Act III
(A/E: Hey everyone, I found out the new actor who's gonna be Batman is Ben Affleck! I also heard negative criticisms from many fans complaining about that choice and demanding a recast. *sighed* Not again, it's the same crap when Michael Keaton was chosen to be Batman in Tim Burton's Batman or when Heath Ledger was chosen to be the Joker in The Dark Knight. I'm not saying fans are idiots, but they have to give this guy a chance. I mean, I know after he won the Oscar for Best Screenplay in the Good Will Hunting (along with Matt Damon), he starred in some bad movies like Pearl Harbor, Gigli and Daredevil (I think he was decent in that). But he became a pretty damn good director! Gone Baby Gone, The Town and Argo (the last one winning for Best Picture), the latter two starring in them and I think he also became a better actor. So yeah, I'm okay that Ben Affleck is gonna be Batman. Now here's the final act of this parody)
Meg and Neil reunited with the army's general to tell him about their plan.
"The Phantom Drive is made with the same technology as Cornelia's ship" Neil said "If they both collide it will create 'the Phantom Zone'. A black hole that will [suck out] swallow Cornelia's ship and imprison them, keeping them from harming anyone ever again."
"Are you sure this is going to work?" General Swanwick asked.
"You guys have a better idea?" Meg asked "*mocking* or you're planning to launch all your missiles and nuclear weapons as you did in every stupid war?"
"You know, you've become a little cocky since you got your powers" Neil said.
Then a soldier came in the room.
"General, it's the aliens! They're bringing in some sort of giant cannon!" the soldier said.
"What?" General Swanwick asked.
In the city of Quahog; the Kryptonians brought the giant world engine to 'transform' planet Earth into Krypton. The civilians looked at the sky to see the world engine.
"Bring the Phantom drive online" Cornelia ordered "Initiate it"
The world engine started charging everyone thought that the machine was a cannon ready to blow them all away, so they did the rational thing...run for the hills.
*BEAM*
The world engine released the beam, causing mass destruction in Quahog in order to create the Kryptonian atmosphere. The Earth's gravity was changing too: making the buildings to look that they're bouncing.
The army was watching what's going on through their monitors.
"What did they hit us with?" General Swanrick asked.
"Looks like some kind of gravity weapon; it's working in tandem with their ship" Neil said "Somehow they're increasing the earth's mass, clouding the atmosphere with particulates…"
"In English, please!" Meg said.
"They're terraforming" Neil said "They're turning our planet into their planet"
"We need to mobilize" General Swanrick "Private Reynolds, go with Colonel Hardy and take Mr. Goldman with you, he'll explain the plan"
"Yes, sir!" Private Reynolds replied "Maybe Lady Steel should attack the ship first"
"Lady Steel?" General Swanwick asked.
"The young girl with the superpowers…the people are calling her Lady Steel" Private Reynolds answered.
"I kinda like it" Meg commented.
"Wait, it was my idea first: you gotta give me a dollar for every time you mention her" Neil said.
"It's true, he said it first" Meg said.
"Goddamn Jews…" Private Reynolds cursed, paying Neil.
The army was preparing the jet that was to carry the Phantom Drive. Meg was preparing for the biggest battle of her life.
"If that thing is making Earth more like Krypton, won't you be weaker flying in there?" Neil asked.
"Maybe, but I won't take any crap from them" Meg answered "I mean: my fans love me! They wrote fan fictions about me! One of them was where I became as big as Godzilla and another one getting a magic book that turned me into a witch. But there're also stories where I meet a handsome and caring guy and I have a daughter with him"
"Meg, what the hell are you talking about?" Neil asked.
"Never mind" Meg said "You might want to step back"
"No way, maybe women these days are getting stronger, but men aren't getting weaker" Neil said.
"As you wish…" Meg said.
*BOOW!*
She took off the flight so hard that it blew Neil to the ground.
"Wow…that's why I'm still in love" Neil said.
"Let's go, Mr. Goldman" Colonel Hardy ordered.
"Yes, sir" Neil replied.
Meanwhile, Cornelia found Meg's ship in the Arctic. She entered the ship and placed a command key into the mainframe.
Command key accepted. Genesis Chamber coming online, sir
Jor-El appeared behind of Cornelia.
"Stop this, Cornelia, while there's still time" Jor-El begged.
"Don't you get it?" Cornelia asked "This is my revenge for killing my father!"
"Our people can co-exist" Jor-El said.
"So we can suffer through years of pain trying to adapt?" Cornelia asked "No way! It'd be like going through puberty all over again!"
"You're talking about genocide" Jor-El said.
"You know what? This is f*cking ridiculous! I'm talking to a ghost" Cornelia commented "I mean: you died right in the prologue! You're not supposed to be in this movie anymore!"
"We're both ghosts, Cornelia" Jor-El said "Can't you see it? The Krypton you're clinging onto is already gone"
"I'm done with this ridiculous debate!" Cornelia said "Krypton will rise from the ashes and you can't do anything about it!"
"Megan may not be a perfect human, but she's kinder and sweeter than any young lady of her age" Jor-El said "She will finish what we started. I can promise that"
"Then since you're Jor-El's conscience, you will experience the failure of your 'chosen one'" Cornelia said "I will rebuild Krypton under her ugly fat dead body!"
Then she punched her command key to fully insert it into the mainframe which made Jor-El disappeared. She took over the ship and flew off the Quahog.
Meanwhile, in Quahog; the world engine continued destroying the city. Luckily Meg appeared to save the day…this sounds like a comic book…HAHA! Get it?
"Okay, this is it, my chance to prove everyone what I'm capable for" Meg said "That's okay, how hard could it be?" But when she got a little closer; electric tentacles came out and attacked her "AH, WHAT THE HELL?!" she fought with the tentacles, but they were really strong "At least my family is safe"
But for some reason, the Griffins were getting away from the world engine.
"This is worse than a hurricane!" Lois said "Damn it, Peter, why did you choose the wrong time to buy an ice cream?!"
"Hey, when my stomach wants something, I give it what he wants" Peter said eating a bowl of Cookie N' Cream ice cream with gummy bears.
Inside of Peter's digestion system.
"Yeah, tell that bitch off, Pete!" Peter's stomach cheered.
"God, I hate him when he eats gummy bears" Peter's intestines complained.
Then the Griffins found Perry White and a male worker (Steve) helping a female worker (Jenny), who's trapped in a pile of wreckage.
"Hey, can you give us a hand?" Perry asked.
"Who are you?" Peter asked.
"No time, we need your help!" Steve answered.
"Please!" Jenny screamed.
"Why do I have the feeling that you guys serve no purpose in the plot?" Peter asked.
"Just shut up and help!" Brian demanded as he and the Griffins started helping the woman.
"Okay, okay, geez!" Peter said joining them "This is getting weirder than the time I became Joan Rivers' vagina"
Flashback
We're sorry, but this flashback it's too disgusting to show it. So...here's the Dramatic Chipmunk.
It shows the famous Dramatic Chipmunk: which it's a prairie dog turning his head around and the camera zooms in to his face while dramatic music is played.
Flashback's end
Meg continued fighting this machine: she ended on the ground right in the center where the machine is terraforming. She concentrated her strength and flew [off to the machine. She successfully destroyed the machine getting though of it like a bullet] right at the machine, piercing through it like a bullet, destroying it once and for all.
"She did it!" Private Reynolrds cheered "She took the machine down!"
"Excellent, now let's throw this Phantom Drive and send this guys to the other world" Neil said as he tried to active the old ship with Meg's command key, but the key was half broken and now it's impossible to activate it "You've gotta be kidding me!"
"What's going on, Mr. Goldman?" Colonel Nathan asked.
"Ah...we're suffering technical issues..." Neil answered nervous.
Then we see Cornelia in the ship she stole, seeing the destruction of the world engine.
"NO!" Cornelia yelled "How did she destroy it?!"
"It wasn't that easy" Meg answered behind of her.
"Are you trying to destroy Krypton?!" Cornelia asked.
"Krypton had its chance" Meg answered using her heat vision to destroy the ship and Cornelia went down.
Neil tried to unite both parts of the key, but unfortunately, Faora appeared and killed all the soldiers in just a few seconds. In a hurry, Neil took a fire extinguisher and uses it to pound the key. He finally fully insert the command key into the old ship's mainframe which activates it; at that moment Hardy turned to Faora.
"A good death is its own reward" Colonel Hardy said.
"You were right, that phrase makes no sense" Faora said.
"Goldman!" Private Reynolds called throwing a parachute.
"What about you guys?" Neil asked.
"We're done with our mission" Colonel answered "Do us a favor and save yourself"
Neil didn't think twice, so he jumped off the jet. Then...
*BOOM*
The jet crashed against Cornelia's ship unleashing the Phantom Zone. This blackhole pulled all of Cornelia's henchmen, including Faora inside. Neil tried to open the parachute, but...it happened to be a simple backpack.
"No wonder why our army is so incompetent!" Neil said as he continued falling down "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
But Meg saw Neil falling from the jet and quickly flew up to save him, she brought him down safely into ruins of Quahog. Perry, Steve and the Griffins managed to get Jenny out of the wreckage and they're all safe from the terraform.
"Are they gone?" Jenny asked.
"I think so" Perry answered.
"She saved us!" Lois cheered "My own daugh-" but she realized Perry and his two workers were still here "I mean...LADY STEEL saved us!"
"Wow, look at this whole mess..." Stewie said.
"These guys really destroyed half of the city" Brian said.
"I am not financially responsible for any of this." Peter said, making Brian slapped his the arm "OW!"
Meg and Neil slowly landed in the ground, looking at each other. Then Meg...KISSED Neil in the lips, much for Neil's shock. She stopped to take breath.
"Did you like it?" Meg asked.
"Are you kidding? I loved it!" Neil answered extremely happy...until he got confused "But...why? I thought I grossed you out"
"I was too proud to confess my feelings" Meg said "I mean: the strongest girl in the world in love with the nerdiest guy in the world"
"Yeah, what would the media say?" Neil asked.
"I don't care anymore" Meg answered "I just wanna be with the guy who helped me in saving the world"
"Can we discuss our relationship's future in a Shawarma restaurant?" Neil asked "I always wanted to taste that food"
"Oh course, my little carrot head" Meg said as she kissed him again.
But they were interrupted by Cornelia, who survived the collision of the two ships. She kneeled on the ground and looked around.
"Look at this" Cornelia said holding out her hand which has some of the burnt rubble from the ground "We could have built a new Krypton in this planet, but you chose the selfish humans over us"
"Hey, it could be worse" Peter said "You could get dumped by a teen called 'Lando Griffin' at the prom in front of all school...oh wait, that did happen"
"You could get forced to have sex with my pervert neighbor...oh wait, that did happen"Lois said.
"You could get told off by a dog...oh wait, that did happen" Brian said.
"You could get arrested by kissing a nude baby...oh wait, THAT did happen!" Stewie said as he laughed "Oh god, that was sweet revenge"
"Guys, I think you're pissing her off more than usual" Neil said.
"My father existed only to protect Krypton, I exist to be loyal to him" Cornelia said "This was the purpose for which I was born. And every action I take, no matter how violent, or how cruel, is for the greater good of my people. And now I have no people" she glared at Meg with all the hatred on her eyes "My soul, that is what YOU have taken from ME!"
She suddenly attacked Meg and threw her aside.
"I'm going to make you suffer, Meg, for all the humiliations you and your family put me the whole time!" Cornelia said "I will take them all from you, one by one!"
"You're a monster, Connie" Meg said standing up "That's why I'm gonna stop you"
"Let's get out of here!" Lois ordered as everybody got away.
The two girls engaged in a battle that caused more destruction to Quahog, leading them to crash into a building, Cornelia then started getting overwhelmed by her senses and lost control of her heat vision which destroyed the building they're in, they both flew out of the building as it came crumbling down, then they came to a stop and Cornelia threw a fuel truck at Meg, this caused a massive explosion, after which they battled it out again.
"There's only one way this ends, Meg!" Cornelia said "Either you die, or I do!"
They fought again and Cornelia managed to knock Meg down.
"I was bred to be a warrior, Meg" Cornelia said "Trained by my father in my entire life. Where did you train? In a school's gym!"
While she's floating, she took off her suit's armor and flew away. Meg flew after her and they battled it out across Quahog, destroying more buildings, eventually they fell through into a museum where The Griffins are staying safe inside.
"Really? A museum?!" Meg asked outraged.
"Nobody visits here" Peter answered.
"This is my chance..." Cornelia said preparing her heat vision to kill them all.
"GET DOWN!" Meg ordered as she hold Cornelia with her arm around her neck.
*BEAM*
The Griffins dodged the laser, but the laser hits the roof and tons of wreckage fell over the Griffins, trapping them.
"Would you protect your family, even after all the pain they put on you?" Cornelia asked.
Cornelia used her heat vision to try and kill the family once again.
"We're all gonna die!" Chris cried.
"Why is this happening to us?!" Peter asked.
"MEG..., PLEASE...SAVE US!" Lois cried.
"DON'T DO THIS, CONNIE!" Meg begged, still holding her head "STOP!"
"NEVER!" Cornelia shouted.
Cornelia's heat vision got closer to the family. Meg seemed she had no other way to stop her...until...
*SNAP!*
Meg snapped Cornelia's neck, killing her. She puts her on the ground and then she saw own her hands. She lets out a heartbreaking cry in regret. Neil appeared to comfort her; Meg continued crying while Neil hugs her.
"It's all right, Meg..." Neil said.
"No...it's not all right...everything is wrong" Meg said "I've just KILLED somebody!"
"Somebody who killed THOUSANDS of people without remorse, don't you see?" Neil asked "You had to do it, there was not other way. As Spock said in Star Trek II" he does the Vulcan salute "'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few'"
"...hey, you're right" Meg said, suddenly stop crying "This bitch was going to kill all the people of Earth and I, Megan Mary Griffin, saved the humanity!" She started hopping of happiness "*singing* I saved the world! I saved the world!" Then she looked at Cornelia's body "In your face you anorexic-bulimic-guy screwer-tests' answers stealer-planet terrorist bitch!"
"You know, I'm starting to miss the old and boring Meg..." Peter said, very afraid of her.
"She knows she's mocking a dead body, right?" Brian asked.
"I'm starting to like her..." Stewie said with an evil smile.
End of Act III
(A/E: Don't leave your computers yet! There's still an epilogue to conclude this parody!)