Chapter 18

A Light in the Dark

Sometime in the past hour, I think I switched back to my humanoid form. Normally, I'm able to determine something as simple as that, but I still feel so numb from the kidnapping endeavour, I cannot determine anything anymore. My thoughts crash through my mind like a lightning storm. My back is pressed against a corner and my knees are pulled as close to my chest as possible. Tears fall in steady streams from my eyes. How did they find me? What do they plan to do with me? I shiver uncontrollably at the thought of all the possible options that my captors can carry out. They may be monks but, if they think I am a demon, they will have no qualms about killing me. I have only one hope. Brendan. Surely, he does not know of this plan, but the monks will tell him. They can't keep me in his former bedroom forever without telling him that there is a demon in his tower. My last hope lies in him.

Suddenly, the door above opens and light streams in. A hooded figure kneels at the edge of the trapdoor and starts climbing down. I shrink back into the corner. What sort of horrors do they have planned for me, now? The silhouette reaches the bottom as I gain enough sense required to begin to transform into my wolf form. That is, until I see who the man is. He removes his hood with one hand while holding a candle stick with the other. My muscles relax and I am back in my humanoid form. I grin so wide that my cheeks begin to ache. "Brendan..." I whisper. The small, yet, powerful flame casts shadows across his soft face. I use the wall to push myself to my feet and start running, running towards his open arms. I collapse in his hug and sob into his cloak. His callused hands rest tenderly on my upper back and he strokes my wild hair smooth. "I-I knew you'd come." I manage to choke out between gasps.

"It's okay. I'm here, Aisling." he soothes. "I'm so sorry this happened to you, Aisling. Forgive me and forgive them. The villagers were all terrified and they believed something had to be done." I release one of my arms to wipe the tears dry from my face. He's here. He's here with me. Any tightness in my chest has been released all at once. I am laughing and crying at the same time in a semi-hysterical sob. Everything is alright. My insane breaths even out enough to speak.

"The sooner you can tell them I'm not a demon, the sooner I can go home, right?"

"Yes, Aisling. Exactly. I'm so glad you understand." I'm smiling all over again.

"I just knew you'd come! I knew you'd set me free!" There is a long silence as I wait for a response. I break away to arms length from our embrace to stare intently into his ice-blue eyes. "I am getting out of here, right?"

"Yes, of course but-"

"-But what?" I cut him off. He sighs.

"You will get out of here. Just, maybe not now. Maybe not for a while..." I let go entirely and take a step back as if his words are poison.

"What? I don't underst-"

"I sent the brothers for your capture, Aisling. I told them to bring you here." My eyes grow wide in shock.

"Brendan... why?!"

"Aisling, I love you. You will forever be my friend. Yet, in light of your recent actions, the rest of the abbey and I have deemed you extremely dangerous. You are hereby confined to this room until you see enough sense that your actions are never to be repeated. I won't release you until you can prove to me and the rest of the abbey that you are harmless." Each word he speaks feels like a dagger is tearing through my heart. My legs and arms go numb and I am speechless in disbelief. In one swift motion, I fall to my knees. I feel like I am being drained of any energy. I can no longer support my weight, so I kneel on the ground. Betrayed. The word "betrayed" is what hammers inside my skull the most among "helpless", "killer", "demon", " friend". All words that I am labeled with. I find the strength to speak again and I scowl with a shaky voice.

"S-so you're j-just leaving me here!?" Brendan offers me a hand up, but I do not make a move towards his open palm, just as I hadn't back in the forest many days ago when he offered me a place in Kells. When he sees that I have no intention of taking his hand, he lets it drop to his side.

"I had no other choice. Everyone else wants you dead. All of them, even the brothers, believe you are an evil devil in wolf-form. They were ready to stab you and the rest of your pack to death out of fear. I convinced them that the 'devil' could be removed from you and they agreed. Aisling, my hands are tied." Brendan gestures to the space around him. "I'm afraid this room is going to be your home for a while." It takes me a few moments to digest his words.

"You think that I am a devil, then?" He shakes his head.

"Of course not. I know you are not a devil nor is a devil possessing you. You are just a child that has wandered far from the right path. I am going to keep the abbey believing that you are a devil, however. To preserve your innocence." I shake my head back and forth over and over. My friend, my best friend, he is now a warden and I am a prisoner.

"How could you do this?" I whisper.

"What I am doing is for your own good, Aisling."

"Lies. It's all lies."

"I did not lie!" He barks at me. "I said that, when I can honestly tell the villagers that you are no longer a demon, you can go free. But, that means that you have to change before that happens." I look down. I can't bear to even look at him anymore. I hear him let out a sigh and his footsteps as they retreat back to the ladder. "I'll bring you your meals. Please know that it is not forever." With that, the boards of the wooden rungs begin to creak under his weight. I keep my head down and clench my fists until I hear the door slam shut and the lock slides into place. I breath in deep and collapse into tears, right then and there. Warm, salty water crawls between my lips as I gasp for air in between hysterical sobs. The distressed song of my weeping goes on long into the night until consciousness finally gives way to sleep.