Chapter 17: Restless

Darcy had never felt more alone in his life and he had this weird feeling of wanting the protection of his parents, the guidance that his mother would give him. He simply had no idea what to do, or think or say. He was not angry at his cousin, for he was his brother, like they were connected with flesh and blood. He was aware that himself was to blame, who was wrong, not only for not revealing his true feelings for Elizabeth to him, but also that he guided to give her up, just to selfishly make her his.

Elizabeth as she walked through the gardens of Pemberley, she suddenly saw Colonel Fitzwilliam seated on a bench. He seemed troubled and worried and physically it seemed that his fight with Darcy had not an impact on his skin. She approached him and sat next to him. It took her a minute to start talking. "How are you?"

"Fine, I suppose. I just have a headache" he replied coldly.

"I am glad to hear that you are not hurt"

To this he made no reply. Instead, he turned his look at her "I am thinking about leaving."

"Do not tell me that the reason of your departure would be because of what happened last night?" With his silence, Elizabeth understood. "You need to make peace with him. You cannot be angry at each other forever"

"You do not understand."

"Yes, maybe I do not. But, even though I am not aware of the reason of your fight, Darcy still remains your cousin. You cannot simply ignore this."

"I can and I will." he replied self-consciously.

"What about Georgiana? What about me?"

He looked at her again and simply smiled out of courtesy. "I think it is better to leave the things asthey are. I will return when everything have calmed down."

"Stay for the wedding, at least."

It took him a minute to reply and as the time past and made no answer, Elizabeth's worry was becoming bigger. "Alright."

"Thank you" she replied and put her hand on his arm. "Are the things so bad?"

It was a quick answer. "Yes."

Darcy was seated in the dining room, in his usual seat, enjoying lunch. He was silent compared to the other three, but he was not in the mood for talking. He had just another discussion with Richard, more civilized than the previous one. They did not mention the subject of their disagreement,neither did they mention Elizabeth. They just simply agreed on the fact that it would be best to be civil and talk with each other, until at least Richard would decide when it was best for him to forgive Darcy; for he did apologize. Elizabeth, who could see Darcy discomfort and who was seated his left as always, extended his hand to touch his under the table. But, when he felt her flesh upon his, he quickly moved his hand away. Elizabeth turned to look at him, but he seemed to stare at his plate.

It was later that day, when Elizabeth found the chance to approach Darcy, because ColonelFitzwilliam was occupied with Georgiana of course. He was in the library, isolated, and it seemed that he did not welcome her attention when she entered the room and approached him. She looked at the shelves, like she was searching for a book but she did not. The truth was that she waited for him to approach and talk to her, when he was ready. It did happen actually, well not as quickly as Elizabeth would hope, but it did. A quarter of an hour later.

"What are you looking for?" it was the only thing he asked, still seated in his chair.

"A book to distract me." She replied without looking at him.

"From what?" He looked at her.

"From your indifference." She laughed. He made no reply to this; instead she continued "How is your eye?"

"Much better."

"Darcy" she said hopelessly, approaching him and touching his hand "whatever is the matter?"

"Nothing, I am just thinking about Richard."

"Why did this happen?" She finally asked.

"Nothing that could interest you and if it did, I cannot tell you."

She took a step back. "Why I am interested? Because I care for you, Fitzwilliam, that is why."

Quickly as he realized his mistake, he stood up and touched her hand. "I am sorry." He paused. "But, I cannot tell you Elizabeth."

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do." he said and pushed her a little bit closer to him. "But If I tell you, I would expose myself and Richard as well. I cannot permit that."

"As you wish." She simply replied. "But, Darcy, I do not want you to keep any secrets from me."

"I will not."

"Promise me that you are always going to tell me the truth; for I do hate lies." she paused. "Promise me that you are not going to hurt me."

With a trembling voice, he replied "I promise."

Elizabeth then, stood on her toes and with a slow move; she leaned in and gently touched her lips with his. It was a sweet kiss at first, but then as Darcy regained his passion for her, he touched her waist with his left hand and pushed her close to him, while his right hand was in the nape of her neck. They were kissing passionately now. It was heaven.

"I cannot wait to make you my wife." She blushed.

"You are really impatient, my dear, have you noticed?"

A week past since this event and everything seemed to be in harmony. And Elizabeth was occupied most of the time with the preparations of the wedding. Colonel Fitzwilliam spent most of his time with Georgiana but he conversed with civility with Darcy. On the other hand, the latter gentleman was really confused. Courting Elizabeth lately was a real torture including cold baths. Her attention to him overwhelmed him, for she was too tempting for his own good. But lately, he could see her discomforted and he really had no idea what to do. He wanted to talk to her; for he was very concerned of what was happening in her mind. She seemed cold and stiff; she did not welcome his affection at all. In fact, they had not shared a kiss since the day after the fight with Richard. He tried many times to approach her, but there was always someone present. He wanted to be alone with her; he should find a chance.

That afternoon, when Elizabeth was ready for dinner she heard a knock on her chamber door. It was Darcy. Without saying anything, he bowed and quickly stepped in, afraid of being seen, he knew very well that it was too improper to be in her quarters. Elizabeth was surprised to see him, but she made no comment at all.

"Are you well, Darcy?" she asked and sat down. Darcy sat opposite to her and looked at her intensively. It was one of those intense looks that he lately used to pay on her. She first held his gaze, but as she sensed her blush, she looked down.

"I am fine." he paused "I see that you are prepared for dinner."

"It would be unusual for a lady to be accurate at time, but since many things occurred at this time, I realized that I needed time to relax"

"It must be a difficult time for a lady to prepare her wedding, especially for you, who have no one to help you with it."

"Ohh I have Georgiana" she replied cheerfully "I could not ask for a better assistance."

"Is that why you neglect me? Because of your busy schedule." He asked frankly.

She laughed. "Ohh how awful you must be feeling. I am sincerely sorry for doing so, for I did not know that the Master of Pemberley was eager for my attention"

"Stop it, Elizabeth" he replied seriously as she kept looking at her, laughing.

"Do not be such a child. Only two days left"

"You are probably right, my dear" he paused. "Are you nervous?"

"A little." she confessed.

"You will find myself very helpful and at last, I would find what you needed" he paused as he approached her. He took her hand in his and kissed it. But, he immediately regretted it; for he knew that once he would touch her skin, there was not going to be a limit. He was in her chamber thatwas not permitted. Without saying anything else, he slowly exited it and smiled back at her, as he whispered "I love you".

Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam was in his chamber trying to read, but he could not. There was too much going on with his life and he did not know how to handle. Elizabeth was now Darcy'sbetrothed and well Darcy was Darcy. But, something was not right. Since he was away, he never really thought of Elizabeth, but his feelings came back immediately as he saw her. She looked so beautiful at the ball and she was so enchanting. But, he was not permitted to make such thoughts for Darcy's bride-to be. It was not right to make such thoughts, but he could not help it. Elizabeth deserved to know the truth and Darcy to pay for his actions. Colonel was never so afraid in his life, not even when he was at war. If he was going to reveal all the truth behind his cousin's action, that meant that he would definitely going to lose him and maybe even lose Elizabeth. Well, the problematic thing was that he cared more for Elizabeth than Darcy. She would be hurt; he knew it, but she could not live in a life that someone else planned.

It was the day of the wedding and Colonel stood outside the hall, waited to escort Elizabeth in and pass her on Darcy. Minutes later, when she arrived, his heart stopped as he saw her, for she was so beautiful that it hurt. She was dressed up in white and she held a bouquet in her lovely hands. She stood in front of him and smiled, waited for him to talk.

"I have never seen anything more beautiful."

"Thank you." She blushed. "Shall we?"

But, he did not move an inch. Instead, he took a deep breath and said "There is something I want to tell you." Her heart beat a little bit faster, but she did not say anything at all. Colonel took her hand and led her to the nearest chair "I have struggled too much on how to reveal this and I was not going to tell you, but I have changed my mind." he barely could breathe.

"You are scaring me. What is the matter?"

"You must not marry him." he said quickly.

Elizabeth laughed. "You must be joking."

But, he shook his head negatively.

Well, too much going on here and please do not hate me for this chapter. I know that it is bittersweet, but I wanted to give a little drama on the story. That is how I imagined it anyway. Tell me your opinion.

I am a little sad, knowing that many of you did not really liked the previous chapter, referring to those who read it, due to the fact that only few of you actually reviewed. I am sorry for losing your interest in my story:)