Author's note: It's me again! Hope you're all well and I really appreciate all the reviews, favourites and follows I've received so far. They keep the creative juices flowing and, to thank you lovely people, I've posted another chapter. :)

Chapter ten

Dear Isabella,

The letter began so formally. I had stared at the page for a ridiculously long time, before even beginning to start reading any of the words. I was terrified and intrigued in equal measure. Eventually, the page had been flipped to the front and rested in my crossed lap as I proceeded to read.

By now I have no doubt that you know exactly what we are. If words could express how truly sorry I am I would use them, but fear that none suffice on this occasion. Please believe me when I tell you that I never meant for any of this to happen the way it has. When Alice first befriended you, none of us had any idea how important you would start to become to our family, but I realise that things are very different now. Whilst no expectation is made upon you to even read this letter, I hope you will allow me the chance to explain.

We are vampires, or Cold Ones as the Quileutes call us. I know your family is close friends with the Blacks, so can imagine you have heard the tribal tales. I first came to Washington with my family almost a century ago, but it was not until 2010 that Alice, Jasper and I moved to Forks. Until that point, we led a somewhat nomadic existence, but something about this town compelled us to settle.

We have kept to ourselves for the most part, making only minor acquaintances during our time here. This means that we were unprepared when Alice began spending a large amount of time with you. My first worry was that our secret may inadvertently be revealed. I could tell when I met you that, beneath the quiet exterior, lay an inquisitive soul, so, whilst I never discouraged her friendship with you, I did ask for caution on her part. As it turns out, the caution should have been mine.

It was by pure chance that our paths crossed during your attack and, although I will never regret my actions, I do regret subjecting you to my true nature in the way I did. I never meant to cause you such distress, but, in that moment, sense gave way to anger and I apologise for that. I knew someone long ago in a similar situation and would never wish such horror upon anyone else, so I hope that will go some way to explain my reaction that night. If you are wondering about the fate of your attacker, he is currently behind bars, awaiting trial.

I know this letter will likely raise more questions than it answers, but there is one thing I want to make absolutely clear. Regardless of what we are, what we do and what we have done in the past, please know that we would never, ever do you harm. You became a good friend to Alice and for that I am extremely grateful. I thank you for giving me your time to read this letter, but the decision of where to go from here is entirely yours. If, at any time, you wish to speak with any of us, please do not hesitate. You know where we live and have the number for Alice, as well as the house. I have also included my number at the bottom of this letter. If, however, you choose to have no further contact, we will respect your wishes and you will never hear from us again.

Be safe, Isabella.

Yours sincerely,

Carlisle Cullen.

I let out a breath I didn't even realise I had been holding. Tears stained my lashes as I read the words over and over again. What was happening? My stomach twisted in knots and my heart was pumping blood around my body so fast, I thought I might faint. After the fourth read, I had to leave the bed, if only to tear my sight away from that piece of paper. My fingers seemed to burn from where they had touched it and I paced back and forth in my bedroom as I tried to process the information. Despite the repeated perusals, I could barely remember a thing he had written and was forced to pick up the letter once again to scan the contents.

It was so calm, so thoughtful-everything I had considered him to be before that night. A million thoughts and questions swam through my head and I had to stop moving, close my eyes and take several deep breaths. I inhaled deeply through the nose and exhaled heavily through the mouth. My palms fisted in my hair to tug at the roots, as if using the pain to remind me I wasn't dreaming. I continued the breathing and hair-pulling process until I felt my heartbeat start to slow to a normal pace. When I was sure I was past the point of a nervous breakdown, I slowly opened my eyes and let go of my hair. The letter was still clutched in my left hand, the edge crumpled by my fisted fingers. I hesitantly returned my attention to the writing, ready to meticulously analyse each sentence, hoping to gain some understanding of the fantastical world I found myself residing in.

So, Carlisle was a-deep breath-vampire, as were Alice and Jasper.

The Quileutes were aware of this.

Vampires fed on humans.

The Cullens did not.

There was a truce between the Cullens and Quileutes that allowed said vampires to live amongst people.

Their true identities were a secret.

But not from the Quileutes...

...or me.

I had to sit down. I didn't know what to do. I needed time; time to think, to work things out, to realise exactly how I felt about the whole situation. I was so conflicted. Before learning what they really were, at no point had I ever felt threatened by the Cullens. Yet, Jacob's wariness had to come from somewhere. He said that his tribe were considered "guardians" of the land-well, there had to be a reason for that. But, he also said that the Cullens were different, that they hunted animals, not people. Carlisle assured me in the letter that they would never hurt me, but I had witnessed him hurl a man at least his size halfway down a street. And his eyes...I didn't think I could ever meet them again.

There was to be no sleeping that night.

000

True to his word, Carlisle hadn't killed my assailant. Charlie clarified that when I asked him the next morning.

"I was waiting until you might be ready to talk about it," he said. "But he's been in the cells for the past few days now. They found him right where you said you were attacked."

I nodded, letting it all sink in. It may have seemed bizarre, but I was glad he was still alive-it lessened the monstrous fears I had of Carlisle, if only minutely.

"The only thing is," Charlie continued. "We'll need a statement from you. I know you've already told me what happened, but an official one needs to be made so we can charge that piece of shit. I wanted to find the right moment to bring it up."

"That's fine," I said, biting my lip. "I'll do it today if you want."

He studied me for a moment. "Really?"

"Uh-huh. There's no sense putting it off any longer."

"I know, but are you sure?"

"Yes, Dad," I assured. "He needs to pay for what he did and I can stop him from doing it to any more girls." My comment reminded me of a line from Carlisle's letter: "I knew someone long ago in a similar situation and would never wish such horror upon anyone else." He had been right when he said the letter would raise more questions than it answered.

After a few more assurances that I was ready to face my demons, Charlie told me to get dressed while he called Jacob to let him know we wouldn't be home for a while. The ride to the police station was quiet and I felt nervousness do somersaults in my stomach as I knew I was about to relive the horrendous event. Luckily, the process was generally quick and simple. I sat in a small room with an officer-who turned out to be none other than Officer Burt-and described all I could of what had happened. Unfortunately, I couldn't identify the perpetrator as I hadn't actually seen him, but, from what I could gather, there was a hefty amount of evidence to suggest he did it. I was uncharacteristically apathetic for once in my life. As long as the guy was locked behind bars permanently, I didn't care much about the method.

Charlie gave me a lift back home and, for the first time in almost a week, I actually elected to stay at home by myself. I wasn't the only one acting out of character that day as he grabbed me in a tight embrace and told me how proud he was, before heading back to work. I actually had a smile on my face as I closed the front door.

After giving the kitchen a quick once over, I realised how badly I had let the housework slip. That, as much as anything, told me it was time for Bella to return. Firstly, though, I needed to call Jacob to tell him not to bother coming round. Then I called Jerry to inform him I'd be returning to work on the Thursday. The call ended up lasting almost half an hour as he wanted to know exactly what had happened, if I was alright and whether the "despicable bastard" had been caught yet. He sounded much happier when I eventually signed off and I commenced with Operation Tidy.

When I reached my room, my eyes immediately sought out the envelope containing Carlisle's letter lying innocently on the bedside table. It seemed to have the gravitational pull of a black hole, like everything in the room was drawn towards it. I could have sworn it was weighing down that corner of the house. I couldn't help but pick it up and pluck out the letter inside. It was like a compulsion, reading it again. I almost knew the words off by heart, but each read felt like the first. I skimmed the last paragraph again, my eyes stopping on one line in particular.

"If, at any time, you wish to speak with any of us, please do not hesitate."

How could a sentence so simple instil so much fear...and longing? The prospect of seeing them again sent icy shivers down my spine, but the thought of never seeing them again felt oddly...unpleasant. Was I ready to see them? I didn't know. The letter was returned to the bedside table and I went back downstairs.

The house was filled with the aroma of grilled chicken as Charlie walked through the door that evening. The smile present when he had driven off that morning was still there on his face as he watched me put the plates and cutlery on the table.

"Smelling good, Bells," he commented as he hung up his coat and holster.

I had to admit, after a solitary day of simple housework, I was feeling much more like my old self again. We ate in comfortable silence, before Charlie retired to the lounge in front of the television and I decided to join him for a little while. I held no particular interest in anything he watched, but simply enjoyed his relaxed company. During that time, I wondered idly how to occupy myself the next day. Jacob initially came to mind and I considered showing him the letter. What would he make of it? I remembered the very serious warning he had given me the day after my attack and thought better of it. I doubted he would be the best person to understand my mental turmoil. It dawned on me then that I had absolutely nobody to discuss the problem with. The only wisdom I could rely on was my own. It didn't fill me with confidence.

In the end, I settled for staying at home. I tidied, cleaned, cooked and read. I even managed to fit in a call to my mom. It was brief and nowhere near as awkward as I'd thought. Charlie had clearly not said anything about the assault, which was definitely a good thing. She would've been on the first plane out here, otherwise and I wasn't ready for her yet. As much as I loved my mom, she would be hysterical with rage and demanding justice, which would inevitably end up in a row between her and Charlie. Nobody needed that kind of aggravation, me least of all. I had much greater things occupying my mind. She did chastise me for leaving it so long without calling, but seemed pleased to hear how peaceful and boring my life currently was. She hinted at an upcoming visit, but I played ignorant to them, doubting that plan would even come to fruition; she'd never been a fan of wet climates.

That night followed the previous seven by plaguing me with an assortment of nightmares. Never again would I complain about the recurring yellow and white dream. Nerves assaulted my limbs as I climbed out of bed Thursday morning. Firstly, bus journeys were seldom ending well for me lately. Secondly, I dreaded my lunch break. Would Alice be there? Carlisle had assured me in his letter that if I didn't contact them, they'd leave me alone. Would she comply? I had no choice but to find out as I couldn't afford to avoid work for the rest of my life. I was showered and dressed in record time, a symptom of my anxiety and locked the front door, before heading for the bus stop.

Jerry actually hugged me when I entered the bookstore. It was a little awkward, but I appreciated the sentiment behind it, so gently tapped his back a couple of times in thanks. I wasn't entirely focused during my shift as my head whipped to face the entrance every time the bell above the door tinkled. Luckily, I was on shelf stacking and stock rotation duties for most of the day, so could hide out the back if my worst fears were realised. Whatever deity happened to be passing by that day was clearly in a good mood, because there was no sign of Alice-or any other Cullen-that day. The rush of relief turned my body to jelly and my hands trembled as I grabbed my bag at the end of my shift. As I waited for my bus home, I felt a prickling of disappointment at the back of my skull. I started to feel a little frustrated with myself at that point. Either I wanted to see them or I didn't! I vowed to go straight to my room that evening and finally make a decision.

Unfortunately, my resolve was frozen by the sight of Jacob lounging on my porch.

"Hey...Jake," I greeted slowly, confusion creasing my brow. "What brings you here?"

"Came to see how you're doing," he replied, reaching his full immense height as he stood to let me open the door. "Charlie said you went to the station Tuesday."

"Yeah, I had to give a statement. It wasn't too bad, though."

"Good," he said, nodding and shoving his hands in his pockets.

We entered the house and I noticed how distracted he seemed. I began to wonder if his visit was more than just a social call.

"How was work?" he asked.

"Fine."

Silence. I could tell he was leading up to something, I just wasn't sure what.

"Did Alice show?"

Bingo!

I paused by the refrigerator, my hand resting on the door handle. "No, she didn't."

"Good," he said again. "Have you heard anything from them since that night?"

"Apart from a few missed calls, nothing," I lied. At that moment I realised I was right to keep the letter secret from him-it was clear he wouldn't take the knowledge of its existence very well. I retrieved cheese and sliced ham from the refrigerator, before closing it.

"Nothing at all?"

"Nope." I was glad my back was to him while I made the sandwich. He'd see straight through my fallacy the second he saw my face.

"Huh," Jacob murmured and I tried to decipher his attitude. He certainly wasn't happy at that point.

I finished the sandwich and grabbed a small plate from one of the wall cupboards beside me to place it on. As I turned to finally face him, I watched him take a seat at the table, while I took a large bite of my sandwich. He didn't lean back in the chair, which only confirmed his agitation. The drumming of his fingers on the tablecloth told me something was on his mind. He leaned forward, clasping his hands together as he addressed me again.

"I only ask," he began. "Because I saw Carlisle hanging around here a few nights ago."

My sandwich actually dropped out of my hand. "What?" I asked in disbelief. Whether that disbelief was aimed towards Carlisle's actions or Jacob's, I wasn't sure.

"Yeah, he was skulking around the porch while you two were out." Acid laced his words.

My heartbeat sped up. I was sure it would give out any day now, with all the stress it had to endure. "W-what do you mean, "skulking"?"

Jake leaned back in the chair a little. "Well, maybe not skulking, but he was definitely loitering. I think he was trying to see if you were home. When he realised you weren't, he pushed something through the letterbox and left."

"Oh," was all I could manage to say. He was going to ask, I knew it. I didn't want to tell him about the letter, it would do nothing for his current mood, so I attempted to distract him. "Why were you here?"

"Keeping an eye on you."

He said it like it was the most normal, obvious thing in the world.

"Why?"

Jacob stopped leaning back in the chair to return to his previous position. His face was very serious and he let out a deep sigh, before answering my question. "Nobody is supposed to know about vampires, Bella. It's a secret they guard furiously, so the fact that you are the only human in Forks, or even this state, who knows the truth, worries me. I wanted to make sure they didn't try anything."

The ability of speech evaded me. I had been worried about the Cullens coming here for the past week, but it threw me when I realised I had never even considered the idea that they might actually try to hurt me for knowing what they were. Carlisle had assured me none of them would, but was it all a ruse? It couldn't be, there was that truce, after all and too many people had seen me hanging around with Alice. Surely they wouldn't try anything under those circumstances? I wanted desperately to reread that letter, to search it for any traces of deceit.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice broke through my internal struggle and my eyes met his. "Don't worry, we're all prepared. But, I need to know what he put through the letterbox."

Oh no. Even though I was horribly conflicted, I still felt possessive over the small document. I didn't want Jacob's anger to taint it, or twist the words into something more sinister than I had interpreted them to be.

"Regardless of what we are, what we do and what we have done in the past, please know that we would never, ever do you harm."

I already knew what they were, but only some of what they did and nothing of what they had done in the past. What did those words really mean? Had they actually killed people at some point? At what point had they decided to forgo humans and live off animals? Was the truce the sole motivation, or was it a decision made before they came here? And just how satisfying a substitute was an animal compared to a person? That sentence suddenly infuriated me. Why would Carlisle include such a vague and line? He must have realised how disconcerting it could be. If reassurance had been his aim, he should have just left it at telling me he'd never hurt me. As I thought about it, I wondered if he had done it purposely for that very reason. He'd said the decision to speak to them or not was mine, but I couldn't do that if I didn't know exactly what I was getting myself in to, could I?

No, no, no, Jacob was wrong. It wasn't as he thought, it couldn't be. I had been alone with Alice several times and completely alone in a house with all three of them and nothing had happened at all. Alice had never been anything less than sweet, friendly and helpful, the same with Carlisle. In fact, were it not for Carlisle Cullen, I may not have even been here any longer. If the car hadn't landed me in hospital at the very least, then certainly the madman that had assaulted me would have. A creature painted in myths and legends to be the villain, to be the one that caused harm, was actually the very reason Jacob was able to warn me against them right now.

I felt a stirring in my neck and chest as I realised that. I had a feeling my decision was close to being made, all I had to do was get rid of Jacob. He was watching me expectantly and I forgot what it was he had just asked.

"Um, Jake," I began. "Dad's going to be home anytime now. I really need to start getting dinner on the table."

"You didn't answer me," he reminded. "What did Carlisle give you? Was it a letter?"

If only I could have concocted some sort of falsehood on the fly. Unfortunately, my inadequacies at lying forced me to tell the truth. "Yes," I eventually replied, somewhat reluctantly.

Jacob was on his feet in an instant, highly alert. "What did it say?" he demanded.

"Nothing you haven't already told me," I clarified.

"And..?"

I let out a moan of exasperation. "What do you want me to say? It was just a letter and I still haven't worked out exactly how I feel about it all yet. Now, if you don't mind, I need to start cooking."

"Bella..."

"Please, Jake," I pleaded, my hands on his arm steering him towards the door. "I need time to think, alright? You've got to admit, this is a pretty big thing for anyone to take in. I bet you weren't so calm and collected when you found out."

"No," he conceded. "I guess not." He placed a large hand on the door handle, but turned to me before opening it. "Just promise me something, Bella," he requested. "Be careful."

I nodded, before escorting him outside. When the door was shut, I leaned against it and closed my eyes. There was a hidden meaning behind his request. By be careful, he actually meant don't even think about seeing the Cullens, Isabella Swan! My eyes flicked open as indignance took over. Everyone kept telling me to be careful. Was I such a fragile, idiotic little girl that I couldn't be trusted with my own welfare? I was clumsy, not suicidal!

I told Jacob I had to cook-and I fully intended to do so-but I had another task to complete first. I almost ran up the stairs to my bedroom and immediately grabbed the envelope. Before opening it, I closed my eyes and gave myself an ultimatum. I would read the letter for the last time and, the moment my eyes grazed the final word, I would either contact them or throw the letter away and never think about them again. I nodded, briefly wondering if my actions could be interpreted as the initial signs of insanity, before carefully pulling the sheet of paper out of the envelope. I had lost count of how many times my eyes had danced over the words, but they captured my attention as easily as the first time. Before long, I reached the end, but couldn't seem to pull my irises away from the name signed at the bottom. Each consonant, every vowel-they held a power over me that I found difficult to overcome. I knew it was my mind's way of stalling while it finally came to a decision and I was reminded of the checklist of facts I had made after the initial read of the letter. Time had offered no greater understanding, but my recent conversation with Jacob offered a new perspective.

Yes, the Cullens were vampires.

I, like the Quileutes, was aware of this.

Vampires famously fed on humans.

But a truce between the Cullens and Quileutes meant this particular trio of vampires did not.

Their true identities were a secret.

A secret that was revealed to me when Carlisle Cullen saved my life.

He had done so twice.

I knew right then and there that my decision had been made. All I had to do was choose who to speak to first. As one weight was shunted off my shoulders, another took its place. There were three people I could contact at that moment and I had to figure out who would be best. Or, maybe it was a case of who I was least afraid to talk to first. I weighed the pros and cons of each person.

Jasper-I knew him least of all, which made me feel awkward about approaching him. Then again, the lack of emotional involvement could make it easier to talk to him about everything without feeling so conflicted.

Alice-Like Jasper, I had yet to actually see her-how could I phrase it?-vampire side, so I wouldn't have constant flashbacks of that night when I looked at her. But she had also become a good friend and that made it all the harder to know that such a massive secret had been kept hidden from me.

Then there was Carlisle. Everything had begun with him. He'd lived in this part of the world longer than the other two and had made the truce with the Quileutes. If anyone had all the answers, it would be him. But, the question remained of whether I could bear to face him. Would it be too much? I had once been fascinated by those caramel eyes, but now all they did was remind me of what they could turn into.

I was pacing the room again. The Cullens had often had that effect on me as of late. One thing was for sure, I couldn't carry on this way forever. Even if I spoke to Alice or Jasper, I knew I'd eventually have to face the doctor again. Why prolong the path to the inevitable? In a moment of courage, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and input the number written at the bottom of the page. My finger lingered over the call button, before cowardice reared its head and made me compose a text message instead.

Carlisle, its Bella. Can we meet to talk?

I typed and sent it at lightning speed, before I had chance to reverse the decision. I started pacing again, before the sound of a car in the driveway made me race to the window. It was the cruiser and I cursed as I'd forgotten all about dinner. I knew Charlie never expected it, but it meant he would have a longer wait before we could eat. The phone still clutched in my hand, I raced downstairs to the kitchen to figure out if we had the ingredients to rustle up a quick meal.

Charlie was whistling as he entered and I wondered what had put him in such a good mood. The look on his face as he saw me was enough to make me realise my recovery from the ordeal I'd suffered was probably the cause. In the cupboards I'd managed to find pasta and a jar of cooking sauce, so immediately set to work. Every few minutes, I'd check my phone to see if Carlisle had replied, but was disappointed each time. My heart was working double time with the anticipation and I couldn't keep my hands or feet still. My toes tapped mercilessly on the floor as I waited for the pasta to boil and my fingers drummed on the kitchen counter as I stirred the sauce in the pan. Thankfully, Charlie was upstairs getting changed as I did all this.

The meal was prepared and I handed him his plate as he sat in front of the TV. I reclined on the sofa beside his chair as I picked at my meal. I'd given most of the food to my dad as apprehension had somewhat quelled my appetite. My legs stretched out on the two-seater, ankles crossed and, after a few minutes, I noticed Charlie looking at me. I raised my brows in question.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"You haven't stopped fidgeting since you sat down, Bells. You're foot's going crazy."

"Oh, sorry," I said, swivelling my body to sit upright, making a conscious effort to still my limbs.

Another glance at my phone told me Carlisle still hadn't replied. I tried not to be impatient; he did work at a hospital, after all. I was just worried about my resolve wavering before I actually got to talk to him. Before I knew it, my plate was empty, so I walked to the kitchen to put it in the sink and looked around for a distraction. There weren't enough dishes to wash and all the other housework had been done the day before. I was too hyped up to read and whatever Charlie was watching on the television held no interest for me whatsoever. I let out a deep sigh, my finger tapping the counter again.

Then my pocket vibrated and I almost leapt to the ceiling. My fingers fumbled with my trouser pocket as they reached for the phone to pull it out. The glowing screen informed me I had one new message. I opened it.

I finish work at ten.

A/N: This chapter was a pain in the arse to write! I knew exactly what I wanted to be said and happen, but had no idea of how to write it. I got there in the end, though. Hope you all enjoyed :)