Chapter 34: Just not our Elizabeth

John and I were on our way to lunch a few weeks after his mission to Earth when John remembered he'd promised to stop in at the Control Room. Rodney wanted to do something to the Gate and had been on John's case for a couple of days trying to get him to agree to take the Gate offline for the duration of his tinkering. I stood beside John, smiling as Rodney pleaded his case.

"It's a streamlining programme designed to boost its operating efficiency," Rodney insisted. "Look, the Gate'll be offline for, what, one hour, two hours tops."

Before John could respond the Gate started a dial in sequence. The event horizon kawhooshed before settling into a stable connection.

"We expecting someone?" John asked Chuck curiously.

"No, sir, but its Major Jordan reporting in from M34-227," Chuck replied.

"You got video?" John queried.

"Yes, sir," Chuck lowered the shield over the Gate and activated the wall screen so we could all see what was happening at the other end.

"What's the situation, Major?" John asked curiously.

"Well, sir, there's someone here who would like to have a word with you," Major Jordan replied. He stepped out of the way, making room for someone else to take his place.

"Elizabeth!" all three of our voices sounded in an incredulous chorus as a familiar face filled the view screen.

"Hello, John. Rodney." Elizabeth replied with a smile. "Hello Sabina."

"What happened to you?" Rodney demanded. "How did you get away?"

"I'm not Elizabeth," she revealed. "Well, not the Elizabeth you knew. I have all of her memories and all of her thoughts – everything that makes her me. But I'm a duplicate. I was created by a faction of the Replicators as a means to attaining ascension. They duplicated everything ... the city and everyone in it to learn more about humanity."

"But you ... look and sound just like her," Rodney accused, his face slack with shock over her revelation.

For myself I wasn't sure what to feel ... my initial happiness at seeing Elizabeth apparently well frozen by her admission that she wasn't ours. It almost seemed like we all held our breath as we waited to hear what she'd say next.

"I'm sorry, Rodney, but it's true," Elizabeth said sadly. "This group managed to isolate themselves from the others in order to pursue their study in secrecy, but they were eventually discovered and destroyed."

"I ... don't know what to say," John admitted. "This is all very, uh ..."

"Strange?" Elizabeth suggested. "Yeah, I know. But we need to meet. We have some information that you can use against the Replicators."

"We?" John picked up on that one immediately.

"Myself and some others who managed to escape before the Replicators destroyed that city," Elizabeth explained. "We have something you'll find very useful but you need to come here for us to pass it on to you."

"We can do that," John looked to Rodney and was greeted with an emphatic nod.

"That's great," Elizabeth said with a relieved smile. Her eyes shifted to me before she looked again at John. "We want Sabina to join you."

"Sabina's not part of my team," John said dismissively.

"I don't mind –," I broke off when John looked at me sternly. He was suspicious of why they needed me along.

"I can't tell you more right now John," Elizabeth replied. "Just that I have someone here who wants to see her. I'm sorry but it's a condition I have to insist on before I'll hand over what we have."

"And how do I know that what you have is worth the risk?" John asked quietly.

"I was hoping you would trust that there's enough of the original Elizabeth Weir in me to enable you to trust me," Elizabeth said with a sad smile. "Was I wrong?"

John didn't respond immediately. He looked closely at Elizabeth and then turned to glance at me.

"We'll be there in an hour," he motioned for Chuck to cut the connection.

"Oh my God," Rodney reacted as soon as the wormhole had disengaged. "I thought that was Elizabeth."

"We all did Rodney," I kept my eyes on John, waiting for his reaction. "In a way it is Elizabeth ... just not our Elizabeth. Maybe she knows what happened to the original."

"We can hope," John's expression made it clear he'd already thought of that ... the first opportunity to get a lead on Elizabeth a large part of his reason for agreeing to meet with them despite his general misgivings.

"I wonder what information they've got," Rodney continued. "And where they got it from."

"I'm more interested in who these other survivors are," John countered grimly, "and why one of them wants to see Sabina."

"The only way we'll know is to go there and find out," I said easily. "And at least we can cross one thing off the list of impending events."

"We can?" John asked, looking at me with a raised brow.

"Sam's vision of Atlantis being destroyed," I said simply. "Elizabeth said they duplicated the city ... and that the other replicators wiped them out. Sounds exactly like what Sam described."

"What do you know?" Rodney quipped. "Some good news for a change."

oOo

If we'd done a brainstorming session then maybe one of us would have suggested what we found on New Athos ... after all the sane and reasonable ideas had been exhausted. Meeting up with a replicated Team Sheppard was just disturbing. Rodney and Repli-Rodney took to each other immediately which kind of surprised me given how uncomfortable Rodney had been with his AU self. Ronon was hostile, Teyla accepting.

As for John? Well I couldn't really tell what he was feeling one way or the other - beyond the fact that he didn't have any strong emotions driving him. Sadly that wasn't the case with Repli-John. His expression along with the fact that there was no Replicator version of me told me immediately why they'd wanted me along. He knew who I was, but it was more than just copies of my John's memories floating around in his head. The feelings had obviously been copied over as well. I wasn't sure what he was expecting. To be honest I wasn't sure I even wanted to speak to him. What would it accomplish after all?

Rodney and his counterpart quickly agreed on their approach to making use of the core drive from the Replicator ship tracking device. Heading out of the tent deep in discussion they left the rest of us behind, wondering what to do next.

My John watched Rodney leaving before turning back to face Elizabeth again.

"We appreciate all this, but the truth is, we came here for another reason," he said. "You were with the Replicators. What do you know about our Elizabeth, and are you willing to help us get her back?"

I didn't miss the glance Elizabeth and Repli-John exchanged before Elizabeth moved slowly across to John.

"Let's walk," she suggested gently. I moved to join them but stopped when a hand landed on my shoulder.

"I'd appreciate it if you would give me a few minutes of your time," Repli-John said just as gently.

John turned back to me with a thoughtful look on his face.

"You know yourself," Repli-John told him. "You know I wouldn't risk anyone hurting her, myself included."

"It's up to Sabina," John replied, meeting my eyes with an open expression that said he was just as comfortable with me agreeing as he was with me refusing.

I looked at Repli-John without saying anything. His face was carefully expressionless now but his eyes spoke volumes. In them was pain and grief and yet also hope. In the end I couldn't ignore that.

"Okay," I agreed reluctantly. "But just a few minutes."

And so we split up. John went for a walk with Elizabeth, both sets of Ronon and Teyla's also heading off to check out the surrounding area. That left Repli-John and me in the tent alone together.

"Well this is awkward," I said nervously, looking anywhere but at him.

"I remembered you," Repli-John spoke in a low voice. "They wiped your existence from everyone's minds. They tried to do the same thing to me but I remembered you anyway. It was hell because I was the only one who did. They had me questioning my own sanity."

"I'm sorry," I said, not really sure why.

"Not your fault," Repli-John said with a self depreciating smile. "I asked Elizabeth to make it a condition that you be here."

"I kinda worked that out for myself," I retorted, relaxing somewhat in the face of his approach.

"Everything I have up here," Repli-John pointed to his head, "it's all just copied memories. None of it really happened to me and yet I feel ... I feel." He turned away, putting a hand to his eyes. I saw him swallow hard and I knew suddenly how much he was struggling. In that moment I realised that no matter how he'd been created he was a real person. Not my John but still a living breathing human being who was hurting, in a way because of me even though I'd had no choice in being the instrument of his suffering.

"John?" I let my tone speak for me, urging him to continue knowing I was invested in helping him if I could.

"I thought if I saw you in person I could own the memories as much as I own those feelings," Repli-John concluded. "I know, that sounds pretty stupid right? I know you belong to him and you'd never do anything to risk that. And I wouldn't erase the way I feel even if I could. I don't know what I thought I'd really achieve by getting you here."

"John?" I tapped my earpiece, waiting for my John to respond.

"Sabina?" his voice rumbled in my ear, grounding me and making me sure of what I should do.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm about to hug the Replicator you so you better speak up right now if that really bothers you," I said quickly. My gaze was locked on Repli-John and I smiled at the grin that appeared on his face.

"Ah ... all right?" John replied uncertainly. "Just ... don't kiss him okay."

"God no!" I retorted. "Are you heading back? I want to know what happened to our Elizabeth."

"We're a few minutes away," John reported. "Do me a favour? Don't ask him to tell you. I want to do that."

"Okay," I closed off the channel, my mind swirling with unpleasant thoughts. There could be only one reason why John wanted to tell me.

"You okay?" Repli-John broke into my reverie.

"Ah ...," turning my attention back to him I smiled. "I'm really sorry the Replicators did this to you." Walking slowly over to him I held out a hand, smiling again when he took it without hesitation.

No jolt ... that was the first thing that struck me as our hands met. Repli-John might have looked and sounded like my John but the lack of an ATA gene reaction from me said more than anything else that he wasn't John. I don't know why but that fact made me feel even sadder for him ... like they'd taken away something inherent that any version of John should have. It was all very confusing and in the end I pushed the thoughts from my mind and concentrated on treating him like a person in need of simple human comfort.

Pulling him to me I put my arms around his middle and hugged him tightly. "I wish there was something we could do to fix this."

"This is a pretty good start," Repli-John replied, his voice shaking with unshed tears.

"God this is so screwed up!" I pulled back so I could see his face. His eyes were glazed and his control at the limit, I knew it wouldn't take much to push him over the edge. I wanted to do something to bring him back but I couldn't think of anything except the lame comment I came up with. "This is nice and all but I'm not kissing you – just in case you were wondering."

"I got that from your side of that radio conversation," Repli-John laughed abruptly. "I can't believe you told him you were hugging me before you did it."

"Sure you can," I countered, pulling away and taking a step back.

"You got married?" Repli-John gestured to the rings I'd gotten so used to wearing. Even as a Replicator he didn't miss a thing.

"Yeah, couple of months ago," I said with a smile. "Eloped back on Earth."

"I bet that drove the IOA into fits," Repli-John said with an amused chuckle.

"They weren't thrilled having 'approval' power taken away from them," I agreed. The conversation dwindled to a stop, the awkward silence another testament to the fact that this really wasn't my John with whom I was never at a loss for words. "So what now?" I eventually asked.

"Now we get on with defeating the Replicators," Repli-John said decisively, already pulling everything difficult back inside.

"Good," I turned to leave the tent in search of my John.

"Sabina?" Repli-John called me back. I turned to him with a raised brow. "Thank you for this," he said simply. "It helped ... more than you could possibly know."

"You're welcome," I returned. "Should we go find John and Elizabeth?"

"I'm right behind you," Repli-John promised.

That's about the time all hell broke loose.

Teyla was on the radio shouting that the Replicators had arrived. John was ordering Rodney and I to fall back to the Gate, an order immediately rescinded when Major Jordan reported that the Replicators had the Gate locked down.

"All right, everybody fall back to the Jumper," John ordered instead. "Sabina, Rodney, did you hear me?"

"I'm already on the way," I reported back. "I've got the other John with me."

"Yeah, I heard you too," Rodney reported in next. "We're on our way."

By the time we got there the others had all gathered. Elizabeth took centre stage - clearly she and John had already come up with a plan.

"We're going to provide a distraction," she indicated herself and her team. "We use our Jumper to lure that ship away from the Gate. If you and your people are in position near the Gate you should be able to dial Atlantis before the Replicator's realise."

"No!" Rodney protested. "What happens when they catch up with you?"

"We cloak as soon as we're far enough away," Repli-John looked to Elizabeth with a subtle nod. "We've escaped one of their ships that way before."

"You could come back with us," I looked at Elizabeth pleadingly. I knew she wasn't our Elizabeth but at that point I didn't care. I just wanted to save one version of her. Deep down I guess I was thinking if I could do that then it would make up for not saving our Elizabeth.

"We both know that's not as simple as it sounds," Elizabeth said kindly. "Besides, we'll all have a better chance this way."

"I don't want you doing this because you feel any less, uh ...," John trailed off, unsure what word to use.

"Human?" Elizabeth offered. "From the beginning we've been trying to convince ourselves that we're just like you. Now we've got a chance to prove it."

"Not like this," I tried again to convince her.

"We don't have time for a long discussion," Elizabeth smiled, everything about her demeanour telling us she was satisfied with her decision. "We'll do our best to give you sufficient time. Use what we gave you wisely ... defeat the Replicators and we'll call it even."

"All right," John motioned for those of us going back to the Gate to gather to him. "Let's go."

"Sabina," Repli-John called to me. "It was a pleasure meeting you."

"Ah ... likewise?" I replied uncertainly, raising another smile from him. "You better fly that Jumper like the star pilot you always say you are."

"Never in doubt," Repli-John retorted with a smart arse smile. Turning serious again he added one final comment. "Take care of him."

"Never in doubt," I returned softly, starting when my John put his hand on my arm to draw my attention back to our part of the scenario. When I glanced back Repli-John and the others were gone.

"We have to go," John told me, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the path after Rodney and the rest of his team.

We ran for the Gate as quietly as we could, choosing a spot deep under cover where we could see the Replicator ships hovering. The other Jumper rose sharply from the trees, buzzing past the Replicators arrogantly before flying away low over the trees. Moments later the Replicator ships pursued, leaving the Gate unguarded.

"Now!" John shouted.

We all jumped up and sprinted for the Gate, Major Jordan getting to the DHD first and dialling home. As soon as we'd all stepped through to Atlantis John was ordering they shut the wormhole down.

"No-one else is coming," John concluded, looking at me sadly.

oOo

"Do you think they made it?' I asked John. It was late and the rest of the city slept. I had too much on my mind to settle down, questions I needed answers to. It was a balmy night and the breeze coming in from the ocean swept over the balcony refreshingly.

"It's not likely," John said honestly from his position sitting beside me. "But you never know. They might have been able to cloak before the Jumper got damaged too much."

"Tell me about Elizabeth," I requested, looking out over the ocean.

"According to the leader of the renegade group of Replicators she was killed months ago," John admitted sadly. "Oberoth tried to integrate her into the Replicator collective but she managed to retain some of her humanity. Oberoth was worried she'd corrupt other Replicators so he terminated her nanites."

"I expected it was bad news," I sighed, turning and pulling John's arm around me. Leaning my head on his chest I waited for the emotions to hit me. But they didn't. "I feel ... numb," I admitted. "I've spent so long wondering about her, worrying about what I did injecting those NAPs into her ... I don't know how to feel now. I think ...," I hesitated before continuing. "I think part of me is relieved because I know I didn't kill her with my stupid stunt. God that is so wrong, isn't it?" Jumping up I turned to lean over the balcony, feeling angry and sickened at my selfish thoughts.

"It's not wrong," John came up behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "It's a natural reaction. Everyone struggles to live with uncertainty ... we needed closure even if it's not what we hoped for."

"I guess," I turned to face him again. "How are you feeling about all this?"

"Like I want to go out and hit something, really hard," he admitted. "Like I want to sit down and be weak for a moment, not have to hold everything in just to keep sane."

"We make a great pair don't we?" I smiled weakly, my lips trembling as I fought the tears that had finally arrived.

"I authorised her personal effects to be removed tomorrow," John admitted hoarsely. "I never did it before because I really believed we were gonna bring her back home."

Running out of words John pulled me into him, holding me close. That was enough to release the water works ... the tears for Elizabeth I'd held inside for months. I don't know how long we remained like that, quiet but for the sound of the ocean and my sobbing. In time my tears ran out and I leant tiredly into John, still needing his closeness.

"It was sad," I told him softly. "Repli-John holding on to those emotions even though he knew they weren't really his own."

"I got a glimpse at a picture of myself I don't ever want to see for real," John admitted. "Grief over losing you knowing you were alive and well hit him hard. I don't even want to imagine how much worse that could be."

"Is that why you didn't mind me hugging him?" I asked curiously.

"It was a small thing and if I know me, it would have helped," John excused lightly.

"How's Rodney taking all this?" I changed the subject abruptly.

"Not well," John replied. "He's buried himself in work so he doesn't have to talk about it. The good news from that is he got the tracking device working."

"How bad is it?" I looked up at John worriedly.

"About forty ships detected so far," John replied grimly.

"Crap, that is bad," I said weakly. "What can we do when they have such vastly superior numbers?"

"Nothing tonight," John still had his arms around me and he tightened his hold so he could lift me off my feet. Walking us both inside he didn't stop until he'd reached the bed, letting his forward momentum propel us down to the mattress. "It's been a long, difficult day and it's late."

"I'll sleep when you do," I bargained, happy for him to settle us spooned together under the sheets.

"It's a deal," John pressed a good night kiss to the side of my neck, sighing as he rested his head beside mine.

We lay awake together for a long time but eventually we did fall asleep.

Author's Note:

Next Up? The Other Side of the Story Chapter 9