Epilogue

Six months have passed since that week. Six months have passed since I came back. Six months have passed since I lost my three brothers. I was getting ready to go out, buttoning my blue plaid shirt as I was walking towards the door. I grabbed my boots and sat down on the couch to tie them up and lastly, I grabbed my winter jacket and slipped it over my shoulders.

"Mama!"

I smiled as I heard the two small voices call me from upstairs. I turn around and find Turan and Danny running down the stairs to greet me at the door. They wraps their arms around my waist and hugged me tightly and I gave their shoulders a gentle squeeze. I crouch down to their level and give them a small smile. "Hey, you two. We're gonna head out to go see the boys, alright?"

They give me a smile back and nod their heads. I give them a pat on the head as I stand back up and open the door. Turan and Danny grab their coats and walk out the door before me, waiting at the car. I open the car door for them and help them buckle up. I get in the driver's seat and start up the car before backing out and heading to our destination.

As I was driving I was thinking about everything that happened in the past six months. About a month after we both were healed, I went back to the village and found Gulab and Turan. I couldn't help but ask if I could spend more time with Turan and we both agreed he needed a mother figure in his life. It turned out that every other month, he would stay with me. I would teach him new American things and teach him how to speak English.

Everyday, he was so happy to learn something new. The first time Turan went back home to his father, I realized I loved having a child with me so I adopted. The adoption center I went to wasn't good, considering the boy I took had no name. They had him for a couple years, his whole life, and they never bothered to give him a name. They just called him whatever he wanted to be called.

The young boy I took was about Turan's age and height. He had dark, brown hair with deep green eyes, just like my brother Danny Dietz. After I had adopted the young boy, I chosen a name for him and for some reason, he loved it. Danny Michael. Half the time I would call him Danny, or Mike, or even his full name. I don't know why it came up, but they both insisted that they call me 'mama'. I wasn't complaining at all, I liked it. It somehow made me feel special.

I saw our destination out of the corner of my eyes and I turned the wheel. I parked at the curb and made no move to get out. I leaned forward and rest my head on the steering wheel, taking a loud, deep, shaky breath. I damn near jumped when I heard a small voice behind me. "Mama ok?"

I turned around slightly and gave Turan a tiny smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

I get out of the car and help the two young kids out. We walk away from the vehicle and we walk around the place, trying to find my boys. I finally found them and my 'sons' stand at my side as I bend down and sit on my knees. Tears sting my eyes and I squeeze them shut, not wanting them to fall. I take another deep breath, trying to suppress a sob. In front of me were my three best friends, who were my brothers.

Michael Patrick Murphy

LT US Navy

Afghanistan

Silver Star

Purple Heart

May 7, 1976

June 28, 2005

US Navy SEAL

Our Hero

A tear slides down my cheek and I leave it there, not wiping it away. Usually, I would wipe it away as fast as I could, not wanting to show weakness but if Mike Murphy taught me anything, it's that it was alright to show weakness at times. Things may be hard and when you can't change them, do the next best thing. Accept them. This was one of those times and I didn't want it to be.

Danny P. Dietz JR.

GM2 SEAL

US Navy

Afghanistan Kia

Jan 26, 1980

June 28, 2005

Navy Cross

Siler Star PH

Eternal Love Wife and Family

Another tear fell and I ended up taking my picture out of my pocket. Danny was always there for me during my times in need. Whenever I fell down, he was right there to pick me back up. Whenever I was wounded, he was there to make sure I was alright. Whenever I was close to death, he would jump in front of me and take the hit himself, protecting me.

Matthew G. Axelson

STG2 (SEAL) U.S. Navy

June 25, 1976 June 28, 2005

Operation Enduring Freedom

Kunar Province Afghanistan

Unconditionally loving husband,

Son, brother and friend.

You will always be in our hearts.

I grip the picture in my hand tightly, but being careful, not wanting to crumple it. Axe had always cheered the team up whenever we needed it. He would make us laugh and smile when we wanted to breakdown. He always had a joke up his sleeve and whenever we tried to tease him over something, he would take no offense. He would play along with the joke, like he planned it.

I sniffed and wiped my face so there were no more tears. I stood up and looked down at the tombstones. I didn't have flowers or anything to put on their graves. I knew they wouldn't want me to give them flowers. They would joke and say that they were men and they didn't need any girlie things such as flowers. The three would tell me to just come by and pay them my respect. And that's what I intended to do.

I felt a small hand slip in mine and I saw Turan looking up at me, tears in his own eyes that were filled with concern, sadness, and comfort. I gave him a tiny smile and gave his hand a slight squeeze, then turned back to look at the tombstones. Turan understood the pain. He lost his mother and he saw the pain Marcus and I went through when we first met. Danny didn't remember his parents. I'm the only mother he's ever known and Turan is his only friend.

"I thought I'd find you here."

I turn around to find my last brother, who was the other only survivor of that un-forgetful day. He and I were the only ones who made it out and sometimes, I was thankful I was still here but other times, it tore me apart, wishing it would have been me instead of any of them.

Marcus walked up next to me and held my other hand, looking at the stones just as I was, moments ago. The cold wind blew softly, making my hair brush against my face a little. I bend down for a moment and tell my boys, "Why don't you two walk around for a bit? Uncle Marcus and I have to talk about something important, ok?" Thankfully, they both agreed and once they were far enough, I turned to my best friend. "You think they'd be proud that we were tryin' to live our lives again?"

He turns his head and our eyes meet. We stare for a moment before he nods and quietly answers, "Yeah. Yeah, I think they would."

"…I don't even know what I'm doin' anymore, Marcus. Right now in my life, I'm just bullshittin' my way through."

"I'd think they'd be happy to know that you're at least tryin'. Don't forget, I went through the same thing. I was there, too."

"I know, I'm sorry. Sometimes I just wish that it was me instead of them, though. Don't you?"

Marcus sighs as he nods his head. "Yeah. I think about that a lot." We stood there for a moment in silence, neither of us talking. The only thing you could hear was the wind blowing, our light breathing, and the two young boys wandering around. "C'mere."

I turn towards him and see he has his arms open, inviting me in. I practically jump in his arms and hug him tightly, my hands turning to fists, gripping onto his uniform. I try to control my breathing as I try not to cry. I haven't cried since the day we got back. I wanted to breakdown so many times since then but I knew that I needed to be strong. Mike Murphy told me to stay strong.

Marcus wraps his arms around my shoulders and keeps me close. He rests his head against mine and slowly rocks me back and forth, as if I was a child. "We've been through a lot of shit together, haven't we?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But, we'll stick together, right?"

"'Till the end." He places a kiss on my forehead and we slowly pull apart.

We look back at the stones one last time before turning away. I call the boys back over and I picked Danny up while Marcus picked up Turan. We walked back to the car, side by side and as we walked away from the cemetery, where my brothers were buried, something popped into my head.

"Chris, I have never met anyone braver than you. You're stronger than any person I've ever known. You have a life ahead of you…you just don't know it, yet. You won't lose us. I'm gonna be watching you, you can count on that. And so will Danny. We're gonna be watching out for you, whether you know it or not. Just stay strong, alright? You're not gonna die…not here. We're gonna be takin' care of you. I'm proud of you. Remember that, Crystal."

I almost smiled at the memory and I would have if it wasn't such a painful memory to remember. Not only are Danny and Mike watching me, but Axe is too. They will always be watching over Marcus and I. Mike Murphy's words to me that day have never left my head. I remember them every day when I get up in the morning and when I go to bed at night. His words to me that day, before he died, will stay with me until the day I die and perish from this world.

There's a storm inside of us. I've heard many team guys speak of this. A burning. A river. A drive. An unrelenting desire to push yourself harder and further than anyone could think possible. Pushing ourselves into those cold, dark corners. Where the bad things live. Where the bad things fight. We wanted that fight at the highest volume. Aloud fight. The loudest, coldest, darkest, most unpleasant fight.

Brave men have fought and died, building the proud tradition and fear of reputation that I am bound to uphold. I died up on that mountain. There is no question a part of me will forever be up on that mountain, dead. As my brothers died. But there is a part of me that lived because of my brothers. Because of them, I am still alive. And I can never forget that no matter how much it hurts, how dark it gets, or how hard you fall…you are never out of the fight.