The Other Side of the Story: John's Point of View

Interlude 7: You know ... the woman I live with!

"Sabina?" I awoke suddenly in the darkness, alone and confused. Thinking the lights on to full I glanced around the room in confusion. Why was I sleeping in my old quarters? My brain felt dulled beyond the usual 'I just woke up' confusion. Trying to recall what I'd done just before going to bed was difficult ... in fact the last couple of days were a bit of a blur beyond the main events.

McKay had broken the Gate, leaving my team Atlantis bound for the foreseeable future. I'd checked in at his lab to see if he'd made progress and then ... come here to sleep? Grabbing my radio headset I dialled in to a private channel and hooked it quickly around my ear.

"Sabina, this is John," I spoke quietly, waiting anxiously for a response ... in vain. "Sabina - come in?" Still nothing. What the hell was going on here?! The radio obviously wasn't working so I decided to just walk down to our quarters. I could only imagine what Sabina was thinking over my not turning up last night.

Ten minutes later I was standing in the middle of our room ... only it wasn't our room at all. It looked exactly the same as the first time I'd found it – nothing of our occupation evident. No clothes, no photos, no mess.

And no Sabina.

"Sabina, this is John. If you can hear me, please respond." I didn't expect a response this time, and wasn't surprised when I didn't get one. Something odd was going on here and I needed help to work out what.

"McKay this is Sheppard."

"Colonel," McKay's sleep filled grouchy voice came back immediately. "You do realise its 4am right?"

"I need your help," I told him quickly. "I can't find Sabina."

"Who?" Rodney's voice was confused as well as impatient.

"Sabina," I repeated insistently. "You know ... the woman I live with!"

"Oh I get it," Rodney laughed sarcastically. "This is some kind of practical joke right? Nice one. As if you would have a live in girlfriend!"

"This isn't a joke McKay," I retorted angrily. "Are you trying to tell me you don't know who Sabina is?"

"Ah ... yes," Rodney replied, his tone all at once uncertain. "You don't have a live in girlfriend Sheppard. Maybe you need to go see Doctor Keller."

"Maybe it's you who needs to see the Doc," I replied impatiently.

"Okay, we'll both go see Keller," Rodney suggested. "I'll meet you there."

"Fine," I closed of the channel abruptly, striding from the room without a backward glance.

oOo

An hour later the situation hadn't improved. Turns out Keller didn't know who Sabina was either. Neither did Ronon or Teyla when I called them down to the infirmary to talk about it.

"If this is all true then how come you weren't looking for this Sabina yesterday?" Rodney challenged.

"I wasn't?" I frowned trying to think back beyond the past day and still finding it difficult.

"You did not mention Sabina at all," Teyla confirmed in a gentle tone.

"So you're telling me I've suddenly started imagining a whole life with a woman named Sabina, that I fabricated this out of thin air?" I looked from Doctor Keller to Teyla, and then on to Rodney. Their expressions were similar, uncomfortable over the level of emotion I was displaying just as much as they were over my apparent creation of a different life. "This is crazy!"

"I'll run some tests," Jennifer suggested tentatively. "Maybe there's some physiological reason your memories have been altered. Some kind of bacteria or other ... pathogen."

"I didn't make Sabina up," I said quietly, sure within myself about the truth. "This is all wrong."

"We will work this out John," Teyla put a hand on my arm reassuringly.

"Run the tests," I told Keller abruptly. "When mine come back clean you can start running tests on everyone else."

"Of course Colonel," Keller agreed easily.

oOo

After an unsatisfying morning in the infirmary I was no closer to understanding why no one else could remember Sabina. Teyla had volunteered to be tested along with me and the results so far were identical. There was no physical reason I'd be conjuring a complete person out of nowhere and no reason for Teyla to have forgotten one. Regardless of what the tests showed I knew Sabina existed which meant she was somewhere, alone and maybe hurt - anything to explain why she didn't answer her radio or find her way back to me.

It became clear that no one was going to go out looking for Sabina, which meant I had to convince them I'd come to my senses so I could go look for her by myself.

When Jennifer came back to us with the results from the latest tests I prepared myself to convince her I'd changed my mind about the whole thing.

"Well Colonel, I'm still finding nothing to explain these additional memories," she told me with a puzzled frown. "I can't really think of anything else to do but rerun all the tests again, see if we missed anything."

"That's okay Doc," I said with a casual smile. "The memories are starting to fade ... I don't know, maybe it was just a really vivid dream?"

"Well, perhaps if you were under a great deal of stress your mind might manifest that in unusual dream activity," Keller said uncertainly. "I would have expected you to know it wasn't real much sooner than this though."

"I have been worried about the Stargate being broken," I offered up that excuse. "I don't like that we can't go off world if we need to. It's been a week but McKay still hasn't fixed it."

"All right Colonel," Jennifer said decisively. "We'll hold off on doing more tests for now. Let's see how you sleep tonight. And I expect you to report to me immediately if these false memories return or get stronger."

"Sure thing Doc," I replied easily, swinging my legs off the infirmary bed and jumping down quickly. "I think I'll go check in with McKay and Zelenka – see if they've made progress on the Gate." Not waiting for either Jennifer or Teyla to protest I turned and strolled casually from the infirmary.

Knowing I'd have to behave as they expected to avoid suspicion I headed straight for the Control Room, assuming that'd be where the two scientists were working.

"All right," I announced when I arrived. "Do we know what the problem is?"

"Yeah," Rodney said sarcastically. "The Gate's not working." Turning to look at me with a frown he continued. "Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?"

"Nothing wrong with me," I said dismissively. "Are you telling me we're no further along than we were last week when you broke the Gate?"

"I did not break it!" Rodney retorted indignantly.

"It just happened to stop working around the same time you were screwing around with it," I suggested grimly.

"I wasn't screwing around with it," Rodney insisted. "I was running a streamlining programme designed to boost its operating efficiency."

"Yeah, well, good job!" I replied facetiously.

"It had nothing to do with why the Gate malfunctioned!" Rodney continued defensively. "Look, we've been able to eliminate a number of possible reasons, including my streamlining programme, and I feel confident that we're making some progress and that things will be up and running in ...,"

The sound of an impact in the distance interrupted Rodney's words.

"What was that?" Rodney asked of the room as a whole.

"An unidentified object just struck the city," one of the technicians reported.

"Well, why didn't the sensors pick it up?" Rodney demanded.

"I don't know. It came in too fast?" the technician suggested.

"I'm getting a low-level energy signature," Rodney reported, looking closely at the nearest screen.

"What could it be?" Radek asked worriedly.

"Let's find out," I suggested decisively, running quickly from the Control room with the others close at my heels.

While I resented that following up on that impact was going to stop me from looking for Sabina I knew I'd have to play along. They'd never believe I was myself otherwise and I was beginning to realise how important it was to convince everyone I was fine.

The city had been hit by a probe, unidentified and not from any familiar source. Luckily no one had been injured. McKay and Zelenka took it back to Rodney's lab to work out what they could. I left to do my sweep of the city but ran into Major Lorne on my way out.

"Colonel. Do we know what it is yet?" he asked in concern.

"Looks like a probe of some kind," I offered what little we had so far.

"Any idea who sent it?" Lorne persisted.

"McKay and Zelenka'll figure it out," I dismissed.

"And in the meantime, who's working on the Gate?" Lorne asked with a worried frown.

"The Gate can wait," I told him seriously. "This is more important."

"Well, with all due respect, sir, I think they're equally important," Lorne countered. "Wouldn't it make more sense to keep Zelenka working on this mystery object and move McKay back to his Gate diagnostics? It's already been over a week now."

"Major, not being able to use the Gate is an inconvenience," I pointed out grimly. "The possibility that someone may have pinpointed our location is a threat. The threat gets the priority."

"Yes, sir," Lorne said with a blank expression. He was about to walk away when my next question stopped him.

"Major, who's usually on your team when you go off world?"

"Sir?" Lorne frowned in confusion. "Shouldn't you already know that? You assigned all the teams after all."

"Just humour me Major," I replied.

"Yes Sir," Lorne agreed. "My off world team is usually Lieutenants Brown and Parker and Private Reed. When we need science personnel we usually take Zelenka."

"Okay," I waved him off, frowning as he turned and strode off down the corridor. I don't know what I expected from asking him about his team ... I guess I was just hoping someone would realise Sabina was missing. Who'd be better for that than Lorne, her team leader?

The more I thought about it though the more Lorne's initial behaviour troubled me. Not that he wasn't capable of getting his own opinion across, but Major Lorne didn't usually do it in such a head on manner. Come to think of it, Keller's behaviour earlier in the day seemed out of character too. She'd let me leave the infirmary without an argument, even though she had no idea what or if anything was wrong with me.

Heading towards the nearest transport station I pondered that. Something was definitely wrong. Unfortunately until someone else came to the same conclusion I was on my own.

oOo

Two hours later I'd been to every one of Sabina's favourite places and found nothing. In fact I was starting to question my own sanity because I couldn't find any evidence to support my belief that I had a girlfriend named Sabina who'd lived and worked on Atlantis for more than three years. The only explanation I could come up with was that someone had removed Sabina for some sinister purpose and then set about destroying or removing every trace that she'd ever been there. Hard though it seemed to believe, somehow that included memory. Obviously they'd been unsuccessful in removing mine but I was the only one not affected.

I got back from my search for Sabina just in time for Rodney to announce that he believed the Replicators were behind the probe. The way things were going I wasn't surprised the probe self destructed before he could confirm it for sure, destroying a fair portion of Rodney's lab it the process. Interesting thing was Zelenka actively disagreeing with Rodney over what he'd seen before his laptop had been turned to toast. Sure, when the fate of an entire solar system was at stake Radek was quite capable of arguing with the best of them. But for the day to day stuff he normally wasn't quite that vocal with Rodney.

And that was finally when someone else started to feel the way I did.

"Something's not right," Rodney told me quietly in the corridor later. Waiting for a couple of scientists to walk past he continued. "That diagnostic programme should never have crashed. It's perfectly capable of handling any of the data coming from the probe. And then before we get a chance to get it up and running again, what happens? The probe gets destroyed."

"What are you suggesting?" I looked at him expectantly.

"I don't know," Rodney admitted. "I just ... it feels like someone or something is working very hard to get in my way. And yes, I know what that sounds like. Just do me a favour - keep an eye out, okay?"

"You too," I urged. If Rodney was convinced then maybe he'd help me look for Sabina despite the fact that he didn't remember her himself.

oOo

Later that evening things got a whole lot more complicated. I'd hit a road block on ideas for finding Sabina and was taking my frustrations out in a sparring session with Ronon.

"People have been acting weird lately," Ronon said abruptly, striking rapidly to my left side with his fighting stick.

"How so?" I blocked his strike with my own stick and countered with an attempt of my own

"I don't know how to explain it," Ronon blocked my strike easily. "They just, uh, haven't been themselves."

We continued circling each other, trading strike and counter strike for a few moments before he continued. "Teyla's noticed it too."

"This isn't just about what happened with me in the infirmary this morning?" I queried, dropping my guard just slightly.

"No," Ronon took the opportunity and got in a blow that slashed across my right eyebrow.

I shook my head dizzily, putting a hand to my head. Not surprisingly it came back covered with my blood.

"Ow," I looked at Ronon accusingly.

"I think you're gonna need stitches," Ronon said after looking at the wound closely. He dropped his stick and walked across to where he had a towel hanging. Tossing it to me he watched as I pressed it to the wound. "Sorry," he smiled in a way that suggested he actually wasn't that sorry at all.

"Lucky hit," I retorted, keeping the towel up to my eye as I headed for the door. "Just so you know – I'm blaming you when Keller asks how I did this."

"Whatever," Ronon shrugged. "See you later?"

"Yeah," I nodded, wincing at the pain in my eyebrow. Walking down the halls with a bloody towel to my head didn't get me as much attention as it really should have. People were obviously too used to me getting injured which was a somewhat pathetic commentary I decided not to dwell on.

Jennifer was sitting at her computer when I walked into the infirmary a few minutes later.

"What happened?" she asked in concern.

"Well, Ronon decided to knock some sense into me," I explained casually. Sitting on one of the beds I waited for her to decide how many stitches I needed.

"Well, let me take a look," she grabbed some medical gloves as she approached. I lowered the towel so she could get a good look.

"You're fine," she announced after looking at me closely.

"No stitches?" I asked in surprise.

"No. Not even a Band-Aid," Jennifer confirmed. She picked up a mirror and handed it to me. "There's nothing there."

I looked in the mirror, seeing the blood on my eyebrow. Strangely there was no wound where I'd expected to see one. "But I'm bleeding," I pointed out, wiping at the blood with the towel I still held.

"Well, not from any head wound," Jennifer insisted. "It was probably Ronon's blood."

"No. He hit me. I was bleeding." I looked at Jennifer worriedly. "Those tests you did this morning – did they include testing for iratus bug DNA?"

"Of course not," Jennifer said incredulously.

"Test me again," I insisted, lying back on the bed with my arms folded across my chest. "When I was infected with the retrovirus I was able to heal really quickly."

"I'm sure that's not the case now, since you haven't been exposed ...," Jennifer pointed out with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Maybe it's a relapse. I don't know," I looked at her worriedly.

"I seriously doubt ...," Jennifer began with a smile.

"Just run a blood test," I urged loudly, anxious the longer the idea of being reinfected remained a possibility.

"Okay," Jennifer agreed, the smile dropping from her face.

oOo

Jennifer caught up with me later, handing me a computer tablet. I looked down at it, not sure what she was drawing my attention to.

"Colonel. I got your test results back," she explained. "I'm pleased to tell you you're one hundred percent bug-free. No sign of the retrovirus in your system."

I looked down at the results and then up again, my mind racing with the implications. Wordlessly I handed the tablet back to her.

"What's the matter? I thought you'd be happy," Jennifer commented in surprise.

"All that says is my blood's clean," I pointed out. "Doesn't explain the magical head wound."

"Well, maybe it doesn't make sense because you're refusing to consider the only possible explanation for what happened. You made a mistake." Jennifer said casually.

"Ronon wasn't bleeding," I said firmly. "I checked after I left the infirmary."

"Well, maybe the blood was already on the towel and you mistakenly transferred it to your forehead," Jennifer said with a reasonable tone.

"Ronon saw the cut. He was the one who said I needed stitches," I persisted, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. "Unless he was wrong too."

"All right," Jennifer gave in. "Well, I'll run your blood work again and if I still can't find anything, we'll do another complete physical." Smiling she walked away without commenting further.

Clearly, whatever was going on, she was in on it. And unfortunately I probably wasn't the only one affected.

Authors Note:

Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter ... combo of sick children keeping me up all night and then being sick myself sapping all my energy. Hopefully I'll be able to post more regularly now.

Next Up? The Other Side of the Story Chapter 8