Author's note: Hello everyone :)
You know when you have those chapters that are so difficult to write, you end up wanting to scream and head butt the computer? Well, this was one of them! I don't know why, but, my brain decided to take a badly timed vacation, meaning it took forever for me to write each paragraph. I hope my struggles aren't too noticeable when you're all reading this.
Anyway, enough of moaning, I have exciting news! Well, it's exciting for me, anyway :) I have been lucky enough to find a couple of people willing to make a banner and YouTube video for this fanfic. As soon as they're done, I'll post links on my profile.
So, here is the latest update and, despite the trouble I had with it, I sincerely hope you all enjoy :)
Chapter twenty seven
My eyes followed the gentle swinging motion of the ripped top and I found myself biting my lip again, as my face threatened to burst into flames. A part of me wondered at the source of the shame; I was a consenting adult, after all. Then again, I had just been getting hot and heavy with a man in his living room, on his sofa. A man who, as far as everyone else knew, was about a decade older than me and, according to some, engaged in countless sordid affairs with, at least, two of his three cohabitants.
Charlie had asked me a question, but, I was incapable of providing an answer-as if he needed one! My dad knew damn well what we'd been doing, but that didn't stop him from watching me patiently, waiting for an explanation. My hands began nervously brushing the hair behind my ears, before hiding in the pockets of my sweatshirt.
"I...um..." I faltered, before seeing his brows slowly lower and a smirk slide across the lower portion of his face. If I didn't know any better, I'd have said he was enjoying my humiliation.
Eventually, he decided to put me out of my misery. "Why don't you sort yourself out," he suggested, handing me back the incriminating garment. "And I'll order the pizza."
I took my top from him and nodded, tempted to spend the rest of the entire evening hiding away in my bedroom. That would be cowardly, though, I realised. He obviously wanted to talk about this and, from his tone, he didn't appear too angry. I prayed his temperament would remain that calm when I returned. Ascending the stairs, I gently slapped my cheeks in a futile attempt to beat away the embarrassment. Once in the bedroom, I closed the door and leaned against it, before a fit of giggles assaulted me. God, how humiliating was this? The garment landed softly, as I flung it to the ground, angry at its betrayal. If only I had hidden it better, Charlie would have been none the wiser.
Heading for the chest of drawers, I pulled the middle one open to search for another top and removed my sweatshirt to put it on. After brushing my hair and scowling at the mirror for revealing the blush still staining my cheeks, I took a deep, bracing breath and made my way back down the stairs.
Charlie was settled in his favourite armchair when I entered the lounge, but the television wasn't switched on. That was proof he wanted to discuss what had just happened. I slowly strode over to the sofa and perched on the edge of the seat, unable to make myself comfortable just yet. Charlie didn't look at me right away, but, when his eyes swivelled to mine, they weren't blazing with rage and the first tendrils of relief made their presence known. They didn't embrace me just yet, but, waited in the background, ready to envelope me when the time came.
"Hawaiian good?" he asked and I nodded.
A period of silence stretched between us and I could have laughed, were I an outsider looking in. The pair of us was awful at this sort of thing. Renée always knew how to pry things from me, but, Charlie wasn't so practised at the task. He sat straighter and I could see he was gearing up to begin the conversation.
"How old is Carlisle Cullen?" he queried.
The question surprised me. Although I knew age would be a consideration, it certainly wasn't the first thing I'd expected him to come out with. I had to think for a moment. "Uh...about thirty two...or three, I guess," I replied, slowly.
"Hmm," he murmured, a flash of thoughtfulness crossing his features. "I thought he was older. Not that he looks it, but he just...seems it, if you know what I mean."
I did, more than he would ever be allowed to know. Silence returned. My readable face hadn't been inherited from Charlie, but, right then, I wish it had, as I wanted to know my dad's thoughts and was terrified of him becoming yet another obstacle in the way of my relationship with Carlisle. In the end, there was nothing for it, but to confront the worry head on.
"Are you mad?" I asked, my voice quiet and apprehensive.
"Mad?" His eyebrows rose again, this time from a surprise of his own. "You're a twenty three year old woman, Bells; I'd be worried if you weren't dating. Sure, no man is ever gonna be good enough for my little girl, but..."
The word 'but' sparked hope and those tendrils of relief moved closer, yet, I refused to get carried away too soon. "But..?" I prompted.
"You could do worse," he affirmed. "A lot worse."
I couldn't help releasing a bark of relieved laughter and I was sure he had no idea how truly I agreed with those words.
"I mean, he is a doctor," he continued. "And, to be honest, I was just wondering when the Hell you two were gonna get on with it."
My jaw hung open for the second time that evening. Was it that obvious? I thought it impossible to be any more embarrassed than I already was, but, the blood rushing to my cheeks proved otherwise.
"I may be old, but my eyesight hasn't packed up just yet. You two couldn't have made it any more obvious if you tattooed it on your foreheads."
My hands flew up to my temples, as my elbows rested on my knees and I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. I began trying to work out how long he had been suspecting us. I thought back to all the times he would have seen us together, but, they weren't very common. I remembered the last time Carlisle had been here. It was in the kitchen, when he'd first warned me about Edward and a suspicion had plagued me about the appraising look Charlie gave him when he'd got home that day. Was that when he first noticed?
"So," my dad said, beginning to look awkward. "How long have you two...y'know..?"
I knew what he was asking, but, decided it was his turn to squirm.
"How long have we what?" I said, requesting an elaboration.
Charlie gave me a look that told me not to even try playing games, so I behaved.
"Well...actually...it kinda started tonight."
His brows rose again and eyes widened a little, making me silently curse myself. I'd just made it sound as though I was willing to jump straight into bed with a guy after a first date, but, how could I possibly put the depth of feeling I held for Carlisle into words? How could I explain everything that had happened over the past week? Christ, had it really only been that long? This wasn't the moment to ponder the enigmatic ways of time, so, shifting position, I tried to come up with some sort of explanation.
"Well, obviously, it's been sort of building up for a little while, but, nothing actually...happened until tonight."
"It's alright, Bells," he reassured. "I was young once, too."
His chuckle seemed to break any tension I feared would build between us and I let my facial muscles loosen. Charlie scooted forward a little in his seat, motioning for me to move nearer. I slid across the sofa and he placed a hand over mine.
"I know it seems like I was angry," he began. "But I'm not. I was just surprised, that's all."
I wrapped my fingers around his, letting my lips quirk into the beginnings of a grin.
"And, I assume you're happy?"
I nodded, the grin widening as I thought about it. Carlisle had declared and demonstrated his love for me, so how could I not be?
"Just promise me you'll be sensible," he requested. "And, as much as I like Carlisle, make sure he knows I won't hesitate to use my gun on him if he fucks you around."
I burst into laughter, partly due to his cursing in front of me and the fact that he didn't realise how ineffective his threat was. However, a stab of guilt also pricked my chest, as I looked into my father's eyes. He didn't want me getting hurt-a sentiment I shared-yet, he had no idea of the peril I had chosen to brave by being with Carlisle and it wasn't until then that I realised how truly selfish I was actually being. So far, I'd only thought about my life, but, what about Charlie's and Renée's? If the Volturi killed me, they'd lose their only child. And, what if the Volturi were as malicious and conniving as Edward? What if they tried to use my parents to get at me? What if..?
The relief, mere millimetres away from enveloping me, beat a hasty retreat and I had to silence the troubling thoughts, before they overwhelmed me. Being in love with Carlisle may have been the cause of the distress, but, if anything, the worries only made my need to see him all the greater. I needed to talk to him and discuss what was going to happen. Was his coven already formulating a plan to deal with the Volturi? If so, what would that plan entail and would my parents be considered at all? Hawaiian was my favourite type of pizza, but, it suddenly lost all appeal to me, as I sat there, trying to barricade all manner of alarming notions out of my mind.
"What's up, Bella?" Charlie asked and my inner turmoil must have been particularly noticeable for him to comment on it.
What could I say? I had to say something, even if it was an outright lie, just to alleviate any worries he might have. I didn't want him getting the wrong idea and thinking it was Carlisle bothering me.
"I..." I began, trying to think of something, but, my mind kept going blank as the truth tried desperately to escape my lips. "I...I'm scared."
Well, the truth had seemed to get its way. Maybe not the entire truth, perhaps, but, a part of it, nonetheless.
"About what?"
"This," I replied and I could tell he knew I meant my new relationship-although, obviously, he didn't know the reasons for my fear. "It's...it's a big thing, Dad."
Charlie took a deep breath and his fingers squeezed around mine. "I know, I know." His gaze seemed to shift, although his eyes never moved away from my face. It seemed to withdraw, somehow, as though no longer quite in the room with me. "These things usually are. There are all sorts of doubts running through your mind at the start. But, the way I look at it, nobody can predict the future. There's no way of knowing what might happen or where it might lead. You've just gotta enjoy it while you can...because you never know when it might end."
His voice had dropped a decibel and, it was as if he wasn't addressing me anymore. I studied his expression and a part of me wondered if he was speaking from past experience. Was that how he felt about his relationship with my mom? Since their marriage ended, I was unaware of any other romantic attachments forged by my dad and I began to wonder if, in the last eighteen years, he'd actually been with anyone besides Renée. The thought of him being alone for almost two decades brought a fresh wave of sadness to my heart and, more than ever, I reviled the selfishness that had consumed me when pledging myself to Carlisle. What made it all the worse was that, should I choose, I only had to say the word and he would leave me be without question. However much it hurt him, he'd keep away to ensure my safety and happiness, if it was truly what I wanted. I had a way out, the means to follow a path that would ensure no harm came to any friends or family, and would mean Charlie never had to feel isolated or lonely again. Altruism was right there, within my grasp.
And I couldn't bring myself to take it.
However much I despaired at the possibility of anyone I loved coming to harm, I was physically and mentally unable to bear the thought of giving up Carlisle Cullen. I had never given much credence to the prospect of soulmates, dismissing it as a fantastical whimsy of hopeless romantics, but, now that I was experiencing it first hand, I knew in the very deepest parts of my soul that the phenomenon existed. I wanted to see him, wanted to touch and be near him. I wanted his voice to filter through the air between us, running over me, like the water of a stream gently caressing the smooth pebbles beneath its surface. I wanted him so badly, I could feel my senses pulsating with the need. Out of nowhere, a quote from my favourite book came to mind:
"He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be, and if all else remained, and we were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger...He's always, always in my mind; not as a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."
A knock at the door interrupted us and Charlie got up from the chair, reaching into the back pocket of his trousers to retrieve his wallet. I let him go without a word, still wrapped up in my own thoughts, fears and desires. Within minutes, my dad returned, a large pizza box between his hands. I got up and walked to the kitchen, with the intention of obtaining drinks for us both. When I entered the lounge once again, he was reclining in his chair and pointing the remote at the television screen. This meant our meaningful conversation had come to a close and, to be honest, I was glad. If I hadn't had enough to think about before, I certainly did now.
Although still not hungry, I retrieved a slice of pizza to maintain appearances and stretched out on the sofa. I couldn't really feel the cheese sliding down my throat or taste the chunks of ham and pineapple as they brushed past my tongue. Thinking about it, it was probably the first thing I'd eaten since breakfast, yet, I really couldn't bring myself to devour it. I felt wretched again. Even after my observations about my father, worried about his loneliness, I was sitting beside him, wishing I could leave to be with somebody else. I tried to justify it, telling myself it was nothing personal against Charlie and there was an enormous amount of things I needed to discuss with Carlisle, but, it didn't make me feel any better. Selfishness had reared its ugly head yet again.
A high-pitched melodic sound filtered through the doorway of the lounge and my head turned to listen, in an attempt to identify it. I quickly realised it was the ringtone of my cell phone and jumped up off the sofa to race up the stairs and answer it. My sweatshirt was still in my bedroom and I'd forgotten my phone was in one of the pockets. Pulling it out, I saw the number displayed on the screen and my heart kicked against my chest.
"Hi," I breathed, after pushing the answer button.
"Bella." Carlisle's voice crackled down the line and the ache of separation drastically increased. "I worried for a moment, after you did not pick up the second time."
"Sorry," I said. "I left my phone upstairs."
"That's alright. Just as long as you are safe. As you can imagine, my worrywart tendencies have gone into overdrive."
I squeezed my eyes shut and smiled, biting my lip. How did he have that power over me? I had been a conflicted mess barely seconds ago and, yet, one utterance of an expression made extinct decades before my birth had my insides squirming in a way not entirely unpleasant. It was no longer a question of wanting to see him-I had to! I desperately hoped the desire was as strong for him.
"Would it be possible to see you again tonight?" he asked and I grabbed a fistful of hair in triumph.
"Of course. When?"
"Well," he began and I noted brief hesitation in his tone. "I'm parked in the street behind your house, right now. Have been since your father got home, actually."
"Really? You didn't leave?"
"No. I did not wish to be too far away from you. I hope you do not mind."
Mind? If only he could see my face, he'd know he had absolutely nothing to worry about.
"Give me five minutes," I requested, before heading out of the room.
"If I could, I'd give you the world," he answered, making my stomach flip.
Hanging up, I almost skipped down the steps and re-entered the lounge. My dad looked up and had no need to ask who'd called.
"Go," was all he said, a smirk curling his lips.
Before running out the front door, I approached Charlie and gave him the hardest, tightest hug I could. It caught him off guard and the only response he could manage was an awkward couple of gentle pats on the back. I straightened up a little to kiss his cheek, before standing.
"Thanks, Dad," I said, before turning to exit, as he waved me away.
I barely registered what he called after me, as the front door clicked closed, but, I think the words 'gun', 'balls' and 'remove' were involved.
It wasn't until the chilly night air hit me that I realised I had neglected to grab a coat on the way out. I refused to waste time going back in to get one, so settled for pulling the long sleeves of my t-shirt down over my fists, before tucking them beneath my armpits. True to my word, within five minutes, the shiny black Mercedes came into view. The driver's door opened and the glorious object of physical perfection exited the vehicle. My steps had been hasty, almost at a jogging pace on the way here, but, when my eyes fell upon him, they slowed to a steady walk and I felt my pulse quicken with excitement. Now that I was almost with him again, the world seemed to right itself. All my previous troubles began to melt away, as he took several steps forward to meet me. Less than a foot of space remained between us and my hands lingered beneath my armpits, as the shyness threatened to creep up on me again. I could already feel my cheeks warming up.
Carlisle studied me for a moment, before closing the gap in one slow, measured stride and his scent engulfed me, disorientating every one of my senses. I gazed into his unfathomable irises, entranced by their deep, golden hue, as icy fingers lightly brushed along my jaw. Rather than add to the discomfort of the cold, they felt soothing against the heat of my face and I leaned into his touch.
"Where is your coat?" he queried, his voice a delicate murmur.
"Forgot it," I answered, absently, not wanting the task of speaking to distract me from enjoying his caress.
He sighed. "Your health insurance premium must be off the charts," he teased.
"Good job I'm with you, then, Doctor."
A small smile spread across his face and his hand shifted to the back of my neck, tangling in the dark hair. I angled my chin upwards, as his lowered and our lips met. It was soft and quick, but no less loaded with passion than any other kiss. My arms chose then to move, sliding around his waist, as he pulled me even closer. Our mouths parted and he placed a trail of kisses up my nose, until they reached my forehead. We stood there for a long while, neither saying a word, as we simply enjoyed being with one another. It seemed unfair to me that anyone would seek to forbid something as wonderful and, frankly, harmless as this.
Eventually, Carlisle pulled back a little and both hands cupped my face, his thumbs running back and forth. I'd never get bored of that affectionate gesture.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
I wanted to say yes, as, in many ways, I was. I also didn't want to ruin the calm atmosphere by voicing any concerns, but, as soothing as his presence was, I couldn't keep my worries to myself forever. Like it or not, there were serious, pressing matters to discuss, which no amount of time would be able to render unimportant.
I took a deep breath. "Yes," I began. "And no."
"Tell me," he encouraged.
"Well, I'll start with the good, I think." A pause, to ready myself. "My dad knows...about us."
The thumbs stilled. "He does?"
"Yeah." I bit my lip to keep the grin at bay. "Want to know how he found out?"
His eyes turned wary. "Should I be worried?"
"He found the top you ripped open."
Carlisle went silent for a moment or two, as his entire body became as rigid as a marble statue. Eventually his reply came in a low mumble. "Oh."
He suddenly looked like a guilty child, caught with their hand in the cookie jar. That expression, coupled with the way tendrils of his hair, still a little ruffled from our earlier activities, dangled in front of his eyes, made him look absolutely adorable and I felt warmth pool inside.
"It's okay," I reassured. "He doesn't have a problem with us being together."
His chest collapsed, as a breath of relief left his lungs and I squeezed his ribs encouragingly.
"I told you he likes you."
"Well, that would be one obstacle removed," he commented. "But, I assume the other obstacles are part of the bad?"
I nodded, before resting my head against his chest and his hand began rubbing my shoulders.
"I promise you we will find a solution," he whispered against the top of my head.
"I hope so," I said, wishing with all my might he would be able to keep that promise. "But, it's not just us I'm worried about."
My voice had begun to quiver and he shifted our positions, so he could see my face.
"You worry about your father," he stated and I could have cried with gratitude. He had considered Charlie, after all.
"Not just him, but, my mom too. I've never dealt with the Volturi before, so I don't know how they work and I'm just terrified they might use my parents against me."
"Well," Carlisle said, his voice taking on a more business-like quality. "Whilst I have been waiting here, I have spoken to the others and they all share similar concerns. As such, we have decided to go to the Quileute tribe to ask for assistance."
My brows furrowed in surprise. "Really? But, I thought you guys hated one another."
"What their feelings towards us may be, I cannot say, however, I bear no animosity towards them whatsoever. In an event such as this, I truly believe it would be in both the tribe's interest and ours if we worked together."
I thought about Jacob's attitude towards the Cullens. He'd never referred to them with anything less than absolute disdain. Did the others feel as strongly, or was my former best friend just fuelled by an inbuilt prejudice? Thinking of Jacob added yet another issue to the current situation. I hadn't seen or heard from him since our last fight in his garage and the passing of time had done little to heal the pain of our parting.
"Will they even talk to you?" I asked, as the notion of a get together between the two groups played out in my mind. I couldn't see it working all that well, but, if Carlisle believed it to be best, I wouldn't argue.
"I know a couple that will be willing to, at least, listen. Whether they will offer aid, however, is another matter. Please do not interpret this the wrong way, but, I'm hoping your family's long friendship with some of the tribe members may motivate them to help."
"When are you going to see them?"
"Firstly, I must set up a rendezvous on neutral ground, as neither of us is allowed on the other's territory. I'll attempt to contact them tomorrow morning to arrange it."
I nodded, finding his plan agreeable and it managed to alleviate a little of the tension weighing upon my shoulders, although, the fear that they would simply turn Carlisle's coven away without a second thought would undoubtedly plague my mind. Then, his words brought an image into my mind so ridiculous, I couldn't restrain the soft snort of laughter that escaped me. Clearly, he misinterpreted my response, because he was immediately studying my face, desperate to alleviate my troubles.
"Sorry," I muttered, before attempting to explain. "It's just the use of the word territory. I get an image of you all as animals running around, urinating on everything."
"Interesting," he mused.
"Oh God," I whined, slapping a hand against my forehead, before resting it against his shoulder. "That was one of those comments I should have kept firmly in here!" I prodded the side of my head.
Carlisle's chest vibrated with laughter. "You have no idea how close to the mark you are in some cases."
I didn't understand the remark and looked back up at him, the mystification plastered blatantly all over my face. His smile widened, but he didn't elaborate, preferring to simply plant yet another kiss on my temple. It was uncanny how easily any dilemma, no matter how momentous, could be pushed right to the back of my mind by the power of such simple a gesture. I closed my eyes and wallowed in the pleasure he elicited from me.
"Are you working tomorrow?" Carlisle asked and I informed him that I had the next day off. This seemed to please him and, if I wasn't mistaken, a glint of enthusiasm lit his eyes. "What would you say to a walk?" Eyeing my lack of appropriate attire, he rephrased the request. "Or a drive?"
It wasn't until that point that I realised just how low the night's temperature had become-too preoccupied with the vampire in whose arms I currently stood, I guess-and I could feel the goose bumps lining my flesh. Despite this, I didn't want to spend the entire evening sat in a car, where his focus would have to be divided between me and the road. I wanted all his attention, every last bit. To this end, I tried to ignore the cold and offered a smile.
"I like the idea of a walk," I replied.
He considered my response for a moment, his eyes leaving me to look at something past my head, before they met mine once more. "You will need a jacket, Bella." He moved away from me, towards his car and opened the door, leaning in to retrieve something, before returning. He held a black jacket in his hands and passed it to me. "Will mine do?"
I accepted the garment, sliding my arms into the too-big sleeves and not even bothering to hide the fact I sniffed the collar. "It smells of you," I commented in approval. "But, won't-" I stopped myself, before the dumbest question I had ever asked could be aired. Of course he wouldn't need it, dumbass, I reprimanded myself, it's hard for the cold to bother you when your natural temperature is close to freezing!
Carlisle-of course-could guess what my unfinished query was going to be, but, he made no comment, preferring to simply let a beautiful smile play across his lips, as he wrapped the jacket around my form. Once he deemed me suitably swathed in fabric, he took my hand and we began walking.
"Where shall we go?" he asked.
I thought for a moment, before answering. "Why not let our feet decide?" I suggested, interlacing my fingers with his.
"Why not, indeed."
000
A stronger wind picked up and the clouds became more sporadic, as the hours passed from evening into night. Instead of a vast blanket of grey, there were patches of indigo peeking through the clouds, decorated with glistening spots of silver, as the stars watched us from above. Carlisle and I were no longer walking hand in hand, but, my left arm was wrapped around his lower back, as his draped across my shoulders. Our fingers were still entwined, however, as they extended from my risen right hand to link with his.
We were gazing at the stars, as Carlisle pointed out each constellation, although I forgot the names as quickly as he gave them. To be honest, I was too busy enjoying the touch, sound and smell of him to really notice much of anything else. As planned, we'd wandered around the streets of Forks, paying no attention to the route our footsteps took and, before long, had found ourselves traversing the dark woods, encircling the outskirts of the town. With anyone else, I would have been too scared to venture this way at night, but, with Carlisle beside me, I felt safe, protected and, above all else, content.
Since declaring our feelings for one another that day, it was beyond bliss to be able to simply enjoy his company, knowing that, if I felt like it, I could hold his hand, snuggle into his side or just offer him a quick kiss, without having to suppress or hide them. And, for the past two and a half hours, I had done just that. My feet should have been screaming by that point, but, they weren't, as we'd travelled slowly, taking regular breaks to enjoy our surroundings. We had passed the residential areas, lined with houses of families all settling in for the night. We'd gone by the high street, which I didn't think I had ever actually visited at such a late hour and it was a little eerie, seeing the convenience stores I often frequented closed and dark. Again, being escorted by Carlisle meant I could relax and enjoy our solitude, with the roads silent and nothing but the hoots of owls to accompany us.
The hospital was the only building to carry its daytime hustle and bustle into the night. We decided not to go too close, as, although Carlisle insisted he couldn't care less what his colleagues might say about seeing us together, I didn't want his work being hindered by immature gossip. That was when we had decided to trek through more verdant aspects of Forks, bringing us to the spot of our current stargazing.
Our feet refused to stop moving and the density of the trees soon began to wane, before a sense of familiarity came over me.
"Where are we?" I asked, my voice soft and low, in-keeping with the peaceful atmosphere.
"I thought you might have guessed by now," came Carlisle's cryptic response. "But, you must have taken a different route the previous couple of times you walked here."
Before I could decipher his meaning, the spaces between the trees became wide enough for me to see parts of an unmistakable house...or mansion, I should say. An incredulous smirk crossed my lips and I slowly turned my gaze to look at him.
"A little convenient, don't you think, Doctor Cullen?"
He cocked an eyebrow. "Are you accusing me of deception, Miss Swan?"
I gasped in mock outrage, before slipping into the best impersonation of an Englishwoman I could manage. "Such a notion, Sir!" It needed work, I knew, but got the desired response of a smile from him. "However," I continued in a normal voice. "I was under the impression that we were letting our feet decide."
"Perhaps our feet are just very in sync with my wishes," he shrugged. Never had I seen the action performed so gracefully before. I began to wonder why he had wanted us to return to his house, but, didn't bother asking, as, to be honest, I really didn't mind. In that moment, I didn't care where we went, as long as we were together. "Besides," he said. "Human vision limits your view of the stars from here, so, I have something inside that will even out the playing field."
He separated our fingers and removed his arm from around my shoulders, before clasping my hand once more and leading me towards the house at a much quicker pace. I followed, excited at the prospect of his proposal. My deductions had brought me to the conclusion that we were to continue our stargazing through a telescope and, knowing the Cullens, whatever piece of equipment they used for such an activity would have been absolutely top of the range. It was something I had never done before and, although astronomy was never my favourite topic, I was never one to pass up a new experience.
The large windows were dark, meaning none of the house lights were on and I wondered if anyone else was home. When we entered the abode, we were greeted by absolute silence. Although vampires were very light on their feet, whenever I visited, there were always some signs of life present, such as music playing softly in the background, or voices coming from the television. I asked where Alice, Jasper and Esme were and he told me they were scanning the area, to ensure Edward had actually left the town. The guilt and selfishness resurfaced, as I could imagine that was a task Carlisle would want to participate in, as eagerly as the others, yet, here he was, stuck with me. I knew what the right thing to do would be, but, could I actually bring myself to do it? I thought I had best give it a try, at least.
"You know..." I bit my lip. "You don't have to stay here. I mean, if you really need to find Edward..." I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence and hoping he would get the general gist of what I was trying to say.
He gave me a look, before strolling towards me and curling his fingers around the collar of his jacket I still wore. "There is absolutely nowhere else I would rather be, than with you." Releasing the collar, his hands began travelling down the front to unclasp the buttons one by one. "Besides," a mischievous glint sparkled in his eye. "Somebody has to keep an eye on you and your trouble-seeking tendencies."
I scowled good-naturedly, letting him undo the final button, before relieving me of the oversized garment. He hung it by the door, before offering a drink. I opted for water, as it was quick and easy to prepare and meant less time wasting. I wanted to see his telescope. I blushed at the double entendre I had just made and started obsessively tucking my hair behind my ears, using my hands to cover my reddening cheeks. When he returned, glass of water in hand, I accepted the drink gratefully, hoping the cool liquid would aid the lowering of my body temperature.
Taking my hand again, he led me up the stairs and I wondered where the stargazing instrument (I wouldn't be able to use the word 'telescope' ever again) was. As we passed the first two floors of the house, I felt a thrum of excitement about reaching the third. Besides Carlisle's study and bedroom, I wasn't sure what else was located up there and my pulse raced immediately upon the discovery that his sleeping quarters were our intended destination. I suddenly felt silly and prudish. So what if we were entering his bedroom? I'd spent entire afternoons in Jacob's, without a hint of anything untoward happening whatsoever. Of course, I hadn't already almost had sex with Jacob on my father's couch, either, so, I figured that particular comparison was pretty mute.
The moment the door opened, all indecent thoughts vacated, as I gawped in wonder at the magnificent room. Although a generally modest man, Carlisle had clearly allowed the luxury of the best bedroom for himself. It wasn't so much the decor that amazed me-Alice and Jasper's room possessed a design better than any featured in the best magazine shoots-but the size and the view. My crummy little bedroom could have easily fit in his three times over and, through the long rectangular pane of glass lining the back wall, I could see for miles. An immaculately tidy king sized bed was located in the centre, with bedside tables positioned either side of the headboard. A massive oak wardrobe stood against the opposing wall and there was a tall bookshelf beside me, crammed with yet more books that were either particular favourites, or overflow from his library. Modest, yet elegant, it had Carlisle written all over it.
I remained motionless in the doorway and, noticing I hadn't followed, he turned and let out a chuckle, before waving a hand in front of my face. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"Your reaction is indicative of either utter disgust or awed approval. May I ask which?"
"Approval, definitely." My eyes lingered on the pristine bed, where not a single wrinkled had made a mark. "I pity you, though."
He frowned a little in response. "Why?"
"Well, you have that amazing bed, yet, you can't sleep." My second unintentional sexual innuendo made in less than ten minutes. Thankfully, Carlisle was too gentlemanly to comment.
He smiled, before letting out a dramatic sigh. "Yet another curse of the vampiric existence," he declared.
He held out his hand and I took it, before he led me towards the centre of the window, where the telescope (behave!) was situated. On the way here, a myriad of images had been conjured up by my imagination about what it might look like, however, the real thing didn't match any of them. To be honest, it was pretty plain and I hoped the instrument's views wouldn't match its aesthetics. Taking my empty glass and placing it on the corner of one of the bookshelves, he manoeuvred me to stand in front of the telescope, before adjusting it into the perfect viewing position. Looking through the eyepiece, he spent a couple of minutes searching, before standing back and letting me have a turn.
Ducking my head a little, I looked through the telescope and couldn't help grinning. What the equipment lacked in looks, it more than made up for in views and I was ready to commit myself to a life of astronomy if it meant watching things like that every day. The tiny white specks that littered the sky were big, dazzling and beautiful through the powerful lens, like enormous diamonds encrusting the universe. The reference to diamonds reminded me of the day I saw Carlisle in sunlight and, the moment the likeness was made, I felt the stars suddenly lose a little of their majesty. It may have seemed odd to some, but, for me, they couldn't quite compare to him.
That didn't stop me watching them, though, especially when Carlisle pointed out the constellation that shared a name with my birth sign. As I continued stargazing, I sensed him move, before his hands rested either side of my waist and I began to rapidly lose interest in the outside world. I wasn't sure if he noticed my dwindling attention, but, he carried on talking and I enjoyed the feel of his cool breath brushing against my ear, as he spoke softly. I was trying to focus on the words, really I was, but, the circles his thumbs absently made against my hips were ever so diverting. Rather than force my brain to concentrate, I let myself get lost in his assault on my senses and couldn't keep memories of our last kiss from sweeping through my thoughts. It wasn't until the circling motion of his thumbs stopped, that I realised Carlisle had been addressing me directly.
"Bella?" he whispered, the breath grazing my earlobe and sending a wonderful shiver down my spine.
"Hmm?" I replied, my voice lazy with contentment and the first hints of desire.
I moved my face away from the eyepiece and swivelled it to look over my shoulder, allowing our eyes to lock. Dark copper decorated the edge of his irises and flecks of ochre blended into the gold. His lips were a hair's breadth away, our noses lightly touching and I could smell the delicately spiced sweetness that had become my favourite fragrance, as it brushed past my cheek. Neither of us doubted what was about to happen and my heartbeat sped up, as the distance between our mouths slowly closed. His hands left my waist, to begin sliding across my stomach, the hem of my top lifting to allow skin on skin contact.
The convergence of our lips was soft and sweet, at first, full of the love and tenderness I had so desperately craved to receive for longer than I'd even realised. Then, his lips parted to fully capture mine and the kiss deepened. My right hand clutched at one of the arms wrapped around my torso, as the left reached up to tangle in the soft hair covering the nape of his neck. I adored the feel of his mouth on mine, but, pretty soon touch was no longer enough for me, I needed to taste. This time, my tongue was the one requesting entry and he granted access eagerly, allowing our tongues to begin a sensual dance. The icy patterns his fingertips made against my stomach sent my nerves into overdrive and a quiet moan reverberated in my throat, as they gradually inched down my abdomen. There was barely any pressure, but, his ministrations held the power of a lightning bolt, with the way my body responded. He was teasingly slow, as his palm slid carefully down the curve of my hip, both frustrating and arousing me beyond measure, but, I made no move to rush him. I wanted to feel and savour each and every thing he did, revel in the way he made my spirit soar and, hopefully, offer just as much pleasure in return.
The cold fingers travelled further down, brushing along the subtle hollow between the small swell of my stomach and the bone of my hip. A quiet gasp escaped my lips, when he reached a particularly sensitive spot and, hearing the reaction, his thumb started to run back and forth across the same area. I tightened the fist in his hair to show my appreciation and the breaths between each kiss became heavier, as the passion fuelling our embrace rose. My body delighted in his treatment and I could feel parts of me tingling with pleasure, all too aware of how close his fingers were to my waistband.
There was nothing to stop or interrupt us, this time. We were alone in his bedroom, secluded from the rest of the world and I was happy to give everything to him. I was his to do with as he pleased. His hand finally left that spot, to ghost over the top button of my jeans, but, then he stopped and our lips parted, our heavy breaths brushing over one another's faces. My eyes flew open, wondering what was wrong.
"Bella," Carlisle whispered, and the way my name left those lips-husky and quivering with desire-sent a surge of warmth through my core. Whilst his right hand remained on the jeans button, the left moved further upwards, lifting the top until it was just below my breasts. I was going to implode if he dared stop now. My fingers released his hair, sliding to cup his jaw, as my nose nestled into the crook of his neck and I placed feather light kisses against the icy skin. It seemed to distract him and he grabbed the fabric of my shirt tightly, trying so hard to control his breathing. "I want you," he said, kissing me several times, before continuing. "God knows I do..." more kisses, interspersed with the mutual caresses of our tongues. "...but, I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't," I replied, my voice even more unsteady than his, as I used my right hand to encourage him to undo my trousers. It was wanton and I didn't care. I wanted Carlisle Cullen and I wanted him now.
The button popped open and I kissed him harder than I ever had before, which he responded to with equal vehemence, before a familiar tearing sound echoed throughout the room. Flashbacks of our kiss on my sofa only served to increase my excitement, but he stilled and I was forced to break the kiss, to be met by a glorious face, drowning in hesitation. He seemed truly terrified and I looked down to see my top torn all the way up the right seam. I kept forgetting about the immense strength his gentle demeanour belied.
"If I lose control, if I damage you-"
"Shhh," I cooed, turning my body round, so our fronts were facing. I placed a hand on either side of his face and peppered his lips with gentle kisses. "It's okay." I reassured. "I trust you."
The expression on his fair features told me he wasn't convinced that trust was well placed, but, it didn't stop him welcoming every connection our lips made.
"We'll take it slow," I suggested, my tongue grazing over his once more, as my hands slid down to the buttons of his shirt to carefully begin undoing the first one. "And, I promise to tell you if it gets too much."
He was afraid of losing control, of his animalistic nature taking over amidst the heat of passion and the safest solution would have been to stop our sinful actions right then, but, the thrumming inside my body reprimanded me for entertaining such a notion. Although I wanted to rip all his clothes off as quickly as possible and jump his bones, I decided to compromise, hoping that, by relaxing the pace, the animal within him would be more sedated.
Exercising the greatest patience, each button was gradually released from its cotton confines to eventually reveal a strip of glorious white. We kissed, our mouths exploring each other languorously, as I pushed the garment off his shoulders, before tugging the sleeves to let it fall to the floor. It was the first time his bare torso had been fully revealed and I had to allow my eyes a very long moment of admiration. He really was the most incredibly magnificent creature I had ever seen. It was as though Michelangelo's David had come to life; yet, the soul emanating from those butterscotch orbs rendered the renaissance sculpture inadequate. My hands roamed every inch of the smooth, marble surface, wondering how something so indestructible could still feel so supple.
Reluctantly breaking contact for a moment, I pulled my own top over my head and dropped it down beside his. It was his turn to assess me and doubt trickled into my mind, as I despaired at the fact I could never compare to his physical perfection. His gaze encompassed my entire body languidly and, having never endured such reverent scrutiny before, the self-consciousness began to surface, as my arms moved of their own accord to cover me up. His hands instantly clasped my wrists and moved the arms back to my sides, before slowly trailing his fingers upwards, past the elbows, along the biceps and over the shoulders, leaving a blaze of fire in their wake, as he finished at the clasp of my bra. It clicked open and those cool, powerful hands retraced their paths, pushing the thin straps down as they went.
Gold met brown, as a soft thud announced the garment's connection with the floor and one arm circled my waist, pulling our bodies together, as the other palm pressed against my thigh. It moved upwards, caressing my skin, as it passed the stomach and grazed one of my exposed nipples. Another gasp of pleasure left me and one look into his face told me that, regardless of his fears, he wanted this as much as me. With a thumb rubbing my cheek, he pressed our foreheads together and gazed at me deeper and more intensely than I had ever imagined possible.
"I love you, Isabella Swan."
All control disappeared the moment he engulfed me with a mind-blowing, passionate kiss. Those five words had ignited a lustful frenzy within me and I threw caution to the wind, as thought ceased, giving in to simply let myself feel. I didn't give a damn how much it hurt, just so long as it continued to feel this good. He lifted me up with no effort whatsoever and my legs wrapped around his waist. I didn't even realise we had moved until I landed on something soft and springy and the rhythm of our kiss remained unbroken, as Carlisle shifted me up towards the headrest.
The remainder of our clothing was shed, as we lost ourselves to one another. I began to experience sensations I'd forgotten even existed, as he took my body to heights beyond anything I'd ever known. His taste, his touch, his smell; I was surrounded by him and surrendered willingly, enjoying the contrast between his iciness and my feverish heat. The way he coaxed me into a state of trembling anticipation, massaging that sweet spot inside with expert fingers, left me struggling for air and the moment I reached that first climax, it was like fireworks exploding in my brain. It was the first of many and a promise of things to come, but, the feeling of him entering me was beyond description. He brought me back to that delicious moment of orgasm again and again, each time better than the one before.
Hearing and feeling him reach his own peak was the ultimate bliss, as, in that moment, he ceased to be the mysterious creature, banished to the shadows of society by those who couldn't understand him, and became the young, vulnerable man, dealt the cruellest of fates in an act of desperation. With each kiss and gesture of affection, I wanted to eradicate every fear and moment of sadness he had ever possessed. I wanted to take it all away and reciprocate the love and adoration he had bestowed upon me. Whenever his grip was in danger of hurting me, I linked my fingers with his and started whispering into his ear, soothing, reassuring, encouraging. I didn't want something this amazing to be tarnished by feelings of guilt in the morning. He replied with kisses and caresses, saying my name over and over like a prayer and I indulged in the excess of our lovemaking, wishing there were some way to make it never ending, wishing, beyond all hope and reason, that we could remain this way for eternity. There was nothing greater than this, nothing purer or a better demonstration of our commitment to one another and I was already anticipating our next time.
Time itself was meaningless, as we continued, our hips grinding and enticing wave after wave of pleasure and, when our final climaxes came simultaneously, I cried out incoherent sounds of ecstasy. I was left panting, as my mind reeled from the overwhelming delight I had just received from the man lying atop me. His forehead was resting against my shoulder and, from the corner of my eye, I saw his fist slowly uncurl, to reveal shards of fabric balled up within. I wasn't really in a position to comment, as my heart thudded furiously against my chest and I didn't know how long it would take for me to be able to breathe properly again. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the way my body trembled with aftershocks of sated lust, absently registering the tint of pale blue that decorated the gradually lightening sky, before everything became dark.
A cold, gentle pressure met the skin just below my earlobe and I leaned into the touch. Sweet breath bathed my cheek, as Carlisle's wondrous voice entered my ear.
"I love you."
I returned the sentiment. At least, I think I did. It was hard to remember, as my mind became foggy and consciousness handed me over to contented oblivion.
A/N: Ta daaaaaa! The first lemon of the story! I am bricking it, wondering what you'll all think of it. This is only the second sex scene I've ever written and I wanted to get a nice balance between romance and sex. Let me know if it worked. I'm sorry this has taken longer than my other updates, but, I wanted to get it just right. Fingers crossed I succeeded.
As always, I love your reviews and hope you enjoyed. I'll see you all ASAP for chapter 28. Until then, adios! :)