Girl's Cabin Number 2
Chapter 21: Subs
A/N: Last chapter was too fluffy, here's some crude humor to make up for it!
"Sakura kissed you. You should go out with her man, she's cute," Zaku prodded.
"She's just competing with Ino," Sasuke shrugged.
"Take your pick already! They're both hot," Kiba smirked as he piled some roast beef on a long roll.
"Hey, I might be a catty bastard, but I'm not shallow," Sasuke smirked back as he took tomato slices and layered them on his sandwich.
"I'm just saying that even if you don't like them, you still could easily get a good round from each," Kiba grinned evilly.
"I'll let you in on a little something I found out from a friend," Zaku lowered his voice and the other two guys leaned in to hear him.
"Sakura's last boyfriend," he started and then held up his hand rigidly, "four fingers."
"No fucking way," Kiba awed.
"That's gotta hurt," Sasuke twitched as he stared at his own fingers.
"Yup, four fingers. I mean, I'll get two in usually and it's way tight. This guy didn't have small hands either," Zaku blabbed.
"Are you sure Little Sasuke is enough to satisfy her? Four fingers is tough to beat," Kiba sighed as he continued to stare at his digits.
"Maybe if he stretched himself," Zaku snickered.
"Like that one dude from the Fantastic Four!" Kiba exclaimed.
"Mr. Fantastic!" Zaku yelled.
"Fantastic Four, that should be her ex's nickname," Sasuke chortled.
"Dude, if you stretched her out even more by being Mr. Fantastic, what if she gets pregnant or something?" Zaku questioned.
"Yeah, wouldn't the baby just fall out?" Kiba gagged.
"You'd have to staple her vagina up!" Zaku burst out laughing.
The other two tried to contain their laughter, but failed.
"What are we talking about?" A voice came from behind.
The boys froze, but turned around to see that it was only Naruto.
"What's so funny?" The blonde asked.
"The Notorious V-A-G," Zaku snickered.
"That's a good one!" Kiba high-fived.
"Huh?" Naruto was utterly confused.
"Sakura's vagina," Sasuke responded bluntly.
"You guys are awful," Naruto chuckled as he looked over at Hinata who was hanging with the girls.
"I can't believe you just kissed him like that!" Ino screamed at Sakura.
"Well you were hogging him all to yourself!" Sakura retorted.
"We were barely touching though!" Ino yelled back.
"Probably because he didn't want to touch a nasty girl like you!" Sakura sneered.
"Like hell I'm nasty compared to you Miss Four Fingers!" Ino snapped.
"That's nothing little Miss Fist Eater!" Sakura jeered.
"Miss Two dogs in one bun!" Ino cockily smirked.
"Oh now you've done it," Sakura glared as she pursed her lips.
"You just can't think of a good come back," Ino glowered right back.
"B," was all the pink haired girl said and Ino's face paled.
"Fine, you win," Ino sighed as she turned her back to Sakura.
"Where do you think you're going? I'm gonna need something to keep me quiet," Sakura smiled maliciously.
"Name it," Ino replied quickly.
"You know who," Sakura answered.
"But why? I want him so bad! He's so hott!" Ino whined.
"Too bad, so sad, if you get lonely, there are other guys. And if that doesn't work out, you know you can just go into the woods and find a-" Sakura was cut off before she could finish.
"Deal," Ino said sharply.
"He's all mine," Sakura grinned.
Meanwhile, Tenten was finally enjoying some alone time with Neji.
"Oh my god, that was horrible," Tenten moaned, referring to the baseball thing.
Neji just looked at her with an unreadable expression.
"I mean, I hate Itachi. I don't mind you, I mean, well, uh," she babbled.
Neji slightly smiled and took a bite of his sub.
"Hey, what does that mean?" She pouted.
He swallowed his bite and gave a chuckle.
"You're not much of a talker," she sighed.
Neji smirked/smiled. "I," he started, but was cut off.
"Ow fatty!" Tenten exclaimed as she stared at her foot that had just been stepped on.
"I'm sorry Tenten-chan! I'll massage your poor tender foot in apology!" Itachi wailed.
"Apology accepted, now just go away," Tenten said ignorantly.
"But your poor foot!" Itachi cried.
"I'm fine, now leave," she ordered.
"I really am-"
"GO!" She yelled.
"Why do you have to so mean to me?" He pouted with a pinch of seriousness.
"You're annoying and persistent," she replied blatantly.
"It's only because you won't look at me," he said in all seriousness.
"And why would you want me to look at you?" She retorted while frowning.
"Because I like you very much," he answered with a strange, almost cocky, sort of smirk.
Tenten, who had been oblivious the whole time, was shocked.
"Why?" She exaggerated the word with a look of confusion and disgust.
"Academy vs. Sarutobi game last fall, we won and were screaming it out for the whole world to know. You looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Nobody gives a shit.'"
Tenten cocked an eyebrow, obviously not recalling this at all.
"Last cross country meet of the season, you sat 2 rows ahead of me. Some guy was bothering you and I wanted to butt in, but you punched him square in the jaw."
Tenten nodded, remembering that incident.
"School board meeting in February, I was there to see Sasuke get some scholarship money for an essay contest, turns out he came in second next to you."
"And you're telling me all this because?" Tenten questioned while eyeing him funny.
"You're honest, you can take care of yourself, you're smart and," he smirked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned his back to her.
"And you're beautiful."
He walked away leaving her with those words to think about, knowing he wouldn't get an immediate answer.
Tenten was shocked, disgusted at herself and scared.
"Hey are you alright?" Neji asked.
"I-I, um, what the fuck was that?" She scowled, her cheeks red as a cherry.
"A confession," he answered.
"But WHY?" She again emphasized the questioning word.
"He just told you."
"I know but," she started.
"I do have to agree with him though," Neji said, not looking at her.
"What do you mean by that?" She inquired.
He got up out of his seat and left.
"Damn you, why do you have to so enigmatic?" She called after him.
A/N: This had nothing to do with subs, haha. Sorry this took so long, blame it on my boyfriend. Next chap is like a continuation of this chapter, I just don't feel like writing more right now.
Please excuse the conversation between Sasuke, Kiba and Zaku, I have nothing against Sakura, but I had to add it in since I had the same exact hilarious discussion last Friday.
Please review. Peace.