003. Outsides.
With a loud thud, Naruto had been send through the sky and fell hard onto the ground, making skid marks all over the place – which makes sense as it was a punch, a combination that mainly consists of force and speed from none other than a certain pink haired Konoichi with green orbs, and we all know that she possesses an amazingly and enormous strength.
It had made him sliding all over the wet and short grass. 'Ouccchh', was all what our dear and poor Naruto could mutter as his face had been the main sliding part. His legs dangled high above his head in the sky, scratches and small wounds covered the said part of his face, his expression blank as he suffered from brain-deadness. Well, Naruto had been suffering from that a long while, nonetheless…
Naruto had now learnt his lesson to speak appropriate in front of a lady, which includes no cursing, and never tell her that, whenever she's mad or cranky, she must be having her time of the month, also known as the period, feared by many men in Konohagakure – especially when it spoke of a certain Hokage and her fists of doom.
---
Tenzou had one hand placed upon his hip, and hit himself on the forehead with the other in defeat and slight disappointment, 'Naruto..'.
'BAKA!', Sakura muttered as she made her way towards Naruto with steady and heavy steps, fist clenched and arms following the movement of her legs. Her face and dead-stare expression were more terrifying than Tenzou's ghoul face could ever be.
'Senpai, shouldn't we do something?', Tenzou asked as he turned to his superior, who was casually sitting behind him upon a low rock and was reading his beloved romantic (or, how normal people would look at it; perverted, Tenzou stated) novel. His eyes were glued to the page, caring very little about his surroundings, 'Hmm?'. His eyes never left the page, instead, they kept shifting through the lines on a rather steady pace and he chuckled, it couldn't sound even more perverted.
Tenzou frowned due to the lacking of Kakashi's interest for his own pupils, his eyes were still glued to the pages. The corner of Tenzou's lips twitched promising, 'Unbelievable..'.
The fact was, Kakashi had been doing this ever since Tenzou had been on Kakashi's team as a captain, letting Tenzou take the blame for every single little thing that had happened between the two young Ninja's.
He placed his hands onto his hips, pouted his lips and came to the conclusion that his Senpai needed to be taught a lesson. 'Senpai!', he suddenly stammered as he grabbed the precious book from his superiors silk fingers, his eyebrows frowned in slight frustration. This caused the older man to react, his one single-visible eye widened in minor shock as his hand, that was holding the aqua-colored book previously before Tenzou grabbed it, started to reach to it. He yammered and whined as a small enfant, 'Maah! Yamato, give it back!'
Tenzou, however, didn't budge and hold the book only a little higher, 'You want it back, huh?'. A mischievous grin appeared on his face, his eyes twinkling at the mere thought of his prank set into action.
Kakashi's eyebrow quirked up once, this caused Tenzou to grin even more; knowing that the man before him had signed his death. 'You know I can easily get up and grab it, right?', Kakashi asked as he let his hands hang, more or less dangle, between his legs, giving up.
Tenzou nodded in understanding, 'Well, Senpai. I doubt it that you will retrieve it from me. Why? I have two reasons for your sorry little ass. One, you're godlike lazy. And two, that doesn't mean I will easily let go off that thing, unlike you, I ám persistent and get what I want,' Yamato grinned mischievous again, 'Now, do you want it back?'
Kakashi, slightly stunned by the sudden change of heart of his Kohai – of whom he thought he knew and apparently, he didn't, nodded in return.
'Good. Ever since I came in your team, you've been treating me badly,' Tenzou had been knotting his eyebrows furiously at first, but suddenly smiled, 'But no more. You have to do two things, after those things, you will get it back-'.
Kakashi raised his index finger, holding it slightly into the air as if to protest. In fact, his mouth had been already opened, if it wasn't for Tenzou cutting him off, 'You have my promise, Senpai'.
'Fine,' the older man sighed deeply, disencouraged, as he hung his head down, scratching the back of his skull lazily on his unique way, 'What do I have to do?
Tenzou grinned smugly as he started to put the book away in one of his pockets, Sweet victory.
He noticed that Kakashi had been watching him do so for as long as it took him, of course Tenzou couldn't refuse the temptation and started to put it away verrrrrrrry sloooowwwwlyyy. Kakashi's eyes were fixated at the small greenish looking novel, keeping a very close eye on it – as if he was scared that Tenzou had evil plans with a certain said novel. But little did he know that his assumptions were correct.
When Tenzou finally had placed the novel away and regained Kakashi's interest – which was most of the time noticeable if he looks right at you-, he continued to explain further, 'For now, you have to stop Sakura from beating the living daylight out of Naruto,' Kakashi sighed, not wanting to interfere between the two as he was sure he'd be a victim of her enormous strength too if he did, 'Understood, Senpai?', Tenzou asked with a sly smirk plastered upon his face.
Kakashi nodded as he rubbed his fingers across his forehead to the bridge of his nose, how the hell was he going to get out of this?
'I know what you're thinking, Senpai, but you better hurry', Tenzou reached for something in his pocket, 'That is, if you want this back', he said while he dangled the precious book in front of Kakashi's vision. Kakashi literally moaned in protest, hit his forehead with his head and whined childlike, 'Do I really have to?'
'Senpai!', the younger man demanded strictly.
'All right, all right,' Kakashi immediately got onto his feet, 'Hold your horses, you really should remove that stick from your butt, Kohai'.
Tenzou pouted his lips as his eyebrow immediately twitched at the use of the rare word, simply to make sure that Tenzou realized in what mood and state Kakashi currently was in, 'Be my guest and remove it for me, will you?'
Kakashi immediately looked over his shoulder, turning round ever so slightly to stare – more or less gape with an open mouth- at his peer for his strange behavior, 'Excuse me?'
The younger man grinned, 'Never mind. Just hurry up, will you? Even Gai will realize faster that he doesn't possess the 'power of youth' anymore, I heard him crack his back last week'.
Actually, that was pretty funny.
'Right', Kakashi turned around and shook his head slightly, trying to block the image that crossed his mind involving a certain Gai with a cane, he smirked to himself. He waggled, more fully wobbling, his way towards the half-dead Jinchuuriki and the furious pink haired Konoichi.
---
Tenzou had been watching the whole scenery, one of his hands had been covering his mouth, while the other was placed on his stomach. Not because it was gruesome, well, it actually was for Kakashi, but he was really trying to hold his laughter. The corners of his lips were curving promisingly as he saw and heard every fist that dangerously made it's way and touched a piece of Kakashi meat.
Kakashi came promising back, too. His hands were dangling beside his legs, as if he had giving up on life and you could see he was dragging himself to walk back to Tenzou. His expression was terrified – his one visible eye was wide in mere shock, his headband had been partly ripped off (Sakura really has sharp nails, for special occasions like these) – as well had been his vest and some ends of his hair. Some visible places were already covered with black bruises.
Tenzou chuckled, pushing his hand harder against his lips while he tried to maintain some seriousness in his pose. He failed horribly when Kakashi started to speak, well, more mutter on a high squeaky tone, 'So… strong…no.. more,.. please'.
As Tenzou continued to roll over the floor due to laughter, Kakashi just looked at him – clenching his fist furiously as flames and fire started to rise in the older man's single lazily eye, 'That's sooooo not funny'.
----
'I bet it was one of your most wild experiences', Tenzou said as he finally got up and removed a single tear from under his eye with his index finger, 'Ah, such brilliance'.
Kakashi muttered something under his breath as he unclenched his fists. 'Hmm?', Tenzou looked up, a sly grin appearing upon his face.
'Nothing,' Kakashi muttered softly, sighing lightly, 'What do I have to do now?'
'You'd be surprised', Tenzou kept trying to look smug, a failed attempt but what did he know, as he approached Kakashi. Kakashi raised one of his eyebrows, being rather uncomfortable in these situations, 'You're not going to rape me, are you? '
'I'm not going to r-,' Tenzou suddenly blanked, 'What? What do you take me for?!'
'Well, for a person who won't, you really got that I'm-gonna-rape-u-stare down. What have you been doing in ANBU after I left?', Kakashi suddenly started to grin perversely, his lazy eye slightly crooked and closed as his face intruded Tenzou's personal space – heck, it was only an inch or so away from his.
'Very funny, Senpai, but you're just rotating around the real subject here. That's your next assignment, come here'. Tenzou leaned in near Kakashi's ear and placed his hand before his mouth as he whispered Kakashi's next assignment.
Kakashi's eye widened again, 'You want me to do WHAT?'
Tenzou shrugged lazily and placed his hands onto his hips, he bent forward, 'If you're not going to do it, you won't get it back and I will personally burn that book of yours'.
A smile crept upon the younger man's face, the corners of his lips curved slightly as he watched how Kakashi's brain started to work - hard. After a short silence, including a certain Copy Ninja and pulling hard onto the silver locks, he decided he had no choice, 'Fine. Let's do it'.
'That's my Senpai,' Tenzou pouted his lips in thought while the hands remained on their said places, 'I think I can arrange some of those things'.
'I was already afraid you might say that', Kakashi muttered as he shut his eyes at the mere thought of it.
----
There he was, standing on the square of Konoha. This wasn't unusual for him to do, he often stopped dead in his tracks and looked around him, watching people. Sometimes he watched them from the side line.
But today, it was different. It was unusual. He was now the centre of the attention as people formed a circle around him. Naruto, Sakura and Tenzou had been the ones who were watching him from the side line, rolling all over the floor due to laughter.
Kakashi had had an extreme make-over; there were rubber bands in his hair with the most disgusting and floristic colors, such as bright pink, purple and blue. He now got several ponytails.
Aside from that, he wore the most hideous make-up that existed, blue mascara and a soft pink tone eyeshade. A hearty shade of red had been painted on his lips and it didn't fit the rubber bands, nor with his outfit.
And his outfit was a real charm, the one where Sakura had been the most proud of. He wore a skirt, one that reached the halve of upper leg and it's color was white combined with a small bright pink circle pattern. His shirt had been the lightest shade of pink that he was wearing and it had a low cut. To make him even more feminine, if it was possible, Tenzou had asked Shizune to steal a bra from Tsunade. He made Kakashi wear it and had placed watermelons in it to make it more real.
The finishing touch were the silhouette high heels – the most ugliest shade of pink had been used and it had amazed Tenzou and his partners in crime how well Kakashi could walk on it when he had tried them on the first time.
Overall, Kakashi looked like a cheap whore with sexy and hairy legs, who would be capable of doing everything when being provoked on the right way.
But this wasn't all - it had been a small part of the assignment. So, to complete the assignment, Kakashi placed the small stereo down on the pavement in front of him. He pushed the play button and the song 'Caramell Dansen' came from it's speakers. Kakashi sighed to himself and had the urge to hit himself hard.
'Woooo! Show me some hip movement, foxy thang!', Tenzou suddenly shouted from his first row seats, his hands pressed tightly against the corners of his lips to increase the shouting. This caused only more laughter and tears rolling over cheeks.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow as he scratched the back of his skull nervously, being thankful that Tenzou had rather lenient so he could keep his mask on. Everybody, including Gai and his pupils, were watching him curiously. Most of the were shocked and anxious to wait what would happen, others were simply laughing and wetting their selves due to it.
'Is that my bra?!', Tsunade suddenly blurted out, pointing her finger at the transsexual Kakashi as she noticed the familiar straps. As she turned to look at Shizune, Shizune only looked away in innocence.
After a brief moment of silence, Kakashi placed his hands on either side of his head, placed his feet/legs almost against each other and began to shake his hips and dancing perfectly to the song.
---
Kakashi sighed heavily as he turned the lock from his apartment door, the small stereo had been securely wrapped under his left arm as he had managed to walk to his apartment and actually walking up the stairs with those damned high heels – and not to speak of how badly they had been aching his feet, because the size had been a few sizes smaller than his own.
He tried to kick them off, but instead, he lost his balance and fell hard onto the floor and the precious stereo, shattering it all over the place.
'Damn.. straps!', Kakashi breathed as he opened the straps, undid himself from the horrifying shoes and threw them against his wall, 'That Tenzou, I will get him back!'
Today had been a pure tortuous hell. He would be the laughing stock of Konohagakure tomorrow and the upcoming days, he knew it.
As he rubbed his aching feet, he wanted to do nothing more than to sit on his bed and read his precious and beloved book after the exhausting day. However, Tenzou had never given the book back, even if he had finished the assignments and completed them fantastically.
'Idiot', he murmured as he got up, waggled his way to his refrigerator, opened it and grabbed a sake bottle out of it. He took a long sip from it while he removed the many rubber bands from his hair. He made his way to the bathroom, leaving the bottle on the counter. He watched himself in the mirror, 'Ridiculous'.
He turned the tap on and splashed water onto his face as he watched his reflection. Eventually, he removed all the make-up and cleaned and dried himself. He sighed heavily as he switched the light off, he then went back to the kitchen and grabbed the sake bottle to take a big gulp of it. He took the bottle with him to his bedroom.
As he switched the light on, he found a surprise lying on his bed.
'Why, hello there, young lady', Tenzou rested his head upon one of his hands and played with the soft bed sheet with his other one, stroking it and letting it slide/brush between his fingers, 'Care to remove that stick out of my butt now?'
Kakashi grinned, noticing that his beloved book was placed upon Tenzou's head, 'Sure', he said as he approached the bed as a hungry predator.
A/N: That sure was a long story, wasn't it? I couldn't manage to even try to get it down – I think it would be no good for the story itself. I was going more to the humor side instead of the whole sexual themed one, hope I managed to do that!
I hope you all enjoyed reading it, felt sorry for poor Kakashi!, had some chuckles, laughed and so on. I'm really surprised what you think about this, so hit that review button and share your thoughts! Critique is encouraged!