Six

Concentrating on completing his final report for Space Command on the mission of the Diligence, Jack heard himself being paged.

'I thought I told you I was not to be disturbed,' Jack growled.

'Sorry sir but I have hysterical women on the com. This is the third time she's called. Now she's demanding to speak to the Captain but he's unavailable.'

'Yes,' Jack thought, 'Alex was speaking to the family of the most cowardly officer in the fleet. Confronted with his own appalling behaviour and failure to conform he had killed himself.

'She won't take no for an answer,' the crew member added.

'Put her through to Crew Resources,' Jack suggested as he called the next page of his report up.

'We've done that and she called back. She says she's had a message from her brother date stamped several months ago and now she can't get him to answer. I've checked the roster and there's no one under Ianto Jones on board.'

'Tell her she's got the wrong ship,' Jack said not looking up.

'She's been told three times she's got the wrong ship.'

Jack looked up from the report and then the time.

'Put her through,' he said.

The screen lit up and a woman clearly distressed appeared. 'Commander Harkness I'm Rhiannon Davies. I'm been trying to get hold of my brother. He hasn't replied to any of our messages and now we've received a message from him. I need to speak to him. Please his name is Ianto Jones but he goes by the name John. He came on board via a transfer from the Solaris.'

Jack thought for a moment then shook his head. 'We did have a John Jones but not Ianto aboard, and not from the Solaris.'

'He uses John as a cover. Ianto is Welsh for John that's why I need to speak to the Captain, he would know.'

'With all due respect we have no John Jones aboard this ship who transferred from the Solaris.'

'I spoke to him before you went out of range,' she tried to explain

"Look I don't know how many more ways we can say this, you have the wrong ship,' Jack said in frustration

'Are you telling me I don't know who my own brother is?' the woman spat out angrily. 'Now I need to speak to him now or put me through to the Captain.' She became even more desperate.

'Calm down.'

'Don't tell me to calm down we've received a communication that's date stamped eight months ago…please put me through.'

An older man who looked familiar swam into view and replaced the upset woman. 'My name is Arthur Jones. We have just received a most disturbing message from my son. I demand you allow us to speak to him.'

Jack was about to answer when a beep interrupted. He glanced at the screen and saw Captain Hopkins was messaging him.

'Hold,' Jack said.

'Jack you had better get up here.' Hopkins demanded.

'I have two people claiming to be John's family on hold saying they can't get hold of him,' Jack informed him.

'Put them through, 'Hopkins said.

'Look they've been told they have the wrong ship,' Jack explained.

'Put them through,' Hopkins insisted.

The scene blurred and Jack now found himself beside Hopkins as the screen filled with two very anxious faces.

'There is no easy way to say this but John is dead,' Alex told the distressed pair.

The older man seemed to shrink into himself as the woman broke down and sobbed.

'How?' the man stammered after several moments has passed.

'I'm sorry to report John took his own life,' Alex spoke in the shocked silence 'I cannot tell you how grieved we all were. It came as a complete shock to all of us.'

'Never!' the woman shouted at the screen. 'He would never do that.'

'This can't be, put me through to my son now!' As the man spoke he staggered back and collapsed. 'Dad, Dad!' the woman cried out and the screen went dead.

Alex and Jack stood and stared at the screen, numb, as if the world and the existence they knew had somehow disappeared and had been replaced with a nightmare.

'Jack, you had better call a staff meeting.' Alex looked at Jack whose face reflected that their entire universe seemed to be fragmenting when a beep brought the screen back into focus and began to speak

'I have Charles Jones on the line,' a disembodied voice announced and another older man appeared.

'My name is Charles Jones. My brother has become indisposed. We have been informed that John my nephew has died.'

Alex nodded.

'The family have asked me to make arrangements to collect John's body.'

'John's body was cast into the deep as per his final instructions,' Hopkins told him quietly.

'What are you talking about? His living will states his body is to be returned so he could be buried as per our family tradition! In the event of his death he is to be buried next to his mother and his fiancé Liselle.'

'We followed the instructions we were given,' Alex reiterated finding it an effort to speak each word.

'This is outrageous. First we receive the most appalling message from my nephew begging for forgiveness and suggesting he had killed himself. We are reeling and now we find you have robbed us of giving him the dignity of joining his family in death. Get me the highest representative of Space Command. Now!' Charles thundered to someone out of view and he rang off.

Time passed in a blur, and then another face appeared who Jack and Captain Hopkins recognised as Admiral Niemi.

'Captain Hopkins, what in all the corridors of Hades is going on? Firstly I received a comm from Ambassador Jones telling me you called him to tell him his son was dead. The news unleashed a wave of grief only to find his son is alive and well.'

'This was followed by Charles Jones, head of Space Industries, who tells me you have just informed them in the worst possible manner that his nephew killed himself. To compound the misery they have just found out you committed his body into the deep against every instruction he left.'

'I'm not sure what happened Admiral but the man we had on board we knew as John Jones, son of Ambassador Jones,' Alex explained.

'Captain Hopkins how could there be any confusion? You are the one and only person on board who knew John's true identity. John Jones is Ianto Jones, son of Senator Jones and the nephew of Charles Jones, head of Space Industries. He goes by the name John Jones to protect his identity and to keep the crew and himself safe if anyone were to exploit that fact.'

Jack felt the world around him dissolve as John's voice began to fill the room.

'Dad, please forgive me. I can't take this any longer. I've lost so much over the years it gives me comfort now to join Liselle and Craig. I know this is a coward's way out, but I won't survive tomorrow anyway. Please think of me kindly. Ianto.'

The scene morphed and Jack found himself in a bare walled room complete with a table and two chairs. Jack recognised it as a meeting area in a prison. The door opened and he turned to see a severely dressed woman in a power suit entering.

'I'm your legal counsel, Yvonne Harman. I'm here to give you an update.' She sat down without extending her hand and opened her briefcase.

'The main data base, which includes all the on board footage, logs and personal data has been downloaded from the Diligence. She looked at Jack with distaste. ' All the information is currently being evaluated in preparation to bringing a case against you and all the others involved.

'You are to be charged with murder, using command privilege for the purpose of persecution. Basically you along with others bullied John until he killed himself and from the on-board footage it was done with a great deal of spiteful glee. It has been noted that his body was jettisoned with no ceremony, with not even a single person present. As you are aware Ianto's father has taken it upon himself to launch a mission to retrieve his body knowing this is an impossible task. He has made a vow to find his son and bring him home or remain there with him.'

Jack put this head into his hands.' Please no…'

Jack woke in a cold sweat, caught his breath and stared at the ceiling. Turning, he took the photograph of Ianto he kept by his bedside and held it close to his chest. 'Forgive me, please forgive me.'

Walking towards the Hub Jack felt a feeling of dread. Today he would fail his most important on board mission: his mission to keep out the way of Ianto Jones as best he could. As Ianto had so rightfully reminded him in the corridor ten days before, all that was stopping him from lashing out was respect for Jack's role of First Officer. Since then Jack had doubled his efforts to ensure they didn't just run into each other. Whenever they found themselves in meetings or forced to confer on any issue Jack attempted to keep the contact as brief and professional as possible. Except today avoidance would be impossible.

Today there was a shared student, associate specialist and senior officers' lunch and attendance was mandatory. Opening the door Jack was greeted with his usual simpering entourage, being led by Gwen Cooper. He forced a smile and they joined the line to take a tray.

Looking around he checked where Ianto was sitting to ensure he could find the seat furthest away. He couldn't see him which meant if he ate quickly he could be out of his way allowing Ianto time to be with his students and the other senior officers.

Bringing his attention back he noted the man ahead of him appeared to have his own bevy of followers.

'Go on Sir. Try it,' he overheard a young woman voice say. 'It's a little bit of everything hot, sweet, salty, sour and spicy.'

'Sounds like an interesting dish,' Jack thought to himself. Gwen wittered on beside him about how excited she was when she found out the ship they saw docked really was owned by Senator Jones and how beautiful it was. What luxury it represented and fancy coming out all this way, and the Station.

'Then the markets. Never seen anything like it before! Aliens…I've never seen so many aliens. I got myself a bracelet and ring made from Trandean with these silver jewels set in rows which send out of rainbows of colour when even the barest light hits them.' Gwen laughed. 'Why am I telling you this? You're a man. Anyway I came back laden, real alien made,' she told him. 'Got enough presents for everyone for the coming mid-winter celebration…'

Stifling a groan Jack watched as the officer in front, with much encouragement from his entourage keyed in then pulled out the recommended dish from the replicator and placed it on his own tray. Jack thought he recognised it and the smell suggested it was Qacarian hot pot complete with dipping biscuits. Hardly a lunch dish.

'Interesting choice for lunch,' Jack found himself saying.

Without warning the man turned and Jack found the tray and its contents thrown on top of his. Startled he looked up. With horror he saw Ianto's face twisted in distress, then his back as he raced out of the room.

Passing both trays forcefully to Gwen who was standing open-mouthed Jack raced out of the crowded room. Reaching the double doors they opened and he saw Ianto disappearing down the corridor.

'Ianto,' Jack called out, mortified at what had occurred.

Ianto turned to face Jack, his expression thunderous as Jack caught him. 'Please, this was not what it appears. I didn't realise it was you ahead of me or what I had said. Please come back. I'll leave take my lunch somewhere else. Go eat lunch with your students,' Jack begged.

'So back to telling me when and where I can eat are you?'

'No, Ianto,' Jack shook his head.

Ianto stabbed his middle finger into Jack's chest. 'Is this some new kind of game where you get to set me up and then demonstrate what a big man you are to prove just how much you've changed? These people here don't know you like I do. They haven't had to endure your arrogance or experience your ability to belittle another human being until they lose the will to live.'

'Ianto, please...'

Ianto growled a shout at him. 'Stop saying my name as if you have some right to call me by my given name.' Ianto pushed his face into his. 'My rank is Commander and my surname is Jones, so that's Commander Jones to you.'

'Commander Jones…please, I made a mistake, this is not what it seems. When I was on the Diligence I was set up too… I need to apologise, I can arrange time...'

Ianto grabbed hold of Jack's uniform, pulling Jack towards him. 'Now you have time! When I needed time you couldn't spare ten minutes of your precious time.' Ianto threw him away. Jack fell back and hit the wall with a thud.

Ianto snarled and pushed his face into Jack's again. 'You enjoyed every moment of my humiliation. Revelled in it. While people passed me with their trays laden with food, you striped me bare. The whole point was a set up where I was expected to eat filth for you and the crew's entertainment.'

Jack shook his head in distress. 'I am so sorry...'

'Sorry that every day I was terrified to what cruelty or humiliation I would be forced to endure next? Maybe on opening my door I would find another chapter of that vile cartoon. Or have to face the slurs about my family; my mother was whore, my father was a gangster who deserved prison; my family was trash unworthy of the crew's presence. Remember a family where I get to act out playing the victim.' Jack shuddered as he recalled the last words he had spoken to Ianto before finding him on the holo-suite.

'I had to stand there day after day; my mouth sealed because I knew you were waiting for me to break so you could reduce me to nothing. You were spiteful, cruel and heartless and now you want time!'

'Sorry…'

Ianto's eyes flashed with rage. 'Sorry you got caught, sorry your actions couldn't he hidden from Space Command, sorry that you lost your command. It will be a cold day in hell before I accept you were sorry for what you did to me. '

Commander Jones, I deeply regret what happened...'

'Do you regret I lost my career and nearly five years of my life? Regret I had to learn to stand and walk unassisted? I've had to endure twenty-eight surgeries and I will never be pain free again. And all because you couldn't give a fellow officer the benefit of the doubt and give them ten minutes of your precious time.'

'That moment has haunted me…'

'Good,' Ianto spat out. 'I hope it haunts you forever. I hate you. I've dreamed of hurting you, making you suffer. Yet, here you are, Commander Jack Harkness, first officer still playing the same fucking games. You may have convinced god knows who to work your way back up the food chain but you don't fool me. You are the same nasty, conniving, vindictive bastard you always were.'

'Please…' Jack begged.

A noise caught both their attention and found it was Martha.

'I'm not sure this is the best place for this,' Martha told them both firmly.

The lift door opened. Ianto backed in and pointed a finger at Jack. 'Keep-away-from-me.'

'Jack,' she started to say

'I don't matter please make sure he's okay.'

'Right now Ianto is as mad as hell. He needs some time to cool off. Let's go and talk,' she offered.

'Leave me alone.' Jack pushed her aside and staggered away.

'Can I come in?' Martha asked and Jack waved her in to his quarters.

Surprised she saw large framed image of Ianto Jones on his table.

Jack saw her forming questions so answered what he knew was coming. 'It's a reminder so I never forget that I ruined his life.'

'What happened today?' Martha asked. Jack indicated she sit down.

'It was in the Hub. I was talking to Gwen Copper…well, more listening and nodding. I just saw the person in front of me had been persuaded to try something interesting to eat. It was Ianto.'

'I gather that this triggered something for him?' she checked.

Jack took a moment to find the words to explain as a deep burn of shame built in his chest. 'On the Diligence, I pulled up Ianto in front of the entire Hub. I forbade him from taking food to his cabin. I didn't realise that things were so bad he was being forced to eat in his quarters so that he didn't have to face people spitting in his food. A few weeks later Susie changed his food card.' Jack closed his eyes in remembrance. 'We were both standing behind him in line. I thought he was trying to show off by ordering some alien concoction, when in fact he was left in a situation where he no longer had access to edible food. And today I used the same phrase I used then….'

Martha nodded her understanding.

'The look on his face when he turned…he looked desperate, like he had been transported back there. How could I have been so stupid?' Jack admonished himself. 'I ran after him to apologise not for what just happened but all of it.'

'Jack, I understand you are driven by the need to apologise. Ianto is no-where near ready. He's really only just recovered healing his body. His worst scars are on the inside. He's grieving the loss of everything he thought was his future.'

Jack closed his eyes. 'I started so many letters, begun so many journeys to go and see him. I don't have anything to offer other but words…'

'Jack, he's not ready to hear them. He is hurt, angry and he has a long journey ahead of him.'

'All I have are words and they mean nothing to him.' Jack looked at Martha 'And what if he never hears?'

'He might, Jack, but that time is not now.'

'Why does all of this have to come back to time?' Jack raged.

'Because like it or not time is what he needs,' Martha tried to explain but Jack, like Ianto, was in no position to hear.

'Can I come in?' Martha said as Ianto opened his door.

'Did Harkness send you?' Ianto asked bluntly.

'No, I sent myself. Ianto, I'm Crew Resources. You and Jack had a very public meltdown. I'm here to see if you wanted to talk.'

Ianto looked at her as if she was something he might find under a microscope. 'The last time I had anything to do with Crew Resources they tried to kill me.'

'Fair enough, but things have changed since you were on the Diligence. Susie Costello and her actions caused a complete rethink starting with re-evaluating every member currently serving in Crew Resources. Some real soul-searching was done, with checks and balances put into place to ensure that what she pulled would never happened again; and second, I am not her.'

'You are Crew Resources. That makes you her.'

'I am not her. I will never be her. And with all due respect you have no idea who I am,' Martha pointed out

'As you can see I'm fine,' Ianto snapped back

'I can see that. My questions was do you want to talk?'

Ianto narrowed his eyes. 'Listen, I am sick of being fussed over. I am fine,' he said even more firmly

'I'm not here to fuss over you, Ianto. I'm here as a friend to see if you are okay.'

'You are not my friend.'

'Okay, as a fellow crew member. Do you want to talk about what happened?'

'No,' Ianto told her point blank.

'You know you don't have to keep up the pretence for me.'

'I am not pretending.'

'Ianto, do I have stupid written across my face?' Ianto blinked and tried to stammer out an answer but before he found any words Martha continued. 'Jack Harkness was one of the people responsible for your persecution on the Diligence. And you are telling me you are just fine with him being on the same ship as you?'

Ianto remained silent as she continued. 'You are not fooling me. I see a man so desperate to get back into space he took a post on a ship with an individual who caused him to lose nearly five years of his life. A man he would happily strangle with his bare hands. I see a man desperate for purpose compensating by giving his students the skills he knows he will never use again for real. You don't need fussing over Ianto, it's clear you are more than capable to taking control of your life. What I'm offering is my help and friendship.'

'I don't need your help or friendship,' Ianto found his voice.

'Well you've got it.'

'Yeah right,' Ianto snapped back.

'What is that supposed to mean?' Martha flared.

'I've spent my whole life around people who say they are 'my friend'.' He did air quotes. 'The only reason you are here is because of who my family is and what you think I can do for you.'

'I don't give a flying damn who your family is. You are a member of this crew, that is what matters me,' Martha said in her own defence.

'You don't have the first clue how to help me,' Ianto said his voice dripping in sarcasm. 'People think having money is wonderful and it is but it insulates you from real people. It's suffocating; it always has been but now it's a thousand times worse. No one sees me; they see my family, the money, the lifestyle or what they think I can do for them. I fought my whole life to be ordinary and that very thing lost me everything. I don't imagine this is an issue you could possibly help me with!'

Martha stared him down. 'There will be some, but there are others who see you for yourself. Tosh, Owen, and I'll add myself. You can be a miserable git but with good reason and other times you are too nice for your own good.'

'I give you ten out of ten for hypocrisy. The only thing missing is a medal.'

Martha looked confused.

'Another medal for being a heroic member of the Jones clan,' Ianto said sarcastically. 'Apparently being the son of my father and nephew of my uncle means my giving people information is considered a heroic act while non-family members have to actually earn the honour for real.'

'For saving Diligence?' Martha checked.

'Got it in one. Now everyone's guilt has been assuaged, everyone can move on. Space Command can continue in is merry way as if nothing had happened. Sorry about the career. Oh and by the way Harkness made Captain. It was a travesty; the ship's counsellor turned out to be a maniac psychopathic bitch, but have this lump of metal that will make up for it,' Ianto mocked.

'Ianto, are you aware of just how important the Diligence incident was?' Martha asked quietly as she came to a sudden realisation.

'I lived it what more is there to know?'

'So you have never looked at the enquires or the court martials or the internal changes within Space Command?'

'I was too busy trying to regain movement, or the really wonderful experience of recovering from my latest round of surgery, preparing for and trying not to think about the next, 'Ianto retorted.

'So neither your Dad nor any of your family ever spoke about it?

'I know Susie Costello was committed and Harkness walked away with a reprimand.'

'I assure you Commander Harkness didn't just get to walk away,' Martha corrected him.

'After this voyage he will have reached full rehabilitation. He can work on any ship on the line. While I get to back to living a half –life,' Ianto told her.

'Why did you take the position here then?' Martha asked, already knowing the answer but hoping it would lead to him opening up so he could start to heal the terrible wound exposed for all to see today.

'I accepted because it offered some form of escape. Trust me I didn't get there on my own merits, but when you have nothing to li...' he left the rest of the sentence unfinished as emotion made it impossible to speak.

'Ianto, let me assure you; you got in on your own merits.'

Ianto laughed derisively.

'Are you laughing at me?'

'Listen I know how sorry everyone feels for me. The truth is they feel terrible, not because of what happened but because of who I happened to be. Who, being the son of Senator Arthur Jones, nephew of Charles Jones head of Space Industries. The reality is instead of sitting at the table like everyone else, I get to catch whatever crumbs are thrown my way.'

'So you think you got the role out of pity due to your family connections?'

'I know so.' Ianto looked at her as if she was an idiot.

'Ianto, this is the Torchwood. To gain a place here you have to be the best of the best of the best. Space Command recognises that to produce the best officers it needs the highest calibre of individual in each discipline.'

'Thanks for the crumb,' Ianto told her bitterly.

'I don't see someone who needs pity Ianto. I see someone who needs knowledge. If I was in your position I would feel bloody angry if I thought what I had gone through had no meaning.'

'It might come as a surprise that you have earnt the respect of many people, not because of who you are but how you endured the torment you were put through followed by the courage you have shown over the past five years. It also may come as a surprise just how angry everyone was and still is about what happened. How we all mourn the loss of a very talented and inspiring officer whose loss of active service diminishes not just the Deep Exploration Service but all of Space Command. Not everyone cares about who your family is or is a villain and not everyone sees you as a victim. Some of us see you as a hero. One worthy of the title not because you handed over information but because of how you acted in that moment. You demonstrated every virtue beholden to a Space Command officer. You put yourself aside and acted in the best interest of everyone concerned. Considering the circumstances it was bloody astounding.'

There was a pause as she took a breath. 'Do you have the same depth of courage that has gotten you to this point to find out the truth? '

'The truth,' Ianto snarled.

'Yes, Ianto. The truth. Your understanding is as far from the truth as you could imagine.'

'Really.'

'I dare you to prove me wrong.' she challenged him then swept passed him and left.

Standing in the wake of Martha Jones Ianto took a moment to steady himself then threw himself face down on the bed and pulled a pillow over his head.