The Other Side of the Story: John's Point of View
Interlude 10: You let the Wraith capture her?
When Major Lorne didn't dial in at the expected time for a routine mission to M7G-677 I couldn't help but think 'here we go again'. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination but it seemed that lately Sabina was the one getting into trouble while I was left to react.
"Dial it up," I ordered ten minutes after they'd missed their check in.
"Yes Sir," Chuck punched the symbols quickly but still the time it took to establish a stable wormhole seemed to drag out more than usual.
"Major Lorne this is Colonel Sheppard. Do you read?"
"Oh thank God!" Rodney's vehement relief echoed through the Control Room.
"What's your situation McKay?" I asked quickly.
"About as bad as it can get," Rodney retorted. "The DHD is destroyed beyond fixing so we can't dial out and the Wraith decided to pay us a visit." While we were all trying to absorb that Rodney continued. "That's not the worst of it John."
The fact that he'd called me by my first name reverberated through me ominously.
Something had happened to Sabina.
I didn't hesitate, moving into emergency mode with too much familiarity before Rodney had even given the details.
"We'll be right there," I promised, turning towards the stairs down to the Gateroom. "Organise a medical team," I told Chuck. The temptation was there to question Rodney because the connection was still open but getting to them had to be my first priority and I focussed everything on that.
"Colonel?" Sam appeared from her office before I'd taken more than a couple of steps.
"Lorne's team ran into trouble," I reported rapidly. "I need to ..." I waved a hand towards the Stargate.
"Of course, go," Sam urged. Tapping her earpiece she checked in with the infirmary. "Doctor Keller, how long until your team is ready?"
"We'll be there in a minute," Jennifer's voice wobbled like she was short of breath. When she ran into the Gateroom less than a minute later the reason became obvious. She'd decided to take this one herself. "Doctor McKay, what are we looking at regarding specialised equipment?"
"Ah ...," Rodney's voice shook slightly, "I don't know ... Sabina has puncture wounds and ... and ... there's a slight chance you might need to resuscitate although hopefully it won't come to that."
Puncture wounds ... that sounded bad, as did the resuscitation comment but not as bad as I'd feared. Although the nervousness in Rodney's voice made it clear he wasn't telling us everything.
"Understood," Jennifer tapped her earpiece and ordered someone to bring down a crash cart too.
They'd still need a couple of minutes to get organised so I stepped through the gate instead of waiting for Keller and her team. Lieutenant Parker was standing guard on the other side when I arrived.
"Status?" I asked quickly.
"Doctor McKay is located about ten minutes walk that way," Parker pointed to a path that led up towards the hills.
"Where's Major Lorne?" I frowned in surprise.
"Ah ... I think Doctor McKay should explain Sir," Parker replied evasively.
"Point Doctor Keller in the right direction when she gets here," I ordered. "McKay?" I radioed impatiently, already walking in the direction Parker had indicated.
"You're here," Rodney stated the obvious, never a good sign.
"Yeah, and I'm heading to your position now," I replied. "What's going on? Where's Major Lorne?"
"He's ah ... indisposed at the moment," Rodney reported evasively.
"And Sabina?" I'd avoided asking until then, pretty sure I wasn't gonna like the answer.
"It wasn't my fault," Rodney stated up front, launching into an explanation before I could comment on that. "The Replicators booby trapped the shield device with explosive metal spikes. I'm sorry John ... Sabina took one in the shoulder and another in the chest. She'd already lost a lot of blood when the Wraith showed up ... I had to do something so I ah ... we decided to let the Wraith scoop her and Lorne up in the materialiser."
"You let the Wraith capture her?" I grated out grimly, picking up the pace so I was practically sprinting up the path.
"We couldn't wait!" Rodney protested. "She was ... it was bad and I couldn't think of anything else! Major Lorne picked a spot where I could take cover and shoot down the Dart before it could get away. He had to stay with her so they'd be an attractive target for the Wraith."
"And did you?" I asked impatiently.
"Did I what?" Rodney asked in confusion.
"Did you shoot down the Dart McKay?" I spoke each word with slow precision, like I was talking to a less than intelligent child, which given the stupidity of Rodney's latest plan wasn't that far from the truth.
"Of course," Rodney retorted. "I'm with the crashed Dart now ... the materialiser is showing two life signs all in good order."
"I'll be there in a minute," I replied. "Keller should be a few minutes behind me."
It actually took less than a minute to get to the clearing ... the sight that greeted me had my insides clenching with dread. The Dart looked surprisingly good for a crashed ship, its hull mostly undamaged apart from the scrapes gouged out of the bottom and up the sides ... and the layer of dirt and grass covering the front of it. Rodney was bent over the back where he'd ripped off the covering to get to the guts. Lieutenant Brown stood guard close by, his face carefully blank as he watched my approach.
"McKay," I stopped abruptly a few steps away, not sure what I could do. It wasn't like the situation I'd found Sabina in this time was something I could fix in the usual manner – couldn't shoot at it, outwit it, or just generally smart arse my way out of it. And that wasn't even the worst of it. No, that would be the fact that I couldn't talk to Sabina, couldn't find out how she was really doing, couldn't get her input on how she wanted to fix this.
For the first time that I could recall her fate was entirely in my hands ... the tough, life threatening decisions, if there were any, would be mine to make. Don't get me wrong, I was fine with that and I knew Sabina trusted me implicitly to have her best interests at heart as well as to not let them do anything she was opposed to. I was fine with it ... I just preferred having Sabina's input and for the first time I truly appreciated how much I liked it that way.
"John," Rodney looked beyond relieved to see me ... clearly being the one to make decisions about Sabina's fate was something he couldn't wait to hand over to me.
"You've really outdone yourself this time haven't you," I looked at him grimly before turning my eyes back to the crashed Dart. "What the hell were you thinking using the Wraith like this? Just when I think I can trust you to live up to that genius tag you're so fond of reminding me about you do something so stupid I wonder how you have brains enough to walk and talk at the same time." Rodney opened his mouth as if to defend himself but I was on a roll so I just kept talking. "Did it occur to you that you might not have been able to shoot this thing down? What were you going to do then, huh?! And why the hell did Lorne agree to go along with this? I might have to rethink the whole second in command thing if this is a sample of his intelligence under pressure. What if ...,"
My tirade was interrupted by the sounds of rustling in the trees followed quickly by the arrival of Doctor Keller with Lieutenant Parker in tow carrying her supplies. Another nurse from the infirmary brought up the rear. The expressions on their faces made it obvious they'd heard at least part of my shouting one sided rant at Rodney.
"Colonel, Doctor McKay," Jennifer greeted us with her usual professional tone, looking around the clearing curiously. "Where's my patient?"
"In there," Rodney pointed reluctantly to the Dart.
"You dematerialised Sabina when she was injured?" Jennifer looked at Rodney in horror. "What were you thinking? You know how that can affect even a healthy person!"
"I already had that conversation Doc," I told her, just in case she hadn't heard the whole thing on her way up the path.
"I had no choice," Rodney stood up, crossing his arms resolutely as he prepared to defend his actions. "Sabina was badly injured ... we agreed the Dart was the only choice or ... she wasn't gonna make it long enough to wait for Atlantis to contact us." Rodney looked at me pleadingly as he added "she agreed to this John ... in fact she insisted. If I hadn't come up with this plan she was determined to use herself as bait to lure the Wraith to the surface so Lorne and I could flank him."
"Was she?" I shook my head grimly, not really surprised Sabina would act that way.
"Before we can rematerialise them I need more information about Sabina's injuries," Jennifer insisted. "You mentioned a puncture wound?"
"Ah, two actually," Rodney admitted. "She took a metal spike to the shoulder about here, and another to the chest here," he gestured to the corresponding locations on himself as he explained. "Lorne packed the wounds but she was still losing blood ... plus she was having trouble breathing deeply and she was making a kind of gurgling sound so she might have some sort of lung damage too."
Oh God. That sounded bad ... really bad. Everything felt kind of frozen as I silently stood there listening to Rodney's responses.
"Did Lorne check for signs of shock?" Jennifer queried.
"Yeah," Rodney nodded. "She was fine to start with but just before the Wraith showed up he thought she might be showing signs – she said she was feeling dizzy and sick and ah ... thirsty, she said she was thirsty."
"Hypovolemic shock," Jennifer commented. "Not unexpected given the obvious level of blood loss. How did she seem just before you materialised her? Was she lucid, aware of what was going on around her?"
"Surprisingly yes," Rodney replied, "but she was drifting a bit at the end there. She was in a lot of pain too ... Lorne gave her morphine but it didn't seem to be doing much for her."
"Sabina let Evan give her pain medication?" I heard my own voice speaking but everything felt like it was coming from a great distance, background sounds drowned out by the sudden thumping of my own heart in my ears. I didn't make an active choice to sit down ... I had to because my muscles felt weakened by the anxiety clawing its way over my entire body. Leaning back against the nearest tree I concentrated solely on controlling the panic.
"Colonel?" Jennifer knelt down beside me in concern.
"She hates pain medication," I commented in a low tone, looking up at Jennifer in time to see the understanding dawning in her eyes. If Sabina had willingly taken morphine then it was a given that she was in bad shape ... really, really bad shape.
"We'll fix this," Jennifer said reassuringly. "For now she and Major Lorne are both fine and the good news is that her condition can't deteriorate while she's in the materialiser. We have time to work out the best approach and prepare to treat her the instant she's out of there."
I nodded wordlessly, rubbing hands over my face to shake myself out of it before getting back to my feet. Glancing at the others I grimaced to find myself the focus of all their attention.
"I'm really sorry John," Rodney said miserably. "I should have worked out sooner that the Replicators messed with the shield device."
"You couldn't have known," I acknowledged, everything in my tone letting him know I'd gotten over my earlier anger at his actions. From what I'd just heard he'd saved Sabina's life ... well, given Jennifer the opportunity to save it anyway. That was a battle we still had before us ... don't go there John!
"How do we get them out of there Rodney?" I asked instead.
"I've accessed the subroutine to rematerialise them," Rodney was all purpose now I'd let him off the hook, so to speak. "All I have to do is activate it as soon as Jennifer's got everything set up."
"No," Jennifer held up a hand sternly. "Sabina's condition is likely to be too unstable for me to be able to treat her effectively out here. We need to do it back on Atlantis."
"The Dart won't exactly fit through the Gate you know," Rodney pointed out sarcastically.
"Then you'll have to use that renowned genius to make the parts of it we need fit," Jennifer said firmly.
"Oh easy for you to say!" Rodney retorted incredulously. "Do you have any idea of the level of effort required to dismantle a Dart and then put it back together? Don't even answer that because you couldn't possibly or you wouldn't be asking me to do it so cavalierly!"
"We need to give Sabina the best chance possible which means being back in the infirmary," Jennifer said softly, looking across at me before pinning Rodney with her pleading gaze. "You can do this Rodney."
"I can," Rodney agreed abruptly. "But if I'm gonna do it quickly I need help."
oOo
A tense five hours later we were finally back on Atlantis, the bits of the Dart needed to operate the rematerialiser all put back together like some bizarre jigsaw puzzle. Rodney and Radek had commandeered a small team of workers on M7G-677 ... the buzz of activity around them like some choreographed geek dance. Ronon had come through with Rodney's requested equipment to provide guard duty ... I suspect moral support for me was his major motive, not that he would admit it. I'd spent the whole time pacing around impatiently, trying not to think of all the things I couldn't help but think about. It was like when someone tells you not to look down – of course you're going to just as soon as the words get spoken!
It was hell ... my own private, personal hell.
The only thing that had changed back on Atlantis was the location of my pacing. I knew Sabina could survive indefinitely inside the materialiser so we weren't in a rush to get her and Lorne out. But for myself the slow pace and all the talking about every endless scenario was driving me insane, to the point I had to take a breather or risk hitting something ... or someone.
"Where're you headed?" Ronon fell into step beside me as I strode quickly from the room.
"Nowhere ... anywhere," I returned impatiently, taking random turns and corridors until I felt sufficiently removed from the general population to relax a little. Spying a small balcony just ahead I headed towards it, leaning out against the railing and taking deep, even breaths as soon as I was outside.
"You okay?" Ronon asked from beside me.
"No," I returned shortly. "Rodney must have been desperate to come up with such a crazy solution ... you know he only gets that way when he thinks he's about to die ... or someone else is."
"Keller will fix her," Ronon said with confidence.
"If she survives the rematerialising," I pointed out. God, what was I doing being so pessimistic? The look I was getting from Ronon made it clear he was thinking the same thing. "You're right," I nodded even though Ronon hadn't actually said anything verbally. "Rodney will get Sabina out of the materialiser and then Jennifer will patch her up. It's all the waiting – it's driving me nuts."
"Now you know how Sabina's felt every time it was you lying in the infirmary too out of it to reassure her," Ronon replied.
"That's it," I admitted. "I never realised before today how much I've relied on her always being there to talk to me. Not that she hasn't been unconscious before but not like this, not for so long when I wasn't sure she'd be okay."
"She will be okay John," Ronon reiterated firmly.
"She better be," I didn't need to tell him how I'd be if she wasn't.
Turning back to the ocean we settled into a companionable silence ... that was the good thing about Ronon – he never felt the need to fill up the silences with meaningless chatter.
"Colonel Sheppard," I straightened abruptly when Jennifer's voice issued over the radio.
"Go ahead."
"Rodney says we're as ready as we're gonna be," Jennifer reported. "I assume you want to be here?"
"I'll be right there," I looked over at Ronon after signing off. "You coming too?"
Nodding, Ronon fell into step beside me again, letting me maintain the silence which was a good thing since I had no idea what I'd say should he ask me how I was feeling.
Relieved.
Hopeful.
Nervous.
If I was honest I'd have to add reluctant to that list too ... while she was inside the materialiser Sabina was okay. Outside of it there was no going back should anything go wrong ... part of me wanted to delay the conclusion even though I knew more time wouldn't change it.
Jennifer greeted me with a nod when Ronon and I returned.
"Okay Rodney," she motioned for him to activate the rematerialiser. A clear space had been set up surrounded by medical personnel and equipment. Choosing a spot close by but not in the way I crossed my arms over my chest and waited.
Rodney typed in his commands and the familiar beam shot out of the Wraith device, sweeping from ceiling to floor. It dissipated, depositing its contents in the room. Major Lorne, arm around Sabina who was leaning on him in such a way that I knew she hadn't been able to stand without his aide. Everything was frozen for a second and then Major Lorne reacted, looking around quickly and visibly relaxing when he realised he was back on Atlantis surrounded by every medical advantage needed.
"Sir," he greeted me even as he helped a medic get Sabina on the waiting gurney.
"Major," I replied distractedly, moving closer so I could see Sabina.
When I did all I could think was 'oh God'.
She was too pale and too still ... I think I was actually shaking as I watched Jennifer's controlled movements, praying like hell that Sabina was alive because she sure as hell didn't look it. My eyes were drawn to her wounds, two vicious looking metal spikes sticking out of shoulder and chest, surrounded by so much blood soaked fabric I wondered how she could have still been conscious when the Dart scooped them up.
"She's pale and cold," Jennifer commented as she began assessing Sabina's condition. She attached the blood pressure band and quickly got a reading. "Blood pressure is low too. She's probably already suffering the mid stages of hypovolemic shock. Bronwyn – blood transfusion. She's O neg so we don't need to match after we've used the emergency supplies. Let's start replacing some of what she's lost. Lucy, get her on a 7 percent hypertonic saline drip solution. Once you've got that set up administer alginate and Hextend. If we can increase her arteriole blood flow we should be able to maximise the efficiency of the drip and the transfusion."
Both nurses moved into action, swiftly carrying out Jennifer's orders. I watched, helpless to do anything but hover, probably looking stern and unforgiving rather than what I was feeling – panicked and frankly scared because this was all a lot more serious and confronting than anything I'd experienced before.
Jennifer hooked up a heart monitor next and the sound of Sabina's heartbeat filled the room. I couldn't help the relieved smile that appeared on my face, even though it was much more rapid than I'd been expecting given the circumstances.
"I need to check her wounds," Jennifer carefully lifting the packing from around Sabina's chest wound first. Sabina moaned softly, a pained frown appearing briefly. I leant forward, hoping to see her awake but she remained unconscious.
"She's still bleeding here - we need to establish haemostasis stat," Jennifer turned to one of the nurses. "Bronwyn, start her on r seven."
Things progressed at the same frenetic pace for a few minutes without any visible effect. And then the heart monitor broadcast the change in Sabina's condition, shifting from its worryingly fast rhythm into one long and ominous beep.
"Sabina!" I moved forward instinctively, putting a hand over hers and frantically searching for some sign that she was still there.
"Colonel, move!" Jennifer ordered, pushing me aside so she could begin CPR. One of the nurses shifted the crash cart into position and quickly started it charging for operation while another removed Sabina's oxygen mask and began forcing air into her lungs with the oxygen bag.
"Clear," Jennifer ordered when the machine was ready, placing the paddles on Sabina's chest herself.
Was this how Sabina had felt when she'd watched them shock me with a defibrillator? The sight of her body arching painfully before slumping back to the bed was sickening.
It was worth it though, that one shock enough to get her heart back into action, this time with a rhythm that sounded a little closer to normal.
"She's back," Jennifer removed the paddles and used the stethoscope to listen to Sabina's heart.
"Doc?" My voice croaked as I asked for some kind of update.
"She's holding her own John," Jennifer replied, fitting the oxygen mask back over Sabina's face, "but she's lost a lot of blood. We need to get her to the infirmary asap for another transfusion and then we can get her under the scanner - assess how much damage those spikes have done. Once we start fixing things she'll be able to make use of all the fluids we're pumping into her. I'll let you know as soon as we know more."
Everything was a swirl of activity as Jennifer and part of her team wheeled Sabina away, followed by the rest of them carrying all the medical paraphernalia. The science team followed suit, leaving only Ronon, Rodney and Major Lorne behind.
Staring stupidly at the spot where they'd been I jumped when Rodney put a hesitant hand on my shoulder.
"She'll be all right," he said softly. Major Lorne moved to stand next to Rodney, adding his own nod of agreement.
"I'm really sorry Sir," Lorne began before I cut him off.
"Rodney told me the details Major," I said. "There wasn't anything you could have done to prevent this and it sounds like using the Wraith gave us the time we need to save Sabina."
"Thank you Sir," Lorne replied, his whole demeanour still broadcasting how tense and worried he was. Not just because he'd always take responsibility for any person under his command getting hurt, but also because he and Sabina had forged a strong friendship in the years since she'd joined his team.
"I need to ...," I gestured to the doorway and the direction the medical team had gone. I knew I wouldn't be able to see her, probably not for hours, but I couldn't be anywhere else.
"I'll go with you," Ronon had been silent during the whole thing. Now he moved to stand beside me again, as ever the solid support that never demanded any kind of response in return.
"We'll all go," Rodney announced, motioning for me to get moving.
Authors Note:
I'm not a doctor so apologies if my emergency care dialogue and treatment is off. I did research it all of course - my information on treating for blood loss came from an article titled "Treatment For Severe Blood Loss: Less Is More" released in ScienceDaily (May 13, 2008) on www dot sciencedaily dot com. r seven (rVIIa) refers to Recombinant factor VIIa, a universal agent to reverse or prevent haemostatic failure – from the Critical Care forum on ccforum dot com. Some of the things I used aren't approved/standard treatments but I liked the sound of them and decided on Atlantis they'd have up to the minute information on the best methods. Other haemostasis information and details on medical shock came from Wikipedia. Re the O neg comment and emergency supplies, in Australia anyway all ambulances only carry O neg blood because it takes too long to type match and O neg is the universal doner so every person can be transfused with minimal risk. I know this because I'm O neg and was told when I went to donate blood. The only thing I couldn't really confirm was whether they'd use the defibrillator in this type of situation - so apologies if that's off.
Oh and just an aside to anyone who remembers season five (don't read this if you haven't seen season 5) - I wrote this and did all the research before Identity - so imagine my amusement when Radek suffered pretty much exactly the same situation I'd put Sabina into. I didn't look at that scene too closely as there was no way I was changing this after I'd worked so hard researching and writing it.
Also apologies to my loyal reviewers for no replies tonight - I'll get to them but thought you'd prefer a chapter instead.
Next Up? Fortunate Journey Season 4 Chapter 40