Itachi always tried to remain calm, cool, and collected. He considered it important to never show any signs of suffering or weakness, and always remain stoic on the outside.

That was before he spent eight hours in labor without any painkillers.

"Mother fu-OWWW!" he screamed, twisting the bed sheets beneath his fingers.

"Angel, calm down!" Kisame, standing beside the hospital bed the weasel was lying in. The Uchiha had been transferred to the hospital wing as soon as Konan was certain he was going into labor, and was now under the watchful gaze of the shark, Pein, and the kidnapped medic.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Itachi snapped.

"Please, I need both of you to leave!" the medic pleaded, moving to the foot of the bed. "The last thing she needs right now is more stress!"

"Out of the question!" Pein said, folding his arms across his chest. "We are not budging until-"

"GET OUT!" Itachi shrieked.

"We're going, we're going!" the shark assured him, dragging the leader out of the room while simultaneously trying to block out another howl of pain that escaped the weasel's lips.

--

"How you could forget to get him painkillers?!" Kisame demanded. The shark was pissed, and glared angrily at the leader standing before him whiel drumming his fingers against his crossed forearms.

"It just slipped my mind," Pein said weakly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Why you-" Kisame had to be restrained by Kakuzu's threads and Sasori's chakra strings, and even then they were barely able to hold him back.

"Kisame, calm down!" Konan begged. "It'll be over soon enough."

"It can't be that bad, un," Deidara said.

"Oh really?" Kisame said, quickly to turn his fury on the blonde. "Well how about we have Sasori knock you up, and then you can go through this and tell the rest of us whether it's all that bad or not!"

"Kisame, there is no way in hell I would allow Deidara to have a child. One bomber is more than enough for us," Pein said firmly. Another scream escaped the hospital ward, making the Akatsuki wince. "Well, here's hoping he gets through this soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~two hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone looked up when they heard the door to the hospital room open. "All right, she's done," the medic stated, poking her head through the door. "And she's requesting someone named Kisame."

The shark rose from his seat on a nearby chair, walking hurriedly to the door. "There's something odd, though," the medic went on as she stepped outside the room. "As soon as she gave birth, she turned into a guy! With your permission, I'd like to-"

"Right, right," Pein said, waving his hand dismissively. "Hidan, would you mind?"

"With pleasure," the zealot said, hefting his scythe off the ground and walking towards the medic.

--

Kisame stopped by the door, taking a moment to stare across the room at his love.

The Uchiha was sitting upright in bed, holding a small bundle close to his chest. His body was drenched in sweat, and his hair was a mess. Kisame noted that his love had, indeed, returned to being a person of the male persuasion. Draped over his lap was a thin cotton blanket, and a pile of bloody sheets lay crumpled up at the foot of his bed.

The weasel looked up at the sound of a person entering the room, and smiled when he saw that it was Kisame. He mouthed the words, "Come here," before returning his attention to the bundle he was holding to his chest. Kisame silently walked across the room. He stopped beside the bed and bent down to have a look at his child. Their child.

The baby in Itachi's arm was asleep, its tiny chest rising and falling beneath the blanket it was wrapped in. The peach fuzz on its head was a lovely midnight blue, almost to the point of being black. "She got your gills," Itachi whispered, running his fingers over the lines crossing her cheeks.

"She? It's a girl?"

Itachi nodded, eyes never leaving his child. "And she has your eyes," he added happily. He finally looked away from the little girl, glancing up at the shark. "Do you want to hold her?"

For the first time in years, Kisame felt true fear creep into his heart. Their baby was so small, so delicate…so breakable.

Noticing Kisame's nervous behavior, Itachi scooted over on the bed and motioned for the shark to sit by him. Once he was seated, Itachi gently handed the baby to him, positioning the shark's arms to hold the infant. "There…don't jostle her…support the head…" he smiled and sat back, letting Kisame hold the girl.

"She's light," he said quietly, unable to think of anything else.

"Hn."

"Hey, angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you thought of a name yet?" the shark asked, running his fingers over the baby's cheeks.

"I like Tenshi."

"Tenshi?" Kisame smirked. "Can't say I'd mind having two angels." Itachi rolled his eyes, making Kisame's smirk grow wider. Suddenly, the baby started crying. "Oh crap, what'd I do?!" Kisame asked in a panicked voice, accidentally squeezing the child and making her cry even louder.

"Hn," Itachi replied, plucking Tenshi out of Kisame's arms.

"What's the supposed to mean? Urgh, never mind."

"Just get used to it," Itachi said, trying to hush the infant.

"Since this is all we're going to hear for the next few years, right?"

"Hn."