living corpse Chapter 10: skin and bones, a bleach fanfic

Red like the dying sun. Red like rebirth.

Red like anger; love; passion.

Her long locks of raven black hair… are gone, replaced by a shimmer of a phoenix, a flurry of feathers that float past her shoulders and brush the tips of her ears.

Kurosaki Karin is impulsive, if nothing else.

This he knows from the sparkle of her eye, the dimple in her cheek and the corner of her smile. It seeps through the rhythm of her footsteps, the slant of her neck and the lazy sway of her hips.

He knows her, inside and out.

No.

He doesn't.

Not anymore.

They are strangers, embarking on a journey to heal his heart, tentatively touching the strange bond of friendship. Slowly, but surely, the world is brightening. Day turns to night to day again. It becomes easier to breathe, think, see.

And when Karin changes the colour of her hair…

… he is sent to memory lane.

He sees her first in the park, surrounded by her family and a picnic basket. A tall and willowy lady, a soft smile gracing her face; a strong and boisterous man, hoisting his orange haired son on his shoulder; a small girl that seems identical to her mother, a perfect picture of innocence; then… her, ebony haired and pale skinned child; all of them wearing a matching set of smiles, almost stupidly happy.

Momo is calling him, taking his hand with wide eyes and a sweet face, leading him away despite being the younger out of the two.

But he looks back, glimpsing her one more.

He sees her a few times after that, the supermarket, the park, outside of his house, but never talks to her. It's almost like she's lingering in the corner of his eye, just waiting to be noticed. He wonders if she notices him.

Finally, a soccer ball connects their paths together, rolling lazily to his toes and recoiling on impact. Gingerly, he picks it up, examining it for a label or something before hearing a voice and looking in that direction.

"Hey." And there she is with a smile on her face as if she's been waiting for this moment for a long time. "That's my ball. Can I have it back?"

"… oh." He looks at it, this unremarkable object that has become a million times more valuable. "… yes. Here." He shoves the ball into her small hands.

She gives him a soft smile. "I'm Karin."

"Toushirou." He nods.

"Maybe we'll meet again someday."

He hopes so.

The sun shines brightly one day, the wind in Momo's hair.

And he sees her, hands entwined with her mother's, grinning like there is no tomorrow, alongside her sister .

Momo waves and he offers a smile at the girl with happiness glowing as she tells her mother many things about what happened at school.

She only grins and waves back.

It's through Hinamori Momo that they become truly acquainted. With her usual greeting, she introduces the not-stranger behind her, eyes bright and mouth wide, the corners tipping upwards.

"Karin-chan, this is Shirou-chan." She pushes the shy girl in front of him. "She's in my class."

"Shirou-chan, this is Kurosaki Karin-chan." Likewise, she introduces him. "He's in the year above us and I live with him."

He can't help but roll his eyes, automatically correcting Momo. "Hitsugaya Toushirou."

"Nice to meet you." Karin grins that secret smile, one that only he knows.

"… you too." The words finally come to mind. "Are you coming home with us?"

"Yep! And…" The black haired five-year-old looks around. "… Yuzu?"

"O… ohayo." The auburn haired sister says, peeking from behind Karin.

With a nod, he begins to lead them to his – and Momo's – house. But not without glancing at Karin from time to time.

"Gentlemen, I bring a new member to our soccer gang!"

Karin points to him, an eager grin on her heart-shaped face. He bets that she can taste victory in the air.

"Wow… he's so cool."

"Is that hair for real?"

… he decides not to answer unless they have real questions.

"This is Hitsugaya Toushirou. He's gonna make us invincible, or die trying. Toushirou, this is—"

A bushy browed narcissist and is the nastiest out of the lot, as he finds out. "Toba Ryouhei."

A guy who has glasses and wears a hairstyle that he thinks is cool. "Usaka Kazuya."

A boy who has uncontrollable hair, almost like an afro. "Uehara Kei. We call him Donny."

A kid who has spiky black hair, similar to an arrow. "Toujouin Heita. Renamed Pinta."

During the course of the next five years, an odd sort of understanding comes between them. He helps her with homework, whenever she comes over to stay overnight, Yuzu tagging along; she helps him come out of his shell, wide blue eyes that make him trust her far too easily.

She finds him easily whenever she cries, breaking her leg, getting beaten up or allowing trouble to find her, he acts as her sanctuary whenever her mother is not there to comfort her; he always finds time for her whenever Yuzu and Momo have their girly moments on about boys and make up and cooking at home, he makes her laugh and smile, makes her pout and fume, allowing her to feel comfortable with herself.

… Karin is Karin, inexplicably so.

She tells him her dreams, and her hopes, in exchange for him training up her four boy one girl soccer team. They make a promise that they'll never, ever stop being friends.

They break that promise while deciding which soccer team is the coolest.

They renew that promise when he buys them all ice cream, having been the one asking the question.

It's a rinse and repeat situation where the person to blame buys everybody compensation as an apology.

To them it's tradition.

Nom.

Freeze.

"Ew. Ew. Ew!"

Sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"This—this—"

"… melon?"

"Yes! Melon! It tastes awful!"

"If you don't like it then why did you eat it?"

"Because Momo wanted one. And I wanted to try it."

"… I see."

"Do you like melons, Toushirou?"

"I—"

Shove.

"See? Awful, isn't it?"

Swallow.

"Actually… it's not bad."

When Karin is ten, long locks of hair almost reach her elbows; she introduces a new person to the group: Kuchiki Rukia, the latest new girl.

And she fits in like a glove, a medium between girly Momo and tomboyish Karin.

Rukia is… different, but she's not Karin.

"That was my face, you midget! Aim for the goal, not me!"

There's a picture of the five of them, ages fourteen and fifteen: Momo, Rukia, Yuzu, Karin and Toushirou.

Rukia's sitting on the grey stone wall, swinging her legs back and forth, twirling an umbrella behind her. Momo's beside her, wearing a flowery hat and flip-flops, posing with the peace sign. Yuzu's on the other side of Rukia, hair curled, smoothing out the creases of her dress, a twinkle in her eye.

He sits below the three 'angels', not bothering to pose as he stares straight into the camera, wearing a blue shirt.

Karin's arms are around his neck, her face nearly brushing his and grinning that sunshine made grin.

Click!

Ichigo comments that Toushirou is either gay or a total pimp.

When Karin and Yuzu are fifteen, tragedy strikes.

Kurosaki Masaki dies; their stupidly happy smiles with her.

They all feel responsible in different ways.

They all change, dropping out of school for a while, unable to function. Yuzu becomes more motherly, trying to polish the dust that remains part of Masaki, and cooks meals of excellence having been taught by the best… her mother. Ichigo turns distant, more aloof than he already is, gazing at the spot of her death, trying to defy all the medical logic that speaks bitterly in his mind.

And Karin?

Kurosaki Karin who cannot cook and cannot clean, can only cry (although the amount of that happening has decreased dramatically since meeting Toushirou) and do nothing? She stays in her room and… and that's it.

He thinks. He doesn't know.

A week is generous.

There is only so long before friends will want to intrude and help out the girl who doesn't speak, doesn't talk and doesn't let anyone into her room. She can't play truant forever. Her mother… Kurosaki Masaki… wouldn't want that.

"Ne, Karin…" Rukia knocks. "Come out already."

"We brought Toushirou with us." Momo says, the poundings on the door abruptly halting.

Rukia and Momo glance at each other, as if something is hidden from him.

"He wants to say something to you." Yuzu adds, in hope, in desperation.

He sighs, hands firmly in his pockets. "Do whatever the hell you want, but… is this what your mother would have wanted?"

Silence. It weeps, it burns, it suffocates.

He doesn't hang around.

Karin's hair is light brown like Yuzu's, the next time he sees her. Her waist length locks are gone, now barely past her neck.

She looks different.

… she looks okay, if a bit tired.

"You were right." She nods, head downcast and tilted left. "Moping… isn't what Kaa-chan wanted me to do. Well. Maybe a little bit. But not for the rest of my life, you know?"

At some point where the silence becomes unbearable, she starts to draw circles with her foot.

"Do you want pocky?" She claps her hands, a grin twitching at the corner of her mouth and meeting his eyes.

"Pocky… pocky sounds good." Slightly surprised, the words come awkwardly. "Karin."

"Hmm?" Wide eyed, she gazes solely at him, worried that her exterior might crumble into pieces.

"… you look good."

It must be a trick of the light, because her cheeks flush like an unfurling rose.

She changes after that, some ways subtly, other ways blatantly. Energy springs upon her and she brings life with her, wherever she goes. Vigorous and strong willed, her training improves, as does her sarcasm, growing more apparent every day. She doesn't take people for granted, or at least tries her best to make them smile and feel welcome.

But she becomes… weird towards him.

He just can't figure it out.

There's this guy. Tall and dark, exotic and muscular. Wavy chocolate hair. Beautiful brown eyes.

He's been friends with Kurosaki Ichigo for quite some time.

And Toushirou doesn't like him.

… because Karin does.

The words are out before he even thinks about it; and he can't remember what the hell he said.

Her eyes are smouldering. Her frame is shaking. Skin pale, ashen white blemished in anger.

"Don't you fucking say something like that to me ever again."

She's never tried to hide from her emotion, and it shows clearly in the iris of her eyes.

"I'm just—"

"I can fucking take care of myself." She interrupts, not in the mood for his excuse, or whatever he has to say.

"Clearly." Snide, Toushirou is quick to reply. "Fine. Go ahead. Date him."

"…" She looks away at that, mouth slightly parted as if the words have fallen to the floor singing unheard words.

"Keep in mind that if he breaks your fucking heart that I won't pick up the pieces."

She laughs at that, bitter and mocking. "… you never did anyway. Why should you start now?"

And the words that came to counteract that statement washed away, drained away as the silence wrapped them both in an icy breeze.

There's nothing to do but walk away.

She doesn't talk to him for a while, her hair now black.

Come to disco, everybody said. It'll be fun. It'll be really fun.

… he doesn't know why part of him wants Karin to be there.

And there she is, swaying to the music with her friends like she doesn't have a care in the world.

The lights flash – blue, green, red, changing colour every time he blinks in the dark atmosphere.

Suddenly she is right in front of him, a smile plastered on her face, alcohol blushing for her. She grabs his wrists and begins to dance, knowing that both of them can't really dance, but if it's all for the spirit of fun, then it's okay.

"Hey, hey, hey… where have you been…? Shirou…" Karin slurs, ridiculously happy. "C'mon, c'mon. Shake that body of yours, for me, 'kay?"

He tries, awkwardly, admittedly, not very hard.

Karin scowls.

"Put your hands on my hips, and I'll put my arms around your neck, and we'll let the music flow. How about that?"

The only reason he's letting her do this is because he himself is slightly tipsy, and the music is deafening him.

… she's too close. Too close to not count every fuzzy eyelash, too close to not count every sparkle in her eye, too close not to reach out and kiss—

"Oh, jeez, Karin!" Rukia is prying the drunken girl away from him. "You promised that you'd behave yourself."

And all Karin can do is giggle, sashaying to another part of the room where she can have fun.

His eyes watch her the whole time.

She doesn't talk to him for a long time after that.

… he thinks he knows why, but he really, really doesn't.

When she finally does, it's like she's a stranger out of the rain, bringing the sun wherever she goes.

He almost doesn't recognise her. Because her blinding smile catches him off guard. And Ichigo is only amused.

Dawn spreads and all he sees is her back in the dewdrop of morning. Her strong, strong back.

Then she turns and all that registers is her vulnerability in layers of delicate disposition.

She is there for him; but who is there for her?

… he doesn't think it's a dream, but a distilled memory.

Karin changes her hair colour as a sign that she's moved on.

Maybe he should move on too.

Or, maybe… he already has.

He just hasn't realized it.

living corpse
10 : skin and bones

"You're finally up, sleepy head." Kurosaki Karin says with an easy smile on her face. "Come on, I've finally got a job to earn some money."

"… a job?"

"Mou, you didn't think that I just used my family's money to fall back on and get off scot-free, did you?" She pouts, furrowing her eyebrows and narrowing her eyes after he doesn't reply. "You did."

"… can you blame me?" Hitsugaya Toushirou shrugs. "We've been going around place to place, having fun and yet, for some reason, you aren't tethered down by a day job."

"Hey! I have a day job. And a night job. And a twilight job. My job can be done at any time of the day – it just depends on whether people want it to happen or not. Then again, I might do it for kicks. But the downside of that is that I don't get paid." Folding her arms and huffing, she looks away, before meeting his eyes again and smirking. "You wanna come?"

"Is there anything else I can do?" He asks rhetorically.

"Well… you could sight-see, I guess. Buy a few more souvenirs. Take photos. Write a book on the woe of youth and independent thinkers. Pick one of the various options that I have given you."

Silence.

"… so, I guess you're coming with me?" Teasingly, she leans forward, the corners of her lips curving. "Well, okay. But be warned: I will introduce you as my dorky sidekick."

"Karin. What do you do?"

The Ghost Media would like to interrupt this story with ground breaking news:

"Be warned, friends, fellow ghosts who haunt the land as kindred spirits. There is an enemy that we have come to dread and fear! She comes, she creeps, she crawls, using ninja skills and cunning craftiness!"

"Beware – for no one is safe! She will hunt you down and exorcise you!"

"Um… won't she lead you to rest?"

"Is that what she does? But what about the bloodcurdling screams and all round nastiness that comes with her job?"

"Sound effects, my friend. Sound effects."

"Huh. She doesn't seem so bad now."

"So why are we spreading panic then?"

"Oh! I know! It's her dorky sidekick with the Glare of Doom!"

"Fear him… fear him…"

"This is the Ghost Media, tune in next time for Haunting in Nagasaki at nine o'clock."

"You know. If anybody is watching this."

"Doors locked?" She drums on the driver's wheel for a count of three.

"Check."

"Seatbelts on?"

"Check."

"Car raring to go?"

The engine growls.

"… check."

"Okay, we're off to client number one!"

"… Ghostbusters? You're the modern equivalent of Ghostbusters!" Incredulous, Hitsugaya Toushirou arches one eyebrow.

"Hey. Ghostbusters is awesome! Not quite the same viewpoint, though. I'm pro-pacifism. Respect the dead, unless they are truly crazy or the exception of being drunk applies. There are no guns, no uniform and no catchphrases. Guns and uniform are lame, but the lack of catchphrase… oh, the shame."

"… who you're gonna call?"

"Ghostbusters!" Clapping her hands, Karin grins, knowing that it must have pained Toushirou to say that. "But, seriously, all I… I guess, it's we now… do is help them get to rest. Fulfil one wish of theirs – provided it isn't anything related to revenge or murder – and they move on, provided you made an oath with them beforehand. Otherwise it's just a lost cause."

"And if nobody calls you on this job?" The lingering unasked question finally comes into light.

"… then I get a real job."

"You don't actually have a name for this 'job', do you?"

"Sadly no. Imagination just isn't my strongpoint. Pocky?"

It's a tall, tall building.

"They come in all shapes and sizes." Karin says as she walks through the entrance. "Business areas, tiny homes, caravans, airports, it varies every time."

Approaching the counter, she leans forward, a smile on her face as she mumbles something about her job, lowering her tone as she looks left and right, shifty eyed before returning to her optimistic demeanour.

"… and this is my dorky assistant, Toushirou!" At this, Hitsugaya merely rolls his eyes and focuses once more.

The secretary's glasses flash as she pushes them up her nose, nodding once, twice. "Follow me." She curtly says.

And so they follow, one lackadaisical, the other curious.

It's not everyday that someone sees an exorcism take place.

Well. For most people.

The dark-haired secretary leads them to an empty room, devoid of anything but a mirror in the centre. "This is all you requested, correct?"

"Ah. Yeah. That's about right." Taking a good look at it, spinning around – and fumbling, Hitsugaya Toushirou there to help her gain balance – Karin offers a smile that makes her feel comfortable. "Nice place here. By the windows and very… white. Good view of Kobe."

Formal as ever, the secretary only says. "It is as you requested."

"Uh-huh…" Nonchalant, the girl with red hair only clicks her tongue and gazes at the mirror, searching for something that couldn't be seen. "Okay. Well. This'll be done in half an hour, I think; in any case, Toushirou, would you lead her out?"

"…"

"B-but!" Cheeks flush from the pasty white skin of the secretary.

"Don't worry. You have my word that I won't break anything. Really, there's nothing to see. Standard procedure and stuff. Very boring." The eccentric girl waves her away, still scrutinizing the mirror. "Oh, and a little bit of advice? Get some sleep."

Without further protest, the secretary lets herself be led out of the room by the silent and dorky assistant.

The last thing Hitsugaya Toushirou thinks she says is:

"So how's being a ghost treating ya?"

And laughing.

Crazy girl.

Thirty minutes pass and Hitsugaya Toushirou swears that the sound of a ticking clock makes more conversation than two living breathing people.

He can't answer the secretary's questions, unless he gives vague responses. Bullshit has never been one of his strong points.

He can't make small talk because it's not his strong point. Pointless conversation is… pointless.

He can't really do anything but sit silently in the chair just outside The Room, his eyes glazing over and burning holes into the wall.

All he can hear is the muffled sound of her voice.

With a gentle breeze and a smile on her face, Kurosaki Karin finally re-emerges, eyebrows arched as she tilts her head at the mute assistant.

"Okay. We're done." As if she is used to the supernatural lifestyle, Karin acts unfazed to the stuttering secretary that has lost the ability to speak. "All he wants is the company to succeed into greatness and the pipes to be fixed. Apparently there's been a leak in one of the meeting rooms? I don't know." Gazing at the piece of paper that's in her hand, she reads a few more off the list. "What else… to clean the windows more often; and for you to smile a little bit more." Simply shrugging, she places the crumpled paper into the secretary's hands, trembling slightly, though Karin doesn't say a word. "Hey, it doesn't hurt to simply relax once in a while. Let yourself go, if that's what you want to do in life."

Silence.

Karin waits a moment, before extending her hand patiently, up for grabs.

"Money, please?"

"You are ruthless." Toushirou finally speaks once they leave the tall, tall building.

"Me? Nah. Listen, this is a job. Ghosts have to move on. I mean, sure, he seemed like a nice guy, being caring and compassionate about his business and friends, but… I'm not there to hold the living person's hand; I'm not the one who gives them words of comfort. It's a job. And that's all it is. They want a festival? Fine, I'll tell the survivors to prepare a festival and be there 'till that ghost leaves the plane. But they're customers, and I'll be damned if I get too close to them in the span of half an hour."

"That's cold. I'm not sure I like this side to you." Toushirou bluntly informs her.

She shrugs, face indifferent. "It's business. What can I say? Some treat me respectfully; others think I'm a joke. Either way, I get paid."

And that's how, on client number two, the Glare of Doom was created.

Though to be fair, Hitsugaya Toushirou has always had it, he just didn't know about it.

She doesn't like that side of her; that's obvious. It's the way her mood changes and she comforts herself with an overdose of pocky sticks; the ways she flexes and reflexes her limbs as if she's been burned. She'll twitch and shudder and act distressed, behind a joyful exterior.

A stranger wouldn't know these things. But he does.

He's noticing all these imperceptible things that wouldn't have mattered to him before. A different side to her.

She's talking and she's talking, but none of her words are making any sense. Maybe they're not supposed to.

"Karin."

"—and, what?" She blinks; he catches the panic in her eyes, usually so calm and lazy.

But he doesn't say a thing. Words bind his throat, preventing anything from being spoken.

"You okay? 'Cause, really, you've got to stop staring. Seriously, if you want to say something, just say it." Her mouth twists into a pout and smile, teasing him as her eyes glitter into lazy banter, comfortable in the friendship that they have.

"Your hair looks nice." Mind blank, it's the first coherent sentence that falls from his lips. Instantly he berates himself for saying it; he sounds so stupid.

"It took you a whole morning to notice? Men." She rolls her eyes and quirks into a grin, one he used to know so well. "But thanks for telling me."

"… Karin." There's something different in the way he says her name, as if tasting it for the first time; yet she doesn't seem to notice, her blue irises peaceful, her frame at ease, shoulders relaxed and comfortably lodged around his arm.

She rolls her eyes, feigning frustration. "What now?"

"… I'm treating you to some pocky-flavoured ice cream."

"Why?" Grinning like there's no tomorrow, her head rests on his shoulder, asking for indulgence.

He could say a million things, spin a thousand stars and create a necklace just for her. But all he says is the truth.

"You deserve it."

Because really—

Kurosaki Karin is all he's got.