Chapter 44: Don't you think it's time?
As soon as Jennifer cleared me to begin working myself back to complete fitness I resolved to do it as quickly as possible. Of course I wanted to get back to full duty but I also wanted John to stop treating me like a delicate piece of glass too. At first it had comforted me but as I improved I began to see it as John no longer relaxed and comfortable in my presence, almost scared that something would happen to me. I'm not sure he even realised he was doing it and I didn't want to confront him verbally because the image of how upset he'd been when I'd regained consciousness was still too vivid in my mind. No, I decided the best way to convince him I was back to my old self was to prove it.
Teyla had conceded soon after her pregnancy had really started to show that she couldn't lead sparring sessions anymore which meant my choices to get back to speed there were John, Ronon or Major Lorne. John was out of the question because I'd already asked him a few times and he'd put me off with a vague promise that he'd help me when I was 'better'. Ronon knew more about coming back from injury than Evan so I decided to try him first ... finding him practising alone in the gym seemed like a good sign.
"Can I interrupt?" I asked him from the doorway.
"Sure," he held the fighting stick he'd been swinging in both hands behind his back, using it to stretch his shoulders and back.
"I was wondering if you'd have some time to spar with me," I began. "Just beginner level to start with ... maybe once a day?"
"Jennifer cleared you?" Ronon asked.
"Of course," I agreed easily. "You know I usually train with Teyla but obviously that's not an option right now so it was either you or John and he's being a bit ... stubborn in noticing that I'm pretty much back to normal now."
"And you want to show him with sparring?" Ronon deduced.
"Something like that," I admitted. "So will you help?"
"Okay," Ronon agreed easily. "When do you want to start?"
"How about right now?" I suggested hopefully.
Ronon lobbed the fighting stick to me with a grin, nodding approvingly when I caught it easily.
oOo
I worked hard over the next two weeks to get back up to speed physically, pushing myself enough that Jennifer admonished me more than once not to rush my recovery.
John had relented on one front, not commenting the first morning I'd rejoined him for our morning run or any other morning after that. Along with a daily session with Ronon it wasn't long before I could stop pretending not to be tired at the end of the day. Even though John could see I was fit again he still seemed to be holding back with me ... in all areas. So I took matters into my own hands, issuing him an invitation to meet me in the gym one evening six weeks after my injury.
I'd been pacing the sparring room for a few minutes before he finally showed up with a puzzled look, holding up the note I'd left him.
"I got your invitation," he held up the paper curiously. "Kind of a strange place for dinner isn't it?"
"I wanted to show you something first," I said resolutely. Walking to my bag I removed two sets of fighting sticks. Approaching him silently I held out his set, waiting for him to react.
"You want to spar?" he looked from the sticks in my hand to my eyes with a blank expression.
"Don't you think it's time?" I asked gently. "You don't seem to have noticed that I'm all better now ... I couldn't think of any other way to show you."
"You've been practising," John deduced. "Who with?"
"Ronon," I admitted. "And before you get annoyed remember that I asked you first. You seemed to be waiting for some kind of announcement from on high that I was up to it and I got tired of waiting."
"You don't have to spar with me to prove yourself," John took his sticks and turned back to where I'd left my bag. "I jog with you every morning – I've noticed you're back to giving me a run for my money."
"Being fit enough to exercise is different from being fit enough to do my job off world," I pointed out, When he went to put his sticks away I slotted one of my sticks underneath, locking my arm so even if he pushed it he wouldn't be able to finish. "Don't," I said firmly.
"What do you want from me?" John asked with an impatient frown. "You're better – I believe you."
"Then prove it," I said heatedly, grabbing his sticks and pushing them into his chest. "We used to spar all the time – this shouldn't be any different. Or are you worried I'm gonna beat you? I have had two weeks of special one on one training with Ronon after all."
"I think I'm safe," John said with a laugh. "You're not going to dare me into this."
"Fine, then how about a wager?" I suggested in exasperation. I'd been standing close but I took a step forward and pressed every part of me that I could against him. "We spar ... if I can hold my own I win and you start treating me like a real person again instead of like I'm gonna break any second."
"I don't do that!" John said in surprise.
"Yeah, you do," I disagreed. "I understand why but ... I'm about to be cleared to go off world and I can't do that knowing you're still so worried about me. Take the wager – let me prove you don't have to worry anymore."
"And if I win?" John asked curiously. "What happens then?"
"I won't go back to full duty until you're ready," I offered reluctantly.
"Wow," John's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You must be feeling confident."
"Ronon thinks I can take you," I said with a teasing grin.
"Let's find out," John gave in suddenly, unzipping his jacket and throwing it on the bench. Grabbing his sticks he swung them a few times as he walked back to the centre of the room.
He let me take the lead, still underestimating me. I punished him for it, using a new frontal attacking sequence Ronon had taught me. John was fast, dodging quickly as he shifted his sticks to block mine but I still managed to get one stick past his guard.
"Ouch!" John danced back, putting a hand to his shoulder and rubbing it with a pained expression.
"I'll kiss it better later," I promised unrepentantly, raising my sticks and waiting for him to attack.
We settled into a familiar dance of advance and defence, neither of us gaining any ground on the other. John was grinning after about ten minutes and I knew I'd won, regardless of the final outcome. At last he'd remembered what it was like to do this, how well matched we were and how much sheer pleasure there was in pitting ourselves against each other.
"Are you ready to concede?" I asked him smugly, breathing just a little harder than usual.
"No way," John rushed forward suddenly, locking sticks as he shifted us both towards one end of the room. Leaning in with me pinned between him and the wall he grinned again. "How about you?"
"I'm not beaten yet," I promised, pressing myself fully against him and going up on tiptoes. Ignoring the sticks pressing into my chest I kissed him, putting as much heat into it as I could. I felt his attention shift, felt him lower his guard. Grinning against his lips I pushed forward and then rotated until I had his back against the wall instead.
"Fighting dirty huh?" John looked down at me in amusement. "Two can play at that game."
He wrenched the sticks from my hands abruptly and threw them to the floor. His followed a second later and then his hands were in my hair pulling me up to his lips before I could blink.
Finally! My insides leapt with excitement as I received the first roughly passionate kiss followed quickly by another. This was what had been missing since I'd recovered enough to be engaged in intimate activities – John letting go of that formidable control and just existing with me in the moment.
"Is this ...?" Breaking away John looked at me with concern.
"God yes!" I pulled him back to me impatiently. "Don't stop. Just, you know – lock the door first!"
"Yes Ma'am," John glanced at the doors with an intent expression.
Then he took me at my word, getting us naked and sweaty and meshed together in every sense with that same rough passion. Once we'd travelled the familiar path and made it to the other side I lay slumped contentedly against him, thinking that now my world really was back to the way it should be.
oOo
"Feel like a trading mission to see Flora and Mardola?" Rodney asked John hopefully at breakfast the next morning.
"We had a late night," John offered, looking at me with a secretive twinkle in his eye. "I'll pass. Take Lorne – he always enjoys catching up with Flora."
"Fine but remember what you're missing out on," Rodney returned. "They always treat us like royalty."
"I've got plenty here to keep me entertained," John said complacently. "Go, enjoy yourself. But don't mess up our trading agreements!"
"As if I would!" Rodney protested irritably. "I'll see you when we get back. Sabina."
Nodding a goodbye to both of us Rodney headed off to find Major Lorne.
"I take it he's given up on Katie then," I commented quietly.
"Or she gave up on him," John replied. "Rodney said things have been very strained and he's not sure what to make of it. I guess it's easier for him to think about someone new than to try and work out what Katie's thinking."
"Maybe she really isn't the right one for him then," I concluded. "Wouldn't he be happy being himself instead of hiding his 'Rodney' traits – if he was with the right person I mean?"
"I'd hope so," John agreed.
"I really thought Katie did appreciate Rodney for who he is," I offered with a puzzled frown. "I don't think he was as different around her as he seems to think."
"Maybe Rodney can't see that right now," John suggested. As I nodded thoughtfully, he looked at me expectantly. "What do you have planned for today?"
"Rodney gave me a couple of Ancient devices from the lab you found a few missions ago," I replied. "He wants me to see if I can find them in the database, work out what they do. It's a pretty simple task but a good way to get back into the ATA side of things. I mean, I did do that thing with the extending walkway and convincing Atlantis to let me out but I could still do with the practice. I feel like it's been month instead of weeks since I did anything real like that."
"Never hurts," John returned. "You know, you never explained exactly how you managed to do that."
"That's because I'm not really sure," I replied with a frown. "I just kind of let myself be open to the systems, imagined that the walkway wouldn't be a risk because the quarantine at that bulkhead had already been compromised and then thought lots of pleading thoughts at the city to let me go over there."
"And it did," John concluded before redirecting the conversation. "You're not planning on trying out the Hologram room?"
"Still haven't worked out what I'd say if I actually do make contact with an Ascended Ancient," I shrugged casually. "It's not like we need something like that right now. Anyway, speaking of practice we should probably find time to do some. There've been a couple of times now where directly accessing the Ancient systems for mental communication came in handy. We should work on strengthening your ability to respond so we can get the most out of it."
"Yeah, okay," John agreed thoughtfully. "Not today though. Sam's been at me to finish my midyear staff evaluations. With Rodney off world I might actually be able to make some progress."
"No marking everyone the same?" I reminisced fondly.
"Ah ... not this time," John smiled with just a hint of sadness, both of us thinking of Elizabeth and how annoyed she'd gotten when John had given everyone excellent and above average ratings last year.
"All right, well I'll leave you to it," I rose, leaning down to press a quick kiss to his lips. "See you at lunch."
oOo
Major Lorne radioed in a couple of hours after he and Rodney had left to request an extension on their mission. The royal princesses had asked for their help with a quest and Evan hadn't seen any reason to refuse. They'd be back sometime the following day which meant my triumphant return to off world duty was delayed for another day.
The following night I joined John and the others, including Major Lorne for dinner just in time to hear Rodney recounting the highlights from their mission. He'd actually managed to win over the thirteen year old Princess Manipulative Brat (his words) aka Harmony with his bravery. He did admit that all he'd done was accidently protect Harmony from a Genii attack and then restore their Ancient mini drone device to operation. Apparently Harmony had been very impressed and started making noises about alliances and securing the royal line. Rodney couldn't wait to get out of there after that.
When I asked Evan what impression he'd made he looked across at Rodney with resignation, letting him field the question.
"The Princess had a major crush to start with, no pun intended," Rodney took delight in sharing. "It all went downhill at the end though when Evan activated their drone device, including reinitialising the royal pendant that proves who's next in line for the throne. Harmony was pissed at him after that – threatened to hang him for treason. It was actually rather amusing."
"So you've said," Lorne returned tiredly, "a number of times. What are the chances of you forgetting about this one?"
"You're kidding right?!" Rodney chortled. "The geek actually got the girl ... admittedly a thirteen year old brat, but it still counts."
"You're not exactly a geek these days Rodney," I pointed out. "No coke bottle glasses or protractor and pens in your top pocket. You carry a gun! Maybe it's not that the geeks won the day but that you've switched sides."
"Don't even think like that!" Rodney retorted, giving every appearance of being offended I'd tagged him a goon instead of a geek. Everyone else must have thought it was funny because his reaction just made them all laugh harder.
"Thanks," Evan muttered to me when the laughter had died down a little.
"You're welcome," I smiled, happy to have completed some successful Rodney teasing and that John had dodged a difficult mission for a change.
Authors Note:
I know what you're thinking ...what a cop out!!! I know ... I hated to have that little Princess being mean to Lorne but ... I hated it even more that she was so mean to Sheppard in the actual episode. That was my opinion anyway - I know they were trying to give Rodney a chance to shine but I never thought John did enough at the end to warrant such a 180 from Harmony. I mean look at him - he's an adolescent girls dream Prince!!! Plus John wouldn't have gone there anyway - in the episode he and Rodney only visited because they thought those princesses were hot. With Sabina in the picture John just wouldn't do that ... this was the only way I could come up with to redress those issues.
Next Up? Fortunate Journey Season 4 Chapter 45 ... FINALLY - the beginning of Outcast!