DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I DO HOWEVER, OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND BABY KIERAN

A/N: THE LAST SECTION OF THIS IS DEDICATED TO LAURZZ, MUCHMADNESS AND TWINKEYROCKS. AND ANY AND ALL LINDSAY FANS.

AND THANKS TO ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE VOTED IN MY POLL. SO FAR, TURKS AND CAICOS IS FAR AHEAD!

Long time, no see

"I was blown away
What could I say
It all seemed to make sense
You've taken away everything
That I can't do without

I try to see the good in life
but the good things in life are hard to find
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

(Well I'll try to do it right this time around)
Let's start over, I'll try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the love is killing me
But you're the only one
It's not over

I've taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
We've wasted too much time
Being strong and holding on
Can't let it bring us down
My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?"
-It's Not Over, Daughtry

It was a blissfully warm and sunny late April day. While Lindsay had taken Kieran for an afternoon out at the Central Park Zoo, which, along with her eight dollar admission and his free pass, also gained them access to the park's equally as popular and enjoyable Tisch Children's Zoo, Samantha had taken the subway uptown to Cedars Sinai Medical Centre. She had given up driven almost a month before. It had less to do with the infamous, nerve wracking New York City traffic and more to do with the fact that she didn't feel comfortable, at that stage and size of her pregnancy, being behind the wheel and restrained with a seat belt. Although her husband disagreed with her and preferred she took cabs everywhere or got someone to drive her, public transportation was definitely the way to go. She stuck to travelling at the less populated times so she'd be able to sit down instead of having to tolerate the hours of back pain and swollen ankles she'd suffer from long after her trip. And thankfully, if she did have to travel during busy periods, people were gracious enough to offer her a seat. Although there was the odd jerk that insisted keeping their back pack or briefcase on the empty seat beside them or the university students who pretended to be sleeping or so engrossed in their Ipods or school work that they 'didn't notice her'.

The trip from lower Manhattan had been a smooth one. The train was relatively quiet and she'd found a seat tucked away in the back of the last car. Far enough from the other riders that no one would take it upon themselves to head over and make mindless chit chat with the 'lonely looking little girl', as someone had so sweetly referred to as a week before when she'd taken the subway to her doctor's appointment and had ignored everyone the same way as she had with that day's trip. The earphones to her pink Ipod tucked into her ears and music blasting into her cranium, a pen in her hand as she busied herself with writing in her recently purchased pregnancy journal. She wasn't a sociable traveller. At least not with strangers. And she didn't understand why, when people saw her alone and immersed in something, why the hell they couldn't just leave her alone.

She got off at the East 78th station and walked the three blocks to the hospital. Thankful she had managed to convince her husband to go into their closet during some packing and unearth the neon green Crocs that she had purchased when she was six months pregnant with Kieran and sick to death of aching feet. Another expectant mom at the OB's office had been the one to suggest she give them a try. That they worked wonders for the feet. She could still remember the mortified look on Flack's face when, after a shopping spree on her part, she'd showed up at the precinct and dropped the bag down on his desk with a "Look what I bought myself, honey!"

Like most guys, he had had his hopes up that she'd gone out and bought herself something sexy to wear to bed at night. A little treat for him. The gift that keeps on giving. So it had been somewhat amusing -hell it had been damn hilarious- to watch his crest fallen face and horrified eyes when he pulled those Crocs from the bag. He'd looked at her, looked at the shoes, and than back at her again.

"Why?" he asked simply.

She'd explained that they were supposedly the best thing to wear for sore and tired feet and to help take pressure off of the small of her back. Something she so desperately craved. He hadn't been too impressed with how hideously ugly they were style wise, never mind the eye catching colour. Nor had he been too thrilled when he spied the receipt for a hundred and twenty bucks. However, the moment her back pain began dwindling and she was able to stay on her feet longer, he'd quickly accepted the Crocs as part of her.

But it hadn't stopped him from adopting the name Kermit for her.

It was quarter to one when she strode through the front doors of the medical center. She made a pit stop at the gift shop and spent fifteen minutes browsing for a Congratulations on Your New Baby card and a small, simple gift. She chose a Precious Moments card and a beautiful white knit sweater, booties and cap set with sunny yellow ribbons and buttons that had been lovingly knitted by a hospital volunteer. She had it wrapped in tissue and placed in a gift bag and paused at the register to sign her family's names to the card before sealing it in the envelope and dropping it into the bag with the gift.

She took the elevator to the fourth floor and followed the signs pointing to the labour and delivery department and the adjacent post-partum wards. The room number was scrawled on a piece of paper that she had folded and slipped into the pocket of her soft yellow hoodie. Ward 4B, room 403. A spacious private room located near the nurses station that allowed mother and baby to bunk in together.

The door was cracked open and Sam heard no movement beyond it. She knocked lightly, hoping she wasn't disturbing anyone.

"Come in," Stella's voice called out. Sounding tired and weary

Sam pushed the door open and stepped inside. "Hope you're up for some company," she said. The curtains on the window were pulled back, allowing sunshine to tumble into the room. Cards and flowers and balloons lined the window ledge and took up every available space on the nightstands on either side of the bed.

Stella smiled brightly at the sight of her friend as she sat in bed, reading glasses on her face, a copy of Time magazine in her hands. "How are you?" she asked, setting her magazine aside and removing her glasses and setting them on the nightstand as the younger woman entered the room.

Sam looked far more pregnant than only five and a bit months and was absolutely adorable in a pair of denim capris with blue and red and white flowers embroidered around the cuffs and a simple t-shirt under a yellow zip up sweater. Her hair pushed away from her face with a white macramé head band and those hideous Crocs on her feet.

"Well I'm as big as a house and I have to pee every ten minutes," Sam sighed. "But I'm surviving. Look at me, Stel. I look like I'm nine months."

"You're beautiful," Stella assured her. "When Flack stopped by this morning he was all proud papa when I asked about you guys. You know what he's like. That permanent. big, goofy, prouder than a pig in shit grin. He was the same way when you were having Kieran."

"He's an amazing husband," Sam said. "And an even better father."

"Never thought I'd see the day Don Flack was either," Stella laughed.

Sam held aloft the bag. "I come bearing gifts."

Stella patted her lap. "You didn't have to bring anything, Samantha. Flack just brought flowers from the two of you this morning on his way out of town. The arrangement of tiger and stargazer lilies on the window ledge. In the pink frosted vase."

Sam placed the gift bag on her friend's lap and glanced over at the flowers. "They're beautiful. He buys you nicer flowers than he does me."

"I doubt that," Stella said. She reached up and pulled the younger, tinier woman into a warm, tight hug. "It's so good to see you, Sammie."

She smiled and pecked Stella's cheek. "It's good to see you, too, Stella. You look great. Don called to say that you said everything went nice and smooth. Like an hour of pushing and that was that."

"By the grace of God," Stella said.

"And Mac?" Sam asked gently.

"I called him when my water broke. He came right over to my place and brought me here. He just left about an hour ago. He stayed for the whole thing and over night. Right here in the room. The nurse brought him one of those crappy fold out cots."

Sam nodded in recognition. "Don knows those very, very, very well. And I'm glad to see Mac wasn't a total ass about things."

Stella grinned.

"Sorry," Sam said sheepishly. "I'm one to talk. Some days, I'm married to the king of total asses. I'm just glad that you didn't have to go through that alone. I know how terrified I was having K and I had my husband there. I didn't want you to have to do it by yourself."

"He stepped up," Stella assured her friend. "But knowing Mac for as long as I have, I expected nothing less from him."

Sam just nodded. Than gave a bright smile. "So?" she asked excitedly, pushing some curls behind Stella's ear. "Congratulations! How do you feel, mommy?"

"Tired," Stella responded with a sigh. And a loving, peaceful smile. She laid a hand on her stomach and rubbed it softly. "And empty. How weird is that? To feel empty?"

"It's normal," Sam assured her. "It's been a long nine months of carrying another human being inside of you. Having your body go through these crazy ass changes. I'd be worried if you didn't feel empty." She cast a glance over her shoulder at the barely day old infant, wrapped securely in a soft pink chenille blanket in the cot behind her. "How's she doing?" she asked Stella.

"Wonderful so far," the older woman replied, a wide, proud smile gracing her face. "She's eating good, sleeping even better, rarely crying. She reminds me a lot of how Kieran was when he was a baby."

"Well let's hope as she gets older, she's less like him" Sam laughed, as she turned and moved towards the infant. "She's beautiful, Stel," she breathed, reaching out to run a gentle hand over the baby's soft, medium brown curls and her chubby, rosy cheeks.

"Thanks. She's momma's pride and joy. Tiana Marie Taylor."

"Seven pounds, eighteen inches," Sam read off the card taped to the side of the bassinet. "She's a good size. And a great birthday gift too."

Stella slapped a palm to her forehead. "Jesus, I knew there was something I forgot. It's the twenty-seventh today. You're birthday was three days ago. And I didn't even get you a card let alone a present."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Sam told her. "You had more pressing things on your mind. Who knew you'd go into labour two days after my birthday? She's the perfect gift. Just small enough for me to wrap up and hide in my purse."

"I don't think Flack would appreciate that," Stella laughed. "You've already got three of your own on the way. Mind you, for a moment this morning, I thought he might run off with her. He's incredible with babies, Sam. The way he holds them and talks to them and touches them. He's just so, I don't know. Gentle. Very un-Flack like."

"He's got a gift," Sam agreed. "He was amazing with Kieran right from the get go. Some guys just have it. That special way about them. I lucked out and found one like that. Still makes me melt when I think about how he looked holding Kieran when he was so small. This big, strong, tough guy cuddling this tiny baby. Took my breath away every time I saw them together."

Stella smiled. "You're very lucky, you know. To have that. Someone so hands on and attentive."

"He's a blessing," Sam agreed. "May I?" she asked, nodding down at the infant.

"Of course. I'd be offended if you didn't want to hold her."

Sam smiled and reached into the bassinet and peeled off the chenille blanket and gently scooped up the tightly swaddled baby. Holding her so effortlessly and protectively in the crook of her left arm as she took a few steps to the bedside chair and slowly and carefully sat down.

"She's absolutely stunning, Stel," Sam told her friend, running a fingertip over the baby's nose and lips. "You must be so proud."

"I am," the other woman said. "She's the light of my life."

"She's just a doll," Sam said, gently touching Tiana's forehead.

"How have things been with you?" Stella asked, reaching for a Styrofoam cup of ice water on the nightstand and taking a long sip through the straw. "Pregnancy wise?"

"Okay," Sam replied, shrugging and sighing. "I'm only twenty three weeks but I feel forty-three. If I could have these kids now I would. It's been the longest five months of my life. I hope I get through the next nineteen weeks with my sanity still in check."

"Flack said you're going into the hospital early?"

Sam nodded. "Last five weeks I'm too spend in the hospital. My blood pressure's been climbing slowly but steadily and I've been having some cramping and pre-term contractions. They want to me to be where they can control things a lot easier if things start happening too soon. And my goddamn cervix is showing signs of thinning. Again. I was hoping we'd avoid that this time around. The first half of this pregnancy went so well."

"Well once you're in the hospital, you'll feel more at ease. Lots of doctors and nurses around to keep an eye on you. Whose going to watch Kieran?"

"Lindsay will be splitting the time with Don's mom. Linds would have been able to handle it full time, but Erica is due within the next six weeks so there's no way Linds would be able to take care of a newborn and a hellion like Kieran."

"And you guys are moving."

Sam sighed. "And we're moving," she concurred. "Only I'll be in the hospital when the move actually comes. Donnie says not to worry so much. That with Adam and Gus and everyone else that has volunteered to pitch in, he's not short on help. That things will go nice and smooth."

Stella smirked. "When a guy says things are going to go nice and smooth…"

"Is when you have cause for concern," Sam finished with a laugh. "I'm sure he's right. He's a big boy. More than capable of taking care of things. He's got my brother and his dad and Hawkes and Scagnetti and Chester offered their services, too. And Mac and Karly have been…" Sam bit her lip, horrified with herself for even mentioning the 'other woman's' name in Stella's presence.

"You don't have to hide it like she doesn't exist," Stella told her. "I know who she is and her name and what she looks like."

"It's just not the place or the time for me to bring up stuff like that," Sam said quietly, smiling down at the infant in her arms.

"There's never a place or a time for stuff like that," Stella sighed.

Sam gave a nod in agreement. "Did you hear?" she asked. "About Angell?"

"Bits and pieces," Stella replied. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

"She's been transferred so it's all good," Sam said. "We've tried to talk a couple of times, but…." she shrugged. "It's not the same."

"And Carmen and Speed?"

"Tim and Don don't talk. Tim avoids Donnie like the plague. And Donnie doesn't give a rats ass. He says that with friends like that, who needs enemies. Carmen and I talk and all that, but it's hard for her to stay neutral. I get where she's coming from. I mean, I'd defend my husband to death."

"I think most of us would," Stella said, shifting in the bed. She laid her head back against her pillow and watched the interaction between her friend and her daughter. The way Sam touched Tiana's face and head so gently and spoke to her in a soft, soothing voice. "You make a good mommy, Sam," she said.

The petite brunette smiled. "I'm still learning. Honestly, I'm scared to death about having three at once to look after at once. I'll have lots of help from Donnie's mother and his sister in law, but I'm freaking out about all the diapers and all the feedings and so on and so on. I am so glad I said to hell with the breast feeding after K and I'm just doing formula this time around. 'Cause honestly, I could not feed three of them any other way. That's just an insane thought. And Donnie's going to take some time off. Gerrard's letting him take his three weeks plus a month of vacation he has stored up. So I guess, in the long run, never taking holidays and living a relatively boring existence is going to pay off for us."

"You guys will do great," Stella promised her. "You've got each other. That's all you need."

"We've been through hell and back," Sam sighed. "Several times. But here we are. Still married. Raising a family. Despite the way people doubted us and questioned the way we handled things."

"You and Flack will probably be the ones that do make it to forever," Stella said. "I always thought that the longer you knew someone, whether it be as lovers right away or friends first and than whatever afterwards, that it meant you had a better shot at making things work. Apparently, I was wrong."

"You don't know that things are permanently shattered with you and Mac," Sam said gently. "I mean, this could be just some stupid phase he's going through. Like a midlife crisis. Next thing you know, he'll be driving a Ferrari to go along with the younger girlfriend. And than when he smartens the hell up, he'll realize how bad he screwed up and come back to his family."

"You watch too many primetime television shows," Stella snorted.

Sam couldn't help but laugh. "Donnie says the same thing. Because of these crazy ass dreams I've been having about him lately. About him having this sister named Samantha."

Stella frowned. "So he's married to a Sam and has a sister who's a Sam?"

"That's the funny thing. I'm not actually in the dream. It's just him. I think she's the only Sam."

"Sounds like some of that crap they've had on CBS lately," Stella said. "You know the kind where the main female character is always going through some kind of trauma? Every boyfriend she has is a stalker and she even killed one to save herself or some shit like that. Something bad is always happening to her and you start thinking, If one more goddamn thing happens to her or I see any more of her, I'm tossing the tv out the window."

Sam laughed. "There's a web site I visit. It's fan fiction. There's all kinds of stories like that and I just want to puke."

"You actually read stuff like that?"

"Hey, I'd write it if I had the time," Sam admitted. "Don thinks I'm nuts. But it's harmless fun and I…how did we ever get onto this topic?"

"It all started with Mac and his mid life crisis and his Ferrari," Stella said.

"Right…like I was saying, you don't know that things are over for good, Stel. I'll give it a few months and he'll come wandering back. I mean, things just don't fall apart that quickly. No one dumps their wife out of the blue for someone."

"It wasn't out of the blue, Samantha," Stella told her. "It's not like he just met her one night and broke up our marriage the next."

"It was a couple months," Sam said. "I know that much but I…"

"Five months," Stella admitted. "Almost six."

Sam blinked. "But Karly said she met Mac two months ago and…"

"Mac and I have been living under separate roofs for almost six months," Stella told her.

Surprise registered on Sam's face. "And no one knew?" she asked.

"We agreed to keep up appearances at work," Stella replied. "Mac moved out but he kept his mailing address where I was and we agreed to keep our rings on and be civil at work. So no one would suspect anything and ask questions. Because once the questions start, so does the gossip. You know what that place is like."

Sam nodded. "But what happened, Stel?" she asked. "You and Mac loved each other for so long? You guys waited so long to finally be together? If there was ever a couple I'd put money on, it was you and Mac. What happened?"

"Sometimes people can love each other to death but can't stand being together," Stella said. "I think we wanted so bad to make things work that we'd forgotten how to be friends and have fun together. Things changed between Mac and I when we got married. We didn't have that same working relationship anymore. And that was something we valued. And once we lost that…"

"Not always easy working with your husband day in and day out," Sam sighed. "Seeing him on the job and than having to go home and see him there too? Honestly, there's days I want to phone in sick just so I don't have to work with Donnie. Because when we get home, it's hard to leave work behind and we get caught up in talking about cases when we should be talking about each other and K."

"Do you ever think of doing anything else, Sam?" Stella asked. "I mean, you're amazing at your job and you've been an asset to the lab. But to preserve your marriage, have you ever thought about going into another field?"

"I've thought about it a few times," she admitted. "I've never gone more than the thinking mind you. There's something else I've always wanted to do. Even before I met Donnie and we started a family and got married."

"What's that?" Stella inquired.

"I'd like to go back to school. Get my masters in profiling."

"So why don't you?" Stella asked.

Sam glanced down at her stomach.

"I mean after you have the babies. Maybe when all your kids are in school full time. Why don't you go back and further your education?"

Sam shrugged. "Like I said, it's just a thought. And it's really expensive and Donnie and I couldn't afford that."

"There's bursaries," Stella told her. "Student loans."

The brunette just nodded.

"You don't think Flack would go for that idea?"

"I know that he'd support me no matter what," Sam said. "He's just that type of person. He has my back no matter what I choose to do. It's just…I don't know. It's a lot of time I'd have to put into it and I'm worried what it might to do our family. What it might do to us."

"A strong marriage can overcome anything," Stella reminded her.

"So what's yours and Mac's excuse?" Sam asked.

The older woman grinned. "You just have this uncanny way of turning things around on people, you know that?"

Sam grinned. "It's a gift," she said. "But seriously,Stella. I know, in my heart, that this thing with Mac? It's temporary. And he'll smarten the hell up and come home. Where he belongs. You just need to have faith."

Stella just nodded.

"Unless…" Sam's eyes narrowed. "You either don't have faith or you don't want it to work."

The other woman didn't respond.

"Wow…" Sam said. "I guess in this case silence says everything. I'm sorry, Stella, I didn't know…"

"I don't know either, Sam," she admitted, her voice a near whisper. "I just don't know."

Sam glanced up and over at her friend. Slightly startled by the tears now trailing down Stella's face. Stella was always the strong one. The rock. The one that took control and did the comforting if need be.

"What am I going to do?" Stella cried. "My husband is gone…he's with another woman and now I have her…" she nodded in Tiana's direction. "What am I going to do?"

"Just be a mommy," Sam told her. "That's what she needs you to be. Her mommy. And you know that whatever you need, big or small, Donnie and I are always around, right?"

Stella nodded. "Thanks, Samantha. I…I appreciate it. I just…feel so lost, you know?"

Sam nodded and looked down at the baby sleeping so peacefully on her arm. "She's so beautiful, Stel," she said. "And I know it might not seem like it right now, but you can do this. On your own. You're the strongest person I know."

"Sometimes I hate being the strong one," Stella sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Can we talk about something else now?" she pleaded.

"Of course," Sam said with a smile. "Whatever you want to talk about is fine with me."

"Let's talk about normal, every day things," Stella said. "Like what you're doing after you leave here today. What kind of wild and crazy plans do you have?"

"Actually," Sam told her. "I'm taking a trip into Brooklyn. Crown Heights."

Stella's eyes widened. "Alone? Are you nuts? Pregnant and alone?"

"I have some business I need to take care of," Sam reasoned.

"You're insane. Why in the hell would you go alone?"

"It's something I need to deal with by myself," the younger woman said.

"What can be so important that…"

"His name is Lincoln Scott," Sam told her. "He's someone from my mother's past. Someone that my step father thinks I should get in contact with."

"Because…"

Sam sighed. "Because apparently this Lincoln Scott could be my real father."

Stella blinked. "Excuse me? I thought that…"

"That my real scumbag of a father was dead? So did I. So you can imagine how it felt to have that bombshell dumped on my head."

"Are you okay?" Stella asked. "Hearing something like that?"

She shrugged. "It's shocking. But I've come to expect just about anything with my wackjob of a mother."

Stella couldn't help but laugh. "You sounded so much like your husband just than."

"Isn't he such a bad influence?" Sam grinned.

"Does this Lincoln Scott even know that you're coming to see him?" Stella asked. "Or that he even has a daughter? Or might have a daughter?"

"He doesn't know I'm coming," Sam admitted. "But he knows who I am. Whether or not he ever suspected I was his," she shrugged. "Who knows."

Stella sighed heavily. "Be careful, Sammie. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Physically or emotionally?" Sam asked.

"Both," Stella replied.

Sam didn't respond. She just hoped and prayed she came out of the ordeal with one thing.

Peace of mind.

They had lunch at the McDonald's a block from the north west entrance of Central Park. Lindsay dined on a Big Mac with extra large fries and a humongous Coke while Kieran made short work of his Chicken McNugget Happy Meal. Apple slices and caramel dipping sauce in place of the fries. Daddy's orders. But what daddy didn't know wouldn't hurt him, and Linds split her fries with her 'nephew'. Getting one of those massive Flack smiles that dimpled Kieran's cheeks and made those big blue eyes dance and sparkle. That smile was all the thanks Lindsay Monroe would ever need.

They had walked the short distance of the park. Enjoying the mild temperatures and the bright sunshine and the soft breeze that rustled the tree tops. She'd used the tether she'd packed earlier in Kieran's knapsack to attach one end to the stroller and the other to the toddler's wrist. So that he could walk alongside of her instead of whining and moaning about being closed in in his buggy. To Kieran, nothing was greater than being able to walk and see things up close and personal.

His little legs had rebelled on him the moment they'd met the park and she'd had to buckle him in his stroller and push the rest of the way. And now, as they stood, in front of the tiger enclosure, watching as the three beautiful, majestic orange and white cats basked in the sun while on lookers chattered noisily and snapped pictures, Lindsay thought back to her first crime scene five years ago. When she arrived at the same enclosure where a man had apparently been mauled to death by a tiger. How she had met Danny for the very first time and he'd proceeded to allow her to make an ass out of herself by telling her that Mac like to be called 'sir'.

In the end, the victim, whose name had long ago escaped her, had already been dead. But she'd come out of that case with a little more edge to her. Some street smarts.

And one hell of a crush on Danny Messer.

Things had never been easy for them. She'd pushed him away when personal problems overwhelmed her and became almost to much for her to bear. He'd chased her down to Montana and supported her and held her hand in that court room when the verdict came down on Daniel Cadence, the man who had so viciously gunned down her three friends ten years earlier. And when that forewoman announced "Guilty" in that clear, confidant voice, Lindsay had felt the way Danny had squeezed her hand and had felt the way her own body seemed to relax against his.

And that kiss. Or the near kiss, as they had dubbed it afterwards. Her heart had honestly stopped beating for a moment. And had never returned to normal even five years later.

She felt a tug on the bottom of her soft blue hoodie. It broke her out of her reverie and she looked down and into the huge blue eyes and bright smile of Kieran Flack.

"Hey, buddy," she said cheerily and crouched down beside the stroller. "Do you see the tigers?" she took his tiny hand and pointed it in the direction of the animals. "Aren't they beautiful? Did you know that Auntie Linds and Uncle Danny met for the very first time because of a tiger? And you're daddy was there, too. Sneezing away. This was long before he ever met your mommy. So you weren't even a twinkle in her eye than. Mind you, Auntie Linds sure wishes your mommy was around back than. Having her around to talk to and give me a shoulder to cry on sure would have done me a world of good. But than again, so would have your mom and I being more civil to each other when we did meet."

"Mommeee?" Kieran asked, leaning forward in his stroller and looking right and left.

"No, mommy's not here," Lindsay told him. "Do you miss mommy?"

He shook his head.

Lindsay laughed.

Kieran beamed and reached out and grabbed her nose.

"Honk, honk," Lindsay grinned at the giggle that erupted from the toddler. "Honk, honk."

"Car," Kieran said. "Car."

"That's right!" Lindsay cried happily. "That is the noise a car makes? How about this noise? Meow..meow..meow…"

"Cat," Kieran chirped.

"Awesome, buddy!" she praised. "And how about this? Woof, woof. Woof, woof."

"Dog!" Kieran squealed.

"You're amazing, K!" she gushed and held out her hand. "Give me a high five!"

Kieran happily obliged, smacking his tiny hand against hers.

"You're such a good boy," Lindsay told him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head before standing up. "You want to go and see the elephants next?"

"Ucks!" Kieran exclaimed. "Ucks!"

"You and your ducks," Lindsay laughed.

"Daddy ucks," Kieran cried, rocking back and forth excitedly in his stroller, encouraging her to push him. "Ucks! Daddy ucks!"

"Daddy always takes you to see the ducks doesn't he," Lindsay commented, using the toe of her Keds to pop open the brakes on the stroller's back wheels. "You and daddy come and see the ducks every Sunday morning."

"Daddy ucks!" Kieran repeated.

"Well than that's what we'll go and do," she told him, backing the buggy up and turning it left. "You and I will go and see the ducks and give them some bread. I think I packed some in your bag. Are you hungry, K? Do you need something to drink?"

"Dwink!" he agreed whole heartily. "Dwink!"

"Okay," she laughed. "Hold your horses and I'll get you your drink and…" her eyes widened as she realized the Bob the Builder knapsack wasn't dangling from the handles of the stroller. She had put it down on the rock next to where they'd stopped to look at the tigers. "Shit!" she cried, than clasped a hand over her mouth.

"Shit!" Kieran exclaimed. "Shit!"

"No!" Lindsay cried. "Auntie Linds didn't say shit! She didn't! She said sit!"

"Shit!" Kieran insisted. "Shit, shit, shit, shit."

"Why do you have to be so smart?" Lindsay asked, whipping the stroller back in the direction of the tiger exhibit. "Why do you have to be so much like your mother sometimes?"

Kieran shrugged nonchalantly and stretched out in his stroller and plopped his feet up into the tray.

Smart ass little bugger, she thought. You're a Flack through and through.

The Bob the Builder knapsack was thankfully on the rock where she had left it. Lindsay breathed a sigh of relief and scooped it up and unzipped it and pulled out the sippy cup of apple juice. "Here you go, K," she carried it around the front of the stroller. "Here's your drink. You can…" she frowned at the sight before her. Two tiny feet. One with the Diego running shoe still on, the other one covered by a blue and red stripped sock. "Where's your shoe?" she asked.

"Sue!" he answered, pointing to the one on his foot.

"I know you have that one. Where's your other one?"

He touched his other foot. "No sue," he told her.

"You're going to be the death of me, Kieran Flack," Lindsay informed him. "You are way too much like you're father," she sighed and stood up and went back around to the rear of the stroller and swung it around. "Now we're going to have to…."

"Is this what you're looking for?" a soft female voice asked. The missing Diego shoe in her hands.

Lindsay blinked. Not at the sight of that shoe in that hand. But who that hand and that voice belonged to. A voice she hadn't heard in more than two years. A voice and a face she had hoped to never encounter again.

"Rikki," she said simply.

"Hi, Lindsay," the other woman greeted. "Long time no see."

Not long enough, Lindsay thought, but put on a brave smile. "It has been," she agreed, and took the shoe from Rikki's hand. "Thank you," she said, and went around to the front of the buggy to put that shoe back where it belonged. "He's got a habit of pulling off his shoes and socks," she sighed. "He loves to go barefoot. And run naked around the house for that matter."

Rikki gave a small laugh. "Typical. My son does that all the time," she gestured to the stroller alongside of her.

"Your son?" Lindsay asked, glancing over her shoulder at the babbling, happy toddler in the red and white buggy. He had tousled dirty blond hair and creamy white skin. And big blue eyes. Lindsay's heart began to pound furiously in her chest. Her stomach knotted up. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. She felt physically sick.

"Patrick," Rikki said. "He's almost eighteen months."

"He's adorable," Lindsay hoped she sounded more convincing to Rikki than she did to her own ears.

"He's mine and my husband's whole world," Rikki gushed.

Lindsay blinked. "Husband?"

The other woman nodded and pointed in the direction of tall, well built man by a bank of benches several yards away. Attached to his chest was a Snugli. In which was a tiny infant clad in pink, a wide brimmed sunhat on her head and little white socks with lace trim on her impossibly small feet. The husband had tousled blond hair. And when he caught his wife looking at him and beamed, the exact same smile as his son.

Lindsay felt relief wash over her entire body.

Rikki noticed the expression on the other woman's face. "Oh my God…you didn't think that…" she nodded down at her son. "That my son was Danny's did you?"

Lindsay nodded.

"I assure you, he's not," Rikki told her. "I have the paternity test at home to show that my son's DNA matches his father's. My husband's."

"Did Danny know that…"

Rikki shook her head. "I never told him. I didn't see a reason to unless there was a question to who Patrick's dad was. That's Eric," she smiled over at her husband. "And that's our new daughter, Lily."

"You have a beautiful family, Rikki," Lindsay told her.

"I'm surprised to see you. Last I heard you had left New York City."

"I came back not too long ago," Lindsay said.

"And you and Danny?"

"Engaged," Lindsay said, and held out her hand.

"It's beautiful," Rikki gushed, admiring the ring. She smiled down at Kieran. "And who is this handsome little fellow?"

"This is Kieran," Lindsay told her.

"That's a beautiful name. Unusual."

"Means small and dark," the other woman said. "At least the dark part fits."

Rikki laughed and crouched down beside the buggy. "Hi, cutie!" she jiggled Kieran's foot. "You're just a sweetheart. Look at those huge blue eyes! Such expression in them. Are you a cutie?"

Kieran smiled. A smile that clearly meant Damn right, I'm cute. I'm the cutest thing going. Buy me some ice cream right now woman, kind of cute.

"Where does he get the dark hair from?" Rikki asked Lindsay as she stood up.

"From his father," the other woman replied.

Rikki's eyes narrowed. "I thought that you and Danny…"

"This isn't my son," Lindsay laughed. "This is my nephew. Danny's godson. He belongs to my best friend. I work as her nanny. Kieran looks just like his father."

"Father must be a hell of a looker than," Rikki said. "He's a friend of Danny's?"

"Don Flack," Lindsay told her. "The detective that booked you after you stole Danny's gun? He's Kieran's father."

Rikki nodded in recognition. She sighed heavily. "That seems like a lifetime ago," she said.

Lindsay didn't respond.

"I was just in so much pain over Ruben that I…" Rikki paused and took a deep breath. "I was grieving and I made stupid decisions I wish I could take back."

Lindsay reached out and laid a comforting hand on the other woman's arm. "We all make mistakes, Rikki. It's letting go of them and getting on with our lives that matter the most."

Rikki nodded. "I never thought I'd have a chance at happiness at Ruben died. Than Eric came along and now look. An amazing husband. Two beautiful kids."

"And you deserve that Rikki," Lindsay told her. "That kind of love and happiness. You deserve that and Ruben would want that for you."

"I miss him so much…" Rikki breathed, fighting tears.

Lindsay gave a small, reassuring smile. "Day by day," she said. "Just take it day by day."

"I will," Rikki told her. "And I am. I'm coping and moving on. Slowly but surely."

"That's what's important," Lindsay assured her.

"Honey!" Eric called to her over the noise of the crowd. "Lily needs her feeding!"

"I should go," Rikki said, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her t-shirt. "It was nice seeing you again, Lindsay. I wish you and Danny the best of luck and all the love and the happiness in the world."

"Thank you," she responded. "And it was nice seeing you, too. Seeing you so happy and with your family. Good luck. With anything and everything."

"Bye, Lindsay," she offered her hand.

Lindsay ignored and drew the woman into a tight, warm hug. "Goodbye, Rikki," she said, and than released the other woman.

Rikki gave a smile and offered Kieran a wave and than turned to rejoin her family.

As Lindsay watched the other woman head off, it was than that she realized, with that simple embrace and goodbye, that she had finally let Rikki Sandoval go.

For good.

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