WARNING: Scenes of a SEXUAL NATURE. There is also reference to the lose of a child whilst pregnant. No offence intended. Angelwood.
The Past Can Hurt.
They arrived on the other side of the Vortex on the dead planet, seconds later. Phoenix lets go of Jack's arm instantly as the Vortex closes behind them.
"You can stay there," she tells him walking to the hut with her bag in hand and disappearing from sight.
"And what do I do standing here?" Jack asks her as she empties her bag and puts things away.
"I don't actually care Jack. I didn't want you here in the first place. Just another thing you have invaded," she shouts to him outside.
Phoenix carries on putting her things away, puts the water to one side and buries the food in the ground as it was cooler. Once she is done and has put the bag away, she lays back on her bed and closers her eyes. She hears Jack pacing around outside but as long as he was out there and she was in the hut, they couldn't talk, couldn't be alone together. In a way, she was enjoying his pacing, it was noise in a place where there was no noise. After about an hour, Jack finally plucked up the courage to go to the hut and he stopped short of the material door, took in a deep breath and walked in.
"We are supposed to be talking not me walking around out there and you in here," Jack tells her looking down at her with her eyes closed.
"You think I want to go over old ground, old ground that is going to hurt and for what? To make yourself feel better Jack. Sorry but it's hard enough ok?" she asks him.
"No it's not ok. I just had the bomb shell dropped in my lap that you were pregnant with my son. That the woman I loved was carrying my child and then lost our child and had to mourn alone. You should have never have had to go through that alone," he tells her standing at the end of the bed as she got up.
"No Jack. I shouldn't have had to go through that alone but who was there for me? You ran Jack. You ran and our son died. Our son died while I was fighting for our lives and you were nowhere to be seen," she tells him whilst she was banging her fists on his chest.
"I am so sorry Phoenix. I didn't know. I didn't know you were pregnant. If I had of known, I would have stopped you from going and kept you both safe," Jack tells her pulling her close to him and wrapping his arms around her.
"I didn't have time to tell you Jack. I had just found out myself and it had only just had time to sink into my head. I tried to tell you but it was too late, we were called out to the field," she tells him, both their tears falling now as Jack held her close.
They stood there for a minute with Jack just holding her as she wept in his arms. Jack then moved her over to the bed and sat her down. He was slightly more collected then she was but he knew that it had happened to her, her body.
"When did you first think you were pregnant?" he asks her holding onto her hand, knowing that this was going to hurt them both.
"The day when we joked about my sudden throwing up. When you said that I was either suffering from food poisoning or I was pregnant. I sat down and worked out when I had last had my period and I was way over due," Phoenix tells him not looking at him.
"Why didn't you say anything to me?" Jack asks her turning his body towards her too now.
"We had just said that given what we did for a living, it wasn't the best idea for me to get pregnant and in your heart of hearts, would you have really wanted a baby with me knowing who and what I was?" she asks him looking into his eyes.
"More than anything Phoenix. I would have given up everything for you. I would have given up the Agency. I loved you and I wanted to settle down with you. Our baby, our son would have been the icing on the cake," he tells Phoenix and her tears come back with force.
"I went to see a doctor and she confirmed that I was pregnant. She did a scan on me. I was 12 weeks pregnant Jack though I could only have been 4 weeks pregnant by my dates," she tells him and waits for the reply that she knows is coming.
"So the baby wasn't mine?" he asks her and she almost jumps off of the bed.
"Yes Jack, the baby was yours. He was all yours," she tells him standing near the wall of the hut, tears streaming.
"How could he have been? We were only sleeping together for 9 weeks," he asks her, very confused how she could have been 12 weeks pregnant with his baby when they had only been sleeping together for 9 weeks.
"Everything about me is accelerated Jack. I was the size of a full grown 10 year old when I was 1 year old. I have accelerated growth, accelerated healing, accelerated speed, accelerated strength accelerated learning capability and so it seems, any pregnancy that I have is accelerated too. The doctor checked and the baby's growth was accelerated at the speed of three weeks growth to every natural week. I was only actually 4 weeks pregnant but the baby's growth was at 12 weeks. I only another 9 weeks until I gave birth Jack, gave birth to our son," Phoenix explains to him.
It takes a few minutes to sink but then Jack seems to work it out.
"So our baby grew 3 weeks for every one week you were pregnant and you were due 9 weeks after you found out? I could have had a beautiful son 9 weeks later?" he asks her standing up and going to her.
"Yes Jack, our son was due 9 weeks after I found out I was pregnant," Phoenix confirms and then she feels Jack's arms around her.
"Please Jack, don't. This is hard enough for me without you touching me, holding me. I need to be strong and I can't be in your arms. I will just fall apart," she tells him and he holds her tightly.
"I should have been there for you when it happened but I wasn't. It should never have happened and the fact that it did is my fault," he tells her, almost whispering in her ear.
"It was my fault too Jack. I tried to tell you Jack, the day the call came. I was all ready to tell you, I had you sat down if you remember and just as I opened my mouth, the call came and we had to go. That was the day I found out I was pregnant, the day we got the call," Phoenix tells him, her tears falling hard.
"So you were going to tell me, you were going to keep the baby?" he asks her and she turns around.
"Of course I was going to tell you Jack. He was your son. I smiled all the way back from the doctors. I was worried how you would take it, becoming a father when we hadn't even really spoken about it," she tells him pulling away from him and sitting on the bed.
"I would have loved it. A son. Me, a father," he tells her as he sits down next to her on the bed.
"And then you walked away from me, walked away from me as I was being swamped by over 100 of the enemy. No back up as everyone else was dead already. Your son and I were fighting for our lives Jack and you ran away," she tells him looking away from him.
"I couldn't watch you die knowing that I could die over and over again but come back every time. I couldn't watch you fight yourself to death with no hope Phoenix. I loved you too much to watch you die," Jack tells her as he stroked her hair.
"I loved you Jack. I loved you and you walked away. Faced with all those enemy's, I lost control and I burnt through them all and I burnt through myself. I woke up 4 weeks after that day and the first thing I asked the person I first saw was if our son was ok. The elders wife told me that I had bled too much and the baby, our son hadn't survived. I didn't eat or sleep for a week after that Jack and all I wanted was you, you and our son but I couldn't have either," she tells him and he starts to cry.
"I wish I had of known. I wish that we haven't got that call when we did. I wish that I could have taken your hand and run away. I wish we could have had a life together, you, me and our son. I wish so much that I could go back and change everything, with all my heart I do but we can't Phoenix. We just can't," he tells her and she puts her head in her hands.
Jack takes hold of her arm and holds her close to him, her head on his shoulder and he kisses her head. After a minute, after they had pulled themselves together somewhat, Phoenix looked up at Jack and he looked down at her. They gazed into each others eyes.
"I still love you Phoenix," Jack tells her, his voice so gentle.
"Don't say things like that Jack. You are with Ianto," she tells him.
"I know I am with Ianto but I love you too. I suppose deep in my heart, I always have," Jack tells her and he leans in to her a little and kisses her.
"Please don't Jack. I'm not strong enough to resist you," she tells him and he kisses her again.
She kisses him back. At first their kisses are so soft and gentle, like lovers who had been separated for too long and wanted to savour every kiss. Jack's tongue soon begged entry to her mouth and she could stop herself as she gave him entry. Their tongue's massaged and teased each others, their lips hardly ever parting. Jack puts his arms around her waist and pulls her so close to him. He runs his fingers through her hair as she puts her arms around him. Jack lays Phoenix down on the bed and lays next to her, their lips never leaving each others. Jack gets up briefly and takes his long coat off, laying it on the bed and he looks down at Phoenix.
"You are beautiful," Jack tells her as he comes back down to her and kisses her again.
Their kisses became a little harder but they were still gently and full of passion. Phoenix runs her fingers through Jack's hair with one hand and she strokes his shirted back as he puts his hand on her side. He gently stroked her side, slowing moving his hand up her side and as he reached her arm pit, he stretched his thumb out and touched her breast which sent shivers down her spine. He slowly moves his hand over the side of her breast, teasing her with the tips of his fingers before running his fingers over her nipple.
They became more and more aroused, Jack's hand massaging her breast as Phoenix unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it out of his trousers. She unclips the fastenings of his braces and she slides them onto his back so she could get his shirt off, her fingers gently stroking his firm chest. His hand soon made it under her vest top, to her bra covered breast. His hand slide under her to her back, making quick work of the clasp, releasing it and releasing it's hold on her breasts. He gently teased his way back to her now naked breasts. His touch on her bare skin sent a shiver down her spine.
Their breathing almost gave way to panting, their breathing getting harder and harder the more aroused they became. In no time, Jack was in his boxers and socks and Phoenix was in her little shorts. Phoenix felt how aroused Jack was, his leg curled over hers, his erection presses against her leg. Jack's lips now on her breasts, his hand moving down her abdomen and she flinches again and he stops.
"I'm sorry," he tells her and he kisses her abdomen, a tear escaping from Phoenix's eye knowing that he should have been doing that while she was pregnant.
He works his kisses back up to her lips but his hand stays on her abdomen. They make tender love for hours and then lay in each others arms.
"Where do we go from here Jack?" Phoenix asks him as she holds his hand whilst laying on his arm.
"To be honest, I don't know Phoenix. I didn't think I would have so many feelings for you as I do. I am falling for you again and I can't stop myself," he admits to her as he looks at her holding his hand.
"What about Ianto?" she asks Jack feeling guilty for what they had just done.
"I love him with all my heart. We fought so hard to be together. I love him but I am falling for you again. I need Ianto, I love Ianto and I want to be with Ianto but I want you in my life too," he further admits.