Disclaimer: I don't own anything form the Divergent world.
Chapter 4:
"You are free to choose,
but you are not free
from the consequence of
your choice"
- a universal paradox
My eyes widened in panic the moment my blood touched the Dauntless coals. Shock had all but deafened me to the thunderous applause and feet stomping coming from the horde of black. My new faction. Had I really just transferred?
After another moment, the Amity man reached over and took the ceremonial knife from me. His eyes told me 'you made your choice, now you have to live with it'. So I robotically turned around, my feet carrying me to the left where the sea of leather was seated, instead of the right where my family remained.
When I finally sat down on the edge of my chair, I was enthusiastically pat on the back, the motions almost jerking me off my seat. My light blue clothing stood out against the rest of their stark darkness. I looked like a fish out of water, a little blue fish surrounded by a group of sharks. And that is when I realized that I was only the second person to transfer to Dauntless- the first was a boy from Candor whose black suit nearly blended in.
I couldn't really describe the rest of the ceremony. I knew more people had joined Dauntless because of the continuous jovial hollering and seats filling up beside me, but I was numb to the chaos. I couldn't believe that I was sitting here…
I didn't dare look at the Erudite section, not wanting to face the shock and disappointment of my parents. How could I belong in Dauntless when I was not even brave enough to face the disapproval residing on the faces of the people who were supposed to love me the most? But it didn't matter now, once you made your choice, there was no going back.
When the ceremony concluded, the Dauntless rose to their feet, I scrambled to mine after a brief delay. And I couldn't help myself- my eyes slid over to the crowd of blue. I winced as I absorbed my mother's anger and my father's confusion. But when my gaze shifted past them to one face in particular, I felt a piece of me crumble. Alexander. He was staring at me with pleading confusion, emotions completely unmasked. I could almost feel his sorrow from across the room, and I could definitely feel the question of 'why' in his eyes.
I mouthed a quick 'I'm sorry,' before a rough hand grabbed my shoulder and growled, "Come on grunt, first part of initiation starts now."
I turned to the door, and saw the last black clad figure jog out of it. It didn't take much energy to run forward and quickly catch up with them, yet my heart was thundering in my chest. I never realistically thought I would join Dauntless, so I never even considered what their initiation would be like. I knew that they valued strength and bravery above other attributes, so tests would probably involve the body more than the mind. That made me understandably nervous.
I followed the pack of Dauntless as they fled down the stairs, my fellow transfers running with wild, confused eyes. I wasn't too surprised that we were running, not only was it a physical activity, but I hadn't seen any of the Dauntless take the elevator this morning. Some of the other initiates hadn't seemed to come to that conclusion though, as they were trying to question each other between breaths. I could have answered them, but my mind was split- half of it thinking about what I had just left behind, the other half considering what was to come.
When we burst through the doors I had to squint my eyes at the bright sunlight. My feet slowed for a moment to adjust, but when their feet hit the dirt, the Dauntless picked up the pace of their running. I too had to pick up speed, and immediately regretted that my mother had picked out a form fitting pencil skirt for me to wear, as it restricted my movement. But still, I sped up, my legs pumping in familiar movement as I ran through the pack until I was swarmed by black. I knew where we were going- the train tracks. But I didn't know where they would take me. I didn't know where any of this would take me.
But I let my mind zone out for the moment and just enjoyed the freedom of the wind whipping through my hair, and the air whooshing through my lungs. I spotted some blissful grins on foreign faces and knew I wasn't the only one, even if my face did not register the emotion quite as openly as theirs did. It didn't take long to make it to the tracks- they ran all throughout the city. But the problem was these particular tracks were resting about thirty meters above ground. I stopped and watched as fully- fledged members of Dauntless, as well as the Dauntless born started climbing up the supports, using rusty metal pegs.
As I was waiting my turn for a peg, I once again cursed my mother for putting me in a skirt- I didn't particularly care to flash anyone in my new faction my panties. I looked down at the skirt and noticed a fraying thread. If I pulled the threat, I could create a slit in it, which would make running and climbing a lot easier. Not to mention the other physical activities we would undoubtedly be doing. So I grabbed the frayed part of my skirt and ripped. I could hear a couple shocked gasps from behind me, and one wolf whistle, but I paid no mind.
A almost cathartic like feeling filled me, until someone knocked me forward saying, "Hurry up, its your turn!'
I quickly moved forward and grasped a peg, the harsh metal biting into the skin of my palms. I almost wished that I were a little bit taller so I could use my leg muscles to hoist me up to the next rungs, instead of my practically non-existent arm ones. But not reaching the top was not an option. So I hauled my way up, sweat dripping into my eyes.
When I reached the top, I noticed that my slit had ripped more with the climbing and showed an almost scandalous amount of my pale leg. Well scandalous by Erudite standards, but gazing around at the other initiates, I noticed a Dauntless born girl in a barely-there crop top, so I doubted anyone paid me any mind.
I tried to shake the jumble of my thoughts when I heard the grating metal against metal that signaled an incoming train. A part of me wanted to look over the edge and see if there were more people that still had to climb up to the platform, but I would never be confused for an Abnegation, so I didn't worry about the people at the bottom. The other part of me was more focused on how to get on the train when it clearly wasn't stopping. As the train barreled forward, I saw some of the full Dauntless members and running forward, jumping on and opening doors. I didn't need to watch the Dauntless born to know what to do this time.
I started to run my mind focused on the door that would lead me into the train car. As I finally got into the correct position to jump, I let go of any fleeting thoughts of failure. This was my body, and I would not let it fail me. And as I forcefully flung myself into the train- car, I felt my heart soar with exhilaration. A dark hand reached out and steadied me. The hand was connected to a tall girl whose origin hinted at Native American, with her bronzed skin, long naturally pin-straight hair, and big dark eyes. She was dressed in a black pants suit and white blouse- a Candor transfer.
I quirked my lips into a smile, "Thanks."
The girl tilted her head at me for a moment before returning my grin, "No problem. I'm Justice Oake."
"Lyra James."
Justice smirked, showcasing bright pearly whites, with one canine endearingly crooked. "Love the restyling you did," she said, nodding to my skirt.
I shrugged, "It was restricting my movements, and I knew that we will probably have more physical activities. It ripped a bit more than I anticipated."
Justice snorted, but when another Candor transfer pointed out the open doors at the view of the city with an awed 'wow' escaping his mouth, we both abandoned our short conversation to take in the sight.
It was a view beyond many of the decrepit city buildings. It was tall grass, blue sky and untouched. It was natural and I loved it. But the tall fence that surrounded it was a reminder that it wasn't quite safe. And maybe that was why I belonged in Dauntless, because I loved the danger of it just as much as I loved the beauty.
As much as the train ride fascinated me, I couldn't wait for it to be over. The adrenalin had faded from my bloodstream, and stiffness had settled in my bones from the lack of sufficient seating. My feet were killing me too, as I had worked the flats to their maximum usage. But I kept my complaints to myself. None of the other initiates in were talking either. It seemed as if we were all too lost in thought.
"Get ready to jump!" A booming voice hollered.
I pulled myself to my feet, my leg muscles feeling wobbly. But when I poked my head out of the door and saw people jumping off the moving train and onto a gravel roof that was about ten feet away from the tracks, I shook the soreness out of my mind. My heart started pumping with anticipation. I looked over to Justice, and when she noticed my gaze, she smirked before launching herself out of the train-car. With her mile-long legs she made it look easy.
I backed up a little, and leapt out, throwing my entire weight forward like the long-jumpers I had studied about. It was a good thing I jumped when I did because I was running out of roof. My landing was rough though, with gravel pinching into the skin of my bare legs. I was only glad that I didn't put out my wrists to stop my fall, or else they would undoubtedly be broken.
I hastily got to me feet though and brushed off my skirt, ignoring the sluggish trickle of blood descending down one knee. I did not want to appear weak to these people.
"How many?" A man standing near me asked.
"Forty-five chose Dauntless, forty-one got on the train, and thirty- four got off of it," a woman with shocking purple hair answered.
Shock hit my system as I heard those words. Already eleven people were factionless. A fate I never wanted to share.
"Listen up initiates," A tall black man, clad in dark leather and standing on the ledge of the building said. "My name is Max," he continued when he had everyone's attention, "and I am one of the five leaders of Dauntless. While you are here you will be pushed to your physical and mental limits. We prepare you in the harshest ways possible and we only accept the best. Our job in the city is dangerous and important, if you don't think you can handle that, you can find your way to the faction less sector now." Nobody moved an inch and Max smirked, "That's what I thought. Behind me," he gestured to the air, "lays the entrance to the Dauntless compound. You want in, you jump."
A quiet muttering broke out among the initiates. There must be some other way in and out of the Dauntless Headquarters, or else the Dauntless born wouldn't appear so shocked.
"But that's suicide," a fellow Erudite transfer protested, and I snorted. He must have had to transfer because with that thick head he would have never lasted in Erudite. Dauntless wouldn't lead all of their initiates up to a tall building to commit mass suicide.
Max stared the transfer boy down, until his protests died. Everyone still shuffled restlessly on their feet though. "Any other protests?" Max called, "No, then who will be the first to jump?"
I looked nervously around, expecting one of the Dauntless born to immediately step forward, displaying their bravery, putting an action to their pride. But no one did. It was silent for a long drawn out moment, and Max's lips curled into a sneer.
"I will," Justice said confidently walking forward.
When she stepped on the ledge another Candor transfer yelled, "Can't wait to hear your body hit the pavement J!"
I moved closer to the ledge and looked down. It was too far and too dark to see if there even was pavement at the bottom.
Justice rolled her eyes before giving the boy the one- fingered salute and leaping off the edge. My head jerked over the edge again to follow her descent, but she was already swallowed by the darkness. The entire group of us had sucked in a breath and remained completely silent for a moment. When no sounds of bones crunching or people screaming reached our ears everyone let out a collective sigh of relief.
Before I could even blink the Dauntless born were lining up at the ledge. One by one they all started dropping off the rooftop. Something told me that their pride had already been damaged that a transfer was the first one to display bravery in the face of the unknown. While they were all jumping I took the time to consider just what was waiting at the bottom. It couldn't have been water because at this height it would still feel like hitting concrete. And since we were not given any type of harness that ruled out any time of parachute option. So that only left some kind inflatable mat.
When the Dauntless born had all jumped, the Candor boy who had jeered at Justice was the first one to step up and jump. I didn't want to appear cowardly or apprehensive to my fellow initiates or my future leader, so I was a step behind him. But standing on the ledge with the wind whipping around my body, I felt a lot like Alice about to tumble down the rabbit hole.
I remembered that fleeting feeling of freedom as I jumped in my aptitude test. So with a deep inhale, I stepped off that ledge. The feeling of falling was vastly different in real life than in a simulation. The wind howled in my ears, and the air felt sharp and cold against my skin. My hands were desperately trying to hold my skirt from flying above my hips, but I was distracted by the feel of my stomach rising up into my throat. The impact of the net came suddenly; jeering my limbs in every direction and this time my skirt did fly up. My bouncing around on it like a fish out of water stopped though when a short woman with rather heavy eyeliner steadied the net and held out her hand.
"Name?" she questioned sounding completely bored.
"Lyra Ja-"
"Seventeenth jumper, LYRA!" the woman shouted as I hopped down from the net. She turned back around and took a good look at me, quirking her brow at my now wrinkled, ripped, and torn outfit. "Nice," she smirked.
I hurriedly walked over to where Justice was standing.
"Pretty intense morning," she said.
I grinned, "Did you expect anything less?"
Justice laughed, and we both turn as another initiate hits the net screaming.
"An Amity transfer," Justice says, her brows rising to her hairline in disbelief.
I shared in her shock. Amity and Dauntless were the factions that had perhaps the most conflicting set of values. Amity the free loving peacekeepers, and Dauntless with their brash and confrontational nature often conflicted in principals. Erudite often liked to study the 'nature versus nurture debate'. But even with the faction system in place we had no definitive proof. Sure most people stayed in their home faction proving nurture, but those who transferred suggested that nature had more of an impact on their personality. But for an Amity who was raised to respect peace to transfer the faction that was known for their violence was extremely uncommon.
The girl bounced down from the net and we stood off to the side waiting to hear her name.
"Eighteenth jumper, FERN!" the same woman announced.
I watched as Fern straightened her long red dress and pulled her long dirty blonde braid out of her collar. Like Justice, Fern was tall, but her colouring was drastically different. She had contained the tanned skin that most Amity had from spending long hours outdoors on their farms, and striking gold eyes. I thought that she would approach Justice and I, seeing as we were the only girl transfers that had made it down, but instead she walked over to the other Candor boy.
Justice and traded looks. The girl hadn't exactly snubbed us, but she and the Candor boy had made no move to introduce themselves either.
"I'm guessing you know that boy who transferred from Candor?" I questioned.
Justice curled her lips in a grimace, "That's Ben. He was my next-door neighbor and a total ass."
I shouldn't have been surprised at her bluntness considering the faction she grew up in, but it still caught me off guard, and I chocked out a laugh.
As we stood watching more and more people fall into the net I took my time to look around. This place was so different than the openness of the Erudite compound that I wondered if I would ever feel at home here. The walls were a combination of rock and concrete and closed in around us, casting everything in shadow. I almost thought the dark and mysterious vibe they had going was a little cheesy, but I would never admit that out loud. There were several open pathways that careened outside of this vast room with the hole in the roof. And I had the distinct feeling that several more people were watching us from them, as I felt eyes on my form constantly.
The final jumper was another girl from Erudite who was sobbing slightly when she hit the net.
"You know her?" Justice questioned.
I studied the girl who practically clawed her way out of the net, "She looks familiar, but I don't remember her name."
Justice nodded staring at her, "Don't know how long she will last here."
I took in the girls red tear stained cheeks and unhappily nodded my agreement. Dauntless was not for the weak of heart or stomach, and I seriously doubted that jumping off a building would be the riskiest thing we would have to do.
"Initiates gather around," a stern male voice called.
Justice and I moved over the group.
"Dauntless born you will go with Lynn, transfers you stay with me," the man said.
My eyes watched for a minute as three quarters of the group melted into the darkness almost silently. It must be a skill taught from birth. I quickly drew my eyes back to the man. He was tall with short brown hair and deep- set eyes with indiscernible colour. He gave off the air of stern authority. The perfect model of Dauntless.
"Transfers, my name is Four. Normally I work in the control room, but for now I will be training you. Dauntless initiation covers three main stages- physical, emotional, and mental. You have to be successful at all three to become a full member."
I bit my lip in surprise. I knew logically that this faction was not made up entirely of dumb brutes, but I underestimated the value they placed on the mind.
"I will show you to your dormitory before you burn your old faction clothing and we head to dinner," Four said before abruptly turning on his feet and turning into one of the passageways.
We all quickly scrambled behind him. My tread- less flats did not manage very well against the uneven stone, and I stumbled into a male Candor transfer whose name I didn't know twice.
As we were walking Four was going over basic expectations, "Training begins at eight am every day. Lateness will never be excused or tolerated. Training finishes at six pm and afterwards you are free to do what you like. Dauntless economy works on a point system. If you are successful then your jobs after initiation will determine how many points you earn, but for now you will all get a standard number of points."
He veered sharply left and then opened a rickety door. When we followed him into the room I tried not to let the disgust show on my face. But I wasn't sure I was entirely successful. Growing up in a family with wealthy parents in Erudite, I was used to a certain higher standard of living. And these rusty cots with their lumpy mattresses and filthy floors was unsatisfactory.
"Not to your liking princess?" Ben the Candor transfer mockingly cooed at me.
I did not give him the satisfaction of responding to his juvenile barb, instead claiming a cot beside Justice. Despite the fact that I had only really had one real conversation with her, she seemed like an okay person.
"Change into your new clothes and meet me outside this door in three minutes," Four said before turning around and closing the door with a snap.
Everyone just awkwardly stood there for a moment exchanging looks before an Erudite transfer that I recognized as Henry smirked and said, "Alright ladies take it off."
The tension diffused for a moment and everyone laughed. I walked over to the small pile of clothing on my cot and rooted through it quickly. Tight black pants, tight black long sleeved shirt. I didn't feel the same self-consciousness I once felt about my body a year ago, but still, I didn't exactly like changing in front of strangers. Erudites may not be prudes and we do take pride in our bodies, but we were still extremely private with them. But I suppose I am not an Erudite anymore. So I quickly shed my ripped periwinkle blouse, and torn navy skirt and pulled my new black clothes on.
I sat on the bed and reluctantly pulled my flats back on, keeping my eyes on my shoes until the ruffling sounds of clothes being changed stopped.
As I stood to my feet and made my way out the door, a boy standing beside me said, "They suit you better."
I looked over at him. He was shorter than most males of sixteen, but bulky with muscles and thick auburn hair. Yet his kind smile set me at ease. "What does?"
He grinned, "The new clothing…not that the old ones didn't, but I like these better."
I tilted my head trying to determine whether or not he was flirting with me. His smile became strained with nerves, as he probably realized how his statement came off. "You must be from Candor," I finally said.
He nodded, "Guess I'm going to have to get used to not saying exactly what's on my mind. I'm Ian by the way."
"Lyra," I replied shaking his meaty hand.
Justice made her way to our sides, nodding at Ian with a smile that hinted at familiarity between the two. It was almost comical how the dark beauty towered over him.
Four appeared from seemingly out of nowhere and barked, "Lets go."
We once again followed him through the dark and rocky passage through Dauntless Headquarters. Four said he was taking us to the Dining Hall, but we had to make a quick stop first. We walked along a narrow passage until we made it to a cavern with a metal railing. The sound of rushing water filled my ears.
"Unless you are entertaining suicidal tendencies, you have no reason to find yourselves here. This is called the Chasm, and jumping from here results in certain death. It reminds us that while we are brave and take risks, we are not invincible." Four explained, as we all stared at the foaming water and jagged rocks below. To see water in such natural form mesmerized me, as I never quite forgot that feeling of wanting to swim in nature like the nymphs from poems. I reluctantly dragged my eyes and feet away as we moved again.
"We are heading down to the Pit now. This is the centre of life for Dauntless. And this is where you will burn the last ruminants of your old faction in the Dauntless flames," Four said.
"Dauntless flames?" the Erudite girl who was the last jumper questioned.
Four looked at her and she blushed vividly, her head looking down as if his eyes were going to shoot laser beams.
"In the center of the Pit we have a fire that never goes out. It is tended to everyday. And it is also where transfers burn their old clothing."
"What if we want to keep it?" Fern, the Amity questioned.
Four narrowed his eyes at her, "Sentimentality is not tolerated. You left your old faction for a reason. You're Dauntless now, that is if you make it."
Fern looked slightly taken aback, but narrowed her eyes at the challenge in his voice.
As we reached the Pit I studied my surroundings with interest. The Erudite Headquarters was a library because it represented their value in knowledge. It was peaceful with only the sounds of turning pages and scribbling pens. The Pit was its exact contrast, vibrant with sound and life. People where moving with stealthy grace to and from the many passageways carved into the walls. And at the center of it all was a large bonfire burning brightly. I idly wondered how they prevented it from smoking too badly.
"Form a line," Four ordered.
We did as we were told, and one by one moved forward tossing our clothes into the orange flames. I played with the pearl coloured button on my blouse and squeezed it quickly before tossing it and my troublesome skirt into the flames. After everyone had shed the last remnant from their old identity, we moved into the Dining Hall.
It was another cavernous space that was lighted by a glass ceiling. And it was filled with people of all ages. Children ducked between the tables squealing, while middle- aged parents with full- sleeved tattoos argued and laughed together. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. A chaotic room filled with people who had absolutely no social decorum. I felt my lips twitch into a smile.
Four led us to one long empty table, and plopped down. We all scrambled into spots and I had unfortunately ended up next to our gruff trainer. I sat stiffly, and when I noticed everyone else just digging into the food from the platters, I did so too, with slightly better manners. Years of etiquette would take a while to wear off.
Four smirked obviously noting my not so well hidden discomfort, "Don't worry, you don't have to be wary of me until tomorrow."
My response was a simple grimace, and I hid my reddened cheeks by taking a big gulp of my drink.
"So what is everyone's names, and where are they from," Justice bluntly asked. But I doubted anyone else heard her over the noise.
"I'm Ian and I'm from Candor," Ian said in a mock girly voice.
Justice offered him a flat look, "I already know who you are doofus, who is everyone else?"
I looked down the table and spotted three other Erudite transfers. The last jumper girl and two boys. I only knew one of their names. "The boy with the blonde hair at the end is Henry. I don't remember the other two name's though, and they were from Erudite."
"Their names are Patrick and Claire," Ian supplied through a mouth full of food.
"How do you know?" Justice practically demanded.
Ian shrugged, "They were in the same train car with me this morning."
"The Amity girl's name is Fern," Justice said, "and sitting next to her is Marina and Ben. They were in Candor too."
I looked at the trio. Even without her bright red dress Fern stood out. Her blonde hair was practically glowing in the dimness of the room. Marina who was sitting next to her was inordinately plain. She had non-descript features, nothing to make her stand out in a crowd. But in Dauntless that could be considered an attribute with stealth. My eyes did a quick survey of the room, taking in the vibrant hair colours and tattoos- plain didn't seem to have a place here though. And Ben on the other side of Fern was tall and lean. He had long dark hair, a hooked nose and small dark eyes.
"Not what you are accustomed to?" Four asked from beside me.
I was surprised that he was talking to me, as he didn't seem like the type to engage in meaningless chitchat. "Not at all."
And that is where our conversation ended. Four sipped his drink and Justice shot me an amused look. I shrugged not really knowing what to make of our mysterious trainer.
"Well I for one am glad that I got out of Candor. Being honest and having to say what is on your mind all the time is exhausting," Justice declared as we were finishing our meals.
"You not speaking your mind? Travesty," Ian teased.
I laughed as Justice playfully scowled. "Just wait until you here what I really think of you!"
Ian mock clutched his heart and cried out in pain. The cry came out at a much louder volume than it would have a moment before, because the hall had quieted down significantly. When I noticed all the others heads turned, I too looked around at what had caught their attention.
A blonde muscular man moved through the Dining Hall with deadly purpose. The people he passed fell silent and warily watched his approach. Our table too settled to a nervous stillness. I watched in almost fascinated awe, as the animalistic urge of fight or flight wrestled in everyone's subconscious as he drew nearer. Even I could feel my body's primal reaction to this man-he was a dangerous, he was a predator.
I felt Four straightened up from beside me, his instincts clearly settling on 'fight'. And to my surprise the dangerous man stopped right in front of our table, his grey blue eyes staring directly at Four. I watched as he crossed his arms, his biceps looked thicker than my waist.
"Max wants to meet with you after you are finished with the grunts," the man spat out, his voice guttural.
Four slowly nodded, his eyes dismissing the man. I could tell that he didn't want to be anywhere near the man, and I was in full agreement. This guy screamed danger.
But he too seemed to feel Four's displeasure at his presence and smirked. "So, are you going to introduce me to everyone?"
Four frowned, "You will meet them tomorrow Eric."
"At least tell me who the first jumper was."
I felt 'Eric's' eyes glance at me, before seemingly dismissing me as a possibility and sliding over to Ian who was sitting next to me.
Justice straightened her spine and turned around to face Eric as Four said, "Justice Oake was our first jumper."
Eric's double pierced eyebrow shot up, "I could hardly believe it when Lynn told me it was a transfer, but a girl too." He shook his head and I nearly scoffed aloud. But those menacing neck tattoos and thick arms reminded me that it would be stupid to piss this man off, even if he was misogynistic. And I did not want those cold eyes focused on me.
Eric studied Justice for a moment, his pierced mouth curled down, and I could see the hand on her drinking glass shake slightly, but was proud of my new friend for maintaining a stoic face. Eric didn't say anything else and abruptly strode away. Justice, and everyone else at our table let out a collective sigh of relief.
"Who was that?" I heard Marina ask.
"That was Eric," Four informed all of us, "he is one of the Dauntless leaders."
Many of the people looked shocked at this, but I didn't share that sentiment. Eric may be young, but from what I could see he was the embodiment of dangerous soldier.
When we all finished a dessert of chocolate cake, Four led us back to the dormitories, and I got the first look at the filthy bathrooms. I let out an internal sigh as I pulled my tight black pants off and traded them for black sleep shorts.
"You're Lyra right?" a voice from beside me questioned.
I turned my head and noticed that the other Erudite girl- Claire had claimed the bed on the other side of me. I nodded and offered her a small smile.
"I'm Claire, I think I was in a night class with you- Sociology 104 with Professor Ferraris?"
My smile had abruptly disappeared from my face, "Yes, I was in that class."
Claire smiled a little uneasily now, "Well, we best get some sleep. Never know what they have planned for us tomorrow."
I nodded in agreement, but as soon as my head hit my pillow, my mind took over. Alexander. It was understandable that I hadn't given him too much thought today, seeing how busy I was. And truthfully I didn't want to think of him or the guilt would suffocate me. But now in the darkness, surrounded by people but feeling alone, I could lose myself to the feelings churning inside me.
Shock- I never planned on switching factions, but I did. Pain- I never meant to hurt him or myself, but I was. Loss- I didn't know how I was going to move forward without him. He was such a staple in my life. He introduced me to so many things that I had become passionate about. He helped influence the part of me that was truly Dauntless. And I loved him. What if I never saw him again?
And it was with that final thought that the tears came silently rushing out. And the only thing I knew for sure was I certainly wasn't the only one in the room sobbing in the dark.
A/N: Hi everyone, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! We got our first look at Eric, and I'm excited to hear what you thought of it!
A lot of you mentioned that you hope I keep everyone in character for the story and I definitely plan to! Eric is not going to be a gentle poetry reading leading man- lets face it he is a total douche.
Please Please Review and let me know what you think!
: ) Nyx