Chapter four: The accumulation of affection

"Beauty is in the eye of the gazer." - C. Bronte

Colonel Fitzwilliam was the younger son of their uncle, Lord Fitzwiliam. His manners were very admired, for he entered into conversation directly with the readiness and ease of a well-bred man, and talked pleasantly; causing astonishment to Elizabeth as she realized how different he was from his cousin. He was seated next to her, in the draeing room, because Georgiana for once more chose to delight them with her performance and to be exact, it was a request from the Colonel himself, who claimed to miss her playing. Elizabeth and he, talked about Hertfordshire, of travelling and her stay at Pemberley, of new books and music, and they conversed with so much spirit and flow, as to draw the attention of Darcy, who was standing opposite from them, besides Georgianna, turning the pages for her. His eyes had been soon and repeatedly turned towards them with a look of curiosity, making him turning the pages slowly, causing Georgianna to remind him frequently the task.

When coffee was over and Georgiana had already finished her performance and was now seated next to her brother, discussing of the new book that she was currently reading, Colonel reminded Elizabeth of having promised to play to him; she sat down directly to the instrument, making both of Darcy siblings look at her. They were both surprised that she finally consented to play the pianoforte, because it was requested from the young lady in many occasions, everytime she refused. Colonel drew a chair near her and Elizabeth took a deep breath to calm herself and after a minute, she started. When half of the song was completed, Mr. Darcy walked away from his sister and moved with his usual deliberation towards the pianoforte, stantioned himself so as to command a full view of the fair performer's countenance.

"You mean to frighten me, Mr. Darcy by coming in all this state to hear me? But I will not be alarmed, you see there is a stubbornness about me that can never bear to be frightened by the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me."

"I shall not say that you are mistaken" he replied "because you cannot really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you; and I have had the pleasure of your acquaintance enough to know that you find great enjoyment in occasionally professing opinions which in fact are not your own"

Elizabeth laughed heartily at this picture of herself and said to Colonel "Our cousin will give you a very pretty nation of me and teach you not to believe a word I say. I'm particularly unlucky in meeting with a person so well able to expose my real character, in a part of a world, where I had hoped to pass myself off with some degree of credit. Indeed, it is very ungenerous in you to mention all that you knew to my disadvantage and give me leave to say, very impolitic too, for it would provoking me to retaliate, and such things may come out, as will shock your relations to hear."

Darcy, who his heart had stopped in her first word, referring him as cousin, smiled a little and said "I am not afraid of you"

"Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of" cried Colonel "I should like to know how he behaves among strangers"

"You shall hear then - the first time I saw him was when he frightened me. I had just stepped out of the carriage; observing the estate, when I heard a harsh voice behind me. I turned my face, just to see his cruel expression. I must tell you I never got more frightened in my entire life" she paused "and without saying much, he walked towards the house. Such an unpleasant welcome and mpolite manners, don't you think?"

"I was not in the mood of socializing" he expressed himself.

"Neither was I, but this reason never dragged me away from civility, nor have I ever use to excuse my incivility"

"Are you so severe upon one's behavior?"

"No" she confessed "But, I cannot simply give excuse to everything, especially to those, who do not even care."

"You are perfectly right" he smiled a little "Neither can I forget the follies and vicies of others so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not so puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost is lost forever."

"That is a failling indeed." She paused "Hopeless case is it not?"

They all laughed.

The next morning, Elizabeth was seated in the garden alone, enjoying the sunlight, because Georgiana was still sleeping and the gentlemen had gone riding. It was one hour later, when she saw them returning; they both bowed out of courtesy, as they saw her sitting there and Darcy entered the estate. On the contrary, Colonel approached her and sat next to her on the bench. He asked her if she slept well; if she enjoyed breakfast, and with forming a smile, she replied. She really thought of him a very agreeable fellow, he was beyond comparison the pleasantest man and he certainly seemed to take an interest in her. Even though, she only become an acquaintance with him the previous night, they seemed to fancy each other and they most definitely had the best stimulating conversations.

"How much do you intend to stay?" she asked.

"I know not. I am at Darcy's disposal, he arranges the business just as he pleases"

"And if not able to please himself in the arrangement, he has at least great pleasure in the power of choice. I cannot know anybody who seems more to enjoy the power of doing what he likes than Mr. Darcy"

"He likes to have his own way very well" replied "but so we all do. It is only that has the better means of having it than many others, because he's rich and many others are poor. I speak feelingly. A youngest son, you know, must be inrured to self-denial and dependence."

"I imagine our cousin brought you down chiefly for the sake of having somebody at his disposal. I wonder he does not marry, to secure a lasting convenience of that kind. But, perhaps poor Georgiana does as well for the present; maybe he may do what he likes with me now."

"No" said Colonel Fitzwilliam "that is an advantage which he must divine with me. I am joined with him in the guardianship of her."

"Then, it seems that I am the only one available " Elizabeth replied and looked down on her lap.

"You need not to be frightened. Darcy is not heartless as he may seems. He is generous and kind man, one of the best I know." he paused and Elizabeth turned her face to look at him "Besides, I spend most of the year here and I assure you that you are safe from him. I was at war, have you forgotten? You cannot possibly think so ill of me, not to be able to protect you"Elizabeth laughed and when she was about to responce, she heard a voice from behind her. It was a servant, addressing to Colonel, saying that he is needed in Mr. Darcy's office. Without saying anything, he nodded and the man left. Colonel stood and left with a smile upon his face.

Elizabeth was seated with Georgiana in the library, as for she realized that this was her favourite room of all the others and she took great pleasure of sitting here, especially in the afternoon. The two ladies had grown very fond of each other and they considered themselves as sisters. The feeling of solitude had not so strong any longer and Elizabeth felt like she belonged somewhere, that she stopped being lonely, well not entirely, but most of the pain was gone. And that moment, she realized how right her cousin was, when he told her that it was going to lessen.

"Do you like it here, Elizabeth?" she asked in complete honesty.

"Yes, I think I do" she paused "But, I do miss my old life"

"Tell me about it" Georgiana requested.

Elizabeth started from how her routine was, when she used to take long walks around the neighborhood and the books she enjoyed reading, while she and her father were on the library. She even told her the few balls she attended and the only time she had gone to London and how enchanted she found the city. She mentioned Jane, her best friend, who was known as the local beauty and that she was the most kindest and purest person she knew.

"Do you feel Pemberley as your home?" she asked again.

"I am beginning to, but I do feel like I am a burden, a little."

"Do not say that; I am so glad that you are here." the young lady smile and touch her gand.

"Your brother does not have the same sentiments, I believe"

"Fitzwilliam?" Georgiana asked. "No, you are mistaken. He is very pleased, after all it was him, who wanted you to stay"

Elizabeth froze and her hands got colder. "What do you mean?"

"I..." she paused, feeling unease "Well, when he was asked by the lawyer, if it was acceptable for you to stay with us, since you had no place to go, he immediately consented. He did not even asked me if I agreed with that decision, he only announced it to me."

She could feel her heart smashed into milion pieces and for one second, she forgot to breath. She had misjudged him in the most terrible way and obviously he did not deserve it. All the descriptions about his character that various people kept saying this past days, were indeed true. But, how could she been so wrong? And that was the moment when she realized that appearances can be deceptive. People in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All people have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. Obviously she proved not to be one of them, but she never believed that she was not a true judge of characters.

By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are. It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, but the realization is very cruel, when you see how you let the prejudices and wrong judgements overtake you. You realize that you are half the person you used to be, for you let the evil inside you and Elizabeth certainly did not want that, she did not want her heart to have scars, for she knew well that they did not heal. She was a fool enough to think that you can know a person's character after a few moments of observation. You can't. You have no idea where his life began or how it was unfolded thus far. Only his present state can you witness. To judge someone at a glance is like reading one page in an open book, believing it's enough to confidently recite the story from beginning to end. True, one page may tell you much, but not nearly enough to accurately critique a book or evaluate a life.

"Oh" it was all that she managed to say.

"Please, do not say anything to him about it, he would not have wanted."

"I know" Elizabeth confessed.

This chapter is so diverting, you can see the unexpected progress of Elizabeth x Darcy and on the other hand, you can see sweet Colonel, who grows fond of Elizabeth. It took me many hours to write it, but I think it was worth it. I keep my uploads daily, because of you, when I finish writing the chapter, I upload it immediately. I only hope that my efforts are obvious. Thank you so much for the support! Tell me if you like how things turned out and do not forget to comment about this chapter.