~~~~~~~~~~~four years later (my, aren't timeskips handy)~~~~~~~~~~

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

A blood-curdling shriek cut through the base early in the morning. Itachi, Sasori, Hidan, and Konan were all in the kitchen, making breakfast for the other members. The scream froze their work, and they all looked towards the weasel. "That sounded like Tenshi," Konan remarked.

Before Itachi could say anything in reply, his rather distraught-looking daughter rushed into the room, still dressed in her pjs with fear plastered all over her face. "Daddy, I need to go to the doctor!" she cried, before leaping at the weasel and burying her face in his chest.

"Tenshi, what's wrong?!" Itachi demanded, his normally monotone voice giving way to a concerned tone.

The girl looked up at her father with tears in her eyes. "I woke up, and I felt fine, and then I went into the bathroom, and, and…" her explanation turned into sobs.

"And what?" Konan gently prodded.

"There was blood in my underwear!" she exclaimed.

"Oh crap," the adults thought in unison.

"I've got internal bleeding! We have to go to a doctor, now, before I die!" Tenshi declared, tugging at her father's hand.

"Tenshi," Itachi began while digging his heels into the ground. "You're not dying."

The girl blinked up at her father, confused. "But I'm bleeding, daddy!"

"I know," the weasel continued, shifting nervously from side to side.

"This is gonna be good," Hidan snickered to Sasori, who nodded his head in agreement.

"Tenshi, when girls turn 12 or 13…their bodies start to change…it's all a part of growing up…" while the young girl continued to stare up at her father, Itachi turned his head to look at Konan, eyes begging for help.

"Tenshi, come with me," the blue-haired woman gently commanded as she held her hand out to the girl. "I'll explain everything." Eager for answers Tenshi rushed to the woman, and the duo soon exited the room.

As soon as they were gone, Hidan burst out laughing, whilst Itachi glared at him and slowly sank down into his chair. "Dear Jashin, that was hilarious!" the zealot declared, wiping a few tears from his eyes as he spoke.

"That was rather entertaining," Sasori agreed with a smirk.

"Just wait until your children do that," Itachi forewarned, making the smile drop from Sasori's face.

"Man, I'm so glad Amai's not a bitch," Hidan stated, after finally getting his laughter under control.

"Nope. You just have the joy of telling your son why most boys don't dress in drag," Itachi countered.

--

Later that afternoon, Pein was making his normal rounds around the Akatsuki base, in order to both get away from his paperwork and make sure the members hadn't killed each other.

As he entered the living room, he found Ahato and Boom playing on the floor; Boom was molding a bit of non-explosive clay, while Ahato was practicing using two puppets at once. Not bad, for a couple of nine-year-olds. "Is there a reason you two are out here, and not in your room?" Pein inquired. The Akatsuki children had been moved out of their parent's rooms for a few years now, although the youth's rooms were directly next door to their parent's chambers.

Boom nodded, engrossed in her art, while Ahato actually took the trouble to look up at Pein. "We couldn't stay in our room, because Danna and Dei-dei were making happy noises."

"Happy noises?" Pein repeated.

"Uh-huh," Boom replied, her eyes still glued to the clay in her hands. "It's when they thump against the wall, and Dei-dei says 'un', a lot, and then they scream, and when we come in later, they're all sweaty and happy."

"But they always have to wash the sheets after they make happy noises, 'cause for some reason they get these weird stains on them," Ahato noted.

Pein stiffly walked out of the room, not daring to look at either of the girls as he left. Oh, the joys of being young and innocent.

As he continued down the hall, he crossed paths with Amaifuyu. The boy was growling under his breath, and tugging on the purple skirt he was currently wearing. "Hey Pein, have you seen mum?" the boy asked.

"Not lately. Why?"

"My skirt keeps riding up," the child complained, tugging on his skirt in order to emphasize his point. "I need mum to let it out, or get me a new one."

"We'll I'm sure Hidan-wait, did you say let it out?"

Amaifuyu nodded. "Mum hemmed it for me when I got it, so I think it'll still fit if he undoes the stitching." With that, Amaifuyu walked off, leaving Pein to wonder why in blazes Hidan had fixed the skirt, instead of Kakuzu. Wait, no, he should be wondering why 1) miser plus masochist equals crossdresser, and 2) how a couple of S-ranked criminals knew how to sew in the first place.

Shaking his head, the Akatsuki leader decided he needed a nice break, and walked in the direction of his room. Upon arrival, he grabbed the doorknob, slowly opened the door-

"OH MY GOD, THAT THING GOES INSIDE ME?!"

Well there went that idea.

"Yes Tenshi, that 'thing' goes inside you during sex," Konan said in a calm tone, as if she told twelve-year-old girls about sex every day. Pein remained stationary outside the door, and listened in on their conversation.

"Do all guys have those?" Tenshi asked.

"Of course!"

"Even Pein?" Ouch.

"Of course Pein does!"

"Does he put it inside you?"

"Erm-"

"Does it hurt?"

"In a good-"

"Do you make happy noises when he puts it inside you, like daddy and poppa do?"

Pein rushed down the hall and practically dove inside his office. A few hours of paperwork sounded lovely right about now.