Title: GIR, I Know What We're Gonna Do Today! (GIKWWGDT)
Chapter 5: Stuck in a Pickle
Characters: GIR, Perry, ~Monogram, Doofenshmirtz
Word count: 1032

Author's Note: Slightly modified from the original chapter. Originally, Doof's ice cream flavor was potato and Perry's trap was also a potato, but I thought about it and pickles fit better. Another major edit I made was changing the fact that Perry could talk to GIR. Looking it over this time around, Perry talking is just too weird to consider.

GIR eventually got distracted from his one-sided conversation with a squirrel, so he started to wonder around, looking for nuts to store in his dog suit. He noticed a blue duck with a beaver tail crawl past and called out to him, "Hi, blue duck thing!" GIR stuck out his tongue and waved enthusiastically.

Perry the Platypus responded with a noise like a purring car engine. GIR didn't notice, for the squirrel had returned. "Look, squirrel! I gots myself a friend!" the hyper, little robot shouted. The squirrel jumped and scampered away, clearly unsure of what to make of the strange, green dog thing.

Forgetting the squirrel, GIR turned around to talk to the blue duck thing, but he wasn't there anymore. The robot disguised as a dog looked around. "Blue ducky? Hellooo?" The blue ducky was climbing into a hole in his house that, to GIR, looked like a slide. "Blue ducky, wait for me!" he cried, jumping in after him. "WHEE HEE HEE!"

At the other end of the tube was a gigantic room. The robot stared in amazement at the assortment of spy gadgets and fun-looking flying cars. At the far end of the room was a man with a white unibrow on a giant TV screen. He was giving instructions to Perry the Platypus, who was wearing a fedora and taking notes. However, GIR noticed none of this. He was too busy climbing into one of the secret agent rocket cars. Meanwhile, Perry the Platypus hopped into the front and drove off, oblivious to the fact that GIR was in the back, hiding under a seat.

When they arrived at Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc., GIR peeked out from under the seat. "Oh, hi, blue duck!" he screamed.

Perry jumped in surprise, nearly falling over the side of the oddly shaped building. His eyes widened in shock as he recognized the "dog" from another universe. Chattering, he pointed at GIR, then at the rocket car.

GIR frowned. "You don't want me to come with you? Why are you standing like that? Where'd you get that hat? How did we get here? CAN I HAS TAQUITOS?!"

The platypus ignored all the robot's questions (as if he could answer them at all) and made a pleading motion. GIR narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Perry swallowed nervously.

"Oooooookay! I'll wait here with da monkeys," GIR said. He jumped back in and hid under the seat again, the tail on his dog suit wagging happily. "Look! Da monkeys," GIR whispered, holding up a bubblegum wrapper covered in ants.

Perry raised a nonexistent eyebrow and left without another word. He found Doofenshmirtz behind one of his infamous Inators.

Today, it was shaped like an ice cream cone. Perry walked a few feet towards him and found himself in a trap that looked and smelled like a pickle. When he saw Perry, he started his usual evil rant, "Ah, Perry the Platypus! You're probably wondering why this Inator is shaped like an ice cream cone and your trap is a pickle." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I feel like there's a pun here that I'm missing. Eh. Anyway, when I was a boy back in Gimmelshtump, my older brother Roger pushed me down, because I had an ice cream cone he wanted. He made me drop it!" To Perry's surprise (and horror), the mad scientist's eyes began to water. "And it was pickle flavor! Which explains the pickle you're in." He sighed heavily and wiped his eyes before continuing, "So I created this Drop-Your-Ice-Cream-Inator to use today, which happens to be National Ice Cream Day." He laughed evilly, satisfied with his newest evil scheme. "Isn't irony the best?"

Perry just stared. The mad scientist had some serious issues.

Perry struggled to escape the pickle he was in. Literally. He tried to reach one of his many secret agent gadgets, but soon realized they were missing from their usual spot. Meanwhile, GIR was threatening the "monkeys" with a very sharp object he had somehow pickpocketed from the platypus.

Agent P thought on his toes and went for the next best thing he could do without tools. He opened his mouth wide, baring his teeth, and bit into the pickle. Almost immediately, he spit the piece out to get rid of the offending sour taste. Bracing himself for the next bite, he continued on his quest. A few minutes in, Doofenshmirtz was wrapping up his evil speech and Perry had barely made any progress. He struggled unsuccessfully against the slimy pickle's skin.

All of a sudden, there was a loud crashing noise, and a few seconds later, Doofenshmirtz screamed. Perry turned just enough to see GIR running in circles around the mad scientist, his little feet squeaking with each step. "Look, I found a monkey!" GIR yelled, possibly referring to Doofenshmirtz.

The mad scientist stared at the strange green dog and cried, "What the heck is that?" while jerking a finger at GIR. Perry rolled his eyes, while Doof continued ranting, "Is it a dog? Why is it green? Why does it have a zipper? Its eyes aren't even pointing in the same direction!"

Perry growled loud enough to catch GIR's attention, which caused GIR to abruptly stop running and skid a few feet towards Perry. He cautiously approached the secret agent and sniffed the pickle. Doofenshmirtz, realizing where GIR ended up, snatched a remote with a big red button and pointed it at him.

Perry gasped — well, made a noise as close to gasping a platypus can make.

He growled/screamed, but it was too late. GIR shook the bars of the cage, then sat down on the floor in defeat.

"So, Perry the Platypus… this green dog… thing… is he a little friend of yours?" Doofenshmirtz studied the little green "dog". Then he gasped, "Or is he a partner?"

Perry growled. If Doofenshmirtz thought GIR was his partner, he was just as in danger as the secret agent. For the first time, Perry started to feel hopeless in their situation. With GIR also trapped and all his spy gadgets left in the rocket car, they were, for lack of a better word, doomed.