Chapter Nine: Take it, hold it in

"Oh no more Firewhisky ever," Benjy said, hugging his goblet and refilling it with water.

"I blame Caroline," Matt said, massaging his temples and glaring at a group of Fifth Years nearby. Caroline was the girl who Matt had been ditched by.

I said nothing because I couldn't lift my head off the table. I held a piece of bacon in one hand but couldn't bring myself to eat it. Ollie was missing from breakfast; I assumed that he was still sleeping. Something I wish I was doing but Nicola forced me out of bed saying that if I could pull it together, maybe Emmeline wouldn't be too harsh on us.

"Ugh, I'm dreading seeing Vance today - she was scary last night," Benjy groaned.

"Well, I think she was being quite fair - she didn't report any of you to the Professors. It could be much worse," Nicola said snippily.

"Nic, I think they've learnt their lesson," Arron said quietly.

"Didn't you get in trouble, Arron?" I said, looking up with great difficulty.

"Nah, I can actually hold my drink, Little Bridge," he chuckled and Matt and Benjy groaned.

"Only because you're built like one of those Muggle wrestlers," Matt said with a sigh. "Uh-oh, head's up, Bridget."

I looked up and turned around to see Emmeline looking quite strict. "Where's Chamberlain?" she asked.

"Sleeping," Benjy said trying to smile at her.

"Well, wake him up and I'll see you four in the Common Room at noon," she said, curtly. She didn't even look at me.

"What a kill-joy. Like she's never got drunk," Matt said with a frown.

I ignored him and looked discreetly over my shoulder to see Emmeline go back to her seat with Sirius at the Gryffindor table. Though he smiled at her, she simply returned to eating her breakfast and he looked a bit put out. He sighed and looked up and our eyes met across the room.

"You okay?" he mouthed.

I shrugged and turned away feeling a bit guilty. It looked like Emmeline was irritated with Sirius for sticking up for me last night. I also remembered that I'd told him I'd watched them pre-shag. Hopefully he wasn't too irritated with me.

"What are you going to tell Ollie when you see him?" Nicola asked me in a whisper and suddenly I realized I hadn't even thought about what I would do about Ollie now that we'd snogged. It was a bit confusing because that was supposed to happen under the influence of a couple of drinks at Slughorn's party. It was not supposed to happen while we were both out of our minds drunk at Hogsmeade. I bit my lip, feeling a little worried. Suddenly a paper plane landed in my scrambled eggs. I unfolded it and read.

"Meet me at the Tree in fifteen minutes. - SB"

Nicola, who had read the note over my shoulder, raised an eyebrow. "What does he want now?"

I threw her a look of confusion. "I thought you were the one who told tales about me to him last night."

She sighed. "Well yes, because Arron was being difficult and saying that you deserved a night of fun and I knew that Sirius would be the only one who you'd listen to."

"Well he didn't really give me a choice," I muttered.

"But then he dragged you off by yourself and maybe if he'd just let Arron and me bring you back then Emmeline wouldn't have gotten so involved!" Nicola said, grumpily.

"What does Emmeline have to do with it?"

"Well she almost let the boys get off with a warning but then she heard Ollie grumbling about Sirius Black always stealing you away from him and she got all pissy and sent me inside to tell them that they'd all deal with their punishment in the morning."

I groaned and slapped my forehead forgetting about my hangover and jumping when the pain doubled. "Oh Merlin, she thinks there's something going on with us too, doesn't she?"

Nicola pursed her lips. "Well, to be honest Bridge - can you blame her? He swooped in to 'rescue' you from someone who you didn't need rescuing from and then took you off to have a private chat? Doesn't that seem a little excessive for someone who's 'just your mate'?"

I shook my head. "No. It could've been the perfect time to talk but I just felt a bit awkward around him because…never mind."

"What?" Nicola prodded.

"Well, I saw him with Emmeline right before they got a room at the Three Broomsticks and they were in a very um, compromising position."

Nicola clapped a hand over her mouth and giggled. "You saw them during foreplay?"

I blushed. "Not exactly…"

Nicola laughed out loud now. "Did they see you?"

"No, but I accidentally let it slip yesterday and he was appalled," I said, covering my face in embarrassment. "We didn't say a word to each other the whole walk back."

Nicola couldn't stop laughing and I frowned.

"Oh sorry," she said, wiping away tears of mirth. "It's just - you make such a big deal about just being mates and then something like this happens and you both can barely say anything to each other."

I waved her off. "Well, I have to go meet him now so I think it'll all be fine."

"Whatever you say Bridge - don't forget to be back at the Common Room by Noon!" Nicola called as I headed to the exit. I noticed that Emmeline and Sirius were both missing from the Gryffindor table and hoped desperately that he wouldn't be bringing her along to the Beech Tree to chat too.

To my relief, Emmeline was nowhere in sight when I spotted Sirius sitting on the ground leaning against the Beech Tree where we spent many of our Frees. It was a lot colder now that December was upon us and I wrapped my coat tightly around myself, shocked that Sirius seemed to be getting by just fine with his normal school jumper. He was looking at the Lake that had started to freeze over and he was turning something over and over in his hands. He didn't notice me until I was standing in his light.

He looked up with a slightly dazed expression on his face and mumbled, "Oh hey Bridge," as if he hadn't been expecting me.

"Hey…um, you wanted to see me?" I asked, feeling as if I was in trouble and seeing a teacher.

"Yeah," he said in the same dazed voice as he got up and handed me a small bottle. I glanced down and smiled. Hangover Tonic. I could have kissed him.

"I owe you," I said as I swigged the Potion down slowly feeling my headache ebb away.

He shrugged. "Listen, I thought you might like to talk."

"About?" I asked, unable to look at him. I hoped he didn't want to talk about me accidentally seeing him in a compromising position with his girlfriend.

"Those posters that were up all over Hogsmeade," he said quietly and I felt my stomach sink.

"Oh."

"I mean, when I saw them I thought that you might've just liked to be left alone but then Hobbs told me you'd been looking for me," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "And I feel a bit bad because I was…indisposed and couldn't be there for you when you needed me."

"It's okay," I said, slumping against the trunk of the tree.

"Are you sure?"

"Don't do that…you're supposed to be the one who understands," I groaned in a soft voice.

"What do you mean?" he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at me carefully.

"You're the one who knows that I hate being asked if I'm okay, Sirius!"

"I know that Bridget, I just meant are you sure you don't want to talk?" he replied, brushing off the fact that I'd raised my voice.

"What is there to say?" I said dully. "I already knew my Dad was murdered. Did it hurt to know that he'd also been tortured? Of course! Did it make me furious to actually see the git who'd done it? Definitely. But what am I supposed to do other than be furious about it? I can't do anything and neither can you!" I was glaring now, my anger back and Sirius just looked at me with that stupid expression that I couldn't place and I scowled.

"Look, I won't pretend to know what it's like to find out what you've just found out…I just don't want you to go off and get piss drunk every time you're angry. I've done that and it doesn't do anything other than give you a permanent headache. You were feeling back on track yesterday, right? Before you saw those posters? You were excited that you were going to the party with Chamberlain, right?"

I nodded, feeling annoyed that he knew that I'd been excited - I never gave him any indication of it.

"So, don't let this new information break you back in to pieces! Take it, hold it in and take it the fuck out on Evan Rosier the minute you become an Auror," he said, fiercely grabbing hold of my shoulders.

"But that won't be for years…" I mumbled.

"So, it'll keep. Pain always keeps, Bridget. And I'll be there next to you when you find him and we'll make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else's Dad, okay?" he said, staring into my eyes with his intense, determined, grey ones.

I looked at him, forcing the itching in my eyes to go away and nodded. "Okay."

He nodded curtly and then looked at his watch.

"You better get back to your Common Room. Emmeline isn't pleased with you and it's almost noon."

We walked towards the castle quietly until we reached the doors and I asked Sirius the question that had been nagging at me all morning.

"Is everything okay with you and her?" I said, carefully.

He sighed. "Stop being so bloody observant," he remarked shooting me the ghost of a grin. He sighed again and looked a bit embarrassed as he resumed his habit of rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, she was a bit annoyed that I'd spent the rest of my evening with you, to be honest."

"Is that why she doesn't seem to be able to look at me?"

"I suppose so, but I've sorted her out now. Told her that you were one of my good mates and you'd been having a bit of a tough time."

"Where was she when you made me leave the pub?" I asked as we passed a few ghosts yelling at each other.

"The loos," he said looking even more uncomfortable. "You see, I sort of forgot about her."

I smacked my forehead and glared at him. "Sirius! How could you?"

"Well I was just at the bar minding my own business and having a drink with the lads and Hobbs comes over begging me to check on you. It just didn't seem like your usual behavior so I was a bit concerned."

I groaned. "Sirius - everyone already thinks there's something going on between the two of us. You, under no circumstances, can ever ditch your girlfriend for me again!"

"But you needed me! Surely she'd run off if one of her mates had a serious problem!"

"Yes, but all her mates are girls," I sighed.

He stopped and grabbed my sleeve to make me look at him. "Are you saying that if it had been James and not you, she wouldn't have been fussed?"

"Well…she might've been a bit annoyed that you ditched her, but it wouldn't have been nearly as bad."

Sirius sighed and rubbed his face. "Merlin, girls are hard to understand."

"And boys can be alarmingly dense. You'll get used to it," I said patting him on the back. "Look, I better go the rest of the way alone - Emmeline will probably be less harsh on me if she doesn't see us together right now."

"Right," Sirius said nodding. "Well, good luck."

"She's not really that scary, is she?" I said, doubtfully.

Sirius shrugged, but there was something in his eyes that told me that he was just as concerned as I was.

I barely noticed Ollie because of the look Emmeline had on her face. Matt, Benjy, Ollie and I sat on a group of armchairs and when she took a seat we all stiffened.

She looked at all of us, her gaze resting on each person before she spoke.

"Look, you're not really in trouble. You all seem like you're decent enough people and I remember what it was like last year. It's tough and having a few drinks to get through it is not unheard of," she said, grimacing at all of us. "What I wanted to say was: be a bit more careful…try to control the amount that you drink because you never know who's watching. You're obviously all intelligent, so you just need to remember to be discreet because if it had been Flitwick or McGonagall catching you like I did, the consequences would be a lot different." Emmeline stared at us, willing us to understand and we all gave her nods hoping that she would stop lecturing us.

She sighed. "Anyway, here you go. A friend of mine gave me these," she said, nicely handing out bottles of Hangover Tonic. Everyone thanked her profusely but when she got to me, stupidly I declined.

"That's okay. I've already had some," I said.

She raised an eyebrow. "Who did you get it from?"

I shrugged. "I already had it."

She frowned, obviously realizing where my stash had come from but cleared her throat and turned to the rest of the group.

"Okay, so I've decided that each of you will lose five points from Ravenclaw. I won't pretend to like it, but if I put you in detention the teachers will ask too many questions."

"Emmeline, we can't tell you how sorry we are," Matt said, pouring on his Prefect facade. "We really appreciate you not dobbing us in."

Emmeline gave him a small smile. "Well, the Head Girl did something similar for me last year, so I'm just passing on the favor. Anyway, you guys can go - you probably have homework to do," She stood up and the boys and I joined her.

"Thanks Emmeline," Benjy and Ollie muttered as they passed her and just as I opened my mouth to say the same, Emmeline spoke to me.

"Er- could you wait a minute, Bridget?"

Ollie, who had been waiting for me, raised an eyebrow at me but mouthed "See you later?"

I nodded and looked expectantly at Emmeline. Please don't talk about Sirius. Please.

"It's, er- about Sirius," she said and I stifled a sigh.

"Look, I'm sorry that I monopolized his evening - I just needed someone to talk to and we're mates, I would've told him to stay if I'd known you were still at the pub," I spluttered as quickly as I could.

"Yeah, he's explained it to me. I hope you don't think I'm too much of a jealous cow! It's just you two are so close and I…I just really like him," she sighed, collapsing in to her seat, a dreamy look on her face.

"Right," I said, awkwardly. "Well, we're just friends so don't worry about me!"

"It's just - I have nothing to compare our relationship with since he's never been in one before. So I look at how he treats you - his friend - and sometimes I wonder if I'm not enough for him."

"Don't sell yourself short," I said, feeling a bit bad.

"I've never felt this way about anyone and I suppose I'm worried that I'll lose him somehow. Or now that he's interested in dating, he'll want to do it more. And…" she went a bit red in the face and bit her lip. "Well, we made love yesterday."

You could have fried an egg on my forehead the way I was blushing. I barely knew her and she was talking to me about 'making love' with Sirius - it was a bit much.

"And I mean, it was the first time for both of us but it was just so good. He's a phenomenal lover. I mean not that I can compare it, but he knows just where-"

"EMMELINE!" I interrupted and she looked up in a daze. "Wouldn't you rather speak to one of your mates about this?"

"Oh, yes…" she blushed. "Sorry. So, what I meant to ask was - you don't fancy him, do you? Because I'm beginning to think everyone in this bloody school does. You know that I've had boils cursed all over me by three different girls?"

I struggled not to laugh, wondering if it had been the Hufflepuffs I'd hexed in the bathroom. "I don't fancy him - I promise you. And he definitely doesn't fancy me because the way he talks about you, he couldn't possibly have time to think about anyone else!"

Emmeline flushed with pleasure. "Thanks Bridget. I can see why the two of you are friends."

"Yes, well…I better go now. I'm supposed to talk to Ollie."

"Oh that's right, you and Chamberlain are going out," she said, getting up to go find her own friends.

"Um, we'll see," I said, dismissively. I was not interested in spilling my personal life to Emmeline regardless of her willingness to open up about hers.

"Bye then!" she called as she spotted Jessy waving at her excitedly.

I was barely out of Ravenclaw Tower when I bumped straight in to Ollie. He had a look of concern plastered all over his face.

"Are you okay? Did you get in more trouble?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No…Emmeline just wanted to talk about her, um, sex life."

We stared at each other before falling into laughter. When it had died down, we looked at each other, blushing a little and he gave me a small smile.

"Shall we have a chat?" he said, holding out his hand for me to hold which I did, shyly.

We walked in silence for a while before settling down at the top of a deserted staircase.

"So…" he muttered, a little embarrassedly. "We were wasted yesterday."

I chuckled nervously. "Yes, we were."

"And we, er- kissed."

"Yes, we did," I said, staring at the floor.

"And… I really enjoyed it," he said, looking at me hopefully.

"Me too," I said still only looking at him out of the corner of my eye.

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, 'cause I really like you Bridget."

Finally, I screwed up enough courage to look back at him. His hair was slightly disheveled and his gorgeous eyes were sincere. "I like you too," I mumbled.

"So, do you want to…um, go out with me?" he said, his cheeks very pink.

"Yes, er- yes, I'd like that," I said, feeling very silly.

His face broke out in a large smile and his hand reached up to stroke my cheek. I looked at him through my eyelashes as he tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear.

"I really fancy you," he whispered before leaning in and kissing me.

It was much better than it had been yesterday. This time, he didn't taste like Firewhisky but mint. And it wasn't sloppy, it was sure and controlled but made my stomach do back flips. I don't know how long we sat there kissing but after what only seemed like seconds, but was probably close to an hour, we separated. He sighed, though his face was bright and alert.

"I have to go," he said regretfully. "I promised to meet Arron to work on our Muggle Studies homework. But, I'll see you at dinner?"

I nodded, biting my lip and trying to stop myself from grinning too much. He grinned back and pecked my cheek.

"See you later beautiful," He said softly before heading off to the Library, leaving me trying not to giggle.

I scrambled to my feet and practically floated as I wandered the halls in pursuit of Nicola. This was a conversation I most certainly needed her for but as I meandered through the corridor replaying the kisses, I bumped in to Sirius and Remus Lupin.

"Oh, hello. Just off to find Nicola," I said in a slightly dazed voice.

The two Gryffindors exchanged looks, turned and fell in to step with me.

"She looks like she's been stunned," Remus said, worriedly.

"Or under some other sort of spell," Sirius added. "Bridget, Bridget - do you know what year this is?"

"1976," I said, with a smile before snapping out of my dreams. "Why?"

"Ah, there you are," Sirius said with relief. "How'd it go with Emmeline? I was worried she'd hexed you."

"No," I said but then added cheekily, "She just wanted to tell me about your sexual prowess."

Remus burst in to shocked laughter and I grinned as Sirius' face heated up.

"No, she didn't!"

"Oh, yes she did. Apparently you know exactly where-"

Sirius clapped a hand over my mouth, though he was laughing now too. "Shut up, Bridget."

When he released me, I smiled. "I cut her off before she started giving out measurements. I rather thought I wouldn't be able to handle the image."

Remus howled with laughter and Sirius shoved me playfully. Though he looked embarrassed, he also had a pleased smile on his face.

"So, what are you two up to then?" I said. "Where are the other two?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "James and Peter are off planning some surprise for my birthday."

Remus spluttered. "No…no, they're doing a detention!"

"And, Remus is in charge of baby-sitting me," Sirius grinned. "You can't possibly beat the prank I pulled on James' birthday last year, I don't know why he's even trying!"

Remus groaned. "At least pretend you don't know."

"I'll try my best."

"So, how are you Bridget? You seem to have a bit of a big smile for someone who just got in trouble," Remus said, changing the subject.

"Oh, no reason," I shrugged. "Hey, have you started that Potions essay?"

Remus looked confused. "What essay?"

"The one Slughorn…oh, hang on, you weren't in that lesson. Where were you? You don't seem ill…a bit tired but well enough..."

Remus and Sirius exchanged a quick look but Sirius took over easily.

"Remus has a furry little problem that he had to deal with."

I frowned. "You mean your rabbit that everyone says is mental?"

Remus and Sirius chuckled. "Yes," Remus replied. "I'm the only one who can control it, so I have to go home to deal with him sometimes."

"Okay," I said, wondering how the teachers could possibly tolerate that excuse.

"Anyway - I see that Hangover Tonic has worked. Did you sort things out with Chamberlain?" Sirius said as we turned down a corridor I'd never been down before.

"Oh yeah, that's why I was looking for Nicola."

"Are the two of you going out now?" Remus said with a teasing grin.

Before I could answer Sirius burst into loud laughter. "Course they aren't! They're only going to Sluggy's party together."

"Actually-" I began but was cut off as Sirius continued laughing.

"Chamberlain is a spazz, even Bridget knows that."

"Sirius!" I said, sternly when we came to a stop in front of a large portrait of a Fat Lady wearing a pink dress.

"What?"

"I am going out with him!" I answered with a scowl.

Sirius gave me an incredulous look, glanced at Remus' amused expression and shut his mouth. "Oh. Sorry."

I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, I'm going to go find Nicola."

"Oh, I actually saw her in the Library with Arron and your boyfriend before we ran in to each other," Remus said, scratching his head. "Sorry, I forgot."

"Oh, okay."

"Well aren't you going?" Sirius asked.

"No, I can't tell her right in front of him!" I explained.

Sirius gave Remus a look of confusion and Remus sighed.

"Girls usually like to have a giggle about it alone first," he explained patiently.

"Horribly put, but true," I grinned at him.

"Oh, well - we're going in. Want to come?" Sirius shrugged.

"Where?"

"Our common room, of course," Remus said, turning to the Fat Lady. "Snargaluff".

She sniffed. "She's not in Gryffindor! Now I'll have to change the password."

"We sympathize with your plight," Sirius whispered sarcastically.

"Sorry," Remus said to her, politely.

"Very well," she said, swinging open and revealing a Common Room that looked a lot like ours except it was decorated in the bold red and gold of Gryffindor House. The armchairs looked more comfortable and worn than ours did and it was much, much, much louder in there than in Ravenclaw Tower.

Remus was heading over to James and Peter who were hurriedly putting away some rolls of parchment and Sirius grinned at me.

"Told you our Common Room was nicer."

"Bit noisy though- how do you do any work down here?" I said, loudly as we walked over to his friends.

Sirius gave me a 'look' and I chuckled as we made ourselves comfortable by the fire.

"Hey Bridget! This is a nice surprise. We don't usually have Ravenclaws in our Common Room," Peter said brightly.

"Yeah, seeing as Sirius' girlfriend is Head Girl, she doesn't like breaking the rules and coming in here. Although after last night, maybe she'll be a bit more daring," James said waggling his eyebrows.

Sirius threw a cushion at him as the rest of us laughed.

"So, I hear there's some surprise for Sirius' birthday?" I said before clapping my hand over my mouth and looking guiltily at three very stony expressions. Sirius however was laughing and slapping his knee.

"Yes, do tell…" he said as James groaned and glared at Remus.

"You know Moony, for someone with so many secrets, you are really terrible at keeping mine!"

Remus flushed. "He knew! He always knows and then he told Bridget. At least Sirius was going to pretend to be surprised."

"Oops," I said, feeling a bit bad. I wasn't very close to Sirius' friends and they didn't seem happy at me blowing their secret.

"And that is why you don't trust anyone but a Marauder," James sighed, throwing a bean at me.

"Marauder?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

They looked at each other and chuckled secretively.

"Don't mind them - they came up with that nickname for their gang back in Second Year and they never really grew out of it!" a voice said from behind me. I turned to see Lily Evans there with her hands on her hips.

"Hi Bridget - nice to see you!" she smiled. "Remus, I have the notes from our last Potions lesson," she said handing a neat stack to him.

"Thanks Lily, I heard that we have an essay due and these two didn't seem to think it was important enough to tell me," he said, indicating James and Sirius.

They shrugged and grinned at each other.

"Only because it's easy, Remus," Sirius said.

"And we don't really care," James added.

"No surprises there. Anyway, see you later," Lily said, waving.

"Hang on! Stay a bit, Evans," James yelled. Lily turned and I noticed that the majority of the Gryffindor Common Room had turned to pay attention.

"What do you want, Potter?" she asked, sighing laboriously.

"Just a chat. Also I wanted to ask you something."

She rolled her eyes and indicated for him to go on.

"Well, I know you're taking Remus to Sluggy's party as a favor to Sirius but since I know you really want to go with me - we should just make it official…" he said cockily.

"Uh-oh, watch her face," Sirius whispered to me. Lily's face was very red and she looked very annoyed.

"So, go with me Evans, you know you want to," James said with a charming grin.

I saw a slight flicker in Lily's anger but she scowled. "Potter, I don't and never will want to go anywhere with you. I'm taking Remus because he's nice and I, unlike you, am not selfish and wanted to help Black on his birthday. So since you, unlike me, are a git, why don't you take the Giant Squid and leave me the hell alone!" she snapped, cuttingly. There was a ripple of laughter through the room and though I thought her words were quite mean, James didn't seem in the least put off.

"You know, you bring the Giant Squid up quite often. I seem to recall you saying you'd rather go out with him than me, last time I asked you. So why don't we just make it a threesome!"

The room shook with laughter once more and to general astonishment, Lily's mouth curved in to an inadvertent smile. James looked like a gaping fish, when she just said, "Oh push off, Potter."

She then walked away to join Dorcas and Alice at the other side of the room, ignoring the muttering and whispering. James sunk in to his chair with a dopey smile and looked at the rest of us.

"Was that just me…or did she…?" he stuttered.

"Yes Prongs, I think she laughed with you," Sirius said, looking equally astonished.

"I'm impressed mate," Remus said, patting his friend on the back.

"You know you might actually be wearing her down," Peter said supportively.

"Wow…" James said, staring in to space.

"He'll be out of commission for at least an hour, now. Want a game of Snap?" Sirius said to Remus, Peter and I. We started the game, ignoring James' happy muttering and lovesick expression.

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing, friends! Sorry for the wait - hope you enjoyed.