DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CSI:NY/CSI/CSI:MIAMI OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. I ALSO DO NOT OWN CARMEN. SHE BELONGS TO THE FABULOUS APHINA WHO, DESPITE OUR OCCASIONAL LAPSES IN CHATS AND SLIGHT DISAGREEMENTS, HAS BEEN A SOURCE OF TREMENDOUS SUPPORT OVER THE PAST YEAR AND A HALF OF WRITING. FRIENDSHIP DOESN'T STOP BECAUSE THE WRITING DOES. THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN A FICTIONAL WORLD.

HUGE HUGS GO OUT TO: CASS, MICHELLE, DONNA, RACHEL, HEIDI AND CHERYL, WHO HAVE KEPT ME SANE DURING THE PAST WEEK. THANKS GIRLS, FOR KEEPING MY HEAD ABOVE WATER AND HELPING ME THROUGH THE LOSS.

AND THANKS TO ALL OF MY WONDERFUL READERS WHO HELPED THIS STORY GET PASSED A THOUSAND REVIEWS ALREADY!

SEEING AS MY OB OG MUSE IS ON VACATION WITH MY DEAR FRIEND DORI (AFROZENHEART412) THE VFB MUSE HAS TAKEN HER PLACE!

ONE LAST THING: THERE'S TWO CHOICES FOR WHO WOULD 'PLAY' KIERAN. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK! BRIT ACTOR CHRISTIAN COOKE OR GOSSIP GIRL STAR, CHACE CRAWFORD!

Like old times

"Don't let 'em get where they're going to
You know they're only what they think of you
You heard of this emotional trickery
And you felt like you were learning the ropes
But where you're going now you don't know

And when the kids on the street say
What's your problem girl
And the weight of their smile's just
Too much for you to bear
When they all make you feel
Like you're a problem girl
Remember
You're no problem at all
You're no problem at all

Pride like promises can let you down
You thought that you'd be feeling
Better by now
You worry all the things they could do to you
You worry about the things they could say
Maybe you're seeing things the wrong way."
-Problem Girl, Rob Thomas

Carmen sighed heavily as she leaned back against the rear wall of the elevator as it made its slow ascent to the thirty-fifth floor. She despised working weekends. Long ago, before she became a wife and a mother, she was ready, willing and able to work whatever shift she was scheduled for. She excitedly accepted offers of overtime and never balked at the chance to stretch eight hours into a double or a triple. It was more the people around the lab that she had enjoyed, than the actual work itself. Years ago, when the 'original' team had been wandering the halls and fighting crime together in between good natured teasing and supporting each other through the trials and tribulations of their personal lives, the atmosphere around the lab had been…electric. Despite the blood and gore and injustice they witnessed day in and day out, the rapport between co-workers had been incredible. Everyone complimented each other well and backed one another no questions asked. And in the midst of working cases, there'd been a lot of light hearted moments. A lot of laughter and a lot of memories made.

Things had rapidly changed when the employee turn over began to take place. The familiar faces and the brilliant smiles and sense of family that accompanied them- had quickly disappeared. Sam had never been the same after her shooting. Her close brush with mortality had spooked her to the point she couldn't do the job effectively anymore. She was constantly on edge and suddenly less confidant in her skills. When Flack had narrowly escaped death -several times during his hospital stay- after his own shooting, Sam had used his survival and his brave struggle to recover as sort of catalyst when it came to her own work. If he could survive and he could -albeit slowly- recover, than she knew she could confidently carry on in the field. Months following his ordeal, when he'd been sent to the rehab facility and Sam had returned to work, everyone had expected the shooting to have a negative effect. On the contrary, her husband's shooting had only made Sam more determined and tenacious.

Her own however, had been the straw that broke the camel's back. And Sam had quickly realized that her fear and bad nerves were putting not only herself but her co-workers in danger. She didn't want to put that kind of stress on herself, or her family. Taking the job with DHS had been, in Sam's own words, 'a move of self preservation'. She could no longer remain in the NYPD and risk destroying her husband and kids if anything happened to her.

It had broken Carmen's heart when Sam had left the lab. Although they lived in close proximity to each other and saw one another on a near daily basis outside of work, not seeing her best friend in the halls or being able to grab lunch or dinner together, or working a case side by side, had hit Carmen hard. And so had begun a period of mourning that still lingered seven years later.

Stella, Mac and Hawkes leaving for greener pastures had also been bitter pills to swallow. Although Carmen completely understood Stella's desire to stay home and concentrate on her family, and Hawkes' sheer boredom with the job. He just hadn't been 'into' it anymore. He had no longer enjoyed being there and knew it was time to go. The teaching gig at Columbia had been perfect for him to rejuvenate himself. He loved it at the university and was adored and well respected by not only his students, but fellow profs. Mac in turn, had slipped confidently and easily into his role as NYPD Commissioner. The man who always swore he hated politics, had transformed the department.

And while Tim, with Danny as his right hand man, was doing a hell of a job manning the lab. And while Carmen would support him and his decisions no matter what and was immensely proud of him, things just weren't the same around there. She couldn't stand any of the new CSIs. They walked around the place as if they owned it. Especially the guys, who truly thought they were God's gift to every woman on the planet. The newcomers were nothing more than spoiled rotten little brats who thought they were better than the 'grey squad' as Danny called himself, Carmen, Speed and Adam. And he'd none to gently told them several times to spot telling the vets how to do their job and to simply step back and marvel in the brilliance that the old timers still produced in the field.

The short of it all, was that getting up in the morning and going to work was something Carmen loathed.

And now this, she thought, as her eyes surveyed the front page of the Times clasped tightly in her left hand. A breath of fresh air and a much needed escape from the bullshit of the lab had turned into a run for a coffee and a newspaper. And she know felt tears of both rage and grief brimming in her eyes as three coloured pictures of the slain officers stared up at her. Each photo had been taking following their respective graduations from the academy years before, and the young men smiling up at her were brimming with pride and looked so polished in their dress uniforms. They were so full of hope and promise after taking the oath to protect and to serve. At all costs. They'd accepted the dangerous that came with the job and knew that perhaps they'd one day have to make the ultimate sacrifice. And their untimely, tragic deaths had rocked the entire city. The citizens of New York City were horrified and saddened, and had flooded precincts with cards of condolences and were filling up My Space pages, Twitter accounts and blogs with messages of support for every 'boy in blue'. As well as the families of not only the fallen officers, but those of the men and women who put their lives on the line each and every day.

Carmen knew the new found respect and love for the NYPD wouldn't last long. When something bad happened, the public rallied around the department and expressed their sympathy and support. But it was always fleeting. Within a week, if that, something unsavoury would happen and everyone and their aunt would be slamming the NYPD once again. Someone would screw up and all the talk would be about how the department was stocked to the rafters with Neanderthals. Accusations of police harassment and racism were common. And within a blink of an eye, the city would go from mourning to going for the jugular.

She made a mental note to stop by Hawkes' house after her shift to check on Angell. She knew how close Jess was to her youngest brother. They'd shared a bond that was impenetrable. Rivalled only by the one that Sam and Adam had developed with each other when they were little kids relying on one another to help each other survive the torment their father rained down on them day after day. If anything ever happened to Adam, Carmen knew full well that Sam would be devastated. Adam had always been her best friend and confidant. Their relationship far surpassed a traditional brother and sister. They were each others protectors and secret keepers. The one person that the other had always been able to trust. To give it to them straight if the situation required. To drop everything they were doing and go running if the other needed them. Carmen had witnessed first hand the terror and worry that had nearly rendered Adam incapable of all thought, action and speech when Sam had been shot. But she'd also seen how mature and composed he could be in the face of adversity. When he'd stepped up to the plate after Flack had been so ill to be the rock that Sam had so desperately needed.

Carmen simply could not bear to think about how the Ross siblings would be affected if anything happened to either of them. She'd never gotten over the death of her older brother, Elliot. A firefighter back in their hometown of Portland, Oregon. His untimely and tragic demise -the roof of a burning building had collapsed on him while attempting to rescue someone trapped inside- had made national headlines. And had torn their family apart. Carmen hadn't been a detective for very long, and when it had been discovered that the fire had been set by teenagers as part of a sick dare, she'd managed to track down the young woman responsible for it. Until evidence had proved that it was an accident. A simple twist of fate. Her father and mother had never forgiven her, as they viewed it, letting the bitch get away. They had wanted justice for Elliot. But their version of righting a wrong was one Carmen could not get herself mixed up in. And from that moment on, when she'd refused to not arrest the girl or even kill her, her parents had all but written her out of their lives.

Two decades had past since Elliot had died. And there were moments that Carmen still grieved as if it were just yesterday. The death of Angell's brother had hit home in a way she'd never expected. From the moment Tim had called home the evening before to say what had happened, she'd been flooded with memories of her beloved older brother. Welcome thoughts. For once concentrating on the life Elliot had lived and not the way he'd gone out. Reminiscing on the fun times they'd had growing up. The laughs they'd shared. Even the tears. And she'd gone to bed that night crying into her pillow and dreadfully missing what could have been. Of what her brother could have done with his life. Would he have had a wife? Children of his own? What would he have thought of Tim and his nieces? Would their families have been close?

So many questions, but never any answers.

What if's were dangerous. Carmen had learned that a long time ago. They were capable of destroying you if you dwelt on them for too long. And for years, she'd managed to put on a brave face and go on, successfully, with both her professional and personal life.

But the piece of her heart that had crumbled the moment her brother had died would never be whole again.

Enough, Carmen scolded herself, and briefly closing her eyes in an effort to maintain her composure, folded the newspaper in two and stuffed into the already cluttered satchel style purse dangling from her left arm. You've been dealing with this for years. Successfully. You're just letting your emotions rule your head. Push that all aside and concentrate on what you have right in front of you. The living, breathing people that matter most to you.

Just breathe.

The elevator chime sounded, signalling that it had reached its destination, and inhaling deeply, Carmen released it slowly and mentally prepared herself for the hustle and bustle that she knew lay beyond the elevator doors.

And it was when they did open, when she got a bird's eye view of the craziness of life on the thirty-fifth, that she made the quickest and easiest decision of her life.

It's time to go.

Her first stop was the corner office with the killer view of Manhattan. Since Danny had been promoted to second and command and he'd vacated his half of the spacious room, Carmen had been living a peaceful, solo existence in her own little slice of paradise. When the new recruits began arriving, she'd firmly put her foot down and defended her space. Efficiently and successfully playing the seniority card and assuring herself that no one was going to be underfoot annoying the hell out of her constantly with incessant questions or inane bragging about skills they neither possessed or had yet to begin to discover. She had no desire to serve as a mentor or become a friend. All passion for the job had long ago abandoned her, and she'd fought off the urge to quit many a time for purely foolish reasons. Because long ago she'd always promised herself that she'd never lose her identity. That even if she did venture into marriage for a second time and did ever become a mother, that she wouldn't be defined solely by those lifestyle choices. Being a part of the lab had been a way of keeping a firm grip on her independence. Of being known as Carmen and not Speed's wife or Addie and Sophia's mother.

And now…well now she was ready for an evolution. From CSI to nothing more than Speed's wife and Addie and Sophia's mother.

Her first matter of business, as she approached her office, was to sit down at her desk, finish her café au lait and check all of voice messages and emails she may have received while out. The second thing she planned to do, was put together a letter of resignation. Despite being married to the head of the lab, she still needed to handle things professionally. A simple, 'Honey, I quit' from across the dinner table just wouldn't cut it. She would deal with it as if Tim was just a boss and there were no personal feelings of history involved. Then she'd calmly deliver it to his office and place it on his desk and leave. And then prepare herself for the fall out when he got home sometime in the evening. Her decision to quit could honestly go one of two ways. He'd either love the idea of her spending more time at home now that their girls were both in their teens, or he'd be pissed off that she was leaving him short handed staff wise.

Not my problem, Carmen thought as she reached into the pocket of her khaki coloured linen pants for the keys to her office, a frown covering her face when she noticed that the door she knew for a fact she'd locked when she'd left forty five minutes before, was wide open and held that way by a trash can placed in front of it. She approached cautiously, first noticing the bronze coloured hobo style purse sitting on the floor next to the two seat leather couch alongside of the wall next to the door. Her eyes then taking in the left black flip flop dangling from tips of watermelon pink toe nails and the familiar tattoo of a lady bug that graced the instep of the right foot.

That was all the identification that Carmen needed, and a smile replaced the frown as she stepped into her office. Despite the tension that lingered between the two families since Speed's unfortunate comments during Kieran's disappearance and Carmen's devotion and desire to protect her husband at all costs, there was a bond that existed between her and Sam that could never be severed. A mutual respect and an understanding that no matter how many times they fought and wandered away from each other, they could always turn to each other for support. That despite differences of opinion and the problems that existed between their husbands, they could always count on one another to supply a shoulder to cry on or much needed advice.

"This is a pleasant surprise," Carmen greeted as she breezed into her office.

Sam held up her left hand, a Visa card perched between her middle and forefinger. "Works every time," she said.

"You can take the girl out of Brooklyn but not the Brooklyn out of the girl," Carmen grinned. "I would have thought once you hit forty-five a couple years back your B and E days would have been long behind you."

"Well I have to have some excitement somewhere," Sam told her. "I figured you wouldn't mind if I just let myself in. Trust me, I'm not here to rob you."

"I don't mind. In fact, I was just thinking about you earlier," Carmen walked to her desk and dropped her purse on top of it. "I was going to give you a call tonight and see if maybe Don wouldn't mind if I stole you next weekend. Drive down to Cape Cod and stay a little bed and breakfast. Have a girls weekend, just the two of us."

"Sounds good…I doubt he'd mind…especially seeing as we're locking that place down like Fort Knox."

"Lovely…what has my godson done now?"

"Surprisingly enough, this time it wasn't Kieran. Although he's been less than angelic lately and I am this close..." Sam held her thumb and forefinger a half an inch apart. "…to either sending him to a boot camp for asshole teenagers or killing him. Slaughtering him would actually be a hell of a lot easier I think. Not to mention cheaper."

"So which one of the girls has…" Carmen turned to face her friend, her eyes widening at the sight of Sam's tear streaked face. "Oh my God…what's wrong?" she hurried over to the couch and dropped to a knee in front of her best friend. "What the hell has Flack done now?" she inquired, as she held Sam's face in both of her hands and cleared tears away with her thumbs. "What kind of prick thing has he unleashed on you?"

"Nothing," Sam assured her, and sniffled noisily. "It wasn't Don. He's actually been a goddamn Saint lately. Which I know, is a miracle for him."

"Okay…so we've ruled out father and oldest son. It was Reghan, wasn't it? I knew that girl was going to be trouble sooner rather than later. She's too vivacious and pretty for her own good. I told Flack a long time ago that allowing her out into the general popular was not a good idea. That she was going to get herself into some serious trouble with the boys. What did she do? Get caught making out with someone? Sneak out of the house? Oh Christ…" Carmen gasped and laid a hand over her mouth. "She's not pregnant, is she?"

"What?" Sam couldn't help but laugh. "No. Reghan is not pregnant. And she wasn't caught with a boy or sneaking out of the house. I think she's too smart for all of that. Not to mention she's terrified of her father. It wasn't her. It was Alannah."

"The smart ass?" Carmen smirked. "What happened? She piss off the wrong person? Get herself bitch slapped?"

"I…" Sam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I hit her," she admitted, tears threatening once again.

Carmen blinked in surprise.

"And I never, ever hit my kids," Sam continued. "You know that. I have never once laid a hand on any of them even if they did deserve it. Don's always been the disciplinarian and I admit, he's smacked some of them on the ass once or twice when they got out of control, but we've never…"

"Take it easy, Sammie…" Carmen stroked her best friend's cheek softly. "Deep breaths."

"I just couldn't help it. She just…she just pissed me off so bad. She was running off at her mouth and I just snapped. I just snapped and I slapped her across the face. And I've never…I'm just not that kind of person! I'm not that kind of mother!"

"Which means it must have been something totally horrific that she said," Carmen concluded. "For you to get that upset."

Sam nodded. "Kieran caught her with a boy last night. In mine and Don's bedroom. K was keeping an eye on the rest of the kids while Don and I were both at the scene of the shooting and he found Alannah and this older boy from school doing…she was giving him oral sex, Carmen."

Carmen sighed and shook her head, disgusted by the revelation.

"She's thirteen! And I know that kids even younger than her are doing things like that. But she's my daughter! And I didn't raise my kids to be like that! I've tried to teach them to be good people! To respect everyone. To respect themselves! And she goes and does that with someone!"

"What did Kieran do?"

"He kicked the kid out of the house. Threatened to kick the shit out of him. And then he told me about it when I got home later. So naturally, I confronted Alannah about it. And she goes off on me about how controlling I am! About how there's too many rules at home and how she's a big girl now and she can handle herself and that was she does is not my business or her father's business. And I informed her that as long as she was under eighteen and living under my roof, that she couldn't even take a piss or shit or scratch her ass or pick her nose without getting permission from me or her father to do it."

"I'm sure that went over well," Carmen snorted.

"And I told her that she was going to tell her father about what she'd done. That if she didn't do, he was going to find out through me or Kieran. And that if she knew what was good for her, she'd tell her dad first. That he'd respect her more and not be as pissed if she admitted it to him. She agreed to tell. And then this afternoon…" Sam shook her head. "…this afternoon she gets up in my face again about how I can't tell her what to do and she'll do what she wants, when she wants. And I don't remember what I said or what I did, but she throws this comment up in my face about how my father used me as his personal fuck toy when I was a kid."

Carmen pursed her lips together. "I will personally go to your house and kill her," she declared.

"She's thirteen and she's just…I can't take her anymore. She's out of control. She's doing shit like that and she's doing it in my house! And the way she talks to me and her father…what did I do wrong, Carmen? Where did I screw up so bad that my kids are like this?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Sammie. She's just…"

"I mean, we've always had rules and regulations. Firm ones. And up until about six months ago, she was fine. She was happy and outgoing and doing well in school and she helped out around the house and was respectful to me and Don. And now? Now she's an evil little fucker!"

"She's probably just going through a stage," Carmen told her, clearing the tears off of Sam's cheeks once again. "She's probably just going through some crazy ass shit at school. I mean, look at Addie. For the longest time she was the perfect child. Sweet, considerate, responsible. And now? Ever since she broke up with Kieran she's been like completely wild. We can't keep her inside the house it seems. And save for chaining her up in the basement, which believe me, Tim is considering, we are at our wits end."

"Jesus…what is wrong with our kids?" Sam buried her face in her hands and shook her head. "What is going on with them? This is all K's fault you know. Addie. The way she is. It's all because of him."

"Hey…I know he's not the most angelic boy around and that he's been making some pretty stupid decisions lately…"

"Stupid decisions!" Sam wailed, and removing her face from her hands, fixed her tortured golden brown eyes on her best friend. "He's acting like a total asshole! He's messed up! Totally messed up! And I don't know what to do with him anymore! He's just…Jesus Christ he's just like his father!"

"Well I wouldn't go that far," Carmen teased, and rising to her feet, took a seat alongside of her best friend.

"He is!" the petite brunette cried. "He's just like him! From head to toe! Inside and out! Every single inch of that kid is just like Don! And I just…I am so sorry for that! For what he did to Addie! I'm so sorry he's such a manwhore!"

Carmen couldn't help but laugh at that. "I don't think he's that bad," she said.

"He is!" Sam exclaimed. "Kieran is! He's bad, Carmen. He's plain evil. When it comes to girls…that kid just can't help himself. He's fifteen and he's probably had sex more times than I have in my entire life. I mean, he says it's only been two people, but I damn well know he's lying. I mean, Don had to go out and make sure the kid had a stock pile of condoms. Last thing we need is our fifteen year old son knocking someone up."

"Sammie, Kieran's a really, really good looking kid. He's tall, dark and handsome. Not to mention incredibly charming. And I know he's really popular with the girls. Of all ages. But…I don't know…something tells me he's telling the truth. I don't see him being the type to take advantage of that popularity, you know what I mean? He's a smart kid. He's sensible. And I don't see him being the type that bangs everything that walks with a wiggle."

"God…" Sam groaned in exasperation and leaned back against the rear of the couch. "…I don't know what happened to him! Where did my baby go? Where'd did that little boy with light up Diego shoes who loved to spin around in circles until he was fall down dizzy go? The little boy who used to love to snuggle with his mommy and sleep with his Caillou doll?"

"He became a young man whose over six feet and two hundred pounds," Carmen told her. "Who may not be the sharpest tool in the shed sometimes, but who knows right from wrong and respects and loves himself. And who respects and loves his mommy."

Sam sighed heavily and ran her hands over her face.

"Kieran is an amazing kid," Carmen said. "And I know he's struggling right now. I know he's got some issues that need looking at. With his anger and all of that. But he's a good boy, Sam. You and Don have done a great job with him. And things could have gone way down hill when he was little. After Jack Doyle did what he did. But as a family you guys got help and you made sure that Kieran didn't suffer any long term emotional effects. And as far as fifteen year old boys go? Shit, he could be doing so much worse."

Sam nodded in agreement.

"You need to stop blaming yourself for every fuck up he has. That any of your kids have. They're going to screw up. They're going to do dumb ass things, Sammie. You can't stop that. So instead of being so quick to blame yourself and ask what you did wrong, take a look at them and realize that things could always be worse and commend yourself for everything that you did right."

Sam stared long and hard at the woman sitting beside her. "Wow…you really need to quit your day job and become a motivational speaker or something."

"I watch a lot of Doctor Phil," Carmen laughed.

"Yeah? Well I'm still a Maury girl," Sam giggled. "Through and through. And Alannah would be perfect for one of those out of control teenage daughter shows. And Kieran…" she sighed. "..God I hope one day he doesn't get a call to go on there for some DNA test. My luck there'd be half a dozen girls claiming he fathered their babies."

"I think we totally underestimate that kid," Carmen said. "Or are we overestimating him?"

"Trust me, he's a girl magnet. And even sometimes, a guy magnet. A friend of his apparently came onto him. He told me last night. Hasn't told his father yet. And something tells me he probably won't."

"Might be best to keep that kind of information from Flack," Carmen suggested. "And let me take a stab at who this friend might have been. Aiden Messer?"

Sam looked over at her, an eyebrow. "How'd you…"

"I've suspected for a while," she said. "I don't know why. I just…I just used to notice the way that he'd check Kieran out when we were all together. And I always thought that there was more to it than just a best friend type of thing. Not that I think that way about Kieran…"

"Aiden came to me a little while ago and told me," Sam admitted. "He said that he didn't know who else he could go to with it. That he was afraid to tell his parents. And that he was terrified to tell Uncle Don."

Carmen just nodded in understanding.

"It doesn't change how I feel about him." Sam continued. "I mean, I love that kid like he's my own. And honestly? I wasn't entirely surprised to hear it. I think I was more surprised to hear that he'd tried something with Kieran. Who's about as alpha-male as his father."

"Well, like I said. Kieran's a good looking kid. Aiden can't help himself I guess. I mean if I was a teenage girl, I'd definitely hook up with K."

"Speaking of hooking up…did you happen to hear about what Daria Maxwell did to my son? When he was barely thirteen?"

Carmen shook her head.

"She was seventeen and decided it was a good idea to seduce him."

Carmen's eyes widened.

"I am not joking. And trust me, I wish I was. Kieran came clean to us about it. I guess he's got a little bit of a guilty conscience that he lost his virginity so young. But Daria? Not a remorseful bone in that girl's body. She doesn't think she did anything wrong. And judging by what Don told me about the talk he'd had with Max? She doesn't seem to think her daughter screwed up either."

"Well the apple doesn't far fall from the tree, right?" Carmen mused. "I mean, if the mother is the nutter that we know she is, should we really be surprised that the daughter is just like her?"

"Max isn't that bad," Sam said, then laughed when she noticed her best friend staring at her pointedly. "Okay…so she used to be the proverbial thorn in my side. But I don't know…she hasn't been so bad since she married Rick."

"True…but I think that's his love for the bottle and his heavy fists keeping her in line," Carmen commented.

"You think he smacks her around? I mean, I know he's always had a problem with booze. When Don and I were in therapy when I was having K, Rick was his sponsor for AA. It surprised us when he fell off the wagon. But I don't see him as the type to beat on women."

"It's just talk, Sammie. You know how word travels around here. I've just heard a few things about him. Probably just rumours. Or at least I hope they're just rumours. No woman deserves to be used as a human punching bag."

"Zack," Sam coughed noisily to disguise the name. "Matthew," she coughed once more.

Carmen couldn't help but laugh. "God…" she leaned her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. "Did we ever pick some real fuckers back in the day."

"No kidding," Sam snorted, and closed her eyes as well. "When we were young and stupid."

"Yeah…compared to now…now we're just…

"Stupid," both women said in unison. Then burst out laughing.

"You know," Sam mused, her hands slowly rubbing over her small baby bump. "I may bitch a lot about Don. Complain about how controlling and possessive he can be. But compared to Zack? Compared to Zack he's a Saint."

"Compared to Matthew, Tim's God himself," Carmen said.

"Jesus," Sam giggled. "Please don't ever tell him that. You'll give him a complex."

"Like he doesn't already have one? I can't believe how he acted when Kieran dumped Addie. There was no reason for him to go off like he did."

Sam shrugged. "She's his daughter. No daddy wants to see their baby get her heartbroken."

"He had no right going that nuts about it. Going to your house to confront the kid. Then getting into it with you. He had no right at all. And seriously? Our kids are fourteen and fifteen. And as moms, we both know that Kieran and Addie weren't going to be a long term thing. They weren't each others one true love and they definitely weren't going to be together forever and live happily ever after."

"Does anyone ever live happily ever after?" Sam wondered aloud. "I mean, it's one thing to be madly and crazily in love. I adore Don with every fibre of my being. He's the love of my life. My everything. But I can't sit here and say we're living happily ever after. In the true sense."

"True…I'd say we're are living happily ever…" Carmen considered her options. "Mediocrity."

Sam laughed at that. "Yeah…in our house it's definitely that. I tolerate him ninety percent of the time and I could slaughter him ten percent of the time."

"And you love him a hundred percent of the time," Carmen said.

Sam cracked an eye open and grinned. "You just had to ruin the moment by going all corny, Hallmark card on me, didn't you."

"Sorry…" her best friend giggled and made a zippering motion over her lips. "You're in a mood to bitch about Flack and I'm too busy reminding you how he's the best thing to ever happen to you. I'll stop."

"Thank you," Sam said and sighed. "And you're right," she admitted after a couple of moments of silence. "Donnie is the best thing that ever happened to me. But don't you are ever tell him I said that. His ego is big enough."

"Among other things," Carmen chided.

Sam snorted. "Don't even get me started on his…service weapon…okay? I swear, anything ever happens to him, I'm cutting it off and putting it in a jar of formaldehyde and sitting it on my night stand for posterity."

"That is so disturbing!" Carmen roared with laugher. "And so sick and twisted and so…so…so…you!"

"Trust me, I am not above it," Sam joked.

"There is something seriously wrong with you," Carmen declared, and opening her eyes, looked over at her friend. "In fact I…" her words trickled off as her eyes fell on that noticeable bump protruding from underneath Sam's red t-shirt. "Umm…excuse me?" she asked, and poked at her friend's belly with her index finger. "What's going on here?"

Sam blushed slightly.

"Do I need to be calling you Mary now?" Carmen asked.

The brunette looked at her, perplexed.

"You know…as in this is a modern day immaculate conception."

"There's nothing immaculate about it. Good old fashioned, passionate sex with the hottest guy in the world got me into this predicament."

"When did you have sex with Christiano Ronaldo?"

"It was Sidney Crosby actually," Sam corrected. "Last night actually. Twice. Best goddamn dream I've had in years let me tell you."

"You'd destroy Sid the Kid," Carmen declared. "I know he's in his thirties now, still single and most likely gay, but you would mess that poor boy up so bad."

"I so would," Sam laughed. "But seriously?" she stroked her tummy. "This is a bit of a shock."

"A bit?" her friend asked.

"Okay…so a huge shock considering…"

"You had your tubes tied seven years ago?" Carmen finished.

Sam nodded. "What can I say? Don and I never do things normally. Nothing is ever black or white with us. And my body…well my body went crazy on me and the scar tissue either unravelled the knot in my tube or formed another tube all in itself and then…well…BOOM."

"Someone say my favourite word?" Danny asked, as his his head suddenly poked through the door. "Hey, B!" he greeted his best friend's wife. "What are you….?"

"Get out!" Carmen bellowed.

"I was just…" Danny attempted to speak.

"You were just nothing!" she roared. "Girls only! Out!"

"But I need to…"

"Out, Messer! If you value you canolli!"

"But I…"

Carmen made to get up, sending Danny fleeing from the doorway and out into the hall, the case folder in his hands placed in front of the most sensitive piece of his anatomy.

"Men!" she huffed and returned to the couch. "Say…" she reached out and tousled Sam's hair. "You have to be home anytime soon?"

Sam shook her head. "What do you have in mind?" she asked. "Renting a hotel room and violating me?"

"Been there, done that," Carmen replied.

Sam flushed a brilliant shade of crimson.

"As great of a kisser as you are, Tinks, I was thinking of chocolate milk and pink sprinkle donuts."

The petite brunette smiled brightly. "You're speaking my language," she declared, and got to her feet. "You know…" her tone mellowed as they headed for the door. "Even though Linds and I got really close, I never…I never replaced you, Carmen. Not once. And I…" she sighed, then reached out and pulled the other woman into a tight embrace. "I've really, really, really missed you."

"I missed you, too," the CSI whispered, returning the hug fiercely. "And you know what?"

Sam shook her head and pulled back to look at her.

"I never replaced you either," Carmen told her.

A huge thanks to all of those reading and reviewing, and just plain lurking! I appreciate all the support! And head over to the forums and check out the Rules of Good Conduct for the CSI:NY board. The level of hate is appalling lately. It's gone far beyond flames and stretched into personal attacks. And that is just not cool.

Special thanks to:

CSINYMinute

Axellia

Hope4sall

Madison Bellows

Soccer-bitch

Forest Angel

ParaCaerOuVoar

Hardylover 7477

26Hannah26

wolfeylady

Monoxide lullaby

xSamiliciousx

New-york-babeee