Chapter 35: It's not a long term solution
Now that Rodney had cracked the tracking device RepliElizabeth had given us, it provided another means for thwarting the Replicators. Over the following weeks, every off world team became very busy going to human planets in the path of Replicator ships. Before I knew it I'd already done ten missions with Team Lorne and I could see that there'd be many more with no end in sight. We needed to complete the original plan to turn off the attack directive but so far Rodney had been struggling to come up with something, even with the Wraith's continuing help.
John's team were off the next day to M9R-373; Team Lorne was scheduled to go somewhere more familiar – M7G-677, more fondly known as 'the planet with all the kids'. We hadn't checked in there for a while and Rodney was concerned about the continuing viability of their Wraith shield so we were taking Doctor Zelenka with us to remove their ZPM just in case.
"Have you noticed anything off with Teyla lately?" John asked me at dinner the night before. Usually we ate together in the Mess Hall, making ourselves available to anyone who wanted to sit with us. John had decided that we should eat alone for a change and I'd suggested a picnic on the East Pier.
"She's been different since they came back from New Athos when her people first went missing," I replied, sitting cross legged on the blanket.
"I meant health wise," John clarified. "She's been late for missions and she looks sick much of the time."
"Yeah, I did notice that," I admitted. "I'm sure it's nothing serious otherwise Jennifer wouldn't be clearing her to go off world." I had some vague suspicions as to why Teyla was unwell but it wasn't my place to raise them, especially not within the context of John's relationships within his team. "It must be difficult for her being so worried about her people all the time."
"I guess," John nodded, letting the matter drop. Handing me a fizzing soda in a fancy glass he held up his own and looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes. "Happy three month anniversary."
"Really?" I smiled in delight. "Is that why we're out here instead of in the Mess?"
"It's been a busy few weeks," John pointed out. "We haven't had a lot of time to spend together, beyond dropping into bed at the end of the day already half asleep."
"True," I agreed. Tapping my glass against his gently I smiled again. "Happy three month anniversary."
We each took the customary sip before putting the glasses aside. In unison we wordlessly gathered up the plates and cutlery and other bits and pieces and put everything back in the basket. Setting it aside John turned back to me, stretching out on his side and propping his head up on one arm.
"And are you happy Mrs Sheppard?" he asked in all seriousness.
"Deliriously Mr Sheppard," I returned just as seriously. "I don't know if that's appropriate right now because there are whole communities being wiped out, Teyla's people are still missing, we have a Wraith in the city, and we know Elizabeth's gone but ... that's the way I feel." John's expression said he was pleased with my admission, and I knew he understood the mixed feelings in that. "What about you?"
"I agree with everything you said," John replied. "It's all been hard to deal with, especially everything to do with finding out Elizabeth's fate ... disappointment, anger, grief, more anger. Would have been much harder without the good stuff to balance it out."
"Exactly!" I returned. "I can't believe it's been three months already."
"Yeah," John got to his feet, holding down a hand to pull me up too. Putting his arms around me he twirled us a couple of times before setting me down again. Brushing my hair back from my face his expression was fondness and love and maybe even a bit of wonder, despite how well we knew each other. "I wasn't sure how the whole marriage thing was gonna go," he admitted. "Don't get me wrong, I was confident we'd make it work somehow but I didn't expect it to be so smooth a transition. I know that's mostly because of you." I was about to protest but John put a hand over my lips and shook his head. "Maybe I haven't actively acknowledged what you do but that doesn't mean I haven't noticed. Checking in on people when they're sick or injured. Keeping up with morale and doing the subtle heads up with Sam to help her know when there's a potential problem. Being the first one to turn up and offer help if there's a need. I can see how much everyone trusts you, military and civilian and I just ... I can't tell you how much I appreciate it ... how much I appreciate you."
"Wow - I can't believe you've managed to embarrass me," I could feel the heat rising on my cheeks. "When you put it like that it sounds very 'wife' behind the scenes doesn't it? Not that I set out to be that ... I just wanted to help, to have some kind of role beyond being my own little department of Wraith and Ancient research."
"Well you've certainly done that," John agreed, hugging me close. Leaning his chin on top of my head he continued. "In fact I think you've turned being the only military wife here into a position in its own right."
"All part of the service," I quipped, going up on my toes so I could nestle my face into that warm spot just under his jaw for a moment. Leaning back to look at him I tried to explain. "I know how lucky I am to be employed here, how lucky we are to be together. There are a lot of people with spouses back on Earth and it's difficult for them, even the military guys who're used to separation."
"You earned a position here long before you were my wife," John reminded me. "I hope you don't think you have to keep earning it because they're letting us both stay here."
"It's not like that," I explained. "It's more like I'd never take it for granted ... like I need to do things that show the SGC, the IOA, and I guess every person who lives here too, how much I appreciate it."
"Oh," John thought for a moment before nodding. "That makes sense."
"I know I haven't mentioned it since but that whole thing with Davos made me think about a lot of things," my voice shook a bit with nervousness as I decided abruptly that the time was right to raise something with John.
"Only natural," John agreed. "Anything specific?"
"Children," I let that one word be the entire conversation, knowing John would understand all the thinking that had gone on surrounding it.
"Are you saying ...?" John looked down at me in surprise.
"That I'm ready to have children right now?" I finished his sentence lightly. "I'm not sure I'd describe it as ready but ... it's something I've discovered I really want, I'm not getting any younger, and, to borrow the words of Davos, the window of opportunity may not be as wide as I'd like it to be."
"Oh," John replied somewhat lamely. I had to smile because for the first time that I could recall I'd actually succeeded in making him speechless. I knew that having children had become something important to him many months before but deep down John believed it would be a long time until I reached that same place. That he was willing to wait, to let me get there on my own, meant more to me than I could express and maybe had even helped me get there faster than I otherwise would have.
"What I'm trying to say ... to ask," I took a moment to think about my words before continuing, "John, will you give me a child? I mean not right this minute or anything, just ... could we just leave it up to fate, at least for the next few months?"
"I like the sound of that," John replied in a low tone. His eyes had that sparkly 'holding in strong emotions' shine and his expression let me know he was well aware of what a big thing it was for me, despite how casually I'd presented it.
"Good," I said, relieved to have that difficult conversation over for the time being. "Okay enough introspection," I announced, making him smile. "Give me a kiss."
"Yes Ma'am," John agreed promptly. He didn't move at first, searching my face as though he were painting himself a new picture, and ending with an intent gaze that got me all hot and bothered in seconds. Finally he leaned down, making the journey of his lips to mine slow and deliberate. I don't know how he made a kiss that added to the thousands we'd already shared into something new. But he did and I was quickly wishing we were somewhere just a little more private.
"John," I broke away, breathless and tingly.
"You're right," he grinned mischievously and the next thing I knew he'd swung me up into his arms and started walking back down the pier.
"John - put me down," my voice shook with giggles as he made like he couldn't hear me. "John, it's a long way between here and our room. You can't carry me all that way!"
"Sure I can," I should have known he'd take that as a challenge.
We got a lot of looks as John walked us down corridors, into transporters and then back out again. I took to hiding my face in his shoulder in embarrassment while he behaved as though he walked through Atlantis with me in his arms all the time.
"Sir," the sound of Major Lorne's voice had me groaning before I reluctantly raised my head to look at him.
"Major," John greeted him casually.
"Special occasion Sir?" Evan's lips twitched and I knew he was holding in his amusement with difficulty.
"Three month anniversary," John shared without even blinking.
"Go on, say it," I said when it looked like the Major was gonna make some kind of smart remark.
"All I was gonna say was congratulations," Evan countered. "You're all set for our mission tomorrow right?"
"Of course," I relied with a frown. "Why would you ask that now?"
"It's just that you seem to have something wrong with your legs so I thought ...,," Evan laughed as I groaned again.
"Oh very funny," I said with a straight face. "See you in the morning Major."
John got us moving again and I looked over his shoulder at Lorne's amused expression as he watched us walk away.
"Enjoy your evening Evan," I called out, making the next part deliberately suggestive. "We will be!"
I was close enough to see his face redden before he turned and strode away.
"That was mean," John admonished me, eyes filled with amusement.
"But necessary," I returned. "You know what it's like on a team ... you let anyone get the upper hand and you never hear the end of it."
"True," John agreed. Eventually we got to our room, but not before it seemed like we'd passed every single person in the city. John wasn't even breathing hard when he dropped me down on the bed.
"Very impressive display of masculine strength," I complimented.
"Oh I've got more where that came from," John replied with a suggestive look of his own.
"Show me," I let the light hearted tone of the last few minutes dissipate, wanting him with the same urgency I'd felt since the first time.
It wasn't like we hadn't connected in the intimate sense over the last few weeks ... but we hadn't taken the time to really do justice to that aspect of our relationship. Being the sole focus of John Sheppard's attention was still a turn on all on its own. He had me immersed in that other world of touching and caring and giving in an instant, for once neither of us in a hurry to get to the other side.
oOo
Our mission to M7G-677 went off without a hitch, their familiarity with Atlantis personnel making it easy for us to convince them they should relocate for a while. While Radek downloaded everything from their Ancient defence system before removing the almost depleted ZPM, Major Lorne coordinated the rest of us to get everyone Gating back to Atlantis. They were a relatively small settlement so putting them on the mainland of New Lantia seemed the most efficient course of action. Hopefully we'd be able to return them home before too long.
"Good mission?" John was waiting on the steps to the Control Room when I stepped through the gate a couple of hours later.
"Yeah," I agreed, handing off my weapon to one of the Gateroom marines. "Everyone evacuated without a fuss ... Brown was coordinating that from this end so I assume they're now safely settled on the mainland. Major Lorne is just supervising Radek's removal of the ZPM so they should be here in a half hour or so. How did your mission go?"
"M9R went okay," John offered, turning and motioning me up the steps. "The Sions agreed to head to one of their trading partners, once Teyla talked at them for a while. Unfortunately we lost Lieutenant Kemp's team and two thousand villagers this morning – Replicators got there earlier than we'd predicted."
"We can't keep doing this can we?" I asked grimly.
"It's not a long term solution," John agreed, his expression telling me how deeply he felt the loss of those men. "We can't save everyone but we have made a difference so far. It's enough to keep us going until we can switch off the directive."
"How's that coming along?" I shot a glance at John in time to see him grimace slightly. "What?"
"Rodney's been given a deadline of 10 hours ... as of a few hours ago," John revealed. "The Daedalus and the Apollo arrived while you were gone. Colonel Ellis was less than impressed with Rodney's progress."
"What happens when the ten hours are up?" I asked worriedly.
"Our ships use their Asgard plasma beam weapons to take out individual Replicator ships," John revealed. "They're aware that won't destroy the Replicator cells but they seem happy enough with the idea of inert cells floating around in space."
"How did Rodney take that?" I raised an eyebrow in surprise, imagining he'd have been less than impressed.
"He was okay all things considered," John replied. "It was pretty clear Ellis had no respect for the scientific approach – he was pretty hard on Rodney."
"This is the same Ellis who thought you should have been in charge instead of Elizabeth?" I confirmed.
"Yeah," John agreed. "Sam wasn't impressed ... dressed him down about talking to Rodney like that. It was kinda cool actually."
"Good for her," I smiled at the idea. We'd arrived at the infirmary by then so I moved over to one of the beds to wait for my post mission check.
"You've got another mission this afternoon, right?" John moved to stand beside me, waiting for my nod before continuing. "I'll be in with our visiting Colonels, working out Plan B."
"Do you think Rodney will finish before the end of the deadline?" I asked.
"In a word? No," John admitted. "I'm not saying that given enough time he couldn't work out how to turn off this directive but we don't have that kind of time. We're already stretched too thin on resources and we're running out of places to relocate people."
"Will you be going with them when they head out?" I asked the question even though I was pretty sure I knew what the answer would be.
"For the first mission," John explained. "If that proves successful then Colonel Caldwell and Colonel Ellis will work out their own strategy to take out as many Replicator ships as they can."
"Sabina," Jennifer came over to do my post mission check herself.
"Hey Jennifer," I greeted her with a smile. "You must be getting sick of all these additional checks by now."
"It is a little odd seeing the same person more than once in the same day," Jennifer admitted, quickly confirming all the things on the list they usually checked.
"Unfortunately you'll be seeing me back here later too," I told her. "Got just enough time for food and then we're heading back out again."
"Well as long as we don't see you in here for anything else I can't complain," Jennifer said with a smile. "Everything checks out here so you're free to go."
"Thanks Jennifer," I hopped off the bed eagerly and moved to John's side. "See you later."
Author's Note:
Next Up? Fortunate Journey Season 4 Chapter 36