Loss

I lay on my back, trying to catch my breath and remain still. I held my stomach as I coughed up blood, nearly throwing up. My ears started buzzing again but I faintly heard Mike say, "RPG."

Before I could register what he was talking about, an explosion hit close to us, dirt flying everywhere. We all take cover in different spots but we were all still close together. My eyesight started to go in and out, things becoming fuzzy and blurry one moment and then the next, they're clear. I crouched down in a ball behind the rock, not taking the chances of getting hit.

"Where's Danny?" I hear Axe ask, his voice sounding like it was underwater to me.

I look around and only see there were four of us. Axe, Mike, Marcus, and me. No Danny. I frantically looked around, even standing up, trying to find my brother. I turn to Marcus, who was with him last and yelled, "Where is he?!"

"He's up top."

"What? He can't be, he came down with you!"

"He's up top. He got…he got hit. In the head."

I shake my head, not wanting to believe it as I still stand but Mike quickly pushes me down next to him and Marcus. I turn to the boys and try to convince, "We gotta get 'em! We have to! We gotta get 'em! Now!"

Mike grabs both side of my face and makes me look at him, him looking sternly in my eyes. "We are, alright?! He's gonna be fine and so are we! Calm down and we're gonna get him, got it?"

I nod my head, believing him with everything I got. "We get up there, we get him, get him down the hill, and then we take 'em on flat ground. We can take these bastards on flat ground."

Axe tried to come up to where we were but it looked like his legs were failing him so I jumped up and went to his side, supporting half his body weight and helping him up. Mike and Marcus grab his arms and pull him up, then they do the same to me. Another explosive almost hits us and we all flinch, trying to cover ourselves better.

"We're gonna go get Danny up top and then we're gonna come back down and fight on flat ground, we're gonna kill 'em all." Mike orders. "Marcus, you good?"

"I'm good!"

"Axe, you're security, Chris, you come with and try to cover us. Let's go!"

Axe hid behind the rock and started shooting the men at the top as we came out and started running, going forward. I saw a bullet almost hit us and I quickly stop, finding the shooter and killing him. I go back to catching up to the guys but I saw they stopped and hid behind a large boulder.

I ran towards them and crouched down just like them. "You guys good?! None of ya are hit?!"

"No, we're good!"

"I don't think we can get up from here." Marcus claims. "We ain't out-fuckin'-flankin' 'em, Mikey! We gotta find another way!"

"I'm going to make the call to QRF." Mike announces.

I quickly turn to him, knowing what he meant. He looked in my eyes sadly and gave me half a smile. Tears well up in my eyes as I shake my head, not being able to handle it. Marcus didn't understand and objected, "You ain't making no fuckin' comms with that sat phone, Mikey."

"Look at me." We both look at our leader, wondering what he would say "I'll make the call."

He gestured the highest and clearest point closest to us. Marcus' eyes became wide as he finally understood. "No, no Mikey. No. Fuck that!" Next thing I know, Mike throws a mag in my lap and shoves one in Marcus' face. "No. No. Fuck that, Mikey!"

"Take it. You fuckin' take it."

"I'm sorry, Mike."

"For what?"

"That we haven't killed more of these fuckers." Marcus growls as he keeps shooting.

"Oh, don't be fuckin' sorry. We gonna fuckin' kill way more of 'em."

I took a deep breath before saying, "Give that damn thing to me. I'll make the fuckin' call."

"No."

"Yes! Damn it, Mike! You have a fiancé at home, waiting for you! What do I have at home? Nothing! I've got nothing there, all I have is you boys. We just lost Danny, I can't lose another brother! Do you understand? You have a future, waiting for you. Not me! You have something to live for, Mike."

He looked at me with admiring eyes, just watching me. "Chris, I have never met anyone braver than you. You're stronger than any person I've ever known. You have a life ahead of you…you just don't know it, yet. You won't lose us. I'm gonna be watching you, you can count on that. And so will Danny. We're gonna be watching out for you, whether you know it or not. Just stay strong, alright? You're not gonna die…not here."

"You don't know that." I whisper.

"I do know that. Danny and I, we're gonna take care of you and make sure you get out of this alive, as well as Axe and Marcus. I promise you, you're gonna get outta this. Besides, we have to look out for our little sister."

I look at him with wide eyes. I've always called them my brothers but they've never called me their sister. A few tears slipped from my eyes and I unwillingly let them fall down my dirt covered, rosy cheeks. Mike leaned over and wiped them away before pulling me into a gentle hug. "We're gonna be takin' care of you. I'm proud of you. Remember that, Crystal."

I nod my head as he pulls away. He was just about ready to run but he called out, "Marcus!" he turns around to face our leader, not wanting to say goodbye. "Never out of the fight."

I look up at my leader and my brother with deep respect and admiration. He gives both Marcus and I a nod, in respect or goodbye or both, I'll never know. He raises his gun and I know that means we have to go back to business. Marcus and I peek over the edge of the rock and start shooting, giving Mike some cover as he makes his way to the tree line.

I faintly heard Axe yell, "What's he doin', guys?!"

"Murphy's movin'! Murphy's movin!"

"Where is he going?!"

We keep shooting, trying not to let any bastards hit our leader, our best friend, and our brother. An explosive hits right behind us, making me flinch and Marcus throws his arm around my body, pulling me closer. I kept shooting at anyone I could, making them drop dead.

Every few seconds, I would take a quick glance towards Mike, seeing if he was doing ok and if he needed help. I didn't want to look at him one moment then find him dead the next, I wanted to try to keep him alive for as long as possible. It wasn't because I wanted him to make that call, it was because he was my brother and I wasn't going to let him die that easily.

I saw an explosive almost hit him and I ended up standing up and shooting. Every time I hit the trigger and shot someone, I couldn't help but let out a yell. At this moment, I was thriving to kill them. I needed to kill those bastards. They killed my brother Danny Dietz and soon, they will kill one of my other brothers, Mike Murphy.

I look up again and see Mike at the top of the hill, making the call. I smile but it dropped the second I saw some men trying to climb the rocks, up to Mike. I took aim and started shooting, listening to bullets being shot and explosives smashing into the ground near us. Marcus was yelling at me to get down before I get shot but everything seemed to be in slow motion for me.

Everything was fuzzy and all sounds sounded distant, like they were miles away. I looked back at my leader and my eyes widen as I scream out his name, pleading for it not to be true. A few men were behind him, shooting him in the back. Mike drops to his knees and it looks like he stares out in the distance, in the sunset before slumping down, not moving.

Tears spring back in my eyes as I try to stay strong and the sting in my eyes become pain. A hand grabbed my arm and pulled me down next to the person as I kept staring at the place where my best friend lay at the top of the hill. My arm kept getting tugged but I didn't move, not wanting to go on. It seemed wherever I went, someone would die in front of me and I couldn't take it if I lost one more.

"Chris, come on! We gotta move! Get back to Axe!" Marcus' faded voice met my ears.

I slowly turn to him, still not moving my feet. "He's dead! Mike's dead, Marcus! He's gone!"

It looked like he got this sour taste in his mouth with the face he made, looking in my eyes. "I know. I know, Crystal. But he's away from this place! So is Danny. Remember what Mikey said? 'Stay strong'. Honor him and do as he says. Make his last wish of you become possible."

I nod my head, realizing he was right. We start climbing down to Axe, everything silent. There were no gunshots, no bullets flying, no explosions, nothing. The air was thick with death as everywhere you looked, there was someone dead. I swallowed a lump in my throat, not knowing how much more I could handle. Stay strong, alright? The words echoed in my mind as if it was on repeat. I'm proud of you. Everything Mike Murphy told me that moment will always stay with me, no matter what happens and no matter what situation.

Marcus and I drop down next to Axe and try to catch our breath. All three of us sit there for a moment, trying to take it all in. "Where's Mike?" Axe questions after a minute. We don't answer him and he turns to us, asking again. "Where's Murph?"

"Up top." I cringe at the words, knowing that was exactly what Marcus said about Danny.

"Where up top?"

"He's gettin' the QRF."

It was silent again and I saw Axe look around, trying to see if he could find out leader. "Where exactly is Mike?"

"If I knew exactly where the fuck he was, I would tell you, brother!" Marcus snaps, looking him in the eye. "Is he squared away?"

Axe looks down and I saw one spot on his head was covered with blood. I nudge Marcus and point at it. "Oh fuck! Here, come here. Let me see you."

I look at it before pulling another extra cloth out and putting it on his head. He replaces his hand with mine and looks at us. "Did they really shoot me in the fucking head?"

"Yeah, buddy."

It was silent between the three of us, our breathing becoming quiet. I leaned my head against the rock behind me and close my eyes, letting the tears slowly fall. After a while, Axe quietly inquired, "Are Mike and Danny really dead?"

"Yeah." I barely make out.

"Are we dead?"

"Negative." Marcus chokes.

"We're good, right?"

"Fuck, yeah. We're solid."

It was silent once more for a few seconds before Axe speaks again. "If I die, I need you two to make sure that Cindy knows how much I love her."

"She knows." Marcus quietly says.

But Axe didn't stop, he kept talking. "And that I died with my brothers with a full fucking heart."

I look at my teammate and he's looking back at me with a smile, as if he was happy to think about leaving this place. "You're not gonna die, Axe. We're not gonna—"

I was cut off by a bomb hitting right next to us, all three of us jumping behind a rock and huddling together. "We gotta spread out! Get yourself some real estate."

Before I could stop myself, we were separating from each other, going in different directions. It only lasted for a second but once it stopped and I looked around, I saw I was all alone and there was no sight of either boys. I look around and call out there names quietly but loudly, not risking to get shot. In the distance, I heard a chopper and when I looked up, there it was. Two of them.

I couldn't stop smiling, realizing we were being rescued and Mike accomplished his goal. Danny and I, we're gonna take care of you and make sure you get out of this alive. Mike kept his promise. We were going home. I kept cheering, waving my arms and yelling for Axe and Marcus, knowing we were saved. I watched the chopper hover above ground but I saw a trail of smoke coming towards it.

I realized what it was the second it hit. An RPG. It hit the chopper and it exploded, killing one or our survivals. My eyes widen as I stare at it, no believing it. "No. Please, God, no!"

The chopper than starts to go down and ends up smashing into the mountain, destroying my hopes. I quickly turn my attention to the other chopper and saw it was turning back, leaving us. I damn near cried, yelling for it to come back. Everything I hoped for and thought of that moment was wrecked in the fraction of a second.

I started looking around once more, screaming and pleading for Marcus and Axe to answer me. Wherever I looked, I saw nothing except trees and rocks. The adrenalin was wearing off and I could finally feel the pain again in my neck, face, and shoulder, everywhere. I kept walking, falling down hills, tripping, and even trying to run in a certain direction.

I was trying to get down the mountain, away from the area where I lost my brothers. I don't know how long I was on my feet, going forward, if it was minutes or hours but eventually, I collapsed. I fell to my knees and laid down, not wanting to move. I didn't know if Axe or Marcus was alive, I didn't know if they were hurt, and I didn't know where they were. I felt like giving up and surrendering.

I kept my eyes closed and rested, listening to the wind rustling the trees, the birds singing, and gunshots so far in the distance, I could barely make them out. My whole body jerked when I heard footsteps coming my way, twigs and leaves crunching. I tensed up and lifted my head, only to find more Tali's. I sighed, and brought my head back down, waiting for them to kill me.