Cartman slowly opened his eyes that morning.
Slowly.

The sun was shining through the window.
He looked to the window then slowly put his head
back down onto his mattress.
He felt so fucking sick.

Sick in his stomach, Sick in his chest, Sick in his mind.
The events that toke place yesterday couldnt escape from
Cartman's thoughts.

He felt so fucking discusted with himself.
He looked to his hand, and knew the thought of him touching
Rick's.. Dick, Just made him want to throw up.
No serriously He felt like he was going to throw up, He quickly got out
of his bed and ran to the bathroom, Opened the toilet immediatly felt
himself hurl out his insides.

He breathed and thought it was over,
but then another blow of puke gushed
out his mouth.

When he was almost sure it was over, He slowly backed his head
away from the toilet, Wipping his face from the puke that smeered on his cheek.

He breathed heavily. His brown hair felt hot, It suddenly felt hot in the bathroom.
And he could almost feel hot tears developing in his eyes.
Before he knew it he was crying.
He didnt try to, They just came out on it's own.
He slammed the toilet seat down and cried into his arms which laid on the top of the toilet.

Thoughts raced in his mind as tears strolled down,
'I could have stopped it. I could have fucking stopped it!
It's my fault, I should have known not to let Kyle kiss me when
that asshole was here! I should have been upstairs in my room!'

Cartman got up from his arms and wiped away His tears,
'I'm so fucking stupid!'

Cartman breathed. He knew crying wouldnt solve anything.
He didnt even know why he was crying.
He felt like such a fucking wuss to be crying over this.

He got to his face and looked to himself in the mirror.
His eyes were swollan and puffy, His face was red and his
Tears were very much visable.
He felt like such a fucking wuss to be crying over this.
"Your a fucking pussy" he said to his reflection.
This just made him feel worse and his heart burned, this never happened before.
He sniffled and wiped another tear that fell.

He slowly tip toed into his mom's room.
Her and Rick was in her bed asleep.
The secound he looked to Rick Cartman flinched.
Just seeing him after what happened.. He started feeling Sick again.
But refused to let himself throw up.
Cartman slowly walked into his room and sat onto his bed.
He looked to the clock. 6:45 AM.
He wondered why he was up so early then realized he didnt care.
He laid himself back onto his bed and starred to the wall.
He had a few hours before school starts.

He didnt want to go to school.
He really fucking didnt.
But he knew his mom had work today,
and if he didnt go to school he'd have to be
with Rick, Again, Alone.
Just the thought made his chest tighten.

'He'd probably do it again,
or he'd probably hurt me'

Cartman felt like tears were going to stream out
if he kept thinking about it.
He closed his eyes and blocked the thoughts out.
He soon fell back asleep.

"Come on junior, Just suck it"
"I dont want too!"
"But this is what you like isnt it fag?"
Rick stod over him with his pant's down and his dick
dangiling infront of his face,
"I dont want too! Get the fuck away from me!"
SLAP
"Dont fucking talk to me like that boy or I outa
teach you some manners!"
Cartman felt himself get a punch to his face and he fell to
the ground.
"Maybe this'll teach you A lesson" Rick Kicked him on his side,
"Ow!" He yelped in pain,
Rick laughed and kicked him again, and again, and a..

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Cartman opened his eyes and shut the alarm off.
He slowly sat up from his bed, closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

'It was just a dream.. It was just a dream.'

He got up from his bed and went next door to his bathroom and
turned on the sink splashing a handful of water into his face.
He turned it off and breathed slowly.
He toke a towl off the rack and sunk it into his face.
He looked up and felt his chest burning.
Something caught the corner of his eye, He looked and saw puke in the toilet.
He starred at it. Then he remebered him waking up this morning.
He walked to it and flushed the toilet.

Out of nowhere he felt like he was going to start crying again,
But he breathed and held it back with closed eyes.
He was not going to let himself do that again.

He looked to the mirror taking the brush out of the drawer then combing
through his messy hair.
Then he stopped.
There was something about today that felt different.
He had no desire to brush his hair,

He dropped the brush,
'Who care's what I look like. I'm fucking fat as it is.'
He walked into his room and picked up a clean shirt from the floor.
But had no desire to put it on.
He shrugged and walked out of the room.
He normaly ate breakfest, but had no desire to do that either.

He walked to the table, grabbed his Keys and went out the door.
Got into his car and sighed.
He didnt want to drive, He didnt want to go to school, he didnt want to do anything.
He sighed, But it was better then being here alone with Rick.
He slowly backed out of his driveway and headed for Kyle's house.

When he got to Kyle's He wasent outside.
He looked to his watch then realized he was 20 minneutes early.
He sighed and laid back.
Normally he would get frustrated when Kyle wasent where he wanted him to be.
He would get pissed.
He would march over to the door, bang on it loud enough so his bitch mom could hear
and demand Kyle to come out, Not careing he was early.
Cartman closed his eyes laying his head back on the seat.
But strangly, He didnt care.
He had no feeling of having to wait at all, Normally he hates waiting.

But Normaly, He wouldnt be here 20 minneutes early.
He was usually late.
He would be takeing a shower getting ready right now.
Cartman kept his pose sitting back in his seat infront of Kyle's house.

Cartman opened his eyes when He heard a door slam shut.
He looked and Saw his boyfriend walking towards his car looking confused.
He got to his car, Opened it, Closed it,
"Why are you here so early?"

Cartman shrugged and started up the car.
Kyle looked up and down at Cartman,
His hair was a mess, He's wearing the same clothes as yesterday..
Smell's like he didnt put deodiernt on.

"Did you not get ready?"
Cartman shrugged, "Didnt feel like it."
Kyle raised his eye brow, "You..Didnt feel like it" he repeated slowly.
"Uh huh."Cartman kept his stare out the window.
Blank expression.
Usually Kyle would tell exactly how Cartman was feeling,
But today, It was just strange, He couldnt tell.
He just seemed.. Different.

"Are.. You Ok?"
Cartman kept his stare, "Yeah. why?" he asked
quietly with no tone.
"I dont know.. You seem, Funny"
"I seem funny?" Cartman asked, with again no tone.
His eyes locked to the road.
"I dont know, Maybe its just me." Kyle shrugged it off and put his seatbelt on.
He looked to the side and noticed Cartman's bag wasent there.

"Where's your bag?" Kyle asked
Cartman glanced down to the spot he usually sets it.
It wasent there.
Cartman shrugged "I guess I forgot it."
"You forgot it?"
"I guess."

Silence filled the car.
Noone said a word.
A few secounds later,

"Dont you want to go back and get it?"
Cartman shrugged again, "no."
Kyle starred at him in disbelief, what does he mean No?!
Cartman had all his shit in his bag, He should know
if he doesnt have it he'll be bitched at by teachers the rest of the day!

Kyle looked forward.
Something was deffinently off About his boyfriend today.

Kyle and Cartman walked down the hall's as they entered the school.
They kept walking.. and passed Cartman's locker.
Usually they would stop at Cartman's locker, then Kyle's.
"Uh.. Cartman, We passed your locker."
"Uh huh."
Kyle looked at him puzzled, "Dont you want to get your stuff?
I mean you could still have some sheets and -"
"No, It's fine." Cartman shrugged.
Kyle starred at him, 'What the hell is wrong with him today?!'

Cartman slugged himself into science and dropped himself into his seat.
Stan saw him, and saw Cartman stareing down at his desk.
Stan rolled his eyes.

Everyone around them was talking to someone.
Mrs. Jhonson then came in.
"Hey kids, I know I said last time that yesterday was the last day to
work with your partners, But sense We didnt get through all the projects
yesterday, I want you to be grouped with your partners and write notes on their
theory."

'Damn it' Stan thought to himself.
Cartman had no thoughts at all.
Just kept his eyes to his desk.

Stan walked to Cartman's desk,
"Come on Fatass, We have to work together."
Stan crossed his arms aggressivly, waiting for Cartman's
smartass comeback, He was ready for it.

Cartman said nothing.
Stan smiled evily, 'He's probably thinking of what to say'

Stan waited 4 secounds, 5 secounds, 6 secounds..
Stan raised his eyebrow confused.
Then slowly Cartman arose from his seat without looking
at Stan and walked to their workout place.
"What the hell?" Stan asked himself.

A few secounds later Stan decided to iggnore the insadent and sat
next to Cartman. Cartman looked off to the side when He heard Stan
sit down.

"Ok, lets just work on our notes, I'll write about the
Acid's of what they used and you just write the details
of what their doing."

Stan knew Cartman wouldnt give in that easily,
He knew Cartman would use his 'You cant tell me what to do, asshole'
methods.
Stan waited for the moment to arive and Stan could threaten
to tell Mrs. Jhonson that he wasent participating again.
He grinned at the thought the fatass could get detention.

He smiled and crossed his arms, waiting for Cartman's remark.
Waiting.. Waiting.. 'What the hell?'

Cartman just simply stared down at his paper,
Didnt even glance at Stan.
DIdnt say.. Anything.

"Uh.. Cartman?" Stan asked confused.
Cartman said nothing, Just store down to his blank
lined paper, drawing meaningless lines with his pencil.
"Huh?" he asked quietly.

"Um.. Did you hear me?"
"Yeah."
Stan store at him wide eyed.
'What the hell's wrong with him?"
"Uh.. That Ok?"
"Whatever" Cartman mumbled, eyes still stareing to the paper.

Stan raised his eyebrow.
He couldnt believe it, Was Cartman actually giving up the chance
to argue and try to intimidate someone?

Stan starred at Cartman.
'Couldnt be'

Stan looked away from Cartman,
But then looked back to him.
Cartman's eyes never left the paper.
Stan couldnt help but wonder.
'What the fuck's wrong with him?'

Brad Pittsberg and Kevin Daniels went first.
They started explaining their experiment and Stan started jotting
down notes. About 3 Experiment presintations later, Stan toke a glance
at Cartman's notes.
Nothing.
He had nothing on the paper except for circles he slowly drew in.
"Cartman! what the fuck!" Stan whispered to him.
Cartman didnt even look up, just tilted his pencil slowly into the circlular motion.
Stan knew he heard him.
"Cartman your suppose to be writting down details of what their doing!"
Stan hissed.

Cartman didnt replie or look up from the paper.
Just kept drawing the outlines of the circle.
Stan hated getting iggnored, "Cartman! Your suppose to be working!"
Again Cartman didnt respond.

"Fine Fatass, I'm going to tell Mrs. Jhonson Your not working on it with me,
And you'll fail!"
Cartman's blank expression to the paper didnt change.
"Dont care." He muttered.

Stan's eyebrows went up, 'didnt care?'
Cartman had bad enough grades as it was,
He gets all pissed off whenever he fails another class!

"What the hell's gotten into you?!" Stan asked confused with a hint of anger.
Cartman said nothing. Just kept drawing the lines of the circle.
Stan rolled his eyes and looked to his page, irritated of being iggnored.
'If he wants to fail, Fine.' he decided.

Cartman groaned at the thought he had Gym next.
He didnt want to go to gym.
His body still fucking hurt from the day before yesterday's beating.
It hurt like hell when he did go to Gym.
Then he turned and went the opposite direction.
He decided he wasent going to Gym.
Normally he would just want to get it the fuck over with so he doesnt
fail again, and so Mr. Ryler wouldnt bitch at him about it.
But This time, Cartman just didnt care.
He noticed, He hasent cared about anything today.
He didnt know what was wrong with him, He knew he wasent himself,
But again, He didnt care.

He opened his locker, Grabbed his pack of ciggerates, and shoved it
in his pocket. He really needed one right now.
He slammed his locker shut and headed for the exit door.
He knew he could get a two days worth of detention for walking out of school,
But didnt care.
He flipped open the doors and walked to his right, and leaned against the brick wall
of the school.
He toke out his lighter and lit the ciggerate takeing a long drag.
This felt alot better.. But not much.
He felt like nothing could make him feel better.
He was trapped in this feeling, like there was a hole in his stomach.
He toke another drag.
'Who am I?' He asked himself.
He exhaled the breath.
He knew he wasent himself.. but he again, didnt care.
He's now decided the person he is is a pathetic fat piece of shit
anyway. He toke another Drag and thought he saw Kenny in the distance.

"Nah, Kelly? She didnt mean shit to me" Kenny smiled slyly,
Leaning against Ashley Candian's van, Talking to her through her window.
"Why would I go for that dumbass when I've got a hottie like you talkin to me?"
Ashley giggled and looked down blushing. Her brunnete curls fell onto her chest.
It's not like Kenny was lying, Kelly really didnt mean shit to her.
We'll he fucked her.. Twice. But he didnt care about her.
He didnt really care about Ashley either.. But looking at the size of her breasts
he can play along cant he?

"I thought so." She smiled,
"So, Your house tomorow, 9:30?"
"I'll be there" She smiled and started driving off.
Kenny grinned, Couldnt wait to get ahold of a collage chick.

He turned and started walking towards the school, then something caught his eye.
He saw someone smoking against the wall outside of school..
He was too far away he couldnt make out who it was, As he got closer he got a good view.
'Cartman? .. Is that Cartman?'

As he got closer he confirmed it was Cartman.
Kenny walked towards him puzzled.
'Doesnt he have gym at this time?'

Cartman was watching Kenny walk towards him and rolled his
eyes fliccing ash to the ground.
"Shouldnt you be in Gym?" Kenny asked when he got to him.
Cartman shrugged and toke a drag of his ciggerate.
"Skipping?" Kenny raised his eyebrow,
"Guess" Cartman said takeing another drag.

Kenny walked and leaned next to him on the wall,
"I thought you stopped skipping sense your grades became
low as hell"

Cartman shrugged and toke another drag.
"Who was that chick you were talkin too?"
"Oh, Ashley? A friend"
Cartman flicced ash. "Psht. A friend.. Riiiight" he answered sarcastically.
Kenny laughed. His friends knew him so well.

Kenny looked up and down at Cartman and leaned his arm against the wall,
"Guess You got lucky. No new magically appearing bruises today."
Cartman rolled his eyes and toke a drag not responding.

Kenny toke out his own pack, toke out a ciggerate and lit it.
"When does he hitcha?"
Cartman frowned at Kenny,
"Huh?"
"That guy dateing your mom.. When does he hitcha?"

Cartman stod up from against the wall, and faced him,
"Where the fuck did you hear that?!"
Kenny shrugged, "Nowhere. I know this stuff."
"WHAT STUFF?!" his voice became louder.

"You know, Appearing bruises? hah, fucking kiddin me right,
I asked Kyle and he said you dont really go anywhere much
so I figgered it was your dad." Kenny toke a drag of his ciggerate.

Cartman felt his anger rising, He threw his ciggerate to the ground
"You fucking asked Kyle about me?!
What's your problem?! Mind your own God damn buisness!"
Kenny wasent taken back by Cartman's tone.
To be honest this is the most emotion He's seen Cartman show all day.

Kenny flicced his ciggerate and shrugged.
"just somthin I do." he said simply.
Cartman rolled his eyes and looked away.

"When does he hitcha?" Kenny asked again, taking another drag.
Cartman shrugged. Who the fuck cares if he tell's him.
the poor shit already knew anyway.

Cartman's expression undid his frown.
His blank expression returned.
"Almost everynight. My mom doesnt fucking believe me."

Kenny exhaled smoke, "I've been there My friend. Suck's dont it?"
"Oh yeah? What did you do?"
Kenny shrugged, "When I hit 15 I fought the bastard back.
I kicked his ass. Never touched me again."

Cartman looked down, That was no help.
He knew he couldnt beat Rick.
When It came to physical fighting, He knew he would lose.

"When's the wedding?"
Cartman raised his eyebrow,
'How did he hear about that?'
He shrugged, "The day after tomorow."
He figguered Kyle told him.
"Woah.. That sucks."
Cartman looked back down.

"Did ya tell Kyle?" Kenny asked takeing a drag.
Cartman felt himself get angry,
"What the fuck do you care?! WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING NOSY?!"
Again Kenny's face had a calm expression.
He grew used to Cartman's outbursts a long time ago.

"Just watching out for a buddy." he shrugged.
Cartman turned to him, with his eyebrows knotted together,
"I'm not your fucking Buddy! We've never BEEN buddys!"
Kenny shrugged, trying to hide he was a little hurt by the comment.
"We'll whatever the hell we are then. Just tryin to help."

"I dont need your fucking help! I'm fine on my own"
Kenny glared, "fine" he said taking a drag off his cigerate.
Cartman kept his frown and started stalking towards the school doors,

"Cartman!" Kenny called.
Cartman turned to look to him,
"I know we might have not have been that close and shit
but.. If you need anyone.. I'm here. I've been there."
Cartman undid his frown to a blank expression and turned continueing
to walk to the doors,
"And.." Kenny contiunued, Cartman turned to look to him again.
"If You dont want me to tell Kyle.. I wont."
Cartman gave him a tiny smile then turned and went back into the school.


Kyle stalked the hall's after Gym Class.
He wanted to know why his Boyfriend wasent in Gym today.
He marched To Cartman's locker and he wasent there.
"Ugh" he groaned. He hated looking for people.

Kyle walked down that hall, Toke a turn and saw Cartman standing against the
wall looking down. Looking reallly.. sad.
'What the fuck?'
Kyle walked towards him.

"Why werent you in Gym? Or at lunch?"
Cartman didnt even look up to him.
Cartman shrugged.
"You know Mr. Ryler saw you this morning,
He's going to bust your ass for this" Kyle frowned.
Cartman didnt look up from the floor.
"I know."

Kyle raised his eyebrows supprised,
He leaned against the wall next to him,
"Dude.. What's wrong? You've been like this all day."
Cartman shrugged then finnaly looked up to him,
"Nothing" he said plainly.
"No! Tell me!" Kyle felt himself getting angry.
"I just.. I dont feel good." Cartman said.
Which was true.. he didnt feel good..
But more in an emotinal way then physical.

"Oh." Kyle leaned back against the wall.
Cartman felt relief that Kyle bought it.

The bell rang, "I gotta go to science, see you after school?"
Cartman didnt respond, kept looking down.
"Cartman?!"
Cartman jumped, he clearly didnt hear Kyle the first time,
"Oh what?"
"I'll see you after school right?"
"Oh yeah" Cartman looked back down. "Sure."
Kyle couldnt help but feel his heart tug,
He felt like something was really wrong.

"Ok" Kyle said, leaning in to kiss him on the lips.
Cartman didnt notice till Kyle did it, then he slowly kissed back
till Kyle pulled away.
Kyle gave him a puzzled look, then walked away.

'Why did that kiss feel fake?'

Finnaly English. Cartman's last class.
He felt like the day had been dragging on.
For some reason he felt like this was the most
misserable days of his life.. he felt like shit.
He wasent Paying attention to what Mrs. Moore Was saying.
Her words went in one ear and out the other.
He starred to his desk.
He wanted to sink in his seat and disapire.
He couldnt even discribe how bad he was feeling.

He looked to his paper and started writting down random words.
The words just came to him out of nowhere.

ERIC CARTMAN
by:Eric Cartman

He wrote at the top.

"Eric Cartman is a fat pathetic peiece of shit.
He is a fagget who lets older guys touch him.
He is discusting for letting them.
He will burn in hell for being a fag and should.
Rick was right. Eric Cartman is nothing."

He looked down to his paper.
It all seemed so true to him.

All the sudden a sheet of paper was being passed to his desk.
He looked and it was a test.
Fuck, he wasent paying attention!
Cartman then sighed, 'Who cares. I would have gotten a horable
fucking grade anyway beacuse I'm such a fucking dumbass."

"Now, begin" Mrs. Moore announced, and everyone put there pencils
to the test.
Cartman looked at question 1.
"What was shakespeare trying to say when he said,
"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east and Juliet is the sun." In romo and juliet?"

Under the question there was a line to write the answer.
He starred at the question.
"I dont fucking know" he muttered to himself quietly.
'Who the fuck gives a crap what he was trying to say!
no normal person would read this shit anyway!' he thought to himself.

Normally he would just try to get by, guessing the answer.
Atleast Mrs. Moore gave him a few points on each question just to guess.
Istead he wrote.

"I dont care"

The next question.
"What date was Shakespeare born?"
Cartman rolled his eyes.

"Dont know" he wrote down.

He ended up scribbling, 'dont know, and dont care'
On every answer.
Usually he would never do that without how his grades are looking.
But didnt care.
'fail me bitch, see if I care' he thought bitterly to himself.
He was first to get up and put the paper in the bin.
He sat down to his desk and starred down at it.
He still felt fucking horable.

All the guys where at Kyle's locker as he stuffed in his A+ worksheets into
his bag.
"You sure you dont need a ride home?" Stan asked, With Wendy in his arm,
"No its fine. Cartman's bringing me."
Stan glarred. Cartman's always stealing Kyle away from him.
Then the thought of how he was acting today.. was just fucking weird.
He shrugged the thought off, 'he was probably just sick or something' he told himself.
Kenny stod aside from Kyle.

"Alright. Well see ya dude" Stan smiled walking away from Kyle,
With Wendy still in his arm,
"Bye Kyle!" Wendy called out over her shoulder,
"Bye!"

Kenny could tell there was something on Kyle's mind..
He never puts his books in his locker so slow.
"You Ok?" he asked.
Kyle jumped caught off gaurd. He forgot Kenny was standing right next to him.
"Oh, Um, Yeah."
Kyle looked back to his locker, Then sighed.
"Acctually no. Cartman's been acting weird.
Have you noticed?" Kyle cocked his head to Kenny.

Kenny's heart jumped at the question.
"Uh.. No." He lied.
"Huh." Kyle shrugged.
"Maybe it's just me." He decided, still putting books into his bag.
"I dont know.. There's just something diifferent about him."
Kyle said looking into his locker.
Kenny stod there akwardly.
The thought did run through his mind telling Kyle what Cartman said,
But didnt.
Cartman trusted him with telling him that.
"I think Cartman's just sick" Kenny shrugged nervously.
Kyle shut his locker and twisted his combination.
Kyle turned to him, "yeah your probably right."
Kyle began walking then turned around,
"Oh, you need a ride?"
"Nah, Heather's picking me up."
Kyle raised his eyebrow, "heather?
I thought you said you were seeing Ashley tonight?"
Kenny grinned, "Two girls, One night.
How good am I?" He smiled patting his chest with pride.

Kyle laughed and rolled his eyes walking towards the doors.
Kyle walked to Cartman's Car and saw he was already inside.
Kyle smiled to him, and got inside.
Kyle noticed when He smiled at him, he didnt smile back.
He just started the car and started driving.

Silence filled the car.
"So Uh.. I was thinking we could go to a movie tonight?"
Kyle asked. Cartman kept his eyes to the road,
"Its a school night" he said flat.
Kyle scoffed, couldnt believe his ears, "Sense when do you care doing shit
on schoolnights?"
Cartman shrugged and said nothing for a few secounds.
"I cant" he finnaly said.
Kyle felt disapointment go through him.
He looked down then back up to Cartman, "Why?"
Cartman's eyes still locked the road.
"I'm busy." he lied.
Kyle looked back down, "oh."

Another silence went on..
Kyle decided to fill it.

"Oh, dude your mom's getting married the day after tomorow!"
he smiled, hopeing to light the mood.
Cartman closed his eyes and sighed irritated,
'Why did you have to remind me?' he thought.

"Yeah." he said plain.
Kyle was confused, "We'll arent you excited?"
Cartman toke a turn on the street "I'm exstatic" he said sarcastically.

Kyle starred at him then rolled his eyes,
"Cartman, You promised me you'd give Rick a Chance.
He sounds like a really good guy."

"Hah. PSHT." He rolled his eyes out the window.
'If only he knew what a "good guy" he really is' he thought to himself

"Whatever" Cartman said, not wanting to talk about it any longer.
Kyle frowned and crossed his arms. "You promised" he said stiffly.
Cartman glarred. "I know."
Kyle looked out the window.
They didnt say a word the rest of the way to Kyle's house.

Cartman stopped at the front of Kyle's driveway,
Kyle got out without giving him a kiss and walked to his house.
He wanted to show him he was mad at him.
'He fucking promised me to give Rick a chance and he's still being a stuborn
asshole who only cares for himself!'
He thought to himself.

As soon as Kyle slammed the door,
Cartman immediatly roared his car onto the street speeding off.
Kyle glarred watching his car drive away.

Cartman knew Kyle was pissed.
But he didnt Care.
Kyle doesnt fucking know what's going on.
He's not a "Good guy"
Cartman rolled his eyes and turned his 93x music up.

He just had to drive somewhere.. he just had to get away.

WOOHOO!
Done with that chap!
Hope you liked it!

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I know I always say that but
I serriously do!
lol, COMMENT :)
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