Gwaine rang Arthur the next morning, to find out how the date had gone. Arthur admitted he had no idea. He asked the brunette what Merlin's hang up was, was it just him or did Merlin have some sort of issues. Gwaine admitted that Merlin was lacking in self confidence, something that Arthur found hard to believe. Gwaine also said that Merlin had been let down badly in the past so was frightened of committing himself.
Gwaine went straight round to see Merlin to find out just what was going on. Merlin answered the door and let Gwaine in. "Will's feeling better today, he's just having a shower."
"Good then I can have a word with you; just what the hell are you playing at Merlin." Gwaine glared at him "Arthur's a nice guy and he fancies you something rotten. Stop treating him like shit, either go out properly or tell him to piss off once and for all. I know you like him so don't mess this up." Gwaine was cross with his friend.
"Oi, don't get on at me, I know you've been trying to set me up. I've told you before Gwaine butt out. You know my reasons just leave me alone."
"Yes I know your reasons, and the way you're going on you'll never find anyone. Put the past behind you and move on. Now I want you to call Arthur and meet up, and tell him why you're treating him like you are. Then like I said either go out with him or not. But I don't want you to carry on like you are. You're both my friends, Christ you're like a brother to me, so please think what you're doing."
Merlin looked at Gwaine and before he had time to say anything Will walked in and entered the conversation. "I agree you idiot, I don't particularly like the tosser, but you need to sort your life out mate. We both love you but I want you to have a life and fun."
Merlin looked at both of them and then did something neither of them expected. He sat down with a thump in the chair and put his head in his hands "I don't know what to do guys. I'm scared ok… I just can't take it happening again…..but why would Arthur want someone like me?"
"Are you blind Merlin, I don't fancy you but you're a good looking guy, you're fun and friendly and great to be with." Gwaine sat down beside Merlin. "The Princess wouldn't have kept trying for so long if all he wanted was to get in your pants. He can get that whenever he wants it. You've got a problem Merlin and you are letting it ruin your life, you owe to Arthur to be honest."
"I have to agree Merl, Arthur's never had problems pulling, he likes you." Will joined in "Now go and phone him and let me get my breakfast."
Merlin walked into his bedroom and sat and did some serious thinking. He might be an idiot but he wasn't usually unkind, and he knew he had been yesterday. He pulled out his phone and rang Arthur.
After four rings Arthur answered, before he could change his mind Merlin spoke. "Hi Arthur it's me Merlin, Look I think I need to talk with you, I need to explain something can we meet up?"
Arthur was surprised, he wasn't sure if Merlin would speak to him after yesterday. "Yes of course where do you want to meet, your place?"
"No Wills here and I'd like to speak privately." Merlin was hesitant; he was beginning to get butterflies.
"Come over here if you like, we wouldn't be disturbed. I could come and pick you up." Arthur was trying to be as cool as possible, was he at last going to get to know the real Merlin.
"No that's alright, text your address and I'll come over, will now be ok?" better to get it over with he thought.
"Great see you soon." Arthur texted his address and then tidied up and had a shower while he was waiting.
Merlin looked at the address and frowned. He walked out into the lounge and went on the computer. "He's been lying to me!" Merlin said to himself.
"What's that Merls?" came Wills voice from the kitchen.
"Arthur he doesn't live anywhere near here, all the times we've shared a taxi he's been lying." Merlin was puzzled.
"That's because he doesn't like you using the underground at night you twit." Gwaine replied. "He worries about you. I told you he cares."
"I'm off you two, be back later." Merlin went to the door. Gwaine came out of the kitchen.
"I'll walk down with you, I'm off home." As they left the flat Gwaine looked at his friend "Just be honest ok, Arthur will understand and if he doesn't you'll know he's not the one for you." he squeezed Merlin's shoulder. "I'll catch up later. Come round after if you need to talk."
Once outside they went their separate ways, Merlin headed to the underground and in twenty minutes was outside Arthur's door. He was surprised when he had to go through a locked gate to get to the door of the flats and even more surprised to be told by the doorman that Arthur's flat was the Penthouse Suite. He nervously rang the bell.
Arthur answered he was dressed in a pair of tan slacks and a red shirt and looked wonderful. Once more Merlin wondered what the other man could see in him. Arthur opened the door wide and waved Merlin in.
"Welcome to my home. Take a seat and I'll make you a drink, what would you like?"
"Tea please." Merlin looked round he was defiantly out of his class. The place was fantastic, like something out of a magazine with a huge picture window overlooking the city. The sitting room was bigger than Will's entire flat. Arthur came back and put a tray on the coffee table. He sat on a chair opposite Merlin.
"Thank you for seeing me." Merlin started "I have some explaining to do and I'd like to do it, and then you can ask me anything afterwards, if you want."
Arthur could see Merlin was anxious. "Merlin you don't have to tell me anything its ok." he said gently.
"I do, I really do." Merlin looked down at his hands and started to bit his lower lip. Without looking up he started.
"Gwaine says I have problems and he's right, he also said I need to deal with them and that's it's only fair you know." He swallowed and without looking up started to speak. "When I came out to Mum she was great, but we lived in a small welsh village so I hid myself away and got on with my work. Once I started college Gwaine and Will guessed, but they were fine with it, they kept me sane. Then when I started University I thought it would be better I started seeing someone but it was hell. We were tormented and beaten up a couple of times so we broke up. We never even got past the kissing stage. In the second term I went out with another guy, he seemed great very kind and thoughtful. So I went out on a date, after a few drinks he started to make out, he wanted to go all the way and I wouldn't…..I had to fight him off. It was horrid. He spread all sorts of stories saying I couldn't have sex because I had HIV. Loads of the students believed him. So I decided that was it no more dating I had a good circle of friends and they helped me a lot. I worked hard and got good grades. After we'd all finished I looked around Oxford for a job. By then Gwaine, Will and the others had left it was just me and Freya. We shared a flat and Freya was having problems with a bloke… No one else knows what I am going to tell you now I've never told anyone….. I told him to keep of her, he said he would if I let him fuck me, he wanted to know what it was like. I kicked him where it hurt, he left but his mates came looking….."
Merlin picked up his tea and had a drink.
"You don't need to tell me all this Merlin." Arthur said to him
Merlin ignored him. "Two of his mates caught up with me one evening, one of them was the boy who told everyone I had AIDS. I thought they were going to rape me…they didn't, but they told me I had to give them blow jobs. They told me that I had to learn to keep out of their mates business. They also that if I went out with guys I had to pay for the privilege, and so they were letting me practice….. instead of having a beating, they were being kind to me. He was the first one they grabbed me and forced me on my knees….I bit him as hard as I could. They started to beat me up, but a police patrol came along and saved me."
"Then Freay got a job in London and Will put me on to the job with your sister. When I got to London I started dating again, after all this was London. But every date I had, wanted more than I did, it seemed normal just to jump into bed after the first date. I soon realised why you and Gwaine went out with me to the nightclub that time. I went with some friends a couple of times and I seemed to attract the same sort of people, they saw me as some sort of toy. I even went to the toilet once and had two men try to make me give them a blow job. I went out with a couple more guys, but once I'd gone out with them and had a meal or day out I seemed to be expected to pay up even if we went Dutch. I found someone who I thought cared, he got jealous and possessive. He told me he'd wait till I was ready but that ….." Merlin started wringing his hands together "he was going to be my first and he was going to fuck me raw. He said I was his twink and no one else's that I'd never be good enough looking to be anything but a twink." Merlin looked up at that point. "Thank you for chasing him off by the way. I'm a fairly strong character I thought I was ok but maybe Gwaine's right perhaps I'm letting a few guys ruin my life. I can fight for everyone else, but I'm not so good at looking after myself, not when it comes to my sex life anyway."
"You're welcome I wish I'd done more now." Arthur was shocked at what he was hearing. Yes he'd slept around but he'd never made anyone do what they weren't comfortable with.
"So now you know, I still can't think why a gorgeous guy like you would want to go out with me, and I suppose I thought you must be the same as the rest. I'm sorry. I guess I'm too screwed up to be a good date. I'm no where good enough for you, anyway, you're way out of my league. I guess Will's right I need to start enjoying life I just need to get rid of the idea of monogamy. It obviously doesn't work if you're a gay guy."
Merlin didn't even realise he had a single tear running down his face. Arthur stood up and walked over and sat next to Merlin. He rubbed this thumb across Merlin's cheek wiping away the tear. The he gently pulled Merlin into his arms.
"I'm sorry Merlin, I'm sorry you've had to go through all that. No one has the right to take more than you're willing to give. I admit I've has sex with more men than I care to remember, but I have never expected anything other than what they wanted to share. I think it's wonderful that you want a monogamous relationship, and have had the guts to stick out for it. As for not being good enough looking, I think you the most beautiful man I have ever met."
Arthur held onto Merlin until the other man settled. The he opened his arms and released him.
"So you see when you keep paying for everything, I wonder if you'll want paying back. I should judge you like that but I'll admit I'm scared…. scared of getting into another situation."
"Merlin you need never be scared of me. Ever! If you'll go out with me we can go as slow as you like. I promise never to push you to do anything, until you're comfortable. But I would like to see you again." Arthur was very sincere and Merlin could hear it in his voice.
"But Arthur you're out of my league, look at this place, you can do far better than me."
"Merlin, I have this place because my mother left me a fortune that's all, it means nothing without someone to share it with. You are the first date who has ever seen this place, and I hope the last. Now I'm making you a fresh tea and let you settle down before we decide where were going on out next date."
Merlin agreed to go on another date, and to start out afresh, but on condition he paid sometimes. So they decided to go out and get lunch, they grabbed a sandwich before they went out on the water once more. But this time they went on a cruise down the river to Hampton Court where they went in the maze and got lost for a couple of hours before heading back to London and a meal at a Japanese restaurant. Something Arthur had never been to before. This date had ended better than the first, although Arthur felt uncomfortable with Merlin paying. He was by far the one with the most money. But if that's what it took to keep Merlin happy then he could cope with that. He remembered Merlin's comment about being bought and decided he need to work on that comment.
As they left the restaurant they went for a short walk along the Thames Embankment in the moonlight, and Arthur risked putting his arm round Merlin's waist as they walked. After half an hour they caught a taxi back together. This time Arthur walked Merlin to his door and went to kiss Merlin on the cheek to his surprise Merlin moved his head and kissed Arthur on the lips. Arthur pulled Merlin closer with one hand round Merlin's waist and used his other hand to pull Merlin's head closer into the kiss. The kiss deepened until Merlin pulled back.
"Thank you Arthur I enjoyed tonight." He was blushing from the kiss. "I think I best go in." He then pecked Arthur on the cheek. As he turned to go in Arthur spoke out not wanting to leave.
"Can we meet tomorrow?" he looked into Merlin's eyes and saw indecision
"Please Merlin I don't want to wait till next week. I'll cook you a meal after work."
"Now that I've got to see, the Great Arthur Pendragon in an apron!" Merlin grinned "Thank you what time?"
"Come round straight after work. Shall I pick you up?" Arthur asked.
"As I've said before Arthur, I'm not a girl. See you then and thank you." with that he walk indoors and closed the door.
Arthur was on cloud nine as he went home. He set the alarm clock before he went to bed. He would need to go shopping in the morning before he went to work. Arthur was up at the crack of dawn and went shopping coming back with all the things needed to make the one meal he knew he cooked well. It was more difficult as he knew Merlin was a vegetarian. So it was a creamy cheese and mushroom pasta, he normally put bacon in it but would just leave that out. He bought a strawberry cheesecake from a deli to finish and a couple of bottles of good wine.
That evening he managed to finish work a bit early, and he had got everything ready to cook and was reading the paper when Merlin rang the bell. Arthur found he was nervous. He opened the door and invited Merlin in, kissing the other mans cheek as he did so. Merlin self consciously held out a bottle of wine, he knew it wouldn't be what Arthur was used to.
"Come in, I'll give you the tour after all you never had one yesterday, then we can sit and talk for a bit." Arthur took Merlin's coat and hung it up. They found they were now more comfortable with each other; Merlin's confession had cleared the air. Arthur decided to tell Merlin about his father and the latest female he was trying to set Arthur up with, and how he was still trying to get him to get over being gay. Merlin realised he was very lucky with his mother. By the time Arthur had cooked and they had eaten they were very relaxed.
Merlin was sat in one of the sofa's when Arthur came back with some more wine. He sat beside Merlin and put his arm across the back of the chair behind Merlin's neck. He was being very careful to let Merlin lead, but after the kiss last night, he hoped he might get another.