All Antonio could do at this point was ignore the stares and hold his baby tighter and tighter- and not let go.
"NO!" she screeched weakly, "Let me go please! Let me go! Let me go! Let go, let go, let go!" She continued. Antonio held tight to her, hushing in her ear. Her tears didn't stop and came constantly, the dam having been broken and leaving no mercy to anything.
Severide stepped forward, moving with slightly hesitant determination to his little girl and her older brother. "Let her go Antonio" Gaby told him with force.
"What are you talking about?" He questioned, looking up at her from his spot on the slate ground in the garage with confusion written on his forehead.
"Let her up, Kelly's got her" she said, returning Kelly's look with one of gratefulness. He turned back and hardened his face, reaching down and pulling Emily from Antonio's shocked and lessened grip. He pulled her over to Shay, who took him to the ambulance to calm a gasping Emily and give her what she needed to do so.
Calm down Em, you haven't done anything, just breathe! Basil cried to her, hitting the Firemen's ears as just pained howls.
"I- Can't!" Emily wailed back, unable to calm herself, or accept that that is what these people surrounding her were trying to do.
You have to try. I can't lose you, they can't lose you. You sister can't lose you and neither can your brother! Reasoning with her wasn't going to do anything, but at least she was beginning to try and calm.
"My brother doesn't care about me anymore, losing me won't affect him!" she cried back, but she was beginning to gain her bearings, to be able to breathe and speak properly. Shay looked to Kelly with a face of panic. He looked right back with the same face, wondering where all this was coming from. And then Shay looked to Basil, now simply whining with her front paws on the step at the back of the ambo.
That isnt true, Antonio loves you, losing you would break him. I would break. I don't do broken. And then came Emily's response, "He doesn't love me anymore. I don't like him anymore. Stop trying to reason."
Basil's retort, don't think like that she barked, literally, your brother loves you. He's never looked down upon you. The only thing he has ever tried to do is help you. He's had a lot going on.
"Just drop it Bas" she snapped back. Her gasping ceased and Shay was able to fit a monitor to her, just to be safe. She looked back up to Kelly who could only stare between the two conversationalists, wondering, once again, how they were able to do this, what connection needed to be made to be able to have a conversation with an animal. He looked to Shay with questions in his eyes, but all she could do was smirk at him. And then she began to think- when was the last time she had seen the pair have a conversation? In the open at least. The smirk fell as the words Emily spoke to the wolf reached her ears in remembrance- what was she talking about?
Antonio's head snapped to the side and away from Gaby's face to see into the inside of the ambulance. All he could see was Severide's back, his left arm reaching diagonally across Emily to her left hip, seemingly restraining her. He watched as Shay struggled to calm her, the way she was trying to get a monitor on her to help her calm. But the most interesting part was the conversation back and forth between Basil and his little sister, wondering where all this was coming from, especially Gaby.
That was all that any of the firemen could do- watch these two go at it, the way Basil's volume drowned down from screams to barks to whimpers, and the way that Emily's didn't change until it became a biting order at the very end. The way Basil pulled her paws down form the step after the last retort and pad haughtily away and into the station was something almost no one had ever seen her do.
Antonio's eyes filled with tears as his brain registered the conversation between the two. It was about him, the way he hadn't been around, working on this case and not being there for his baby sisters. But Gaby's voice interrupted his thoughts, "Where have you been Antonio?" she asked, his name pulling the Latina accent off her tongue as it did so often.
All he could do was look at her with his face replaced by a mask of confusion. "I've been on a case Gaby, what are you talking about?" he repeated the question.
"You haven't been around. She needs you, she needs us, and you haven't been around. You drown yourself in your detective work. You let your undercover work consume you and you disappear for weeks at a time. Where were you when I got in an accident? Where were you when we all met her boyfriend? Where were you when his older sister was the one calming Emily and not you? Where have you been for the past few months?" she asked, huffing and out of breath.
"I…" he started, "Don't tell me work, or I will kick your ass out of this firehouse without so much as a second thought." She barked at him, cutting off his excuse.
He let out a breath and hung his head, and in that moment Gaby knew that she was right- that was his excuse. He shook his head, not knowing what to say in return. Gaby followed suit, shaking her head before placing a hand out in front of her and turning to walk away towards the ambo, leaving her brother alone on the floor of the garage. She stopped at the end of the ambulance and rested her knees against the step it, rocking back and forth. Antonio watched as Emily reached forward and wrapped her arms around her sister's neck, and as the tears ran down her cheeks and then as Gaby took two steps back, pulling their little sister out of the ambulance, only for her to wrap her legs around her waist and lock her ankles behind her back. She kissed the side of her head before leaning forward to signify she was letting her down.
Antonio got up and swiveled to face them with his body, he caught Emily's eyes before she turned her head into her sister's rib, cage, only reaching to about 4'3" on her sister's 5'4" frame, having a height difference of more than a foot made her very significantly tiny, and the training she did for dance not having any effect on not stunting her growth any further. He turned his head down in shame and left the house. Severide left the two women alone and Gaby hoisted Emily back into the Ambulance and pulled the doors shut behind her. Emily sat on the stretcher, staring at doors as they quickly blocked her view of the rest of the garage.
Shay slid her across the stretcher by her belt loops so her back sat tall against the incline of the stretcher's back. Gaby produced a shirt from the seat/trunk she was sitting on and unfolded it, "I keep one just in case" she said, shaking it out to loosen it. It baffled Emily that she kept clothes where there should be medical supplies, but if you folded it small enough and placed it in a sterile bag, it would be fine to keep it in there. After studying it, Emily realized it was a shirt she had been looking for.
The sweat mixed with tears and the two women were suddenly no longer able to distinguish what it was that was falling down the side of her face. Shay ripped open a package of gauze and ran across her forehead.
"What was that?" she asked.
Emily looked her in the eyes before shaking her head, "A dream" she stated simply. Shay looked to Gaby with her best "yeah right" face and looked back to Emily, "Let's get you in a clean shirt" she said. Gaby reached for the hem of her little sister's shirt, but pulled back sharply when she slapped it away.
Her face went dark, her eyebrows pulling together and her nose pinching at its bridge, "Emily Rose Dawson. I'm sure that what just happened was an act of subconscious mind and not something you plan to do on a regular basis." She told her scoldingly.
"I can do it myself, just… let me use the restroom to freshen up…" her voice was hesitant, and even though she may actually be, it sounded to Gaby like she was hiding something.
"What's going on? Are you hiding something from me? Take off your shirt" she told her.
"No, let me go to the bathroom and get a paper towel, some soap, I can do things on my own now, getting dressed included in that list." Her remark didn't sound snarky in her head, but on her tongue, talking to her sister, she could taste the sarcasm on the last sentence.
"Take off. Your shirt." Gaby ordered, breaking her words in a way that told Emily she was trying to stay calm, "Before I use the scissors to cut it off"
"Gaby" Shay said, head down, telling her friend that the use of her name was not threatening and was only to tell her to back down a little.
"What are you hiding?" She asked.
"Nothing!" Emily told her.
"Then take off. Your shirt." Came her sister's commanding response.
There was nothing Emily could do but obey. She wasn't hiding anything, and the only way Gaby was going to believe her was if Emily proved it, though she shouldn't have to. Maybe she was hiding some bruises, and maybe it could be hard to convince Gaby that they were from dance and not something else, but there was nothing else to hide. So she did as she was told and crossed her wrists at the hem of her shirt, clutching it in her hands and wriggling out of it, only to produce her clad in a black camisole. Shay squirmed slightly, being on the side of her body that the bruised shoulder was on and unsure whether or not to say anything.
Gaby wasn't convinced, and keeping the cami on would only defeat the purpose of putting on a clean shirt, especially over one that got more sweat that the over shirt.
"That too" Gaby told her sister. Emily's eyes teared and she tried to look to Shay for help, the woman that, just this morning, she was moving slowly because of the lack of time she'd been spending with her.
But Shay could only shake her head and catch the angered eyes of her partner sitting across the ambulance, "Do as your sister says" she told her. Emily looked hurt for a moment, but then a face of understanding washed over her features and she hung her head and continued with the same routine of pulling off the camisole to assure her sister that the only thing worth hiding was a badly bruised shoulder and hip, and a possible bruised rib.
This would be the first time since getting out of a wheelchair that anyone but the doctor had seen Emily without clothes on her upper body, or lower for that matter. Emily shut everyone out, and like most teenagers, got self-conscious over her body- but way sooner. It was always, 'Get out', 'go away', 'my body is mine and not yours'. Gaby remembers that phase, when no one was allowed to see your body until you got to middle school and the stalls in the locker room were always taken.
Gaby took in a sharp breath as she saw the top of her sister's black and purple hip, having completely missed blue and going straight to the colors further into the rainbow. It looked like it had been there for a while, there was yellow and green, the colors indicating that it was healing. Shay noticed the same thing, the way the shoulder didn't look as bad as what she could see of the hip. Her abs stood out like the two could only imagine the scars on her legs did, and were shocked at the way there was no flexing involved to make them appear.
Gaby's eyes began to tear and she stuck out her hand to feel along her hip. But Emily shifted away, towards Shay, feeling like, not only did she want to get away from Gaby's hand, but that she wanted to shrink into Shay and disappear. Gaby pulled back away, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye, for whatever reason, this was too overwhelming for her. Shay was watching her, watching her reaction, watching the way she would interact now that she was having this reaction. She looked up and into the eyes of her little sister, whose eyes were blank with no emotion. They were red though, burning with tears working at the backs of her eyes.
"Why…" she cleared her throat, "Why didn't you… why didn't you tell me?" She whimpered, another tear slipping from the corner of her other eye.
"Gaby…" Shay said, catching her attention, "Why don't you let me take care of her, give yourself a break." She told her. Gaby nodded, now out of it and stood, slowly crouching to the back of the ambulance and pushing the door open. She hesitated before jumping down and then finally did before turning and looking at Emily with disappointment and sorrow scrawled plainly on her face. Gaby closed the door forcefully and slumped away.
Emily didn't move, barely breathed, and kept her eyes trained on her lap. Shay sat back and released a sigh, letting her head fall back and rest on the metal behind her.
"You know" she said, Emily still didn't move, "I used to dance with Abby. I know how tough she is, and I believe one thousand percent…" she stressed, "That these came from dance. I don't believe you have ever really tried to hide anything from us- your sister at least. I think that you just became overly self-conscious with the way you looked after your accident… Between the scars on your legs and the way your sister saw you in your entirety every day even after you got out of your wheelchair… I think you were so ready to be independent that your mind told you not to let anyone get in the way of that, even though just the accident did because I bet you feel like you lost some of your childhood, that you lost the key figure in your childhood." A tear slipped silently out of the corner of Emily's eye and she looked up at Shay, into her eyes, and nearly told her she was spot on.
"I think that you aren't comfortable with the way it's so easy for you to seem to act a child, to sit on our hips and let us-mostly the guys- carry you around as though you were still five, or six, or nine. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm saying it's who you are and that's okay." She finished.
The tears poured from the little girl's eyes now, mercilessly racing each other off the tip of her nose. Her eyes had become reddened and puffy, her cheeks gave off the same effect.
"A dancer is supposed to be proud of their body" she croaked, her throat full with the force of her trying to hold back the tears. "Their body is their canvas and so far, mine is scratched and bruised and battered. My canvas is going to get thrown away because no one wants an ugly painting." She said, using the proverb painted on the wall in her favorite studio.
"But that's not true" Shay said, wiping a tear, "Your painting is there with a brilliance of bright colors, it's just an eye spy picture, one with only hiding and not seeking. Your flaws, the bruises, and the scratches, and the scars that mean something, those tiny imperfections are what make you, you. They make you who you are today. All of them are from battle and, though I don't know for sure, the picture you paint with your body when it moves from one side of the stage to the other is so beautiful, that there is no option but to look further than the scars and see what's inside that painting, what made it happen. The only option is to be the artist that you are."
She was looking back at her lap, her jeans going darker with the water spilling off of her face in little circles and big patches.
"Come here" Shay said, and pulled Emily onto her lap. She let her hips relax painfully on Shay's lap before it felt comfortable. She brought her arms up to rest on her shoulders, but not lock behind Shay's neck. Emily sagged into her embrace, completely skipping pressing herself flush against Shay and slumping her back to round it out away from her. Shay rubbed circles into her bare skin, receiving violent flinches when she went over what seemed like an otherwise well-healed bruise.
Twenty minutes later with a new t-shirt and dry, peachy eyes, Emily and Shay exited the ambulance and walked hand-in hand into the firehouse. Breaking away, Emily made her way to the bunks, and came back five minutes later dressed in something completely different. She wore tight-fitting sport leggings, the same kind of long sleeve shirt and running shoes. Her hair was pulling neatly in a fat, high pony tail, and she had equipped her arm with the band for her phone. She strode with purpose to the sink, filled a water bottle and attached it to her hip.
And then she looked Gaby in the eye and said, "I'm going for a run" and with that, she was gone.