Tell Me Phoenix.
As Phoenix looked deep into Jack's eyes and he looked deep into hers, she knew she had to turn away even if she really didn't want to. She needed to stop looking in his eyes before the urge to kiss him got too much for her.
"What plans have been made?" the Doctor asks them both and Phoenix takes the opportunity to focus on someone else.
"I have been training the team though we are at the early stages of training," Phoenix starts but then Jack butts in.
"U.N.I.T. are on board as well as the British Army and the RAF," Jack tells the Doctor and Phoenix's head snaps back to look at Jack.
"WHAT? What have you done Jack?" she asks him, getting up off the sofa and then feeling unsteady but as Jack jumps to grab her, she pushes his hand away and steadies herself.
"I got some back up so you don't have to worry about us. You concentrate your attention on The Devourer," Jack tells her as she walks around the workstation area.
"Your messing with time Jack. My being here is delicate enough. I don't need hundreds of troops seeing me as well. If that had of been possible, don't you think I would have suggested it?" she asks him, concern written all over her face.
"Why is this messing with time Phoenix?" the Doctor asks Phoenix as she stops at the autopsy room wall.
"I am out there with no idea of who I actually am. I don't go by the name of Adina or Phoenix. I don't know that I am a demigoddess. I am crossing my own timeline," Phoenix tells them both and the looks on their faces change.
"You know how dangerous that is," the Doctor tells Phoenix.
"I know. That's why I can't be out there no matter how much I might want to be. If I come into contact with myself, it will cause a Paradox, a Paradox that not even I can stop," Phoenix tells them as she punches the wall, breaking a few tiles.
"Then why? Why risk a Paradox?" Jack asks her.
"Because despite all the heart ache I suffered on this planet, I would rather save and protect it than let The Devourer drain it of all life," she tells them rubbing brick and tile dust off of her hand.
"That doesn't answer the question Phoenix. Why risk a Paradox?" the Doctor asks her knowing her and he knows something else is behind it.
"I won't risk a Paradox if I don't go out there and bump into myself will I?" she tells them avoiding the question again not wanting to tell them the answer, tell Jack the answer.
"Why are you risking yourself? Risking a Paradox?" the Doctor asks her again.
"For Jack. Are you happy now?" she asks the Doctor as she walks away.
"Why me?" Jack asks her, following her but she says nothing and carries on walking towards the range.
"You go and let Ianto out and I will go after her," the Doctor tells Jack and Jack nods.
When the Doctor arrives at the range, amazingly never once getting lost on the way which given the maze that the hub was, was a miracle in it's self, Phoenix was sat on the table with her knees up, her arms folded on her knees and her head on her arms.
"What is going on Phoenix? I know that there is more behind all this so tell me," the Doctor asks her.
"Please leave it. I think I have made enough of a fool of myself without doing it again," she tells him not lifting her head up.
"I know you love Jack but I didn't know how much," the Doctor tells Phoenix.
"You know the history we have even if he doesn't. I hate the fact that I had to wipe his memory and will again. If I survive this, I will have to do this to all five of them, removing ever trace of me. They won't remember me, he won't remember me," she tells him still not lifting her head up.
"You know it has to be done. You knew that before you came here but you still came but what did you come here for? Earth? The people? Torchwood or was it Jack?" the Doctor asks her.
"Don't. You know it's all four. Earth, the place where I lived. The people as they looked after me since I was 10 years old. Torchwood because they found out who I really was and Jack, Jack because he's Jack," she tells him finally looking up at the Doctor.
"Your really going to sacrifice yourself for Torchwood, for Jack?" he asks her leaning against the table.
"I'm sacrificing myself for Earth, for all mankind," she tells him putting her head back on her arms.
"Stop kidding yourself Phoenix. Your doing this because you know that if The Devourer gets hold of Jack, it with drain everything he has and this time he won't come back from it, it will be the end for Jack Harkness, once and for all," the Doctor tells her and as he does, she cries.
"I can't bare that thought. I would rather sacrifice myself than let that happen. We loved each other, more than once but once he remembers. I am the only one who won't grow old on him, I can give him a family but I can't have him. He loves Ianto and no matter how much I want Jack and I want him with everything I am, I can't get in the way of that. I can't live with it," Phoenix tells the Doctor.
"You are all kinds of messed up," the Doctor tells her and she starts to cry again.
"I am so tired Doctor. Tired of the responsibility I have with these abilities, abilities I never wanted. I'm tired of the nightmares, visions of the past, visions of the future. I'm tired of being the last one standing at the end of a battle or war. I'm tired of losing everyone I love. I'm tired of never having a home, always travelling from one place to the next, one planet after another, never fitting in. I'm tired of being Adina and what being her brings. I'm tired of not being able to keep hold of love. I want to love and know that I can keep it. I'm tired Doctor. I have lived like this for far too long," Phoenix confesses, the weariness in her voice echoing through the range.
"Would Jack change that?" the Doctor asks her and she doesn't move.
"Some of it. Being with him was the happiest time of my life. I laughed, loved, had fun, slept. I knew that he couldn't die on me. When I found out I was having his son, after the shock wore off, I was happy, truly happy. We were going to be a family. Our son, Jack and I. You know I have wanted a family for so long," she tells him.
"Why don't you tell him that?" the Doctor asks her and her head flies up.
"He's with Ianto. They are a couple. I don't ever want him to know how I really feel," she tells the Doctor.
"He already knows don't you Jack?" the Doctor says out loud and Jack enters the range.
As Phoenix hears the footsteps, she lifts her head and closes her eyes, hoping to god that he didn't speak, that it wasn't his voice but she knew it was him.
"I know now. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me that you felt like that?" Jack asks her coming to the table and as he does, Phoenix jumps off of the other side so the table is between them.
"Why didn't you tell me Doctor? Why didn't you tell me that he was there?" Phoenix asks him, hurt in her eyes.
"Because everyone needs to lay their cards on the table Phoenix. You can't get through this on your own. You have too much going on in your head and you aren't strong enough. If people know how you feel, they can help you, help you become stronger," the Doctor tells her.
"How is he going to help me?" she asks the Doctor, not even looking at Jack.
"He is still here you know," Jack replies as he hated being talked about whilst in the room. More than most people do.
"I'm not doing this Doctor. You had no right to do this to me. Let me lay my soul bare with him listening. How could you? You know how I feel about that," Phoenix tells the Doctor moving around the table, eyeing up the doorway.
"I'm here Phoenix. Right in front of you. Tell me. Tell me that you love me. Tell me how tired you are. Tell me something Phoenix," Jack almost demands from her.
"How much did you hear Jack? How long were you there for?" she asks him still moving around the table.
"I heard from you telling the Doctor how tired you were," Jack tells her.
"Then you know everything Jack. Why ask me to say it again?" Phoenix asks him, moving a little closer to the door.
"Because I want you to tell me," Jack replies with a true need in his voice.
She looks at Jack, looks at his eyes, she sees his need and it scares her. She had that look once. She then turns to the Doctor and he knows exactly what she was thinking, the same thing she always thought. Run! That's what she did, straight out of the range door.
"Leave her Jack. Let her go," the Doctor tells Jack, stopping him from following her.
Before anyone knew it, she was gone again. Out on the streets of Cardiff, in the dark of night, all alone again like she always was.