Girls Cabin Number 2
Chapter 23: Drunk Personalities Come Out
"Shot glasses?" Anko called out.
"Check!" Kakashi affirmed as he slammed down a double dozen of them.
"V8 for Bloody Mary's?"
"Roger that!" Kurenai assured.
"Anything else you little shits like to mix?" Anko asked aloud.
"Right here!" They all confirmed.
"Alrighty then, let's drink!" Anko cheered.
"I'm more of a sake fan myself, but this does intrigue me," Lee observed as he sniffed the drink.
"Ah, shut up and drink Lee!" Kiba teased and hit the bottom of Lee's shot glass with his palm, causing the vodka to splash all over his face.
Lee licked his lips and suddenly keeled over.
"Well he didn't last very long," Ino remarked.
Then the kid with the bowl cut sprang back to life and shot a fist up into the air, accidentally hitting Kiba and making him fly across the room.
"I wants shome more of zhaaaat," Lee slurred as he shoved everyone violently out of the way.
"I dunno about this," Hinata worried as she stared at the shot glass in her hands.
"We'll take it done on 3," Naruto suggested from beside her.
Hinata gulped nervously.
"3…2…1!" Naruto counted down.
They both went bottoms up. Hinata almost spit out the foul tasting drink, but let it slide down her throat. She felt the nice warm sensation in her throat from the burn of the alcohol.
"Ew," Naruto scrunched his nose at the drink. He looked at Hinata to see her reaction.
"I want another," she slightly smirked, a drunken blush already appearing in her cheeks.
Ino and Sakura had already down 2 shots.
"I challenge you to drinking match Forehead! Who ever can drink the most shots without vomiting or passing out wins Sasuke-kun!" Ino challenged.
"We already made a deal Piggy!" Sakura growled.
"Who fucking cares! I committed acts of bestiality! Whatever!" Ino yelled out and people gasped in response.
"There, now you have nothing against me!" Ino shouted.
Sakura narrowed her eyes.
"Fine, I accept your challenge," Sakura agreed to.
Tenten was downing shots like they were water, trying to forget about what Itachi said earlier.
"Um, Tenten-san, mind if I sit next to you?" Came a quiet voice.
She turned to see Itachi looking all finger-poking like Hinata.
"Whaddya want?" She asked rudely.
"Well, I, um, I just wanted to, um, tell you that, um, well," he fidgeted.
"Just get to thuh damn point why dont'cha!" She scolded.
"Ah, I'm sorry," he apologized and scurried away.
"Fruit cake," she scoffed.
"Like omigod sweetie, you should be like a little nicer to him cause he is like so fine!" Came an extremely gay voice.
"Neji?" Tenten exclaimed in a suddenly sober tone.
"Heyyy, like we should like totally hang out sometime and get some shoes. I like, really like shoes. They're like so rad!" He gushed in the uber-gay accent.
"Go away yuh faggot!" Tenten ordered.
"Ugh, you are like the meanest bitch ever! I hate you!" Neji pouted all diva-like and cat-walked away.
"Why do all thuh fairy boys like me?" She mumbled.
"WOE IS ME!" Kiba bawled.
"My darling Hinata! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE MEEEEEEEEE?" He whined as he clung onto the navy haired girl's leg.
"Sorry doggy-boy, but I'm totally infatuated with my Naruto-darling," Hinata cooed as she traced a finger down the middle of Naruto's chest.
"BUT HINATAAAAAAAAAAA! I LUUUUUV YOUUUU!" Kiba howled.
"You're such a sweet doll, but Naruto and I need to go do some business. Isn't that right love?" She said sexily and slyly wrapped her arms around Naruto's.
"Uh, Hinata, do you know what you're saying?" The blonde boy questioned uncomfortably.
"Why of course handsome. We have the whole afternoon to do some unfinished business, if you know what I mean," she said seductively.
"But-"
"Shhh," she hushed and pressed a finger to his lips.
"Come on Sakura!"
"You can beat her Ino!"
"Enough!" Sasuke yelled.
The girls stopped drinking and the crowd stopped cheering.
"There's only one way to settle this," Sasuke said calmly, although he had a couple of drinks himself.
The crowd and the girls leaned in to hear his reasoning.
"How 'bout I just take you both!" He yelled out brazenly.
"Jiraiya would be proud," Kakashi stated.
"JOHN TUCKER WANNABE!" The two girls both shouted.
"John Tucker?" Sasuke repeated.
"DIE, BASTARD!" The girls shrieked and attacked him.
"But I thought I could make it work," Sasuke whimpered in the brawl.
"I'm scared Mommy. Make it go away Mommy. These people are scary Mommy. I wanna go home Mommy," Shikamaru rocked back and forth in the fetal position in the corner of the cabin.
"Woohoo! Hells yeah for lamp shade heads!" Kin and Tayuya bellowed as they ran around crashing into people and objects while wearing the lamp shades on their heads.
"Nobody wants me. I am unloved. I want to die, but I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself. I should write poems. Kin is so beautiful, but she'll never love me, because nobody could love a wretched being as me," Zaku sulked in the corner opposite of Shikamaru.
"I am going to knit a scarf," Gaara declared blatantly in the midst of all the insanity.
"I'll help you with that," Moegi agreed, who was just as bored.
"YOU CAN NEVER DEFEAT ME! FOR I AM KABUTO! AN EXTINCT POKEMON! RAAAAAH!" Kabuto roared for the whole camp to hear.
"But I am a Charizard! I pwn you!" Temari announced as she tackled him to the ground.
"So Anko, I think I'll just cut to the chase. Me, you and no clothes, whaddya say?" Kakashi suggested.
"Kakashi, you gotta take things slow ya'know? You gotta move with the flow and then we'll be already to go," Anko rhymed.
"So we have sex now?" Kakashi inquired innocently.
"Nooo, we're goin' to fast bro. At least another drink fo'sho, ya'know?" The newly Anko turned Dr. Seuss replied.
"Itachi, like don't let her get you down boyfriend. You have so many great assets and you just need to like play 'em up. Like you would look so hot in a polo shirt and tighter jeans, the ladies totally dig it," Neji proposed.
"You really think so Neji-kun?" Itachi asked cutely.
"Totally, let's just fix your hair and ta-da! Hottie!" Neji said in a sing-song voice.
"Thank you Neji-kun," Itachi bowed and pranced away to Tenten.
"I am like the greatest! Why the hell did they ever reject me for Queer Eye? Nobody ever rejects Neji Reginald Hyuuga!" Neji grimaced in a posh-like manner.
"You're middle name is Reginald?" Shikamaru asked.
"And damn proud of it!" Neji assured.
"That's scary! I want my mommy!" Shika ran away back to his corner.
"He will like, never get a boyfriend," Neji remarked.
Hinata was dragging Naruto out of the cabin.
"Hinata, where are we going?" Naruto inquired.
"To your place," she said with a sexy smile.
"Listen, you're drunk," he stated.
"All the more fun," she flirted.
"I don't want to take advantage of you," he confirmed.
"You won't be," she assured.
"I don't want you to regret anything either," he told her with his hands on her shoulders, keeping eye contact.
"Aw, that's so sweet! You really do care about me!" She giggled and hugged him.
"Hinata, I'm serious!" He said strictly.
"Do you really not want to have sex with me that bad?" She asked with a sniffle.
"Ah, no, it's not that. I don't want you to mad with me when you're sober tomorrow and realize that you made a mistake," he confessed.
"I swear I won't be," she swore.
Naruto looked at her skeptically.
"I pinky promise," she held out her pinky.
"It's a pinky promise, can't be broken," he finally gave in and shook her pinky with his own.
"I think we did a good number on him," Ino smiled in satisfaction, looking down at the beaten Sasuke.
"Sweet victory against sex-aholics like him," Sakura stomped a foot on his back in triumph.
"We make a pretty good team," Ino observed.
"Indeed," Sakura agreed.
The two punched fists and walked away into the sunset to finally go home from war.
"Um, Tenten-san, what do you think of my new look?" Itachi asked the brunette nervously.
"Whateva," Tenten scoffed.
Itachi looked like he was about to cry.
"How can you say that? I created this look for him! It's totally sexy! You just have no appreciation for good style, you macho-chick," Neji insulted as he pursed his lips.
"What thuh hell do you know yuh pansy? Go jack-off to What Not to Wear!" Tenten reprimanded.
"Come on Itachi, you deserve like way better than her," Neji huffed.
"Dont'cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Dosu sang as he bounced on Anko's bed.
"Fuck yeah!" Kurenai yelled and shot a fist into the air.
"Back off bitch! He's mine, I paid 16 dollars for him!" Shizune shouted.
"I'll give him 16 dollars and 23 cents. Oh, how do you like that?" Kurenai retorted.
"GIRL FIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" Kin and Tayuya screamed.
"MOMMY!" Shika wailed.
"Fools," Gaara sighed.
A/N: I love gay drunk Neji and emo drunk Zaku. Gaara knitting the scarf is a parody of me when I'm drunk. Please review. Peace.
Next Chapter: Do I Smell Citrus? (NaruHina Lemon)