Heath woke to find a pair of big, blue eyes studying him intently, it was slightly disconcerting.
"Were you watching me sleep?"
"Maybe..."
"That's kinda creepy you know..."
"No, it's romantic."
"That might be worse," Heath joked but Casey didn't react to it, obviously something was on his mind. "What's up?"
"I..." Casey began but he trailed off into silence, which made Heath think this might be something serious.
"What's wrong Case?" Heath pressed, needing to know so he could fix it. He'd do whatever it took to make things right for Casey. Casey remained silent, staring off at nothing, seemingly weighing whether or not he should tell.
"Hey c'mon," Heath said reaching up and resting his hand on Casey's cheek. He turned Casey's face towards him, "you can tell me."
"Will you take me to see Brax?"
"'Course I will," Heath said with relief. This was such an easy thing for him to do, though he knew it wasn't easy for Casey.
"I miss him."
"So do I." But not as much as Heath had thought he would. Sometimes it was just so easy to forget that he and Casey weren't the only two people in the world.
xxx
They were alone when they arrived at the prison. Kyle and Ricky had driven here separately. Now that they were here Heath turned to Casey, able to focus on him completely now that he wasn't driving.
"What if it's like last time?" Casey asked with uncertainty.
"It won't be."
"But what if..." Casey looked down at his hands as he spoke, Heath needed him to understand it would be okay, because they were together.
"It's not," Heath said with utter conviction, "you're not alone this time, I'm here with you."
"Yes," Casey said looking up at Heath with much more confidence, "yes you are."
xxx
He could do this, he really could. It was the best way, and this transfer was the perfect opportunity to do it. He'd cut his family loose and then they could get on with their lives. No more weekly prison visits or useless big brother to consider, they'd be free. And Ricky would be able to move on with someone else, even start a family of her own. He told her first, she'd taken it pretty well actually, but maybe shock was keeping her emotions at bay. Whatever the case, Brax was glad it was done. And now it was time to face his brothers. Kyle would question it but he'd accept it was for the best, but Heath Brax knew wouldn't be quite so easy to convince. And Casey? Well Heath would have to deal with that...or not. Brax looked across the yard to see all three of his brothers walking towards him. Today of all days Casey had finally decided to come see him. Considering the struggle Casey had had with this, Brax thought about not going through with his plan, but that was only fleeting. If anything Casey's battle was confirmation that he was doing the right thing. His brothers didn't need this crap for the next ten years of their lives. He could do this, he really could.
xxx
They walked to the car in silence. What was there to say? Their big brother had just succeeded in abandoning them for the second time. They'd just managed to come to terms with him being locked up and now he was removing himself from their lives entirely. Heath understood the surface logic but that didn't mean he agreed with it. And he was struggling to comprehend how their own brother could do this to them. Brax had no right to make this decision alone, they were Braxton's, they stuck together. Soon Heath would consider Casey's feelings about this but he had to sort it in his own head first. They climbed into Heath's ute and no sooner than Heath's ass had hit the seat Casey's hands were on him, working feverishly to get in his pants.
"What're ya doing Case?" Heath asked with an uncertain laugh, surely Casey was joking, this was last thing on Heath's mind at the moment.
"I wanna suck you," Casey said seriously, quickly sliding his hand down Heath's shorts and wrapping his fingers around Heath's cock.
"Here in the prison car park?" Heath somehow managed to say.
"Yes," Casey said with determination. He began to pump his hand roughly, it was too much, too quick and too unexpected.
"Casey don't," Heath hissed. Getting caught doing this here was the last thing they needed, it was the middle of the day for Christ's sake.
"C'mon Heath please, let me do this." But Casey wasn't really asking permission, he seemed utterly determined to do this.
"Not here Casey," Heath told him firmly, wrapping his hand around Casey's wrist and squeezing until Casey released his grip. Casey looked up at him then, their eyes meeting for the first time, confusion on his face.
"Don't you want this?"
"Not right here, right now. No. We could get caught-"
"I won't use my mouth then, just my hand. Please Heath, let me do this for you."
"I don't feel like it okay?" Heath said, shoving Casey's hand away from him. What the hell was the matter with Casey? Didn't he care that they'd never see Brax again? That their brother didn't want them anymore?
"Heath please, I need to do this for you, let me make you feel good," Casey said fearfully and then it clicked. Jesus fucking Christ. That's what all this was about? Not just today, but all of it, and he'd been too fucking stupid to see it. Heath's world spun, he should have fucking known there was something behind all this. And he'd done the worst thing imaginable, he'd gone along with Casey on all of this when he'd known it was fucking wrong. None of this had anything to do with real love, it was all fuelled by Casey's fear of abandonment; Casey trying to make Heath stay. Heath felt dizzy and nauseous and he knew he was gonna be sick.
"Heath c'mon," Casey was still pawing at him...
"Casey, let me go, I'm gonna be sick." Heath shoved Casey away and made it to the scummy garden that edged the car park before he doubled over and vomited, heaving up the contents of his stomach, until there was nothing left. He spit a few times, trying to get the foul taste out of his mouth. And then he felt Casey's steadying hand on his back.
"You okay Heath?" Casey asked with concern, handing Heath a bottle of water. Heath took his time rinsing his mouth, he had no fucking idea what to do from here, he'd just made the biggest fuck up of his life. "Heath?"
"Yeah, I'm okay." And that was probably the biggest lie he'd ever told. He was not okay and probably never would be. But he still wanted what was best for Casey, and pushing Casey away now, in the aftermath of Brax's declaration was not the best thing for him. Not to mention a certain promise he'd made. So Heath took a deep breath and steeled himself for the task of letting Casey down gently and putting an end to all this.