~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~time passes~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sasori was doubled over, panting heavily. Up until recent months, he hadn't realized how heavily he relied on Deidara's skills in battle to back him up. There was a reason that he and the bomber had been assigned to work together, after all. This fight in particular had been difficult, considering that the better part of his opponents were long-range fighters. Had Deidara been here, they would have gone down without any problem, but that was nothing more than wishful thinking.

A noise came from behind him, startling the Akasuna out of his thoughts. He spun around, immediately attaching chakra strings to the puppets closest to him. Whoever was trying to sneak up on him was about to get a few organs ripped out.

Much to his shock, it was Zetsu who appeared. The schizo slowly emerged from a tree, staring at the puppet master. "Here he is. About time we found him. It didn't take that long."

"Zetsu, what do you want?" Sasori demanded, relaxing ever so slightly.

"You're needed at the base. He is not! Pein just wants him back there. Because he's needed. Not really."

"What for?"

"Take a wild guess."

Deidara. It had to be something to do with his blonde. "Did Deidara have an accident?" he asked worriedly.

"Nope. He went into labor."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~six hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Deidara howled, his screams resonating through the Akatsuki base.

"Still think the pain isn't that bad, blondie?" Itachi called out, smirking sadistically.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU DAMN WEASEL BASTARD!" Deidara screeched.

"I'll take that as a no."

Before Itachi could go on, though, a certain redhead rushed past him, Zetsu slowly following behind. "I didn't know Sasori could move that fast. Hell, I didn't know people could move that fast."

"How is he?" Konan asked, wringing her hands nervously. All the Akatsuki, save for Kisame, were gathered outside the birthing room. The shark had taken his daughter outside to play in the garden, well out of hearing range of Deidara's screams of agony.

"How do you think he feels?" Kakuzu asked, rolling his eyes. "The guy just found out his lover's going into labor a month early. That'll shake anyone up."

Two seconds later the puppeteer reemerged from the room, Pein fast on his heels. "That's the second time some low-class medic has thrown me out," the leader grumbled, shaking his head.

"What's wrong with Dei?" Konan asked the Akasuna.

"They don't know," Sasori snapped, sinking down into a chair. "But it looks like he's going to be in labor for a while yet."

"Well duh," Hidan said. "Bastard's already up to hour ten."

"Shut up before I put your insides on the outside," Sasori hissed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~time passes~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12 hours later, Sasori was ready to tear his hair out. He could still hear the blonde screaming his head off, and no word on Deidara's condition had been heard yet. The others were beginning to worry as well; had there been a problem?

Finally, fifteen minutes later, the screaming stopped. The medic they'd abducted a few weeks back finally emerged from the room, looking worn out but satisfied. "Everything's ok," she assured the criminals. "They're fine."

A silent wave of relief swept through the room at the words. "You can see her now, if you like," the medic said.

Sasori inwardly smiled at the words. Deidara must have made sure to remain in female form until the medic left. No point in spooking her yet. They still had two more births to go through before she would be disposed of, after all.

"What was taking so long?" Konan asked.

"Oh, this stuff is perfectly normal," the female said calmly. "We just had a little difficulty trying to get a child to move down far enough. But like I said, the babies are fine."

"Well that's go-did you say babies?" Pein asked, making Sasori freeze, his hand on the doorknob.

"Yes," the medic affirmed. "The woman gave birth to a lovely set of twin girls. They're absolutely the cutest-" her comment was interrupted as Sasori fainted and crashed to the ground.

~~~~~~~~~~~five minutes and a bottle of smelling salts later~~~~~~~~~

The Akasuna nervously walked into the room, not sure if he was fully prepared for this.

Deidara was sitting on the bed in his normal male form. There was a small bundle in each arm, and he seemed to be looking from one to the other rapidly, as if unable to keep his eyes away from either infant for more than a moment.

The sight made Sasori smile as he ambled over to the bomber, stopping near the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Deidara tilted his head up to look at Sasori. "I'm tired, I'm sore, and I wanna sleep, un."

The redhead smirked and motioned for Deidara to scoot over so he could sit on the bed. Once situated, he took a few moments to look at the children in his lover's arms. "Am I going to get the opportunity to hold one of them?" he asked at length.

Deidara carefully passed him the child closest to him, quickly wrapping his now-free arm around the other child.

Immediately the infant began to squirm, one arm popping free of the confines of its blanket. Sasori quickly caught the hand and hushed the child, bouncing her in his arms. Suddenly, a small prick was felt in his finger. He looked down in shock to see pearly-white teeth biting gently onto his faux flesh, a line of drool running down the digit. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, un," Deidara laughed out. "They got my handmouths, un."

"Why do they already have teeth?" Sasori asked.

"The mouths just come out that way, un. Don't get mad at them if they bite you; they don't have control over them yet. Poor babies," he whispered, kissing the head of the girl he was holding.

Sasori ran his eyes over the tiny female. Pale, almost porcelain skin; chubby arms and cheeks; small seashell ears; perfectly proportioned handmouths. "A little work of art," he murmured.

Deidara smiled. "Bang, un."