Chapter 47: I suppose I could review the file for you

Up on the Apollo it was all action as John and Ronon prepared to storm Stanton Research and grab Ava's mentor and all the data files about the Replicator. They didn't even change, just went back down there in the same clothes they'd worn for the wake. There wasn't really anything for me to do except watch and wait for them to get back.

It didn't take long ... only minutes after they'd beamed down to the research facility they were back with a reluctant and protesting Richard Poole in custody.

"What now?" I asked John, standing just inside the doorway of the area where he, Ronon and Ava were meeting.

"Now we get Poole to give us the codes to unlock his data files so we can track the Replicator," John announced.

"You think he'll do that voluntarily?" I queried sceptically.

"Probably not," John admitted, "which is why the SGC recalled Doctor Lee from vacation."

"Poor him," I commented, feeling genuinely sorry for Bill. When it looked like John was going to return to discussions with Ava I put a hand on his arm to hold him back. "Listen, there's nothing I can do to help with this search, right?"

"Not really. I could get them to beam you back to the hotel," John offered. "I don't know how long it'll take us to finish this so you might be waiting a while."

"I could use the time to do a little digging of my own," I suggested, looking at him almost pleadingly. "Who knows when I'm gonna get another chance to be back here like this."

"You want to go check out that address Rodney gave you?" John offered.

"You brought the note with you?" I asked in surprise, only continuing when he nodded his assent. "I don't think I'm ready for that but ... I could use the time to look into my adoption records. We've got the hire car," I pointed out. "I could drive to Washington and be back before you have a chance to miss me."

"It's an eight hour drive from Richmond to Washington," John pointed out. "I'll get the Apollo to beam you closer in the morning."

"What, car and all?" I asked in surprise.

"Size matters not," John quipped his Yoda impersonation with a grin. "I'll go speak to Colonel Ellis."

"Thanks John," I hugged him quickly and then let him go.

"Go get some sleep," John urged. "I'll be with you in an hour or so."

Knowing he'd convince the Colonel to help me out I rushed off to the quarters we'd been assigned to organise my gear, mind churning so much it was hard to get to sleep. John eventually arrived and finally, with his arms around me close in the darkness, did I let my mind rest, hoping my presence was doing the same for him.

I hadn't forgotten what we were there for ... my concern over John and how he was handling his grief ever present. But he was completely focused on the Replicator problem, maybe using it to distract himself or just as likely purposefully pushing it to the background so he could do his job. I had to respect that so for the moment I let everything else settle into the background too, to be dealt with again once the current concerns were resolved.

oOo

The Apollo beamed me down to the hotel first the next morning so I could pick up the rest of our things - we'd spent only the time it took to register there before heading to the funeral the previous day and no time since then so it was no wonder the clerk at the desk gave me a strange look when I checked us out.

John and Ronon were also heading out that morning to search for the Replicator in the square of buildings and warehouses that Doctor Lee had identified as it's location. Sitting in the rental car a few miles out from the hotel I waited for them to beam me across three states in the blink of an eye, without anyone bearing witness. It was a little freaky I'll admit but also kind of cool to be sitting in the driver's seat in Kentucky one second and then be in Washington D.C. the next. Grinning to myself I put the car into gear and pulled out onto the road, heading into the city.

My first stop would be to check out the legal firm that had handled my adoption. If I could find out what I needed without having to resort to Rodney's note – meaning a possible confrontation with people I wasn't sure I even wanted to meet – then all the better.

An hour later I arrived at the law offices where Roger Scott had practiced law twenty years before. Scott and Sloan Associates. It was still there, a fact that thrilled me on the most basic level. Roger would have been happy to see the firm he'd help create still going strong three decades later.

Walking into reception I looked around curiously, hoping it would seem familiar. Of course after so long the place had probably gone through more than one revamp and looked modern and nothing like I remembered. Noticing a plaque on the wall near the door I moved over to have a quick look, delaying that moment when I'd have to start explaining what I was doing there.

"In remembrance of Roger John Scott, co founder and friend." It was dated just a few months after the accident. I stood for a moment just staring at the words, memories bubbling to the surface along with a sheen of tears.

'Sabina?" a male voice asked hesitantly from behind me.

Quickly wiping my eyes I turned around with a forced smile that turned instantly genuine when I realised who'd called my name. He was in his late fifties with the requisite greying hair and slight paunch but his blue eyes still twinkled as I remembered them.

"Mr Sloan," I took the hand he held out and shook it firmly. "I can't believe you recognised me after so long!"

"There's still enough of that little girl in you, the one who used to treat this office like her own personal play house," Jason Sloan returned fondly. "I'm sorry I lost track of you after the accident."

"It's okay," I dismissed lightly.

"It's not," Jason replied firmly. "I don't know if they ever told you but I tried to get them to release you into my custody. At the time a single male with no child rearing experience was low down on the list of suitable foster parents."

"They didn't tell me," I admitted sadly. "I'm sorry I never kept in touch Mr Sloan. It was ... tough the first few years. I ah ... this place held a lot of memories I couldn't handle at the time."

"Please, call me Jason," he invited, looking at me with a curious expression. "What brings you back here now?"

"I was hoping you'd be able to help me with something," I explained.

"Come back to my office," Jason invited, putting a hand under my arm to guide me down the corridor.

"This place has changed so much," I commented, looking around his office with interest. Noticing the family portrait picture on his desk I smiled. "You finally settled down?"

"You still remember how your Dad used to tease me about that?" Jason asked in surprise.

"Of course," I smiled. "That along with all the other things you used to rib each other about."

"He was a great friend," Jason said softly. "The best I'll ever have."

"I appreciate the plaque," I smiled a bit tearfully. "I know he would have too, especially after all this time."

"You don't forget friends like Roger," Jason said simply. "Now tell me, what can I help you with?"

"I need to see my adoption record," I launched straight in without laying any ground work.

"If you're looking to find your natural parents I'm not sure the file will help," Jason replied. "I handled the details for your parents and while I can't remember the specifics I know an extensive search was done before the adoption went through. They didn't find much – certainly not enough to chase your biological parents up for legal action."

"Can I look at the file?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm sorry Sabina," Jason said apologetically. "The adoption was registered here which means the only way for you to gain access is through a court order."

"But there weren't any birth parents around to insist on a closed adoption," I said incredulously. "Who are we protecting?"

"There might not be specifics but something in that file could lead you to them just the same," Jason explained.

"They abandoned me!" I said, starting to feel angry, "and they're the ones that get the protection? How is that fair?"

"It's not," Jason said simply. "But it is the law and I can't go against that. I'm sorry."

"Could you look at it then?" I persisted. "All I want to know is if there's anything in the file worth following up. If there is I can do the whole court order thing."

"I suppose I could review the file for you," Jason agreed thoughtfully. "That far back the files would probably be buried deep in basement storage but I can get someone to go down there, search it out ... I should have something for you within a couple of days. Where are you staying?"

"I haven't picked anywhere yet," I replied without thinking, getting a frown when he realised my first stop had been his office. "I'll check in with you tomorrow and let you know where you can contact me."

"We have a spare room," Jason began before I held up a hand.

"That's very generous but I 'm not planning on staying that long," I said evasively, hardly able to tell him that actually I already had a room up on an orbiting space ship.

"Will you at least be stopping by the cemetery?" Jason raised an eyebrow when I grimaced at the thought.

"I should, I know," I acknowledged, standing and moving over to look out his window. "They're not there though ... I used to go when the first foster parents let me but ... it was hard enough to hold on to their images in my head without putting those headstones in there as well."

"They loved you, you know," Jason came over and put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I know," I agreed.

"They were so happy when you came along and gave them a chance to be parents," Jason continued. "Without you they would never have experienced that. Gwen was just as giddy as any mother when they were preparing to bring you home from the hospital. They never regretted making a place for you into their lives."

"Thank you," I kept my eyes firmly fixed on the view so I wouldn't have to look at him and let him see that even after all this time thoughts of Gwen and Roger could still bring me to tears. He let me compose myself in companionable silence, understanding without me needing to say anything.

Sighing softly I turned to him with a grateful smile. "I should let you get back to work." Stopping by his desk I carefully wrote down the cell phone numbers of both the phones John and I had appropriated, hoping I wouldn't have to wait too long to hear back from him.

"It was wonderful to see you Sabina," Jason reached out to hold my hands, one in each of his. "I always wondered how you'd turned out, if you were okay."

"I wasn't for a long time," I admitted. Pulling my left hand free I held it up so he could see my ring finger. "I am now ... finally found somewhere I belong and someone to belong with."

"That's great!" Jason smiled proudly. "You never said what you do ... what does your husband do?"

"He's a Lieutenant Colonel," I smiled at the look of surprise on Jason's face. "Air force fly boy," I added with grin. "He's stationed somewhere very remote but I managed to get a civilian post there – doing research and translating plus a bit of computer work. The only down side is we don't get to the States very often."

"Well that's just great," Jason said again. "I hope if you're out this way on your next visit you'll bring your husband in to say hello."

"John's busy with work or he'd be here now," I explained. "I can't promise I'll be out this way any time soon but sure, if we find ourselves near here we'll stop by."

"In the meantime I'll let you know if I find anything that would make a court order worthwhile," Jason promised, turning to escort me from his office.

Five minutes later I stood out on the pavement, looking up at that building and wondering if there really was anything in my file worth looking at. If I were to believe the vision Davos had given me then I would get to see it as some stage although the circumstances for getting to that point weren't clear from what I'd seen.

Pulling out my cell phone I dialled the SGC and asked to speak to Walter.

"Mrs Sheppard ma'am," Walter greeted me with his usual brisk manner.

"Hi Walter," I greeted him in return. "I was wondering if you could check something out for me. I might need a court order to get access to my own birth records. Is that something the air force can expedite?"

"I'll need to look into it," Walter advised. "I can call you back when I have something?"

"That would be great," I said thankfully. "In the mean time can you patch a call through to Colonel Sheppard?"

"Of course," Walter replied. "Stand by."

"Sabina," John's voice came through strongly a few seconds later.

"Hey, how's it going up there?" I asked.

"Slowly," John admitted. "It takes time to evacuate five city blocks without alerting the target but we're almost set to head out. How are things at your end?"

"Adoption records are sealed here," I reported. "Can't access mine without a court order. Walter's checking to see if the air force could put a rush on one. I saw my Dad's old law partner ... brought back a lot of memories."

"You okay?" John asked in concern.

"I guess," I replied. "You?"

"Welcoming the distraction," John admitted. "I'll have to go back and speak to Dave but a little bit of distance after that last conversation won't have done either of us any harm."

"We'll go back and speak to him together," I corrected. "I should be done here in a day or so."

"You still want to pursue this, even though it's proving more difficult than you expected?" John queried.

"Can you truly know where you're going if you don't know where you've come from?" I countered. "I used to think I couldn't which is why I drifted from thing to thing with no purpose. You know I feel differently now – I'm only following this up because I have a bad feeling there's more to this than a standard closed adoption."

"Sure you don't want that address Rodney gave you?" John asked curiously.

"Not yet," I replied. "I know it could turn out to be the easy way but ... what are the chances the same people will be there after thirty years? And if they are, I don't think I'm ready to meet them. I just want the information without having to get all personal about it."

"Fair enough," John agreed. "If you end up with that last resort – I'll go with you."

"Thanks," I smiled fondly, wishing I was up there so I could thank him more personally. "I'll call again when I've made some progress here."

"Likewise," John promised. "Take care of yourself."

"You too!" I signed off, knowing I probably had a goofy grin on my face but not caring if anyone saw.

oOo

With nothing else to do but wait for call backs from Jason and Walter I spent the rest of the day driving around doing a kind of memory lane tour. To be honest nothing really looked that familiar except for the school I'd gone to which seemed to have been frozen in some kind of time warp.

In the hour before twilight I found myself at the cemetery. I spent the time until night fell sitting in a chair across from Gwen and Roger's graves, thinking about life and how different mine could have been if they hadn't been killed. Would I have suffered from such a restless soul, travelled from place to place so frequently? Probably not. It was more likely that I would have settled on some kind of path, studied hard to please them, and be married with kids and living in the suburbs by now. For certain I wouldn't have made that journey to the Pegasus galaxy and John's side. While I regretted their deaths I couldn't regret that ... the string of events that led me there were necessary, no matter how much they'd hurt at the time.

Shivering at the sudden cold I realised I'd been there too long ... it was dark and I had no place to stay so I put in a call to the SCG and five minutes later was beamed back to the Apollo.

"How'd it go today?" I asked John as soon as I'd located him in the ships Mess.

"Not good," John admitted, looking at me closely and then wisely deciding not to comment on how late it was. "Poole tricked us to get to his Replicator without an escort – a costly mistake because the Replicator decided to eliminate him. So now we don't have him and we don't have his codes. Worse than that he must have told it how we were tracking it because that method isn't working anymore. We searched every building twice but didn't find him. In the end I had to ask Nancy for anything she could find out about project Archetype - that's what Poole was calling it."

"You were in Washington too?" I asked in surprise.

"Only for a few minutes," John pointed out. "The Apollo beamed me in and back out again before anyone else knew I was there."

"Is she going to help?" I looked at him curiously.

"Doesn't look like it," John admitted. "She used the opportunity to point out that she no longer had to put up with my secrets."

"Oh," I grimaced at how that would have felt from John's point of view. "That was ... harsh." After the meeting yesterday I'd felt almost benevolent towards John's ex-wife ... not so much now he'd revealed her ungracious behaviour. She hadn't needed to say that ... she could have just told him she was unable to help and left it at that ... particularly given the fact that she knew John was still dealing with his grief.

"I guess," John agreed with a shrug, clearly not wanting to put too much thought into anything Nancy had said.

"So what now?" I queried.

"Bill's still working on the encryption code," John replied. 'Hopefully there'll be something in those files that can help. How did your afternoon go?"

"It didn't," I admitted. "No one's got back to me yet so I spent the time wandering around looking for anything familiar. There wasn't much. I'll head back down tomorrow, maybe check in with my Dad's old partner again and see if he's got anything."

"You look tired," John commented in concern.

"You don't look exactly well rested yourself pal," I replied smartly. "Are you done for the day?"

"I guess," John watched as I stood and held a hand out to him. "Bed time?" he queried with a raised brow.

"Definitely," I returned. "And I don't know about you but I could really use a hug about now."

"That I can accommodate," John promised, putting an arm around me and squeezing fondly.

Authors Note:

Working out what happens when in this episode was a nightmare so I made a few executive decisions – one of which being that the scene at the end of their first search for the Replicator and then the following scene where John asks Nancy for information both took place on the same day (Nancy does say two John Sheppard encounters in two days which does support that). It is dusk at the location the Replicator disappeared from and still light in Washington so I'll just assume that was due to shifting time zones – given the Apollo could beam them anywhere instantly.

Thank you to BlondieChemGirl and apishcan18 for pointing out that Washington State and Washington DC are a LONG way from each other! I plead Australianness as my excuse for this error and have dutifully gone through the chapter correcting it. Washington is Washington DC since I don't think Sabina would add DC to it every time she says it. Also Sheppard's line to Nancy in the previous chapter "Still with Homeland Security? - comes direct from the episode. In the episode in their second encounter Nancy says "You want me to use my security clearance to get you classified information?" on Project Archetype. So although Homeworld Security is the fictional department that deals with the sort of thing covered by this episode I can only conclude that they meant for Nancy to have high enough clearance in general through her role at Homeland Security to get access to the information needed. Thanks to apishcan18 again for asking about this.

Next Up? Fortunate Journey Season 4 Chapter 48