Chapter 2: Rebuild.
I wake up in the morning; I had been lucky to go one night without the nightmares. I get out of bed and take a shower; it feels great to be able to have a hot shower in the morning nowadays. It clears my mind and makes me feel refreshed for the day. I remember I could only have a bath every once and a while, for special occasions. Any other time it would be freezing cold water. That was back when we were under the Capitol's rule, when the Capitol fell, it did not truly fall, what fell was the law of the Games. Some how I think there should be a better way for all those tributes to be remembered. I wonder if we could set a memorial up for all those tributes' lives that were lost to the Games. That way they could be remembered forever, and that President Snow, was the worst man alive, he may of brought peace to the Capitol, be he never thought about the people in the Districts, not one bit. He took the lives of many innocent children, such as Rue and many other 12 year olds. It's horrible to think that President Snow has killed twelve year olds. Its unbearable to think this, when I think of this it makes me so mad I almost scream in disgust. But I am glad I have killed him, I am glad I ended the games. I am glad I was the Mockingjay. I have saved the lives of future generations to come; I thought I would never have children in this world. But now I can remember, the Capitol will not take my children, they will not kill my children, and they will never start the Hunger Games ever again, if I ever have children. I know that they will be safe. Today I have volunteered to rebuild District 12, so after I get out of the shower, I get into some of my older clothes that I am happy to get sweaty in. I put on some of my old shoes too, but not my hunting boots. I braid my hair again whilst walking down the stairs, and then make my way towards the kitchen for breakfast. I just grab some of the bread that Peeta had made for me the previous day and head out the door, shutting it on my way out, I look back through my window, to see the primrose is sitting happily there as the sun makes its way to where it sits everyday. It seems like it's going to be a spectacular day, on my way, I can see Haymitch has passed out on his porch. I roll my eyes and head over towards his house.
"Haymitch" I yell. I hear a strange sound come from him, a mix between mumbling and snores; I walk over to the side of his house, to find a tap. I turn the tap on to let the water run, I fill my hands with water and walk over to Haymitch and splash it in his face, Haymitch lets out a growl and looks straight at me,
"What?" I say, "You were on the porch, seriously Haymitch, you have to cut back on the drinking"
"Remember all those times you didn't listen to me?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah I'm not listening, Mockingjay."
I let out a grunt, Haymitch chuckles, I leave him on the porch and I continue walking towards the square where all the volunteers meet up. I see a girl with light red hair with bright blue eyes. She looks a bit older than me, but she's holding a first aid kit, she must be the nurse who just moved in from District 4, she looks lost; maybe she's trying to find the hospital in District 12. I know where it is. I walk over to her spot,
"Hey, Do you know where the hospital is? " She asks.
Being up close to her, I find she's kind of familiar. I cannot quite put my finger on it, I say without question,
"I know you from somewhere…" She looks at me rather confused, then her expression changes, as she looks me in the face.
"You're Katniss Everdeen.. You're the Mockingjay… I can't believe-"
"I defiantly know you." where is she from?
Her expression changes again.
"I think I know you.."
"Um. You must have me mistaken. So do you know where the hos-"
"Hunger Games." I say.
"Wh- what? I don't know what your-"
Realization hits my expression. She's the victor of the 71st Hunger Games.
"You're the girl who won that year… You were the victor almost 4 years ago." I pause, "Your name is Theria Whitelock,"
Her eyes sink downwards until they were staring into the remaining ashes of District 12.
"Yes… that's me, I am Theria…" Her eyes swell up, I've triggered some sort of paranoia that she has been trying to forget. How stupid could I be, she is obviously going through the same pain as I am going through.
"Are you feeling ok?" I say to her, I think it's the dumbest thing I have ever said. It is most defiantly not ok.
"Yeah.. I'm fine, just memories of some things are coming back to me." She sniffs.
"The Games. Am I right?"
"Yes. You are correct, I understand you are still recovering from the trauma you have endured these past couple years.."
"Yes. Although much recovering hasn't been done, Peeta still has his horrible flashbacks and I still have my nightmares that keep me awake all night.." I pause. Theria speaks up again, "So you know where the hospital is?"
"Oh yes, absolutely, It's not really a hospital, its more of a clinic, since we are still rebuilding"
"Oh I see." I lead Theria off into the direction the clinic. We are halfway there but Theria starts hyperventilating, after seeing another victor she must be having a flashback, I have brought back her memories. I take hold of her shoulder and move quicker towards the clinic. Tears start streaming down her face once we get to the door.
"Shh, shh, we will be inside soon," I try to comfort her. I twist the doorknob and open the door, her hands find one of the waiting room chairs and she plunks down on the chair.
"Ariadath." She whimpers under her breath. I know that is the tribute she had to face in the final showdown. Ariadath killed the boy from her District in the Games. I quite faintly remember, but Ariadath was a vicious Career from District 1. She had been trained her whole life, as did Cato, Clove and the others. Theria reminds me a lot about Annie. She seems so innocent yet she was forced to go to the Games. Theria speaks again.
"Ariadath was monstrous. I wouldn't of won if she lost her last spear down that cliff." I remember quite clearly that she had to pin her down and cut her throat open with the survival knife she had gotten at the Cornucopia, which was all she managed to get. But I've seen how vicious she can get; she had to end it there.
"I remember watching you on the screen, you looked horrified." Really Katniss? I'm horrible at comforting people.
"When I killed Ariadath, I had the flashback of her killing the boy from my District, that boy was a very close friend of mine, Ariadath took his life. There was not much else I could do, but kill her. If I were ever going to return to my family… The arena was very different to the last one… It was a flat out jungle, water was scarce, and there was only one lake that I can recall of. Sleeping was impossible, so many noises of intimidating animals and mutts on every corner, nowhere were safe." She murmurs. I sit there shocked of all the detail she can remember of the arena. She speaks again. "When I saw you in the arena, I knew you were something special. I knew that there would someday be a savior. And that was you, Katniss." I am even more shocked. I never knew the effect I could have on people. I gave people hope. Peeta was right; I don't know what effect I have on people.
"You, Katniss, You're the reason why children will not have to die anymore, you have given hope to all those around you, people can now live because of you"
Tears begin to well up in my eyes, I hold them back though the gratitude in this girl is overwhelming.
"I remember when Ariadath lodged that spear right into the boy's head, I watched it happen. I saw him fall to his knees. That day I knew I had to kill Ariadath." She pauses. "I hope to see you soon, Mockingjay."
"Thank you." I say,
"No, thank you."
I smile then I walk out the door and shut the door gently, I must go to the square now, I must be late for the meeting. I start running towards the square, I hear multiple peeps of my name around the District, and they see that I'm running, again. I make it to the square when I hear a man say, "Katniss, about time."
I reply, "Yes. Sorry, I was running a bit late." I give a slight huff. Not long after, I'm hauling a huge bag of gravel for the paths. This is no job for me; I'm not very good when it comes to weightlifting. Peeta would be more suitable for this job, but I shrug it off and keep working, because I know that I'm helping rebuild my home, so I'd rather do as much work as I can to rebuild this place along with the others. I look over my shoulder to find Theria scurrying over towards a man that looks like he collapsed. The heat of the day must have got to him. Theria puts a cloth over his head, I assume its damp. I place the gravel bag with the other pile I have stacked on the other side of town. I start walking back to the square to receive some more work. I reach the square and the man gives me the directions to the edge of town, I must go and retrieve some wood for the new structures of the houses and buildings, I start walking towards the area where the wood is kept. More weightlifting.
I haul the wood onto my back and walk back, I give the man the wood and he calls me off for the day, he thinks I had done enough, I take the offer and make my way back home, by the look of the sky, it looks like its four in the afternoon. The others are still working; I wonder why the man called me off early, I shrug it off and continue my walk home, primroses seem to be in season right now, they are everywhere around the place, I smile at the sight of the flowers. I shed a few tears but not of sadness, but of happiness, Prim can be a special part in me, and she can be a special part of nature. I see Peeta's home now, I think I should go pay him a visit today, I mount the stairs to Peeta's door and knock, there is no response, I open the door and peer around the corner I find Peeta clenching on a chair with white knuckles, sweat rolling down his cheeks,
"Peeta?" I say hesitantly, no response,
"Peeta?" I say again, rushing over to his left side, I am about to place my hand on his shoulder when he knocks my hand out of the way,
"You're the mutt!" He yells.
He's having another flashback. I knew it.
"No Peeta, you're having a flashback again, you're-"
"You're the mutt!" he shoves me back, "Get away from me!" oh my god, this is worse than last time.
"Peeta," I gasp.
"You are the reason why thousands died!" He yells, he pushes me back a second time and I fall to the ground, he starts kicking me, I know it will leave plenty of bruises,
"Peeta!" I shriek, "You're having another flashback! Snap out of it!" I whimper, his foot meets my face and my nose begins to bleed, that's when I know he comes back to reality. His face is shocked; he looks over me within seconds his eyes being to fill up with water, "Peeta?" I gasp.
"What have I done?" Peeta kneels beside me and pulls me into his chest.
"I'm so sorry." He cries, his head is rested on my shoulder.
"Shh, shh. I'm fine," I say.
"No you're not, you're bleeding."
"I've been in worse situations Peeta, you know that." I pull away, wiping the blood from my face,
"I'm so sorry… I jus-"
"Shh. I'm fine," I reassure him by pulling him in for another hug, we stay there for about five minutes then I pull away and place a kiss on his forehead. "I'm fine," I whisper, I see tears building up in his eyes again, I place my hand on the side of his cheek and wipe them away with my thumb, I look straight into his deep blue eyes, he is hurt, somehow we need to get his flashbacks under control, it's only rarely they get out of control like that, I'm the only one who can seem to calm him down, even though I'm the one who triggers it all. "I think you need some fresh air," I suggest to him, he nods and I take him outside. I bring my game bag just in case I do some hunting, then I take his hand and lead him to the fence; we go under it and head out into the woods. As soon as we are on the other side, I start running, Peeta's had still grasps mine, when we reach the tree where my bow an quiver is, I can't help but take them out, Peeta smirks at me,
"What?" I say,
You and your bow and arrows," Peeta smiles, "Yes me and my bows and arrows" I say, within minutes I have shot two squirrels, I go to retrieve them both then I put them in the game bag. I take Peeta to the lake my father used to take me to,
"Wow, this place is amazing," He says,
the waters were always deep blue, even if it was rainy, I go down to the bank of the lake and cup some water into my hands and clean my face, My hands are slightly shaky from the assault before, he notices this and maneuvers to my side and sits down,
"Are you feeling ok? He asks,
"Yes, I'm fine. Just. Fine." I say,
My eyes swell up, will Peeta ever recover from is hijacking? He lifts my chin up so his eyes meet mine. Then I look around his face, I see the scars quite clearly now. They are the whip marks, I pull him in for another hug, I just can't help myself, he is just so vulnerable sometimes, he may look like he's strong, and can handle anything, but there is softness inside of him, that can be harmed quite easily, no wonder the Capitol could crack him so quickly, Peeta reminds me of bread, ironic really, the outer crust of the bread appears to be sturdy, but on the inside, it is soft and malleable, easy to twist and turn into dark ways. This is what has happened to Peeta. I need to do something about this, I cannot bear to just do nothing, I must act on his behalf, I cannot lose the boy with the bread, and I wont let him escape me anymore.
"You'll be alright, I promise you."
We keep hugging and the sun begins to set. The pink light reflects off of the lake, creating nature's masterpiece, I am happy to be here with him, I feel like am starting to find the missing puzzle pieces of my life, I have found my first piece. This is the moment that I want to freeze forever. But I know we can't stay here long, in the woods before dark is unsafe,
"We better get going, Peeta, It's a good idea not to get ripped to shreds by the animals that hunt at dusk."
"Good idea," He says, I take his hand and take him to the fence, we get into District 12 by the time the sun is almost out of sight, there are still people waking around though, I can hear the occasional talk from the people, murmuring about us, things like "Is this real?" "Or is this fake?" I'm sorry, what's fake? They are probably referring to me being with Peeta, I don't know what this is, but they are making assumptions on relationships already? I'm shocked; I feel a sharp pain on my side,
"I think I need to go see Theria," I say,
"Who is Theria?" he says,
"Theria is the new nurse here, she was also the 71st victor of the Hunger Games,"
"Theria Whitelock?"
"Yes,"
"Wow, but sure. I can take you to the clinic,"
"Thank-you."
Once we get outside of the clinic I place a kiss on his forehead,
"I'll come by your house before I go home," I say to him,
"Okay," hey says, he walks down the steps and looks back I smile and wave to him, he waves back, I turn around and open the door to the clinic,
"Theria?"
I hear some light footsteps coming from down the hall, and then she appears from around the corner,
"Hello Katniss, Is there anything you need?"
"Well, I just need someone to talk to," I say,
"You can trust me with anything, Katniss" she says,
"Peeta is having his flashbacks, and well, today his one was particularly bad," I life up the side of my shirt to show Theria the bruising on my sides,
"Oh wow, are you ok?" She examines the bruises further, "Some of these are blood bruises." She says in shock,
"Oh so that's why they are slightly more painful than normal," I chuckle.
"You should of come to me sooner," Theria says, "Here I'll go get some bruising cream," Theria scurries off to one of her cabinets I stay put, she comes back with a small bottle of cream, she scoops some onto her finger and rubs it generously on my bruises, I jump a little to how cold the cream is,
"Maybe I should have told you it was going to be cold," She laughs,
"It's fine, anything to take away the pain is fine," I say lightly,
"Now about Peeta's flashbacks, how often to they occur?" Theria asks,
"Well, they usually happen once a month, but its picking up to maybe once every few weeks, "
"Ok, could you get him to see me tomorrow? If that isn't much of a fuss,"
"sure, do you have an idea?"
"Yes, although it's a bit hard to explain, when you come back tomorrow I'll explain to both of you,"
I nod, "Thank you so much," I say, I go in for a hug, she doesn't protest, I pull away from her,
"See you tomorrow Theria,"
"Ok, see you."
I leave the clinic and walk to Peeta's house, as I promised, It's a cold night tonight, There will be nightmares, I remember when me and Peeta used to sleep together, He always calmed be down when I had a nightmare, I think about this some more, But before I can think anymore, I'm at Peeta's door, I open the door. He's sitting on the couch in the quiet; his eyes light up when I come into the room,
"Hey Katniss," He says,
"Hey," I sit on the couch next to him,
"So what did you need to do over there?"
"Well, Theria may have an idea on how to stop your flashbacks, or at least get them under control,"
"That's great," Peeta pauses, "I'm sorry about today,"
"When are you going to stop saying sorry, I told you, it's fine,"
"I know, but I do worry, and I can,"
I smile softly, I rest my head on his shoulder and lift my legs onto the couch, Peeta starts stroking my hair, and I sling my arms around him. We sit in silence for a moment until the phone rings, I sit up.
"I'll get it," Peeta says, as he gets up and grasps the phone and holds it to his ear,
"Yes…. Ok, wait… what?"
I can hear the muffled voice coming from the phone; it is defiantly a man on the phone, "Right, thanks for calling," he hangs up the phone,
"Who was that?" I ask,
"Oh, it was a man from the council, saying he had just engraved my family's names onto the memorial."
"Oh, I see" I say, I don't know what to say, he has lost his whole family, It must be hard.
"How are you coping, with it…?" I ask hesitantly,
"I'm fine, it can be hard," Peeta pauses, "but at least I have you,"
My eyes widen, but I'm not surprised, He did tell me I was his whole life in the Quarter Quell, and he would have no life back here without me,
"You're all that I really need, I'd be lost without you," He trails off,
The words hang in the air, swirling around my mind, I have to add an ending, and I end up saying what the first thing that came to mind,
"I can't help but think the same way," and with that I lean in to kiss him, I know I have defiantly found that puzzle piece; I know that I am truly happy with Peeta.