Chapter 3 : Nevermore

"Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.' " -E. A. Poe, the Raven

The next morning, Elizabeth had not eaten breakfast and the Darcy siblings assumed that she was not an early riser, but that was not true. The truth was that she had not slept at all; she tried to close her eyes for one moment as she laid in bed, but her father's face appeared immediately, making her awake. The sun had just started to rise when she exited the room and walked towards the library again and for her sake, she did not find Darcy again. She was all alone and as she looked around the room, she found the newspaper she left half-read in the same spot she had left it. Indeed, it was the same newspaper that was the cause of her disagreement with Mr. Darcy. She smiled a little; as she thought of their conversation last night, because she never believed the things he said to her. But, that was logical, because seeing Georgiana, who was raised by him as she had been told, she did fit in his description of accomplished ladies, but definitely he did not brought her up to be the kind of woman, who acted with specific standards. But, she could understand his reasons; for he was being hurt, embarrassed that a woman like her possessed and believed in such liberties. He was a man and as a common of this society, was forced -or even persuaded to act and believe that women could not accomplish more than men.

It was almost ten, when the door opened and a figure stepped in. Elizabeth, who was paying too much attention to the book she was reading, did not heard anything at all. It was a cough, which make her realize that she was not alone anymore and as she turned her look to see the interrupter, she saw a familiar face. Mr. Darcy's of course.

"I am sorry for disturbing you, madam" he said and he sat on the couch, just opposite to her. "I did not believe that I would find you here."

"Believed or hoped?" Elizabeth asked seriously, but as she saw his face got pale she laughed a little "I am sorry, I hope that you are not offending by my teasing."

Darcy took a deep breath as he heard her last words, indeed she was so good at teasing, but tease and cynic was some things that he was proficient. "Not at all." he paused as he tried not to form a smile "We had not the pleasure of your company in breakfast."

Elizabeth looked down on her lap and after taking a very deep breath, she replied "Yes, indeed, I was not hungry at all."

It was only then, when Darcy finally looked directly into herr eyes, just to see black circles under them. Her eyes were red and she seems really tired, like she had used all her energy, only breathing with effort. She seemed vulnerable and lost; like a child who had taken away all its toys and it was mourning in silence. She seemed to have scars inside her, maybe not many, just one, but that one seemed so deep that the bleeding was obvious. "Are you alright?" She nodded, as she was used to do that everytime she was asked this question. But, Darcy, who could see the truth, insisted "I mean, are you truly alright?"

"No, I am not" she said in complete frankness; her voice heard different. She was about to cry or tried with effort not to. But, when Darcy was about to speak again, she turned her face away just to hide it from him, but that was not possible. With no further thought, Darcy stood up and sat next to her. "You should not.." she tried to speak, but she broke. Tears were falling down on her cheek and she could not longer keep them in.

Darcy took her hand in his "It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know." he paused to think "It is like walking up the stairs to your bedchamber in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things." He squeezed her hand and as he did, Elizabeth immediately wiped her tears and took some deep breaths, just to calm herself and return to her normal breathing "But, people are meant to survive in any occasion. And think of this only the way of making you stronger."

"But how can I?" she spoke as she turned her gaze to him.

"Like I did" he responded immediately, but without wanting to mention himself and his experience, he said "I cannot tell you that the pain shall stop, but time is a great healer. Obligations and certainly love can help you feel less hurt."

"Every morning, I wake up and forget just for a second that it happened. But once my eyes open, it buries me like a landslide of sharp, sad rocks. Once my eyes open, I'm heavy, like there's to much gravity on my heart."

"Yes, I know" he confessed as he remembered the way he felt the early days of their death of his parents. Neither of them said anything, they just kept looking in the eyes, like they had never seen each other before, like it was their first day of their acquaintance. It was an odd sensation, for they felt like they were not alone in the world, like they understood each other perfectly.

So that's how they lived their lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that was stolen from them, that was snatched right out of their hands - even if they were left completely changed, with only the outer layer of skin from before, they continued to play out their lives this way, in silence. They drew ever nearer to the end of their allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of insurmountable emptiness. Maybe, in some distant place, everything was already, quietly, lost. Or at least there existed a silent place where everything could disappear, melting together in a single, overlapping figure.

"I am sincerely sorry" she finally said, breaking the silence between them, but seeing his expression and his confusion, she continued "...that we had to face the loss of the same kind, that we are no longer ourselves and that we are left broken."

He simply nodded and without having anything to say or rather not wanting to extent the subject, he simply said "Let us not speak of it any longer." He paused, expecting her reply, but as he saw her nod, he continued "My cousin is expected this afternoon, I hope that you are well enought to delight us with your presence"

"Yes, indeed. I already should apologise to Georgiana for my morning absence."

Darcy smiled a little; but he did not make a comment about it. "I should leave you now, for I have some business I have to take care of." He immediately stood up and took some steps away from her, but suddently stopped snd turned his face to look at her. "When I finish my today's newspaper, I will bring it to you"

Elizabeth smiled as she realized how observative he was, because the newspaper was now on the desk, opened and used. But, that was not the only reason that the smile formed upon her lips, it was because he had chose to forget their disagreement as she already had. "Thank you, you are too kind"

Some minutes later, Darcy was seated in his private office, signing some papers, when Elizabeth passed through his mind. Her smile, that smile, which gave him before and her eyes, those bright eyes captured his thoughts for once more. And as he kept his gaze upon the papers, trying so hard to concentrate, in vain, her face kept appearing again and again, until he was so exhausted, trying to escape that he chose to close his eyes. What impact she had on him?

In this chapter I gave my attention mostly on Elizabeth's pain and on their relationship. I thought it was a great opportunity for them to come closer by their suffering. I hope that you are not disappointed and understand my reasons. This is another chapter I uploaded the same day, I was so eager to write and update, because of the love you gave me. Please tell me what you think of this chapter and if you still want me to continue, because your reviews ca make my day brighter.

Many of you keep mentioning my mistakes and I am sorry for the inconvenience, but in this chapter I tried to reduce them. I am sincerely sorry and I hope that you keep want to read the story and want to find what is going to happen next. Also, I want to thank each one of you who already followed and reviewed. You have no idea how much this means to me, because I am really fond of this story and I am really proud of myself of the way I am writing -and I am so sorry for any mistakes again.