Disclaimer: I do not own 'Shadows of Amn', the 'Forgotten Realms' or any characters therein. Wizards of the Coast do, at my last check. Lucky them.
Nor do I own "The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli.
I do, however, own Fritha and certain other characters and plot points. Basically, if you don't recognise it from the game, it's probably mine.

– Blackcross & Taylor

Things unsaid

Fritha moved through the thronging streets, barely noticing her usual torments of the heat and the crowds as fears for her friend chattered endlessly behind her eyes.
Was Imoen safe? Were the Cowled Wizards taking care of her, or experimenting on her as Irenicus had? No, no, they couldn't be. Irenicus was a ruthless psychopath; no sane person could be so cruel. But what of the other inmates? What if they were dangerous? What if they tried to hurt her? She could be in trouble at that very moment!

Fritha started to find herself stood in the middle of the busy street with a trembling hand gripped tightly about her sword hilt, people muttering darkly as they tried to shove past her.

The girl shook herself; this was helping no one and she continued on her way, furiously willing her fears down with every step. Now was not the time to start getting hysterical; she had to be strong if she wanted to see Imoen again. Besides, everything she had said to Anomen had been true, and she spent the rest of her journey repeating the same few arguments over and over in her mind, convincing herself of what good news she had just received.
But it seemed nothing could quite quell her fear completely and it lingered on the edge of her senses, as though waiting for some hint of weakness.

'Well, it can wait!'she declared vehemently, finally reaching the Coronet, drawing a deep breath and fixing a smile in place as she pushed open the door, returning to a much quieter common room than the one she'd left. The patrons had thinned as the afternoon had worn on, and her own table much reduced as well, just Nalia and Aerie glancing up at her arrival.

'Hello you two, 'she began brightly, the sight of them cheering her in a way she would not have expected, 'you still about, Aerie? I'd have thought you'd have gone to visit the circus by now.'

The girl mumbled something into her cup, dropping her gaze and Fritha decided not the press the issue, Nalia returning her greeting.

'Hello dear,' she welcomed genially as Fritha took a seat, the girl setting one of the two spare cups before her and pouring her some tea, 'where's Anomen?'

'He returned to the Order.'

'You mean…' gasped Aerie, a hand at her mouth.

'He's gone to tell them of our findings,' Fritha answered after a slightly confused pause and Nalia gave the elf a rather smug smile.

'I told you. Aerie thought you were going to ask him to leave when you took him off like that.'

'Ask him to leave? Certainly not!' Fritha laughed, amused by the cold mettle they seemed to attribute to her; she couldn't think of anything more unbearable than having to tell someone they were no longer welcome in their company. 'I invited him to the temple so he could report on our success in the task they set us.'

'But he was so horrible to you,' said Aerie, and Fritha considered that perhaps the elf was judging her feelings by her own more sensitive standards. That Anomen's outburst had annoyed her, there was no question, but he had hardly hurt her feelings and Fritha just shrugged.

'Not letting him attend something that would have meant so much to him just because we'd had a squabble seemed a touch petty. Don't worry, Aerie, it applies to everyone. When it comes to reporting to a shrine of Baervar, I'll let you come with me however many of my sweethearts you've stolen.'

Nalia laughed and Aerie looked as though she was fighting not to join her, pursing her lips slightly and putting all her focus into refilling her cup.

'Anyway,' continued Fritha, gasping slightly as she sipped the hot tea, 'where are Minsc and Jaheira?'

'Well, I was checking on Minsc,' came a voice above her and Fritha glanced up from her cup as Jaheira sank into the chair next to her. 'And he is upstairs resting; his chest still troubles him. But what of you? Where is the squire? He has finally quit our company, I assume.'

Fritha shook her head as Jaheira pulled the last cup in front of her, Nalia filling it with tea.
'No, and he seems quite resolved to stay with us actually. I imagine one of these two has been flirting with him,' she continued mildly with a nod to the girls, Aerie instantly flushing a wonderful shade of pink, her mouth ajar, while Nalia looked so scandalised she nearly upset the teapot.

'Fritha!' they chorused as the girl in question laughed, and even Jaheira managed a smile at their outrage.

'I'm just teasing,' she soothed, still grinning. 'As for the temple, High Watcher Oisig was nice enough, said we'd done a great service for Athkatla, and we got paid too, there are your shares.'

Fritha swallowed, setting two stacks of coin onto the table before her, very aware of what needed to come next.

'And… he also gave us the name of where they are probably holding Imoen. Spellhold, an asylum for the magically unstable.'
Their reactions were just as she'd expected, though it did not make it any easier to bear, her fears stirring with the looks of horror on their faces, their anxiety merely encouraging her own.

'Which I think is very promising news,' she continued heartily, forcing the bright smile back onto her face, 'I mean, we can't find her if we don't know where she is. Now we have somewhere to focus our inquiries on, don't we?'

The girls stole a glance at each other, Jaheira frowning slightly, though no one uttered a word of dissent, a round of tentative nodding eventually travelling the table. And, of course, why shouldn't they agree? Her reasoning made good sense.
But perhaps, Fritha considered, they could not bring themselves to do otherwise in the face of her apparent optimism, unwilling to ruin this illusion of sanctuary with some well-placed realism.

Silence hung awkward over the table until at last Nalia spoke, drawing a deep breath and forcing a smile of her own.

'Yes, that- that is very good news, Fritha. I- I am so pleased for you… Well, I think I may retire to my room. It is getting a little crowded down here,' she continued tersely, as a group of young noblemen entered the tavern, walking up to the bar with the air of ones who were more than aware of their own importance, and Fritha concluded they were either slumming or horribly lost. 'Would anyone care to join me?'

Aerie nodded and rose as Nalia did, Fritha halfway through shaking her head when she noticed the druid's measured gaze upon her.
'N- actually, yes. Yes, I will.'

xxx

Fritha followed the two girls into Nalia's room, Aerie moving to sit on the bed, completely at ease and Fritha lingered at the door, unsure whether to join her or not. Though she had agreed to come with the pair to avoid Jaheira's interrogation, Fritha was not really in the mood for company and she was starting to feel a touch awkward now it was just the three of them. The two girls had become good friends over the last couple of days and Fritha realised suddenly how little she seemed to know either of them.

The girl had never really had any friends of her own age, bar Imoen, and it felt as though she was intruding on something she had no place in. Nalia's quick departure from the common room had shown that the unexpected meeting with her old school friends had affected her more than she had perhaps let on, and Fritha had the uncomfortable feeling that Nalia would have rather spoken with Aerie about it alone.
Fritha swallowed, trying to quell this rising unease and smiling warmly.

'So' she began, for want of anything else to say, 'how did we enjoy our first taste of life as a mercenary?'

Nalia frowned, gesturing politely for Fritha to take the only chair as she joined Aerie on the bed, clearly thinking over her reply.
'Well, it was not quite as I expected.'

'Well, if all else fails I can see a very promising career for you as a diplomat,' Fritha laughed, amused by her tact, and she was relieved to see the girls join her. 'To be fair, I can pretty much guarantee that most work we undertake will not be anywhere near as dangerous and unpleasant as that was. Consider it a trial by fire, and one you most assuredly passed.'

Nalia smiled wanly. Fritha was always so encouraging; the girl reminded her of her father in that respect, with that enviable ability to always say the right thing. To know when to laugh and when to be grave and when to just change the subject and say nothing at all.

'So,' came Aerie from next to her, and Nalia started to find the elf watching her with a gentle look, 'those girls said they knew you from school.'

Nalia nodded. Time to think on the meeting and its revelation had allowed her doubts to surface and she was feeling a whole lot less sure of herself than she had been that morning. Nalia sighed, not sure whether she was ready to talk about it or not, but the silence of the room held an insistent air and before she knew it, her mouth seemed to be moving of its own accord.

'I had been tutored privately at the castle since I was quite young, firstly by my nursemaid and then by an old scholar friend of my father's. But without any siblings or children of my own age to interact with my father was growing worried for me. Auntie too had expressed a concern that I was spending too much time with some of the younger housemaids and when I was thirteen, my fate was decided. I was to be sent to St Hilaria's Academy for Young Ladies, a school run by elderly Tyran nuns just east of Crimmor. I think my aunt was hoping I would be sent to somewhere more prestigious- even to this day I suspects she holds the place responsible for my "wild tendencies". She had been hoping school would make a lady of me, and I think Father had feared exactly the same thing. So, my father held firm with St Hilly's, a good but not especially expensive school. Most of the girls came from the families of lesser nobles or richer merchants, so they weren't too stuck-up, much to my aunt's disappointment.'

Nalia paused, her throat suddenly tight. She had not thought on any of this for years now, long buried memories of the place slowly surfacing and not all of them were pleasant.

'It was difficult sometimes… I was used to less structured teaching methods and the nuns were strict. For a long time I missed my home. But then one of the older nuns, Sister Euphemia, took me under her wing, encouraged my interest in alchemy, and I eventually made some friends of a sort, like Corallie and Hester, though they all thought I was mad.'

'Perhaps that is true friendship; the amity between those who do not understand each other,' came Fritha quietly, looking calm and composed, sat apart from them on the chair under the window with warm afternoon light haloing her.

Nalia smiled. An alchemist could spend a lifetime trying to bottle such serenity.

'Yes, I suppose so. They were supportive of me even if they didn't understand it. Like when I started sneaking out at night. For ages, they thought I was meeting a suitor for clandestine trysts! You should have heard them laugh when they found out I was just helping the poor in the nearby village.'

Nalia sighed and felt her smile fade.
'But now… perhaps it was all a game to them, something I should have grown out of. It just felt so awful this morning, stood there before people who I had once liked so much, with them looking down on me like that.'

'Oh Nalia,' sighed Fritha, her expression pained, 'I know they may have seemed a little tactless, but they were less than sober and I'm sure they meant nothing by it.'

Nalia shook her head, glancing between the pair.
'Perhaps so, but weren't you embarrassed to be stood there like that?'

Aerie shrugged, her voice small.
'I always feel a little different from everyone else.'

Nalia patted her hand gently, turning to Fritha who shrugged as well, but looked a whole lot less concerned.

'Well, not particularly, but perhaps I'm no longer sensitive to such things. After all, I went to the inauguration of a Grand Duke with the highest noble houses the Gate had to offer covered in sewage. But then,' she continued slowly, eyes narrowed as she contemplated the point, 'I doubt I would have cared any more if the King of Cormyr had been there this morning instead of your giddy little friends, so I don't think I'm the sort of person who can advise you on this.'

But she obviously looked downhearted by this admission, for Fritha sighed gently and continued on.
'Nalia, I think you have to separate things out a bit. Like the opinions of those you value, from those you don't. And what you wish to do from what is expected of you. You know, there is no shame in realising you have made a mistake,' Fritha paused to send her a measured look. 'If you wish to return to the life you once had-'

'No!' she cried, rather more forcefully than she would have liked and making Aerie jump, 'that isn't it at all. It's just…'

Nalia trailed off, unsure of how to explain the feeling. As much as she may be missing the castle, she did not miss the life there, with her aunt always watching her every move. But still, it was a strange feeling, to know she could do anything she liked now, without censure or disapproval; this new sense of freedom as frightening as it was wonderful and, at times, she felt almost overwhelmed by it.

Nalia sighed and shook her head, trying to find the words.
'It's just I am not sure how to live anymore. Before my life had structure. I was surrounded by rules, how to act, how to dress, what to say, and I knew which of them I could break. Now there are no rules and I feel worried I am not acting as I should.'

She drew a breath, unwilling to voice her fear but unable to keep silent any longer. 'What if my aunt is right? Not about me being mad, obviously, but what if I am bringing shame on the family?'

Fritha raised a contemplative eyebrow.
'Do you really believe that destroying a dangerous cult that was preying on the weak has marred you family's honour?'

Nalia frowned slightly. Well, had it? Would anything she had done so far have given her father cause to wear the tired frown he would sometimes get? Like the times he would catch her sneaking back into the castle with the dawn, or when he would find out she'd had another argument with her aunt.

'No, I don't believe so.'

Fritha nodded and sighed.
'I understand it can be difficult, living outside the rules society has lain down, but the rewards can be great as well. In the end, all you can do is act how you believe you should. I know that's not much advice, but this life is new for you; take your time, allow yourself to make mistakes and trust your own nature.' Fritha smiled warmly and Nalia felt her spirits rise. 'You know, you're one of the nicest people I've met in a long time. You'll be fine.'

'What about you, Aerie? Where were you schooled?' Fritha continued before the silence between them could grow awkward and Nalia glanced back to the elf at her side in time to see her shrug slightly.

'I didn't go to school. I was taught at home with my sisters.'

'I didn't know you had any sisters,' Nalia cut in with surprise; all the times they had talked together she had never heard Aerie speak of her family once.

'Yes, two. My mother taught us herself when we were younger. She was a mage, a devotee of Aerdrie Faenya, and she taught all three of us to read, write and use numbers, as well as the history of our people and other lands. Then, once we were older, we had tutors. Euripal was the first to get one, being the eldest, but also the most focused.'

Aerie smiled gently, eyes gazing out at something only she could see as she continued.

'She must have been drawn to music from an early age for I can't remember a time when the house wasn't filed with the sound of her singing or practising her flute; there was even talk of sending her to the music school over in the east of the city. I wonder if she ever went…'

She trailed off and for a moment she looked sad, before the smile was pulling at her mouth once more.
'Helia, my other sister, was the complete opposite. She never seemed to know what she wanted to do, always drifting from one thing to the other, she must have gone through nearly every teacher in the city! One day she wanted to be a painter, the next a seamstress, then a dancer. But she was so good-natured, my parents indulged her; Father said she would find her place in time.'

'And what of you?' asked Nalia, fascinated by this description of the family she had not even realised the elf possessed. Aerie smiled shyly.

'Oh, some of my earliest memories are of joining my mother at our local temple, watching her use the Weave to help others, so it only seemed natural that I should follow her in her work. I learnt from my mother until she died, and then taught myself from the books she left.'

'Is that what you used to do in the circus? Magic?'

Aerie nodded.
'Yes, I was an illusionist, like Kalah, though our acts tended to be quite different. And I was the assistant for Keva the knife-thrower and I helped collect the tickets and sell sweets and lots of other little things; everyone has to take on lots of roles in a circus, especially a small one.'

'You've been with the circus a while then,' Nalia confirmed, 'you must know the city pretty well.'

But Aerie shook her head brightly.
'Oh no, we'd only just been in Athkatla a tenday when I met Fritha. The circus would travel Amn from Ches to the middle of Eleasias and wintered in a city,' the elf explained, Nalia noting the past tense she used to do so, though she said nothing. 'Last year it was Crimmor, the year before, Keczulla.'

'Keczulla,' Nalia repeated eagerly, 'oh, Mother's parents used to live there, though they are long passed now. Do the olive trees still line the main avenue up to the town hall? I remember Grandfather would take me along there in the late autumn and put me on his shoulders until I'd collected an apron full, then we would walk to the river to sit and share them as we watched the herons fishing.'

Aerie dipped her face, looking uncomfortable.
'Ah, I- I'm not sure. The circus was camped on the other side of the city and I didn't like to go far from it…' she confessed quietly.

'Oh…'

Silence seemed to fall between them again, Nalia drawing a breath and turning stalwartly to their leader, the girl sat chewing her bottom lip and looking distant.

'So what of you, Fritha?'

The girl started slightly, glancing to her with a confused look before she seemed to realise herself, shrugging nonchalantly.

'Oh, I was just given lessons by the sages back in Candlekeep, and I did a lot of reading myself, I suppose. You know the sort of thing, history, geography, the sciences. They didn't seem to care what I was studying, as long as I was learning something.'

But Nalia did not share her indifference.
'Candlekeep?' she repeated; the library fortress was legendary as a centre for knowledge throughout Faerûn. 'You were sent there for your education?'

'What? Oh no,' the girl laughed gently, 'I grew up there. My foster father, Gorion, was one of the sages. I'd never set foot outside its walls until this spring, Gorion died soon afterwards and I've just been travelling ever since.'

'Just been travelling?' repeated Aerie with an incredulity that matched Nalia's own, 'Fritha, you're one of the heroes of Baldur's Gate!'

Fritha gave a dismissive snort.
'That was something decided after the fact; I could just as easily be sitting before you now as the Scourge of Baldur's Gate and with no change to anything I did whilst there.'

Fritha hadn't meant it as a joke, but the two girls seemed to find it quite funny all the same, both giggling merrily. Fritha shrugged to herself; perhaps she would have found it amusing as well had the whole affair not been so steeped in death, and there was something about being sentenced to hang one moment and hailed as a hero the next that she had found wholly irritating.
"People are by nature fickle…" Tethtoril reminded behind her eyes and she found herself nodding in agreement, Aerie's voice starting her from the thought.

'I'm getting hungry, should we go down to dinner?' Nalia looked unsure a moment and the elf smiled. 'Or we could have some sent up here. Shall I go and order for us?'

It was agreed, and Aerie disappeared downstairs, returning moments later with a carafe of ale and some cups, the food arriving with the maid soon after and they ate and drank with amity, the talk of the Gate sparking off a conversation about where they had each travelled, Fritha giving the girls a very abridged account of the iron crisis as she had seen it.

Fritha sighed, stretching slightly where she lay on the hearthrug, her chair promoted to the status of table and carrying the remains of her dinner. The combination of the ale and the heat had done nothing for her head, a pain that seemed to centre on her bruised temple throbbing through her skull. It was definitely time to retire for the evening.

She rose stiffly from the floor, offering Nalia a smile that the girl returned. Like many things, time would be the healer here.
'Well, I'm quite tired,' Fritha sighed, crossing to the door, 'I think I'll have an early night. Sleep well.'

The girls nodded and Fritha left them talking quietly, moving back into the hall and more than looking forward to the solitude of her room, though it seemed she had merely postponed her fate rather than avoided it, her hand mere inches from the door handle when she heard her name spoken.

Heavy with resignation, she turned to see Jaheira standing in her own doorway with the air of someone who had been listening for her arrival. The woman sent her a measured look and it took all Fritha's will then not to fly into her room and bar the door shut behind her.

'Fritha, I thought it was you,' Jaheira began, her tone of casual surprise fooling no one. 'I am aware you are tired,' the woman continued quickly, cutting off her anticipated objection and moving to stand next to her, 'but we have not really had a chance to speak yet today. I know you explained very clearly your views on Imoen's imprisonment earlier-'
Too clearly, Fritha considered as she saw the doubt in the woman's eyes; it seemed she too could do with some practise in the finer subtleties of acting when it came to the druid.
'-but,' Jaheira sighed, 'I understand how it could upset someone all the same…'

Fritha felt her stomach tighten. Jaheira was right, of course, and perhaps if the druid had been there at the temple when she had first found out and not Anomen, she would have felt more able to speak of her fears. But now it seemed too late.
Fritha had spent so long convincing herself there was nothing to worry about, that she did dare not admit it now; speaking the words aloud somehow making the danger all the more real, and the image of her trying to voice her concerns and just breaking down into noisy tears in the middle of the hallway was not an appealing one. The girl swallowed dryly and shrugged, a grin pulling at her mouth.

'Come now, Jaheira, I'm fine; you know what they say, no sense, no feeling,' she laughed, making to turn into her room. Jaheira caught her elbow.

'Fritha…'

She turned back to give the druid her most winning smile.
'Really, I'm fine. It doesn't change anything. Imoen is still imprisoned and we still have to rescue her. I mean, it's a lot better her being there than some dungeon, isn't it?'

Jaheira stared at her a moment longer and Fritha let her smile lessen slightly, her face take on the open almost inviting look of one baring the innermost secrets of their soul up for scrutiny; the one she had always used when lying to Gorion.
'Really, Jaheira,' she continued, her voice softer, 'it's okay.'
Jaheira smiled finally, tired but genuine, releasing her arm to pat it gently and disappearing back into her room.
It had always worked too, Fritha considered darkly, turning into her own room and closing the door firmly behind her.

But as much as Fritha had played up the fact she was exhausted, she wasn't really tired and found herself at quite a loss once she closed the door, the room lying empty about her. She sighed, sinking on to the bed, absently wishing she still had her lute; many a dull evening in Candlekeep flying by once she'd picked up the instrument. The girl had often settled down at some hour of the afternoon, only starting to suddenly find herself in darkness, so intent upon her playing that she would not even notice the sun set.

But wishing did the usual 'very little' and she settled on practising her scales, though she stopped halfway through the second octave, embarrassed by the thought that others could hear, her voice coming strangled and wavering from a nerve constricted throat. And so for want of anything else to do she changed into her shift, drew the curtains and crawled into bed.

Fritha lay there in the gloom, trying to further the few stories she kept in her mind for when she could not sleep. But each one seemed to take a turn for the darker as she let them flow behind her eyes; Alecto lost the baby she was carrying, Lyda's newly discovered love with Robert was cut short when she suddenly found him abed with a rival, and poor Dieth's ship sank with all hands!

Fritha huffed crossly, turning over her pillow as she would have liked to turn over her troubled mind. Through the wall, she could hear the undulating chant of Jaheira's prayers and she frowned. They were all at it; her, the avariel, the squire.
Had they learnt nothing of the nature of gods from Sassar or the guardians?
Praying to those who thought no more of mortals than as objects and servants, who manipulated their lives as though the world was a game…

Of course, she had been known to utter a prayer now and then, when one of her more pious friends had seemed to need it, but she found herself approaching the thing less as exalting worship and more as a sort of deal; a prayer here, some help there. Which was probably why it never seemed to do much, she concluded glumly.

Still, Fritha considered, even the gods were not invincible and fate controlled them too. How else could Bhaal have foreseen his own death, if it was not already written?
And at that moment of realisation, she felt such a pang of sympathy for that dark dead god that she almost laughed. How foolish to feel pity for such a being, especially after what he had wrought once he'd discovered it. But who was not to say they wouldn't have done something similar, clung to existence with as desperate a grip, if presented with proof of their own immanent demise?

Fritha sighed, staring up at the cracked ceiling, the room stained sepia as dusk fell in the world outside, Imoen's face swimming behind her eyes.
Of course, it was foolish and not to mention pointless to worry about things you could not change and, indeed, there were much worse places Imoen could be. But however many times she reminded herself of these valid points, Fritha was still unable to suppress the image of her friend in some bright white cell, faceless men in stark black robes observing her through the bars, silent and watchful.

Fritha sighed again, giving up on sleep and moving to the open window, laying her head upon the sill to stare out at the still twilight rooftops, a pale ghost of a moon just visible in the fading western sky, and in that instant her desire to just run away was almost palpable.
In her mind it all seemed so simple, and she saw herself just grabbing her bag and cloak to leap from the window, from rooftop to rooftop heading for the docks or city gates, anywhere to make her escape.

Fritha smiled humourlessly. She may be good with twisting the truth, but she was not so skilled yet as to fool herself. She could not flee from this for she carried it inside her. Imoen.
Fritha felt her chest constrict at the thought. The knowledge that the girl's life lay with her was a heavy burden and she knew, however far she ran, she would find no peace until her friend was safe.

But then… she considered, watching the clouds drift into the deepening night. She and Imoen had planned it together in Ulgoth's Beard, their daring escape east.
But could they just leave Jaheira and Minsc behind now they were alone in the world? They might want vengeance on Irenicus… so might Imoen, for that matter, which would more than likely cause untold problems; the Cowled Wizards unlikely to just allow them to execute one of their new patients, however justified it seemed.

Fritha had no desire to meet the mage again, revenge be damned, and she felt her skin bristle, the memories of that filthy cage and the tortures she'd endured rushing in to haunt her.

It would be another long night…