Act I

There's a boat in the middle of the ocean where Meg was working as a fisherman for some reason; she was distracted by the serenity of the calm blue ocean when she was hit by a fish.

"Hey, loser, stop staring at the ocean!" the captain demanded "Get back to work, boy!"

"I'm a girl!" Meg corrected.

"Whatever" the captain said "Gentlemen, secure the deck; we just got a distress call from a rig due west of us. I repeat, secure the deck!"

Then Meg saw the oil rig in flames and somehow she could hear the people yelling for help from the oil rig.

"What's going on, Captain?" a fisherman asked.

"Loser, fetch me my binoculars" the captain ordered to Meg, but she didn't respond "Loser!" he turned to see Meg had disappeared.

Unbeknownst to them, Meg was now on the oil rig, attempting a rescue of the people aboard the oil rig.

"This is the last of the oxygen!" oil rig worker #1 said panicked "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

*SLAP*

"Get some balls, man!" oil rig worker #2 demanded "There must be a way to get out of here!"

Suddenly they saw the metal door being torn aside and Meg emerged through the oil rig fire.

"Don't worry, I came to rescue you guys" Meg said.

"Who the hell are you?" oil rig worker #1 asked.

"It doesn't matter, just follow me to the exit" Meg said.

Then the Coast Guard came to the rescue as they saw Meg emerging out of the oil rig with the workers. The helicopter landed and Meg helped the oil rig workers get onto the helicopter, then just as the helicopter is about to take off, she saw the burning oil rig about to collapse on the helicopter.

"Get that last guy loaded. We have got to go!" Coast Guard #1 ordered.

"Hey, let's go! What are you doing?" Coast Guard #2 asked

At that moment Meg manages to hold off the large heavy metal collapsing from the oil rig onto the helicopter; the helicopter manages to take off safely, but finally collapsed and took Meg into the ocean.

*BOOM*

The oil rig exploded, but the helicopter was safe. Meg ended floating in the ocean as she started her monologue.

I bet you're wondering: what the hell was all that? Well, since this is a Zack Snyder movie where nobody gives two craps about the narrative, I'll explain them through flashbacks. Yeah, it's not a surprise for me since we always tell our stories through flashbacks. Okay, everything began when we were camping in the mountains.

Flashback

The Griffins were in the mountains, walking, breathing fresh air, dragging Chris to the mountain, etc. But then Peter's Flash Gordon watch was caught by a crow.

"Hey, that's my Limited Edition Flash Gordon Watch!" Peter complained as he threw a rock, making the crow drop the watch, but it ended up landing on the point of a thick branch "Meg, go get it"

"What?" Meg asked "Why me?"

"You want me to love you? Then do it" Peter said.

"Here honey, hang on the rope for safety" Lois said.

Meg sighed as she took the rope and hang on to the thick branch. However, as she did so, the branch began to crack under the girl's weight.

"Hurry up, honey!" Lois said.

"Yeah, maybe I won't make you sleep outside tonight!" Peter said.

"I'm beginning to wonder why I'm still your friend" Brian said unimpressed.

Meg finally grabbed hold of the watch.

"I got it!" Meg said, but then…

*CRACK*

The branch broke and Meg fell down.

"MEG!" Lois screamed.

But Meg hang on to the rope while her family (yeah, even Peter) pulled on it, so she can climb.

"Don't let go!" Brian said.

*CRACK*

Unfortunately the rope snapped and Meg fell down the cliff.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Meg screamed falling down until she ended on a giant black rock "OW!"

The fall was bad enough that she would die from internal injuries. But then she saw the black rock glowing red.

"What is that…?" Meg asked hardly standing up and getting closer to the rock.

She extended her arm to touch it and then…

*FLASH*

Meg received the glowing light of the rock and she felt her body changing. We see Meg's organs (animated in CGI) from inside: her heart started bumping 1,000 times faster; her brain generated even more electricity, her lungs bumped too much oxygen on her blood, accelerating her blood cells and her muscle cells turned hard as the steel.

I'm supposed to be dead…but somehow…this strange meteorite revived me. Oh my god! That means there IS a God and he doesn't hate me! WOO-HOO!

The screen turned white.

Flashback's end

Meg was still in the ocean and she was being observed by a sea sponge and a starfish.

"Is that a squirrel like Sandy, SpongeBob?" Patrick asked.

"I don't know, Patrick" SpongeBob said "Maybe a jellyfish can wake her up!"

*buzz*

"Ugh…what?" Meg asked.

"That's weird, why she didn't get a sting?" Patrick asked.

"It's…A SEA MONSTER, RUN!" SpongeBob screamed as they swan down to Bikini Bottom.

Meg, in her tattered tank top and pants, ran into someone's backyard and quickly stole some clothes from the back of an open car. Then a redneck came out for his clothes, but they were gone.

"Dog gone it!" the redneck cursed "I need to hunt down a bear to exert all the rage I have inside right now. Woman, where's my shotgun!"

IN YOUR CLOSET WHERE YOU ALWAYS KEEP IT!

"Please, don't shout at me, dear" the redneck, nervous "This is why Dr. Schwartz wants us to go to anger management"

After grabbing some clothes, Meg walked into a small town and noticed a little school.

Yeah, seeing a school reminds me of the day when I first discovered my powers.

Flashback

She was in her high school class and her teacher was writing something on the black board.

"Ms. Griffin, do you know the answer to this math problem?"

But Meg looked at the teacher and her heightened senses (x-ray vision, hearing, etc.) started to overwhelm her.

"AH!" Meg screamed in horror after watching his teacher's and classmates' skeletons and ran away, "What the hell is wrong with me?!"

She ran so fast that her speed became supersonic.

*CRASH*

She went through a wall, getting out of the school. She continued running super fast all around the city: she ran through a fruit stand, obliterating it, a pet show, releasing all the animals, and ran so fast past a couple that the resulting wind tore off their clothes, leaving the woman in her undergarments, and the man...in the same kind of undergarments?

"Uh…I can explain this" the man said.

She just couldn't control her speed. But finally, she focused for a second and…she finally stopped. She was in the middle of a desert

"Whoa…that was…" Meg said as she turned around and she saw her road drift (Back to the Future-style) "I can't believe it…" then a rock fell over her "AH!"

*CRACK*

Fortunately, she didn't get crushed.

"Wait…I'm okay" Meg said.

"YES, I AFTER ALL THESE YEARS…!" Will E. Coyote cheered until he realized it wasn't the Road Runner "Wait, you're not the bird"

"Really? A rock?" Meg asked "That's the best you do?"

"I don't trust ACME anymore" Will E. Coyote answered.

Flashback's end

Then Meg noticed a school bus driving past her and she started having yet ANOTHER flashback.

Hey, if you don't like my flashbacks, then watch another movie. No wonder why this movie was criticized for its pacing.

Flashback

She was on a school bus going on a field trip when she started getting mocked by a guy (the same obnoxious guy from the episodes 'The Hand that Rocks the Wheelchair' and 'You Can't do this on Television, Peter').

"Ha, ha, your stupid hat looks you look more stupid!" the obnoxious guy said.

"Hey, please leave the lady alone" Neil said.

"Or what? Do you want a knuckle sandwich?" the obnoxious guy asked raising his fist.

Suddenly the bus got a flat tire and the driver swerves off a bridge and into the lake.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" everybody screamed as the bus crashed into the water.

As soon as the bus splashed down, water began to pour in through the cracks in the windows and the bus was filling up with water. The men tried to utilize the emergency exit, but it was jammed...

"WHY ISN'T THE DOOR OPENING?!" One student screamed.

"IT'S JAMMED!" Another student cried.

"OH, WHY DID I HAVE TO ENROLL IN SUCH A CRAPPY SCHOOL?!" A student melodramatically yelled.

*Hans Zimmer's kickass music plays*

(A/E: I don't care if critics say the soundtrack is 'overproduced' and 'pretentious'. Hans Zimmer is the new John Williams!)

Meg, immediately sensing everyone's distress, used her strength to burst through the back door of the bus (without anyone noticing) and went to the front of the bus and began pushing the bus to the surface. In matters of seconds, the bus burst out of the lake and landed along the shore of the beach. As everyone filed out of the bus, they saw who saved them and was shocked that it was none other than the biggest loser ever, Meg (Neil being most surprised that his crush was their savior). Then Meg heard the cries of help made by the obnoxious guy, who was struggling to keep afloat.

"Help, I can't swim!" the obnoxious guy screamed.

Meg just went back to the lake to save him.

"Did she…?" Gina asked.

"Nah, her? Nobody is strong enough to push a bus out of the water" Scott answered.

But Connie, for some reason, was very curious about Meg's newfound power.

Later, the obnoxious guy's mother, along with him, met the Griffins about what happened during the school trip.

"My son was there, he saw what your daughter did" the mother said.

"Come on, Meg? She couldn't lift a piano if she tried" Peter said.

But Lois saw Meg outside of the garden; she knew her daughter was hiding something. So she came out to talk to her.

"Meg, something is wrong with you" Lois said "Ever since you came back from the hospital, you started acting...different"

"Oh, really?" Meg asked sarcastically.

"I'm serious, Dr. Hartman said you were fine, despite falling off a cliff and landing on a big rock, in which that should had killed you." Lois answered "Why won't you tell me?"

"Why should I? Nobody is gonna believe me anyway" Meg said.

"Meg, people are starting to ask questions." Lois said, "You have to tell us, so we can find a way to hide this! You can't go off and start rescuing people!"

"What was I supposed to do?" Meg asked "Just let them teenagers die?"

"…maybe" Lois answered.

"WHAT?!" Meg asked outraged "You prefer to see teenagers die rather than revealing my secret?!"

"Uh…yeah?" Lois asked.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Meg asked.

"Hey, don't blame me, blame that awfully written script (A/E: Yeah, I hate to admit it, but they should check their screenplay twice)" Lois said "*sigh* Please, Meg, you gotta trust me"

"Okay, just hang on to my back" Meg said.

"Hanging on to your back?" Lois commented "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard"

"Just do it!" Meg said as Lois reluctantly hung on to her daughter's back "Now, hold on"

"Meg, this is ridic…" Lois said as Meg starting running at a supersonic speed "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

They traveled the whole city up to the mountains where Meg found the meteorite.

"Here we are, quite a trip, huh?" Meg asked.

"I…I…" Lois said traumatized, even her hair turned into a mess.

"Follow me" Meg told as she brought her mother to a cave where Meg hid the meteorite "This is the rock that gave me superpowers. I wanted to keep it a secret, because I knew it that if the government found it, they would take me and perform experiments that makes Umbrella from Resident Evil look like a cancer treatment society" she took out a key with a 'S' logo on it "This piece of metal came with the meteorite. I studied it carefully and whatever it was made from didn't exist at all on the periodic table. That means my powers are not from this world, Mom. I don't know who sent it, but there must be a reason. And I must findthat reason. Look: maybe this is hard to believe, but I'm still your daughter" but she realized her mother fallen asleep "MOM!"

"*waking up* Huh, what? Sorry, honey, I forgot that I hate exposition" Lois said "Anyway, since you became super powerful, you have to promise to never reveal your powers to anyone"

"Okay, mom" Meg said "I promise I will never, ever tell anyone that I have superpowers"

"I heard everything" a random bat said, but Megimmediately jumped up and grabbed him, and tore his wings off "OW! YOU BITCH!"

"Did anyone else hear anything?!" Meg threatened. In response, all the bats flew out of the cave in fear...

Flashback's end

Meanwhile, in Quahog's daily news building, Neil entered the editor's room where he met the editor, who looks a lot like J. Jonah Jameson from Spider-Man.

"No, you listen to me: give me a REAL story or YOU'RE FIRED!" 'Mr. Jameson' shouted through phone, as he slammed it shut, and then turned to Neil, "Who the hell are you?!"

"I'm Neil Goldman from James Woods High School and I'm looking for a job…" Neil said.

"JOB?!" 'Mr. Jameson asked "How dare you come to ask me for a job?! I'm looking for stories about superheroes to frame them without any reason…!"

He continued ranting as security appeared to take him away; then the REAL editor appeared, don't ask me why he looks like the actor who played Morpheus from the Matrix, but older.

"Please, forgive our janitor; he comes here every time he has a bad day" the editor said "Perry White"

"Neil Goldman from James Woods High School, I am here to participate for college credit in journalism" Neil said "I wanna become a reporter"

"Hey, I saw you on TV once" Perry said "You were that intern who reported the Media Murderer segment. Why would you want to do something as old-fashioned as journalism?"

"It's more real than television" Neil said "I mean: 'Atheist liberals burning bibles'? What kind of stupidity is this?"

Flashback

We see Brian along with other atheists burning bibles.

"I know it feels wrong; but what the hell, it's full of crap anyway" Brian said throwing the bible to the fire.

"Amen to that, brother!" Axel said, as he was backing up a dump truck with a lot of bibles, dumping the contents into the fire.

(A/E: I promised Axel a cameo in this movie)

Flashback's end

"You know: I like your attitude" Perry said "Listen: the USA army found something big in the Arcticand…"

"I'll take it" Neil said.

"Wait, are you sure?" Perry asked.

"If I'm going to be a reporter, I gotta be the best" Neil said as he looked at some blue pills "Wow, are these blue M&Ms?" he grabbed a fistful of the pills and ate one.

"No, those are…never mind" Perry said "Just get me the story, you have one week"

"I won't let you down, Whitey" Neil said trying to sound cool as he leaves.

"That's not my name" Perry said.

Meanwhile, in the Arctic, Meg was climbing the snowy mountains. She had the feeling that she found something related with the key she's carrying. She found a giant frozen spaceship. Then she realized there was the US army investigating the ship. She carefully sneaked her way through without getting caught. Utilizing her heat vision, she made her way into the cave and made it to the spaceship. As soon as she entered it, she quickly found a levitating robot.

"Oh, hi there, little fella" Meg greeted.

The robot stood motionless...but Meg noticed a slot that matched her 'S' key and putting two and two together, she was about to plug her key in, but before she could, another robot behind her lashed out at her and attacked her.

"Hey, what's your problem?!" Meg asked as the second kept attacking.

She managed to fend it off and entered his key into the robot, after which the ghost of Jor-El appeared and started walking off.

"Hello?" Meg asked.

Meg started following Jor-El's ghost.

Meanwhile, Neil entered the ship and found the Kryptonian service robot.

"Oh my god, is this real?" Neil asked taking out her camera to take a photo "Forget college; this will give me a Pulitzer…"

*FLASH*

Unfortunately this provoked it and caused it to attack him. Meg heard his voice and went to the rescue. The robot continued attacking Neil until it was destroyed by Meg.

"Are you okay, sir…Neil?" Meg asked realizing it was Neil.

"Wait…Meg?" Neil asked as he grunted of pain.

She managed to grab hold of him and calm him; then she opened his jacket and saw that horribly bloody wound.

"Eek, the alien robot must have be pissed" Meg said.

"I'm confused right now, but I have the feeling that we'll be together in the end of the movie" Neil said.

"You want me to heal you?" Meg asked "Then shut up, so I can focus" she used her heat vision on Neil's wound, making Neil scream with a high-pitched voice "I said 'shut up'! And on top of that: since when your voice is like a girl's?"

"I got it from my mother" Neil said.

"EEK, am I turning you on?!" Meg asked disgusted looking at Neil's pants "I'm not even naked!"

"What you're talking about?" Neil asked as he realized he had a boner on his pants "Oh my, they weren't M&Ms at all…"

Meanwhile, in James Woods High School; she and her friends (Scott and Gina) were talking until Connie's watch started beeping. Interesting enough, her watch was made of black steel.

"Hello?" Connie asked pressing the button as a cellphone.

A Kryptonian ship was found.

"This is it…I knew this is the right planet" Connie said, starting to speak with a more adult tone.

"What's going on, Connie?" Gina asked.

"We are no longer using our pathetic human names" Connie said "Do you understand, Sub Commander Faora?"

In a millisecond, we can see Gina's true identity as Faora-UI under her human disguise.

"Yes, Commander Cornelia" Gina said, speaking with the same tone.

"Private Nam-Ek, prepare the ship to initiate our plan" Connie ordered.

Also, in a millisecond, we can see Scott's true identity as Nam-Ek under his human disguise.

"As you wish, mistress" Scott said.

"This planet will be ours…" Connie said with an evil smile.

One day, after Neil was found by the army during his arctic expedition, Neil showed his work to Perry White.

"What do you think, sir?" Neil asked "Am I a genius or a super genius?"

"I can't print this, Neil" Perry said "You must have hallucinated half of it. Especially the part where you said the rescuer was a friend of yours who could be a replica of 'Cyclops from X-Men'"

"What about the civilian contractors who corroborated my story?" Neil asked.

"The government is denying that there was a ship" Perry stated.

"Of course they are, it's the government!" Neil said "They're controlling us as the Egyptians to the Hebrews in the Moses time. This is Pulitzer-worthy and the Pulitzers are the Oscars of the journalism"

"I still won't print it" Perry said.

"Then I quit" Neil said "Screw college!"

"You don't really work here, but I can still write a letter of recommendation that tells people thatyou disrespect authority" Perry said "It's up to you"

"Okay, you win, sir" Neil said leaving the office "But I can still publish my story on the internet. I only need answers. And I know a family that can give me them"

"Hey, can you stop speaking to yourself?" an employer asked "You're freaking me out"

Meanwhile, back in the arctic ship; Meg found the main computer room of the ship. She pressed a button and somebody appeared behind of her: Jor-El.

"It's such an honor to finally meet a kind-hearted human" Jor-El said.

"Who are you?" Meg asked "You look like a famous actor with a hot Australian accent"

"My name is…"

"Can you sing a song from Les Misérables?" Meg asked "It's my favorite musical of all time. Just don't sing like a complete idiot"

(A/E: Yeah, I heard so many people didn't like Russell Crowe's singing in Les Misérables. What is wrong with you, guys? He did fantastic!)

"Please, listen!" Jor-El demanded "My name is Jor-El, or at least a shadow of him, and I'm…"

"My father?" Meg asked with a big smile "YEAH! That means my ass family wasn't my family after all!" she started ridiculously dancing "Oh yeah! It's my birthday! Oh yeah!"

"No, I'm not your father" Jor-El corrected.

"Argh, fiddlesticks!" Meg cursed.

"I'm from the planet Krypton…" Jor-El said.

3 HOURS OF BORING EXPOSITION…

"That's why we risked so much to send you the Codex, so that we..." Jor-El said until he realized Meg fell asleep "Ah…excuse me?"

"*waking up* wait, what?" Meg asked confused "Sorry, everything got blurry after you said 'Krypton'"

"*annoyed sigh* the point is now the power of the Codex is inside you" Jor-El said "You're the planet's final hope in surviving..."

At the moment a chamber opened beside them and the 'Superman' iconic suit was revealed. But the suit is female size since Meg is a girl (and DON'T you forget it!)

"Wow, nice suit" Meg said "But how do you know my exact measurements?"

"The ship scanned your body the moment you entered the ship" Jor-El said.

"I don't like the colors, they seemed a little too…dark" Meg said "I want a brighter blue suit, like the color of my pants"

"Ugh, fine" Jor-El said, annoyed as he snapped his finger to change the color of the suit.

"And change the color red of the cape to pink since it's my favorite color" Meg said "Same with the boots"

Jor-El again snapped his finger to change the colors of the cape and boots.

"Also, I'd like…" Meg said.

"Just leave it like that, okay?" Jor-El asked, having enough of these pointless changes.

"What's the 'S' stands for?" Meg asked.

"It's the symbol of the House of El" Jor-El said "It means hope"

"Hope doesn't start with 'S'" Meg said.

"Just put it on and go practice your powers" Jor-El said.

Meg in her suit left the ship and she slowly walked out into the cold, blustery weather.

Jor-El: (voice over) Earth's sun is younger and brighter than Krypton's was. Your cells have drunk in its radiation, strengthening your muscles, your skin, your senses. Earth's gravity is weaker, yet its atmosphere is more nourishing. You've grown stronger here than I ever could imagine. The only way to know how strong is to keep testing your limits.

Meg kneeled and concentrated her strength. Then she took a big jump, the a couple of jumps until she flew off testing her flight.

"I'M FLYING, I'M FLYING!" Meg cheered with an excited smile, until she started losing balance "I'M FALLING, I'M FALLING!"

*CRASH*

She crashed into an icy mountain; she emerged from the mountain rubble and stood up.

Jor-El: (voice over) you will give the people of earth an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble; they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun, Megan. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders.

"I won't give up, my days as a teenage loser are over" Meg said with full determination "It's time to show the world what Meg Griffin is capable of!"

*Hans Zimmer's kickass music plays*

She closed her eyes and raised her face toward the sun, then she took big jump again and this time soared off across the planet with an amazing speed and strength. She was faster than an eagle, than a falcon, even faster than Iron Man (the latter one, losing his armor)!

"Damn it, my armor!" Tony Stark cursed.

She was admiring the awesomeness of her flight; she knew this was just the beginning of something epic.

End of Act I