DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I ONLY OWN SAMANTHA FLACK AND ALL THE FLACK KIDS.
THIS IS ANOTHER FUTURE CHAPTER AND GOES OUT TO ALL OF YOU THAT LOVE THE FLACK KIDS SO MUCH! AND TO MUCHMADNESS, WHO ASKED FOR SOME DECLAN AND KIERAN. I COULDN'T TURN DOWN THE REQUEST!
ON A SIDE NOTE, I THINK ALL OF US COULD TAKE A LESSON FROM THE LYRICS CHOSEN FOR THIS CHAPTER. THE ONLY DISABILITY IN THIS WORLD IS THE INABLITY TO ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE.
It's all about them boys
"I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep
I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last
A single teenage mother
Tryin' to overcome my past
You don't have to be my friend
But is it too much to ask?
Don't laugh at me
Don't call me names
Don't get your pleasure from my pain
In God's eyes we're all the same
Someday we'll all have perfect wings
Don't laugh at me."
-Don't Laugh At Me, Mark Willis
Kieran was trying to keep a level head.
After he'd put David Truby in the hospital and received his suspension from school, his parents had been keeping a tight leash on him. They'd somewhat relaxed a little on some of the stipulations of his grounding. He was allowed to play video games only if he did so in the family room and for only an hour each day. His mom actually set the timer on the oven, and less than a minute after it sounded, she'd appear at the top of the basement stairs, announcing that time was up. He was permitted to go on the internet, but only if he used one of his parents' lap tops and he stayed in the kitchen with one of them present the entire time. And while he was allowed to leave the house, it was only to attend errands his folks had given him. There were still no visits into the city to see Alessa and she wasn't allowed to come to the house either. He couldn't talk on the phone and he couldn't leave the house after six in the evening.
And most importantly, with the prospect of a civil suit being filled against him, he was stay out of trouble. He was to avoid situations that had the propensity for violence, and he wasn't to get into any altercations with anyone. And dad meant anyone. Not even his brothers and sisters. Kieran was to keep his head in the game and fists at a respectable distance. He in turn, had vowed to be good. The last thing he wanted was to screw up his relationship with his dad anymore than it already was. They were both making a conscious and sincere effort to repair things, and Kieran was looking forward to the two of them spending time alone, just doing guy stuff, the following evening. He didn't want, or need, to find himself into any form of shit and risking flushing his life down the toilet.
But what was a guy to do when shit found him?
He knew there was going to be trouble the second he had stepped onto the bus behind Declan. His younger brother loved taking the bus. Or the subway. It was the two greatest joys of Declan's life. While at first, it had embarrassed Kieran to no end when his brother -just like a little kid- would kneel on the seat and press his face against the window, leaving perfect, moist impressions of his mouth and nose on the glass, Declan's sometimes bizarre, childish behaviour had long ago stopped bugging his older brother. As did the fact that their parents, since Kieran was old enough to be going places on his own, insisted on him taking his younger brother everywhere with him. In the beginning, he'd fought long and hard with his folks about it. He didn't want to be Declan's buddy or his chaperone. Declan was loud and obnoxious. He was annoying. Embarrassing.
He'd only gotten away with calling his kid brother that once. He'd made the mistake of saying it to his father and the shit had hit the proverbial fan. Dad was immensely protective of Declan. More so then he was with Kieran and his other siblings. And the rest of the Flack kids -save for Liam who was just too young to really care and Mikayla who possessed a startling amount of compassion- had quickly grew to resent their disabled brother because of all the extra attention he received from their parents. They had been -and still were to some extent- all about Declan. About his special needs and getting him whatever he needed to learn things. About keeping on top of his medical problems and making sure he was healthy. About educating ignorant people about Down Syndrome. And the other kids in the family had been jealous and ashamed of the way Declan was.
Now that Kieran was older and had done his own research about Down Syndrome, he found that he actually liked spending time with his brother. So what if looked a little different and talked a little funny and his voice was a little too loud? So what if he couldn't tie his own shoes and he was thirteen? Kieran refused to take Declan anywhere if he was wearing the Velcro runners mom had bought to make life easier. They made Declan looked exactly like the R word, and Kieran would rather tie Declan's shoes up a thousand times in one outing then have his brother look like that. He didn't care anymore that his brother was different. He hadn't asked to be born that way, and no one had done anything to cause it to happen. And nothing could be done to 'fix' him. God had made him the way he was and it was as simple as that.
Too bad that there were so many ignorant bastards out there.
Kieran could spot them from a mile away. The judgemental, obnoxious pricks of the world that got a kick out of picking on someone. Even someone that was half their age and vulnerable. There were three of them in total- greasy haired stoners who should have been the last people talking shit about anyone- sitting at the back of the bus. Annoying the several other passengers on board with their excessively loud voices and their continuous profanity.
Kieran, as he put the tickets into the fare box while Declan was busy chatting up their usual driver -Bill, as he'd long ago told them to call him after one of the many trips to grandma and grandpa's, was close to retirement and didn't mind telling you so every time he saw you- had seen the way the guys at the back of the bus smirked at the sight of Declan. Had noticed the way they'd nudged each other and then started snickering to each other as Kieran, a firm hand on the back of his brother's t-shirt, led him to a seat in the middle of the bus.
As usual, Declan insisted on sitting by the window and clambering up onto his knees to gaze out the window. And by the time the bus pulled away from the stop, the jackasses at the back were already tossing out mean comments about the 'retard' and his 'handler'. Kieran bristled at the teasing, but said nothing in return. Bill yelled at the guys to shut up or he'd kick them off, and the other passengers glared at them, but that only seemed to make things worse. And while Declan seemed oblivious to what was going on, Kieran also knew how sensitive his brother was and how easily his feelings got hurt.
"Sit down D," Kieran gently ordered, as he tugged on the back of his brother's shirt and forced him into his seat. "There's nothing new you need to see."
"B…b…but I like l…l…looking out the window K."
"You can look out the window on the way home," Kieran told him. "We'll sit on the other side so there's different stuff to look at. Or we'll take the 22 B home. It's a longer ride and goes through downtown. It's a longer walk home from the stop, but that would be cool."
"But I like t..t…this bus," Declan argued. "And this s…s…side."
Kieran sighed heavily. Trying to convince Declan to change his mind about anything was a never ending battle. Like most people with Down Syndrome, he dreaded changes in his routines and suffered great anxiety if things were upset in even the smallest way.
Pulling off his Mets cap, Kieran moulded the brim in his hands before returning hat to his head. Backwards this time. "When I go to the hockey game tomorrow with dad I'll bring something back for you, okay?" he tousled his brother's hair affectionately. "Like a t-shirt or a hat or something. Sound good?"
"R..R…Rangers suck," Declan declared. "D…Devils the best. Ev…ever."
"You're only saying that 'cause they're mommy's favourite team and you're a momma's boy," Kieran said. His body tensing as the bastards behind them launched another round of insults. Not stopping at the use of the R word and instead throwing in homophobic slurs as well.
He wanted nothing more than to get up and storm to the back of the bus and beat the shit out of the lot of them. Instead, he bit his lip and twisted his head from side to side until his neck cracked noisily as he fought to control his temper. Reaching into the pocket of his black and tan DC Shoes sweatshirt, Kieran pulled out his Ipod and unravelled the earphones from around it and flicked it on.
"Here…" he said to his brother, and reaching around Declan's shoulders, gently tucked one of the bud's into the thirteen year old's left ear. "Music will make the bus ride go quicker," he reasoned, as he pushed the second bud into Declan's right ear.
Declan's eyes widened in surprise. "B…b…but th…that's your's K!" he exclaimed, staring down at the Ipod in his brother's hand.
"I know. And I don't let anyone use it, do I."
Declan shook his head.
"Well now, I'm letting you use it," Kieran said. "But only you. Got it. Only 'cause you're my favourite brother."
"Not Liam?" Declan sounded, and looked, shocked.
"Liam?" Kieran asked with a laugh. "Are you kidding me? Liam's a pest. A total pain in the ass. You're my fav, D. You always have been. You know that."
"You're my fav too, K!" Declan declared, and pressed a noisy kiss to his brother's cheek.
Although mom and dad faced the ongoing struggle of teaching their son what was and wasn't appropriate behaviour for his ass, hugs and kisses from his brother weren't normally a problem for Kieran. It wasn't like the kid was going it to be disgusting or anything. But as the group at the back of the bus roared wit laughter, Kieran felt his cheeks flushing with both embarrassment and rage.
He pressed play on the Ipod and cranked the volume, then glared over his shoulder at the morons who had the gall to make fun of his brother.
"Got a fucking problem cake boy?" one of the losers asked. "What the hell you think you're looking at?"
"Nothing much," Kieran replied. "I was just wondering when pieces of shit grew legs and taught themselves how to walk and talk."
"Turn around you little punk ass bitch, or take your little homo retard there and go back to where you came from."
"Three bus stops isn't much of a trip," Kieran retorted. "How about you and your buddies there go back to the trailer park, smoke some more dope, drink a couple of forties and find your sisters to mate with. 'Cause only imbreeders can be that ignorant and that ugly."
The apparent ringleader - a tall, impossibly skinny kid with a blond mullet under a camouflage ball cap and clad in an olive green flack jacket and dirty and torn jeans - was on his feet in an instant and stomping down the aisle of the bus.
Kieran calmly got to his feet and met the bully half way. He had a good three inches and twenty pounds on the older kid, and noticed the way his eyes -and his buddies' for that matter- widened as they got a good look at size of the kid who fearlessly stood chest to chest with their friend, a hand firmly planted on the back of a seat on each side of bus.
"Not so tough now, are you," Kieran smirked. "Bet I didn't look so big from all the way at the back, did I. Or is that you didn't think I'd actually stick up for myself and throw you a beat down in front of your buddies?"
"Looks like you've already had beat down put on you," the other boy acknowledged the bruises on Kieran's face. "Don't make me blacken your other eye, pretty boy. Hate to have to mess you your face and upset your little retard boyfriend there."
"First…" Kieran took a step forward, knocking the bully back with his chest. "He's my brother. And second, he's not a retard. He has Down Syndrome, asshole."
"Tree twenty f…f…first chromosomes," Declan announced, clearly proud of himself for remembering that little detail. "Developmental d…d…disability. That's wh…what mom taught me."
"See what I mean?" Kieran asked the young man in front of him. "He's got a better vocabulary and a bigger brain than you do. So now who's the retard?"
"You got a smart mouth kid. Someone needs to teach you a lesson."
"Before or after they need to extract my fist from your face?" Kieran asked. "Now back off and sit your bitch ass down. 'Cause trust me, me and you? It'll only be two hits. Me hitting you and you hitting the ground."
"K…" Declan was on his feet and tugging frantically at his older brother's sleeve. "No fighting! Mom said no! Dad said no! No trouble."
"Sit down D," the fifteen year old ordered. "Just sit down and…"
"Mom said no!" Declan bellowed. "What m…mom says goes, 'member?"
"Looks like tough guy here is a mommy's boy!" the bully gave a chuckle. "Wouldn't want to get in a fight and upset mommy now, would you? Wouldn't want mommy to get mad at you."
"Back off my mother," Kieran warned. "Say anything else about my mom and I'll…"
"And you'll what? Run home crying to her? 'Cause someone was mean to you? You'll go crying to mommy and get her to kiss your boo-boo's better? Guess what? By the time you get there, I'll already to be at your house getting your mommy to kiss something of mine."
Kieran's jaw tensed. His hands tightly gripped the seat on either side of him. "Back off my mother…say any more shit about her…"
"Maybe what your mom needs is a real man. Someone who won't give her a retarded kid."
"I am not a r…r…retard!" Declan screamed, and before Kieran could react, found himself knocked off balance by his brother charging past him and then caught a brief glimpse of Declan's left fist connecting solidly with the bully's face.
The young man went down hard, and as pandemonium erupted on the bus - passengers screaming at the driver to stop, some of the men on board cheering Declan on and encouraging him to 'kick the mother fucker's ass!'- Kieran snapped himself out of his daze in time to see his brother sitting on his tormenter's chest and pummelling him mercilessly. And his buddies still in their seats, slack jawed and completely stunned by the turn of events.
As the bus finally screeched to a halt and Bill shot out of his seat and bounded down the aisle, hollering about calling the cops, Kieran wrapped his arms around his brother's waist and forcefully yanked him off of the older kid he was currently beating to a pulp. Mild mannered Declan, who'd never gotten involved in the many fights his siblings had waged against each other over the years and who had always happily and peacefully sat on the sidelines and for years had taken getting picked on by others, had simply snapped.
"You boys better get the hell out of here," Bill instructed Kieran, jerking his thumb over his shoulder to where the front doors of the bus stood open. "I'll take care of these morons here. They've been bugging people all trip. I've got a good mind to call the cops and have their asses hauled in for public mischief and harassment."
"Call the cops on him!" the bully on the ground, nursing his bloody nose and split lip cried as he directed a kick in Declan's direction. "He assaulted me!"
"You were tormenting him jackass!" the driver yelled. "How far are you going to get with that complaint? And how cooperative and friendly do you think the NYPD is going to be when you not only picked on a special needs kid, but a special needs kid whose dad just happens to be Deputy Inspector for the department?"
"Chief of Detectives actually," Kieran said smugly. "Just got promoted."
"How is that going to look?" Bill asked the injured young man at his feet. "Picking on the Chief's disabled kid? Think picking on special needs kids makes you a big man? Think it earns you respect? Just makes you look like the ignorant piece of shit that are! Now get your ass up and sit it down before I call the cops!"
Kieran watched, a satisfied smirk on his face, as the older boy stumbled to his feet, clutching the front of his shirt to his face in order to staunch the flow of blood that trickled steadily from his nose. It had felt damn good to see that kid get what he deserved, but it would have been even more gratifying had he been the one to kick his ass.
"Trouble…" Declan was moaning behind his hands as he rocked back and forth on his heels. "Big trouble…dad…big trouble…"
"Come on D," Kieran wrapped a protective arm around his brother's shoulders and gently turned him around and led him to the front of the bus. "Let's get out of here. We'll walk the rest of the way to grandma's okay?"
"Big trouble…" Declan sobbed. "Dad…trouble…"
"No one is in trouble," Kieran promised, and stepped off the bus first before turning around and taking his brother by the elbow and helping him down at well. "You did the right thing," he assured his brother, as he escorted him down the sidewalk. "That guy deserved to get the shit kicked out of him. You didn't do anything wrong."
"Fighting is wrong!" Declan bellowed behind his hands.
"Only when you do it for no reason," his brother said. "And you had a reason. That guy was picking on you and you taught him a lesson. Don't worry about it."
"No K!" Declan screamed, as he wriggled his way out of his brother's embrace. "Wrong!…trouble!….dad!"
"You're not going to get in trouble with dad!" Kieran retorted. "He's not even going to know. Who's going to tell him? I'm not. Why would I do something stupid like that?"
"Guy on bus!" Declan cried.
"That jackass doesn't know who we are or where we live. All he knows is dad is the Chief of Detectives. You honestly think he's going to tell the Chief of Detectives that his disabled kid beat the shit out of him 'cause he was picking on him? That guy isn't going to do shit."
Declan shook his head adamantly and promptly dropped down into the middle of the sidewalk and proceeded to gather his knees to his chest and commence rocking back and forth.
Kieran sighed heavily. Thankfully the sidewalk was deserted in both directions and he didn't have to deal with the rude comments or the quizzical and disgusted stares he and Declan would both encounter. Dropping down onto his knees on the cement, he moved into a sitting position and reaching out, wrapped both of his arms around his brother's trembling body. Resting his chin on top of Declan's head, he rocked in time with his brother.
Over the years, he'd witnessed his parents doing the exact same thing when Declan had a meltdown or an anxiety attack over something. With his sensory processing issues, there was a lot that set Declan off, that saw him sitting down wherever he was -in the middle of a grocery store, in the middle of a public parking lot, in the middle of the crime lab when mom worked there or in the middle of the busy precinct when dad was still just a normal cop- clutching his knees to his chest and rocking and moaning incessantly. A specialist had told them that although Declan was considered high functioning, he did show 'autistic tendencies'. The doctor had then shown them how an iron tight embrace put pressure on certain nerves and worked effectively to calm their son down. As did the weighted vest he sometimes wore at school and home and the weighted blanket he'd been taking to bed with him since he was a little kid.
Several minutes passed before Declan's sobbing and moaning finally subsided. Kieran drew away slightly and used the sleeve of his sweatshirt to dry his brother's face. Then grimaced as he had to use his cuff to clean Declan's runny nose.
"You okay now, D?" he asked, running a hand softly over his brother's hair.
Declan nodded.
"Mom and dad aren't going to find out about this, okay? I'm not going to tell them. Are you?"
The thirteen year old shook his head.
"We tell them about what happened and the shit will hit the fan. And there's been enough crap going on around the house lately, don't 'cha think? I sure as hell don't want to get into any more trouble with mom and dad. Especially dad. He's about ready to kill somebody, I think. He finds out we got into a fight and we're in deep shit. So let's just not mention it. Let's just keep it between us. Okay?"
"Okay," Declan agreed.
"Mom doesn't need the stress anyway with the new baby and all of that. She needs to stay nice and calm. We don't want anything happening to mommy or our new brother or sister, right?"
"Right…" the other boy sniffled.
"Now let's go to grandma's. She's going to wonder what the hell is taking us so long. Then she'll call the house and dad will wonder what's taking us so long and the next thing you know, he'll come looking for us. And who needs that kind of stress? So…" Kieran clambered to his feet and wiped dirt off of the back of his cargo shorts. "…let's get the hell out of here and pretend that never happened, okay?"
He stretched a hand out to his brother and helped Declan to his feet. Removing his ball cap, he settled it on his brother's head before peeling off his sweatshirt and tying it around his waist.
"I bet ya grandma will have some of them hermit cookies she always makes," Kieran said, as he slung his arm around Declan's shoulders and began leading the way down the sidewalk. "Those cookies are awesome. We're going to have to cut through some backyards and hop some fences to get there, though. We'll be walking forever if we take the proper way."
"Too far," Declan complained.
"It is too far. But it's a good thing in a way. 'Cause if grandma lived closer…well would you want her at the house all the time?"
Declan shook his head vigorously.
"Mom and her would fight constantly and that would not be good. Bad enough mom and dad fight all the time. Who needs to listen to her and grandma scrapping it out. And then there's Reghan and Alannah."
"Alannah in trouble," Declan declared.
"Big time trouble. Dad's going to seriously tear her a new asshole. Aren't you glad we're going to grandma's house? We don't have to be around to hear him freaking out."
"Good thing," Declan agreed.
"Say…where'd you learn to hit like that, D? You've got yourself a hell of a left hook. You been practicing or something?"
"It's a s…s…secret…" the thirteen year old said, and bringing his forefinger to his lips, make a loud shushing noise.
"A secret? Come on…I tell you my secrets all the time. Who taught you to hit like that? That's not something you just made up all on your own. Someone must have shown you how to do that. You can tell me, D. I won't tell anyone."
"Mom get mad."
"I won't tell mommy. I promise. I won't say a word to her."
"Pro…pro…promise?"
Kieran nodded.
Declan stopped walking and motioned for his brother to bend down. Cupping his hand around Kieran's ear, he whispered harshly, "Dad taught me."
"Dad taught you how to put the beats on someone?"
Declan nodded. "Mom d…d…doesn't know. Secret. Me and d…d…dad."
"So dad taught you how to lay the smack down on people and told you not to tell mommy about it?"
A broad grin slowly spread across Declan's face as he nodded once more.
"Dad's pretty cool, huh?" Kieran asked, as he led the way down the sidewalk once again. "Dad can be a really neat guy sometimes."
"All the time," Declan declared. "Dad always cool."
"Yeah…I guess he is cool all the time…when he's not yelling and freaking out about something. Don't you think he yells a lot?"
"Only when you're bad," Declan told his brother. "All the time."
"I am not bad all the time," Kieran argued.
"Yes K…you…always bad. You always m…m…mean."
The fifteen year old frowned. "I'm not always mean to you."
"No…but mean to other p…p…people. You're scary when you're mad."
"Are you scared of me?" Kieran asked. "And be honest with D. Are you scared of me?"
"Sometimes," Declan replied. "But I k…k…kick your ass."
Kieran laughed. "I wouldn't doubt it…look, how about I promise not to be so mean? Would that be good?"
His brother nodded.
"'Cause I don't want to be mean. I don't want to scare you. I'm a good guy, D. You know what. And you're my brother and I love you and I don't want you to be scared of me. Remember what I told you yesterday? About how when I'm older and I've got a good job that you can come live with me? I meant that. But you can't live with me if you're scared of me, can you?"
Declan shook his head.
"So that's something I'll work on, okay?"
"Okay…" the thirteen year old agreed.
"Good…" Kieran tousled his head. "I think I'm going to call you Declan 'The Natural' Flack from now on. You know, like Randy Couture."
Declan grimaced and shook his head. "Iceman," he said. "Chuck L…L…Lidell."
Kieran frowned. "You really are a mommy's boy, you know that?"
Declan shrugged and tapped a finger against his left temple. "M…mom's brains…dad's looks."
Kieran laughed heartily and pulled his brother tightly against him.
"You are definitely learning from the master," he declared.
The entire day had been nothing but a source of massive déjà vu for Danny Messer.
From the moment he'd picked Liam up at ungodly hours and headed into Manhattan for the Blessing of the Bikes, he'd been on pins and needles. That same church, that same priest -although he was now fifteen years old and had several understudies serving underneath and was in line to become bishop the last Danny had heard- and the same weather had easily and effortlessly transported him back to a day nearly eighteen years ago. When he'd been woken up to Ruben Sandoval banging on his door at seven thirty in the morning. When he'd stood by Ruben's side in the church when the priest had given his blessing and travelled down the aisle sprinkling each kid's bike with holy water. When he'd walked alongside of Ruben as the ten year old, decked out in his spring jacket and a helmet, navigated the busy sidewalks on his wobbly bicycle.
Danny had known it would be a hard event to get through. That it would bring back a lot of unwelcome memories of a day that he'd never fully gotten over. The grief and the guilt, although much more subdued now, still lingered under the surface and sometimes reared their ugly heads. And while Flack and Sam and even Linds had told him that he didn't have to take Liam to Blessing of the Bikes, Danny had insisted that he did have to. He didn't want to disappoint Liam. Liam was his buddy, little Flack as Danny had been calling him for years, and he loved spending time with the kid. Taking him to sporting events and to the park. Tossing a football around with him or keeping an eye on the kid as he climbed trees or made his way to the top of the monkey bars and dangled upside down from his ankles. He liked taking Liam to the zoo and to McDonalds. Liam was a fun kid to be around. Smart with a wicked sense of humour, he always said the most hilarious of things at the most inopportune times. Danny wondered if that was some of himself that had rubbed off on his honorary nephew.
There'd been no question in his mind that he'd attend the Blessing of the Bikes. He had insisted that he'd be fine. That he'd be able to handle it. And outwardly, he'd been a rock. He'd smiled down at Liam when the soon to be seven year old looked up at him with that huge toothless grin, happy as a pig in shit that his bike - a silver and blue kid's mountain bike that mommy and daddy had given him as an early birthday present- was the coolest one out of all the kids'.
Inside, Danny was an anxious mess the second they'd stepped foot in the church. He'd thought about Ruben constantly. He'd nearly called Liam by that name several times and had been unable to shake the memories that still haunted him. He had thought, by taking Liam to the Blessing of the Bikes, that he'd finally be able to exorcise the demons that plagued him. That he'd finally rid himself of the grief and guilt that had hung over his head like a dark cloud for eighteen years.
Danny was still waiting for that to happen as he walked down 112th street in the bright May sunshine, a cup of coffee in one hand and Cherry Coke slushie in the other, as Liam Flack, in his Nike hockey sweatshirt and baggy jeans and air walk running shoes and his silver helmet and black knee and elbow pads -Danny had refused to take him without the proper equipment and Liam had reluctantly went along with it- pedalled his brand new bike slowly beside his uncle. Three weeks ago, the training wheels had been succesffuly removed from his old bike, and Liam was yet to become a master on a two wheeler. But the kid was damn determined. Tenacious.
Just like his mother.
"Uncle Danny?" Liam asked curiously, wobbling unsteadily on his bike.
"What buddy?" Danny inquired in return, moving the slushie to the hand with the coffee cup already in it in order to grab a hold of the back of the bicycle seat in an attempt to keep Liam from swerving into a pedestrian.
"What does knob gobbler mean?"
"Excuse me?" Danny couldn't help but laugh. "Where did you learn that?"
"K said it this morning," Liam said. "What does it mean?"
"It means that your brother needs to watch his mouth around you is what it means. Also means I'm not going to tell you."
"Is it that bad?" Liam asked. "Is it a bad word?"
"It is. And you're not to repeat it. To anyone. When you're older maybe I'll tell you what it means. But definitely not right now. So don't you be going and saying that to anyone, okay?"
"Not even daddy? Daddy might know what it means. He might tell me. Can I ask him?"
"Are you insane? Under no circumstances are you to ask your dad what that means. He'll know what it means but no way do you go back and ask him when you get home. Understand me? You only say that to him if you want a mouthful of soap and a tanned ass. Got it?"
Liam nodded. "Is K in trouble? Are you going to yell at him for saying it?"
"I might wash his mouth out and tan his ass, yeah. Unless you want to keep it our little secret. You wanna do that?"
"I think that's for the best," Liam said.
"Yeah…me too," Danny agreed. "So? Did you have a good time, Little Flack? That was pretty cool, huh? Getting your bike blessed like that. You have fun?"
"Yeah…and I didn't even get killed and that's the best part!" Liam cried happily.
Danny blinked as Liam's innocent words cut deep.
"I was really scared, Uncle Danny. 'Cause Kieran told me that the last kid you took to Blessing of the Bikes got killed. And I didn't want it to happen to me!"
Danny swallowed noisily. Stunned by not only Liam's words, but the fact that tears threatened. That he was that hurt by a seven year old that didn't know the weight behind what he was saying. Who was too young to know the entire story and who honestly didn't realize that he was talking about was part of his uncle's past that was still so painful and raw. It wasn't Liam's fault that he'd never gotten over Ruben's death. Nor was it Liam's fault that he'd been told of the unfortunate incident that had happened long before the kid was even a tinkle in his mother's eye. Liam didn't know he was doing anything wrong, and Danny couldn't, in good faith, punish the kid for repeating something he'd heard.
But he was going to catch up to Kieran and get his hands around the kid's neck and shake some goddamn sense into the punk ass.
"Uncle D would never, ever let something happen to you, Little Flack," he said, after he'd finally found his voice and managed to shove the emotion to the back burner. "You know that, right? That Uncle D loves you and would do anything to protect you. You know that right?"
"Yep," Liam nodded vigorously. "I know that. I was just scared, that's all. 'Cause what if the bad guys did something to you first and then got a hold of you? What then, Uncle Danny?"
"No bad guys are going to get a hold of me, or you," Danny told him. "Nothing is going to happen to either one of us. We're both perfectly safe."
"Would you shoot them? If the bad guys tried to hurt me?"
"I wouldn't need to shoot them, Liam. Anyone tried to hurt you, I'd kill them with my bare hands. And that's the honest to God truth right there. Why you talking like this? Why are you talking about bad things?"
"Some bad guy killed some policemen last night," Liam said. "And you and daddy and Uncle Peanut are policemen. And long time ago something bad happened to you and Uncle Peanut. Right, Uncle Danny?"
"Long, long, long time ago," Danny told the little boy. "Long before you were ever even thought of. Before any of you Flack kids were thought of actually."
"And then daddy got shot and he was really sick for a long time and they thought he was going to die. And mommy got shot too. But she was okay 'cause the bad guy missed."
"Your mom had a bullet proof vest on it and it saved her life," Danny clarified. "This all happened a long time ago, Liam. Why are you….?"
"We all die Uncle Danny. All of us. Even the goldfish and the hamster at school. There's lot of bad guys out there."
"There are," Danny agreed. "But it's not up to you to worry about that, okay? Your mom and your dad will never let anything happen to you. And neither will I. So you've got nothing to be scared of. Okay, Little Flack? Nothing at all to be scared of. You just worry about whatever little boy things are going on in that head of yours and you let the adults worry about adult stuff. Okay?"
"Okay…" Liam chirped. Then quickly changed the subject. "Did you know it's my birthday next week Uncle Danny?"
"How could I forget?" he asked with a grin. "You've been reminding me three times a day for the last month."
"Uncle Peanut is buying me this really cool science set!" Liam exclaimed excitedly.
"Well Auntie Montanie and I bought you a totally rocking gift that's better then some science set," Danny told him, and taking a swig of his coffee, grimaced at its acrid taste and tossed the remainder of his drink in the nearest trash.
"Cool!" the little boy shrieked happily. "It's going to be so much fun! You know that we're going to Chuck E Cheese?"
"I know that too," Danny confirmed.
"And you know what mommy and daddy got me for my birthday?" Liam asked.
"Other than your new bike?" his uncle inquired.
The little boy's head bobbed up and down as he nodded. "Mommy and daddy got me a baby brother or sister for my birthday!" he shrieked. "Isn't that awesome?"
"Your mom and dad got you a what for your what?" Danny asked, shocked by the child's announcement.
"A baby brother or sister," Liam repeated. "Daddy and mommy told us this morning at breakfast. Me and K and Declan were really excited but Reghan and Alannah and Mikki were really, really upset. They said it was gross. That it was embarrassing. A baby isn't gross or embarrassing. Why would they say that?"
Never mind that, Danny thought. Why wouldn't your parents say anything about it? Why wouldn't they tell people?
"I think it's kinda cool," Liam continued. "'Cause I hate being the youngest one. It's about time someone else can be the baby. I don't want to be the little one anymore. I'm sick and tired of it. I just hope that I don't have to share my room or any of my toys or anything like that. You think that will happen, Uncle Danny? You think I'll have to share any of my stuff?"
"Depends," Danny said. "On whether the baby is a boy or a girl."
"I hope it's a girl!" Liam cried. "'Cause I don't have any girls stuff!"
"When did your parents find out about this new baby?" Danny asked, carefully fishing for information.
"I don't know…long time ago, I guess."
"And they just told you guys this morning?"
Liam nodded. "Mommy's already getting fat!" he announced. "I saw where the baby is Uncle Danny. And you can see how fat she's getting already!"
Danny laughed. "Well take my advice, kid. Don't ever tell any woman, whether it's your mom or not, that she's getting fat. You want to make it to your birthday party, don't tell mommy she's fat. Got it?"
"Got it!" Liam cried. "But isn't it lying, Uncle Danny? If I don't tell her? Isn't lying bad?"
"It is bad. But…"
"Then how come every time mommy asks daddy if she looks fat he says no. How come he's lying?"
"Well…maybe your dad doesn't see your mom that way," Danny reasoned. "Maybe he doesn't see her as fat. Maybe he sees her as having a baby. So technically, he isn't lying. And he knows that it would hurt mommy's feelings to call her fat so he doesn't do it. He doesn't want to make mommy sad and he also doesn't want to sleep on the couch for the rest of his life."
"So it's okay to lie if you don't want to hurt someone's feelings?" Liam inquired.
Danny smirked. "Why do you wait until you're out with me to ask all the tough questions?" he asked. "How come you don't ask your dad stuff like this?"
"'Cause you're smarter than he is," Liam declared. "'Cause you're a policeman scientist so you've got a bigger brain pan."
Danny grinned.
"And 'cause Uncle Shelly isn't around to ask. He's smarter than everyone you know. Even the president. Even God."
"I wouldn't doubt it," Danny chuckled. "But how come you never ask me other stuff? How come your asking me about mom and dad stuff? Why can't you ask me about why the grass is green and the sky is blue?"
"I already know that," Liam informed him. "The sky is blue 'cause if it was green, we wouldn't know when to stop mowing."
Danny nearly buckled over from laughing so hard.
"Daddy told me that," Liam said proudly. "That's the smartest thing that daddy has ever said. Mommy says that his strengths lie elsewhere."
"She did, did she?" Danny howled, and managed to compose himself. "She's right you know. His strengths do lie elsewhere."
"Like where?" Liam asked curiously.
"Like…I don't know…" Danny contemplated his words. "I guess like being an amazing cop that people respect and go to when they need help. For being a great friend that always has your back and never lets you down. For being a really good husband to your mommy. And for being a fantastic dad to all you kids."
Liam beamed brightly. "Daddy's a pretty awesome guy," he declared.
Danny smiled and nodded.
"He definitely is," he agreed.
Thanks to everyone that is reading and reviewing! And a thanks to all the lurkers too! Words can't express how humbled I am by the support that all of you have shown me and my stories! I am truly still shocked over the outcome of the awards and I could not possibly thank all of you enough!
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Special thanks to:
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