Chapter forty seven
Concentration. Concentration and determination. Concentration, determination and hard work.
I was not good at any of these three things. At least, when it came to improving my fighting skills, or strengthening my shield, I wasn't. Acutely aware of each passing hour, Alice's news that the date for the expected influx of snow had been pushed back by a few days did little to pacify my worries. We still had nowhere near enough time for me to perfect my skills or even become half way decent before the Volturi arrived. And according to Alice's visions, they still were.
For the past three days, I had done nothing but train and Jasper was surprisingly accommodating. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it. I'd rarely seen him so engaged with something before and I could tell he was enjoying the role of teacher-one he hadn't been required to use for a very long time. Carlisle watched as much as he could, mainly to assist with shield training, but he had other things to attend to as well, such as meeting with the Quileute tribe, or helping with patrols of the town and surrounding areas. I felt a little guilty, keeping Jasper occupied when he was by the far the coven's most skilled tracker. Then again, if what the others said was true, my shield would be an invaluable asset to our defence, should things come to that, so perhaps it was best that Jasper and I trained as hard as we did.
We were in the process of working on my shield, when Rosalie approached. She looked anxious. Well…as anxious as the sardonic, yet heart achingly beautiful vampire could ever be. Behind her was Emmett, who threw a wink in my direction.
"What's wrong?" Carlisle asked, turning from me to face the newcomers.
"The police are coming," Rosalie explained.
My eyes widened in alarm. "The police?"
Carlisle grabbed my hand. "Relax, Bella. They are simply here to ask a few questions."
"About what?" I queried.
A tinge of regret coloured the angelic blonde's features, before he answered. "Your disappearance."
The alarm seeped away, allowing grief to take its place. I'd forgotten all about that. In the mess and confusion, as well as the need to prepare for the Volturi's visit, I hadn't spared a lot of thought for the ramifications of my departure from the human world. To be honest, I hadn't wanted to. It hurt too much to do so.
"Oh," was all I could think of to say.
Carlisle squeezed my hand, understanding my emotions, as did every other member of the coven, bar Alice. There were times I envied the diminutive vampire, having completely lost all memory of her human life. At least she wasn't constantly reminded of all those suffering her loss from the land of the living. Of course, it didn't mean I undervalued the hardship she had gone through. It must be hard never knowing who you were before a bloodthirsty immortal existence, having no sense of identity to cling to, during a time of unbearable confusion and torment. Having now experienced the transformation and struggle of becoming a vampire, it amazed me how she could remain so cheerful. Perhaps optimism was something that grew with age. It was a sharp contrast to the human race, which simply became more pessimistic the older it got.
"We're quite a way from the mansion here," Rosalie said, surveying our surroundings. "It should be far enough away to keep her safe, whilst the officers are there." Her sharp, ochre gaze ensnared Jasper and Carlisle in turn. "They're going to want to speak to you two, though."
"Fine," Jasper said, before speaking to me. "We continuin' this later?"
"You have both been out here all day," Carlisle said. "I think it is time you had a rest, even if only for a couple of hours." He turned to me, his eyebrows shifting to ask for my approval of his suggestion. I nodded. He was right, even though I was sorely tempted to stay out here with Jasper for the next couple of weeks and do nothing but train. It wasn't fair to Alice, though, separating her from her mate. She was having a hard time herself at the moment and it would do them both some good to spend some time together.
Carlisle turned to face me once again and cupped my face in his hands. "I'll see you soon," he promised, before his lips connected with mine. The affection between us had been far too sparse lately and there was no one to blame; it was simply a symptom of the chaos surrounding us. Perhaps, with the rest he suggested, we could spend some proper quality time together.
"Yeah, those officers I mentioned," Rosalie's sharp tone cut through the air. "They're still on their way."
A very low growl rumbled in Carlisle's throat and it brought a small smile to my face. He appeared to lament the lack of intimacy between us as much as I. Our lips parted and he placed a final kiss to my forehead, before stepping away and following Jasper back to the house. I simply stood and watched them go, my gaze mainly fixed on the form of the golden blonde. You'd think that improved sight would expose my eyes to the hidden flaws of his physical perfection, but it only increased his beauty. I loved that, even from this distance, I could see the fine hairs on the back of his head sway in the breeze. The way his back muscles shifted with each movement of his body beneath the shirt allowed improper ideas to run through my mind.
I eventually had to drag my gaze away from Carlisle and saw that Rosalie and Emmett were stood beside me. Emmett had a mischievous glint in his eyes, whilst Rosalie's face was as beautiful a mask of ennui as always.
"You're done fawning then?" she asked, one eyebrow arching imperiously. We may have grasped a better understanding of one another recently, but that didn't make her personality any warmer.
"Never," I replied, turning away to start strolling aimlessly through the trees surrounding us.
The couple followed, with Emmett throwing a bulky arm around the statuesque blonde's shoulders.
"Give her a break," he requested, addressing his mate. "It's not like you don't always check out my ass."
"Hard to miss it, Monkeyman," she retorted, with a smirk.
"Miiaaooowwww," he purred, which earned him a poke in the ribs. The pair chuckled for a moment, before Emmett's eyes swivelled towards me. "So, how's it going?" he asked.
"It's not," I replied, not even bothering to hide the displeasure in my voice. "I'm a disgrace to vampire kind."
"Oh, relax!" he admonished. "You're a newborn, Bella; barely a week old. You don't become a ninja superhero just like that." He punctuated the last word with a click of his fingers.
"I know Jasper's all about tactics and says you shouldn't let your strength rule you," Rosalie commented. "But don't underestimate it. It's still a useful tool and, as a newborn, you're much stronger than older vampires. In fact, you're the strongest in the coven right now. You could even take him out." She jerked a thumb in Emmett's direction.
A quiet snort of derision erupted from the nostrils of the large vampire in question and Rosalie stopped dead in her tracks. Turning her head regally, she gave him a look so haughty, it would have shamed the queen of England.
"You disagree, dear husband?"
"Maybe," he challenged.
"Care to put a wager on it?" she suggested and I could just see the electricity sparking between them. They seemed so different when they were apart, yet, together, they meshed as perfectly as Jasper and Alice. I hoped Carlisle and I were the same, even if we weren't as dramatically opposed as the other two couples.
Emmett considered her proposition, looking between his mate and me, before quickly making up his mind. His answer was predictable and the only way he could possibly maintain his pride.
"Sure!" he declared. "What do you propose, my lovely ball and chain?"
"I'll have your balls in chains if you keep that up," she threatened, a wicked gleam in her eye.
"Wait," I interjected. "You want us to fight?" The very thought alone terrified me. Jasper was an excellent soldier, but he was nowhere near as physically intimidating as the man bear stood before me.
"Hmm…" Rosalie pursed her lips in thought for a moment. "How about an arm wrestle?"
Relief washed over me. An arm wrestle I could handle.
"Pfft!" Emmett scoffed. "Are you looking to become bankrupt?"
"Who said I was betting money?"
Uncertainty clouded Emmett's features and he looked unsure of how to respond. I, for one, was enjoying the banter between the pair. Who knew they could be so entertaining? The black haired male shrugged, throwing as much nonchalance into the gesture as he could muster. He almost succeeded.
"Whatever, babe," he said, before turning to me. "Let's do this!"
He began scanning the area and I wondered what he was looking for. Surely all we needed were arms and they were already here. Throwing a questioning glance at the tall blonde beside me offered no illumination, as she chose to simply shrug back at me, before her eyes returned to her mate. He jogged off to a small cluster of trees, before a quiet, triumphant "yes!"filtered through the air. Then there was a grunt, before he came loping back towards us, carrying a massive boulder in his arms.
"What the Hell is that for?" I demanded, my eyes wide with panic. Did the loser get it thrown at them or something?
"Gotta rest our elbows on something," Emmett replied, throwing it lazily to the ground, where it landed with an inelegant thud.
"Oh, right," I murmured, the panic quickly subsiding, as I berated myself for being such an idiot. Did I really expect such nastiness from Emmett? Sure, from what I'd seen so far, he could get pretty excited at times and a little carried away, but, despite his tremendous size and strength, he still had the vampiric grace so unlike anything I'd ever known and would never willingly hurt one who didn't deserve it.
"Okay, ladies," the gigantic brunette boomed, unzipping the grey hooded sweatshirt covering his torso, to reveal a plain white vest beneath. Even without the top being removed, I could see the strong lines of definition carved into his chest and abdomen. They were enough to leave even the best of cover models for men's health magazines feeling inadequate.
"Show off," Rosalie muttered, rolling her eyes dramatically, although I could tell she was secretly enjoying the display.
"If you've got it, flaunt it," he winked and I swear if Rosalie was still human, she would've been blushing furiously.
It was a little bizarre to see how different her behaviour was around him. Well, not so much different, but…it was hard to explain. She was still very much the Rosalie I had first met a few days ago; snarky, intimidating and completely opposed to any form of pussy footing around. However, it felt as though a section of the stone wall surrounding her had lowered, or risen, like a portcullis, offering the merest glimpse of warmth beneath the ice. It was obvious how good Emmett was for her, especially given the terrible past she'd had. I knew only a brief part of that past, but her quick summary had been enough to make me feel that my own situation was blissful in comparison.
"So," Emmett continued, his sweatshirt now removed and placed on the edge of the boulder. "I'm assuming you remember the rules of an arm wrestle?"
I was about to throw him a glare, however it was surprising how often people argued over the rules. It was like Monopoly; everyone had their own method.
"Elbow firmly on the boulder, other arm behind your back," I said, to which he nodded.
"Which arm would you prefer to use?" he asked, a smug expression on his face. "I'm happy either way."
I thought of the training I'd received from Jasper, when he asked which foot I lead with. Was it the same for arms? I always wrote with my right hand, so reckoned it was a safe bet to say that would be the stronger limb. Emmett was already getting himself into position and he had to lean down quite a way, in order for his elbow to be flat against the boulder. I hid my smirk, wishing not to incur the wrath of my challenger. This was going to be a bad enough defeat, without giving him reason to make it any worse.
I walked over to the scene of the duel and mirrored his position. His palm was held open, with the tips of his fingers curling ever so slightly, beckoning and inviting me in. There was a look in his eyes that told me, even though this arm wrestle was a harmless bit of fun, he was taking it absolutely seriously and wouldn't go easy on me.
The moment my elbow touched the rough stone, his hand enveloped mine with a grip tight enough to crack bone. Luckily, I was now a vampire and mine could withstand the force. Once I was settled, our eyes locked and the left corner of his lips twitched upwards.
"Ready?" he asked, with a quirk of the eyebrow.
"As I'll ever be," I replied and braced myself for a quick whitewash.
"On the count of three," Rosalie instructed. "One…two…three!"
Immediately, a tremendous force hit my wrist and I was so taken by surprise, he managed to push my arm down a couple of inches. Once my brain caught up to the situation, however, I started to fight back and was able to lever our arms to their previous position. That was when I realised that Emmett hadn't been using his full strength to begin with. It was also when I realised that, rather than trounce me, he was actually struggling to pin my arm down. So far, I had been on the defensive, counteracting his attack, rather than initiating, so, when I actually started trying to push his arm down, I was pleasantly surprised by how easy I found it. Well…easy wasn't the best way to describe it; Emmett wasn't planning to go down without a fight. I think I'd been expecting to lose the arm wrestle within seconds, yet hadn't.
A low grunt removed my eyes from our tightly clasped hands, up to my opponent's face. To my absolute astonishment (and great amusement), he was actually grimacing with the effort. If vampires could sweat, a sheen of it would have lined his brow. His biceps were pumped to maximum capacity and the veins lining his forearms were clearly visible, looking ready to pop. A thrill ran up my spine at the thought of actually being able to defeat someone of Emmett's size and I decided to start fighting to win.
I could actually feel the venom moving through my limbs and the adrenaline started pumping. I couldn't believe what was happening! Emmett McCarty, the massive hulk of rippling muscle, was actually losing a contest of physical force against me. Me. Weak, little, clumsy Bella Swan!
Another surge of opposing force hit my wrist, Emmett's final push for dominance and I countered, giving back as much as I received. For a brief moment, I thought I felt him realise the possibility of actually losing, yet it didn't stop his fight. His stubbornness matched his strength, but my obstinacy was easily able to compete. For once, I was going to prove I could achieve something; prove I could actually be of use; prove that I could fight.
I tightened my grip even further and pushed down with every last ounce of power I could muster. Emmett tried to stop me, tried to delay the inevitable defeat he was about to suffer, but it was pointless. When only an inch of space remained between Emmett's knuckles and the boulder, I slammed his wrist down hard and a sharp crack signalled the end of the contest, as flakes of rock showered us like celebratory confetti.
"Yes!" I cried, jumping to my feet and holding my hands up triumphantly, before hopping around.
"No fucking way!" Emmett boomed, refusing to believe the result. "You cheated."
I glared at him indignantly. "Did not!"
He spun to face Rosalie. "Babe..?" he said, pleadingly.
"Sorry," she shrugged. "Bella won fair and square. Your crown has slipped, He-Man."
Throwing his hands up in the air, finally admitting defeat, Emmett turned away from me and I continued whooping and celebrating my success. Rosalie had been right; I really was the strongest member of the coven. I couldn't describe the sheer elation running through me at that moment. It wasn't so much beating the man mountain, but something deeper fuelling the pride. After all the constant battering my ego had received during the recent training, my confidence had been at an all time low and there were many moments I thought it might be better if I simply found a nice dark hole and hid there, whilst the useful vampires fought the battle. All I'd be is a hindrance.
The arm wrestle had changed that and offered a glimpse of light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I could do it. All I had to do was harness and hone the power lying within. A new sense of vigour started to spread throughout me and I suddenly wanted to run back to the mansion, grab Jasper and start training once more. I would've hugged Emmett, to thank him for what he had done, even if it was unintentional, but decided it'd be best to wait until his own ego had recovered from the bruising I'd dealt.
Gradually coming down from the triumphant high, I realised how long it had been since I felt so positive. I was desperate to share the news with Carlisle, but knew we still had quite a wait before the police were finished. A loud exhalation had me turning to see Emmett stood, hands on his hips and a determined expression on his face.
"Alright, alright," he said. "I'll give you that one. You beat me."
I beamed at him, to which he simply curled his top lip. He was smarting, definitely, but there was good humour beneath it all. His strength was his defining characteristic, but he wasn't so conceited to be a sore loser.
"We've still got time to kill," he continued, advancing a couple of steps towards me. "And I don't want you getting cocky. So…how about I treat you to a little training, McCarty style?"
I considered the offer for a moment, thinking of Jasper and wondered if learning from a new teacher could have a detrimental effect on my tuition. Then again, Emmett could provide a different perspective, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. After the quick deliberation, I decided to accept his offer and a wide grin spread across his face, as I nodded. Bringing his hands together with a clap and rubbing the palms against each other, a spark of glee shone in his eyes. I briefly worried that I may have made the wrong decision.
"Ready?" he asked.
Nope.
000
Laughter greeted us, as Rosalie, Emmett and I neared the porch of the Cullen abode. Jasper's mirth was a rarity to behold, but utterly beautiful when unleashed.
"I never thought I'd see the day," the honey haired Texan declared. "When Emmett McCarty was beaten by a girl!"
"Hey!" I admonished.
"And not just any girl," Jasper continued. "But an ungainly little thing who's about a third of your size!"
"Okay," I interjected, not entirely appreciative of his description. "I think we've ascertained that I'm a clumsy oaf."
"Whatever, John Wayne," growled Emmett, good-naturedly. "It's thanks to my tutelage that she managed to unleash that inner body builder."
Bodybuilder? "I am here!" I cried, which earned a round of laughter.
"Ladies," said Carlisle, referring to the two arguing vampires. "Let's not forget our manners."
His arm wrapped around my waist and I giggled at his remark, before turning around to face him. "How did it go?" I asked, regretting the need to dampen the jovial mood.
"As expected," he replied, somewhat cryptically.
I frowned and my face projected a need for clarification, but he refused to offer it for the time being.
"There is nothing to worry about," he assured, placing a quick kiss upon my temple. "And I will explain all inside."
At that, it was an unspoken agreement for everyone to head back inside the house and join the other three females in the lower floor lounge. Despite the brief moment of humour outside the mansion, it wasn't enough to cover the mixture of tension and relief permeating the atmosphere. Carlisle said there was nothing to worry about, but there was certainly no reason to celebrate. The police may not be on the Cullens' backs, but it was due to unhappy circumstances that we were in this very position to start with.
Thoughts of law enforcement and police officers only aided to bring back memories and concerns about my father, which brought about a dull ache in my chest. I felt an overwhelming need to see Charlie and it was almost crippling to know for how long that would be impossible. And thoughts of Charlie only led to thoughts of Renée, which had me momentarily switching off my brain, before the grief overwhelmed me.
As I worked through my internal turmoil, everyone either took their seats. I felt too twitchy and energetic to simply sit and veg on the sofa, but short of running around the house to let off some steam, remaining on my feet was all I could do to, at least, release a little of that energy.
I wondered if everyone would remain in the same room, but Emmett, sprawled out on the floor at Rosalie's feet, began a conversation which ensured everyone did.
"You know, it's been a while since I had to flex my pecs," he said, choosing the moment to give everyone a quick display of his physical prowess, by flashing a bicep. It was so cheesy, egotistical and tongue in cheek that nobody could contain their amusement.
"You're just itching for a fight, aren't you Hulk?" Rosalie commented, with mock sweetness.
"Hell yeah!" Emmett declared, before turning his head and wiggling his left eyebrow suggestively at the beautiful blonde. "And so are you."
"Hardly," she dismissed, with a roll of the eyes.
"Oh, come on," Emmett pushed. "You love a good old fashioned scrap as much as the rest of us."
Rosalie ignored him and reached for one of the magazines strewn across the glass coffee table, before reclining into a pose straight out of vogue. It wasn't right for so much physical perfection to be contained within a five foot nine figure and, even though my new form gave me unnaturally attractive physical attributes that most human women could only dream of possessing, it was utterly redundant in comparison to Ms Hale.
"You almost sound excited about the arrival of the Volturi," Alice remarked and there was a hint of disapproval in her tone.
"Not like that," Emmett insisted, knowing his jollity could be misconstrued. "But, sparring with Bella earlier was fun, y'know? And it's been ages since we last saw each other, so this is kinda like a family reunion."
I could tell by his voice and the open features of his face that Emmett had truly missed his coven. It was endearing, especially when I had initially been so terrified of the guy. His stature certainly belied the soft centre of personality buried inside.
"I do wish it were under better circumstances," Carlisle said, before his eyes shifted up to meet mine. "For all of us."
The doctor's hand clasped mine, before our fingers interlaced and I tried to give him a smile of reassurance, to tell him that I understood and was okay. But I wasn't and it made it all the worse to know that my sadness only served to increase his. I supposed that was the problem with being so close to somebody, physically as well as mentally and spiritually.
"Oh no!" Esme warned and we both looked up to see her finger pointed in our direction, before her reproachful gaze swept across the entire room. "We're not doing this."
"Doing what?" Emmett asked.
"This!" she explained, holding her hands out to gesture to every person (or vampire) in the room. "We are not going to spend all our time morose and brimming with angst."
"How the Hell are we supposed to do that?" Rosalie demanded. "In case you hadn't noticed, this family isn't exactly in the best of places right now."
Esme got to her feet, with all the imperious grace and authority she possessed. It was an impressive sight to behold and I decided it was sensible to stay still and keep quiet. In that moment, it was easy to imagine her as a teacher.
"That may be so," she began. "But sitting around, worrying and moping isn't going to change our fates, whatever they might be. The Volturi are coming regardless and, when they do, it could well be the last day any of us sees. So, I don't know about anyone else, but, if we aren't long for this world, I refuse to have my last memories of this coven mired by misery and woe."
Everyone was silent, absorbing Esme's words. Handled by anyone else, the speech could have come across as insensitive, but, from her, it made complete sense. Unfortunately, my nerves refused to listen to that sense and, whilst I saw her point, I couldn't let go of the dread residing within the pit of my stomach.
I had a feeling everyone else felt the same, including Esme, but nobody argued. Instead, everyone settled down once again and the light hearted chatter continued. I had expected it to be an effort to carry out Esme's request and I did my very best to carry out her wishes. Unfortunately, even the comfort of snuggling onto Carlisle's lap couldn't quell the angst within.
000
"No way!" Emmett boomed. "That asshole was mine!"
A chorus of laughter accompanied his exclamation. The past couple of hours had been basically spent with the rest of us listening to the banter bouncing between Jasper and his comrade. It began as a bit of harmless teasing, but had now become a fight for the title of greatest warrior within the coven.
"The Hell he was, boy," Jasper drawled, his accent having grown in strength as the argument wore on. "If it weren't for me, he would have smote your ass."
I'd tried to keep up with all the stories, but, to be honest, had long since become uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken. All the talk of brawling and fighting, along with a couple of Emmett's near-death experiences left a bad taste in my mouth that I doubted would be eradicated any time soon.
"At least I wasn't nearly decapitated by a tree!" Emmett retorted.
"I told you," Jasper began in his own defence. "It wasn't the tree, but the seven foot jackass throwing me towards it that was responsible for the near-beheading."
"And I'll thank you not to bring that up again, McCarty," chimed in Alice.
Any hope for a change in topic was sadly not grasped, as the conversation continued. Did nobody see how wrong it was to laugh and joke about this sort of stuff? Was it a product of near-invincibility, to laugh off the notion of death? None of the other vampires appeared to register the same level of disapproval over the situation, especially given what we were about to come up against, but I didn't want to be a total buzz kill. I hadn't seen the coven this cheerful since…well, even towards the end of my human existence, things had been strained. And this evening had been Esme's idea.
"Don't forget those two hobos that almost took Carlisle's left arm off," Emmett laughed. "I think we're lucky to still have you here with us."
My head whipped round to gawp at the dazzling blonde, who had just re-entered to the room.
What. The. Fuck?
His face morphed into an expression of chagrin, upon bearing the expectation of relaying the tale.
"When was that?" Alice asked, her nose crinkled with curiosity.
"That was before you and Jasper arrived," Carlisle enlightened. "We had a-" he searched for the correct term to use. "-run in with a small nomadic coven during a trip to Europe. I wasn't the only one to suffer injury, though."
My eyes, which had widened a little in alarm, were now horrified saucers of scarlet and white. It was getting worse! I wanted to leave, but there was nowhere for me to go. Wherever I went in the house, I'd still hear every damn word. I cursed my unnaturally enhanced hearing.
"One of the bitches tried to pull my hair out," Rosalie muttered, a dark cloud of fury settling over her face at the memory. "I took off her head, though."
The talk of violence was getting too much for me and I had to tuck my hands between my thighs, in order to keep them from twitching with nerves.
"Don't you have a scar somewhere from that fight?" Emmett queried, to which Carlisle nodded.
"Yes," he answered, sitting in the seat of the chair upon whose arm I perched once more. "Just below my left shoulder."
My eyes were immediately drawn to the location he had just mentioned and I was tempted to remove the shirt covering the spot then and there, just to observe the wound. I'd never noticed it before, but, then, whenever his shirt had been removed, his shoulder wasn't an area that particularly held my interest, when compared with other parts of his anatomy. Why were they retelling this story? Alice didn't want Emmett mentioning Jasper's brushes with death, so why were we discussing Carlisle's?
The chatter carried on and the coven leader was coerced into recounting the tale in full to Alice and Jasper. With each sentence, I became more and more ill at ease and, at several points, wanted to just plug my fingers in my ears to stop listening. What was the point of it all? Esme had said that these could be our last few days together and the only thing more terrifying than my death, was the death of Carlisle. He had been on this planet for four centuries, gracing the Earth with his wisdom, compassion and beauty, yet, in less than a year, I had possibly brought about an end to his lifetime. Because of me, Forks might no longer have the greatest doctor the country has ever known. The delightful little pixie, with the quirky style and inexorable energy might never again have the chance to change someone's life forever, by being the greatest best friend anyone could wish for. The incredible love between Emmett and Rosalie would no longer be on display for others to see and be inspired by. And Esme; kind, nurturing, beautiful Esme, who had proven to be invaluable during times of need, would no longer sashay into a bar and turn the head of every single man present.
"Ah, the good old days, huh?" Emmett murmured, which earned a chuckle from Jasper and Rosalie.
I'd heard enough. As quietly and inconspicuously as possible, I levered myself up from the arm of the chair and walked away. I didn't rush at vampire speed and was thankful for the staircase being located behind the sofa and chairs, so those engrossed in conversation wouldn't necessarily notice me leave right away. At least I hoped they wouldn't.
As soon as I reached ground floor, I gave in to my natural abilities and raced up towards the room I had occupied during my transformation. I may have been sharing Carlisle's room now, but I didn't want my senses overwhelmed by reminders of loved ones at that point. I needed just to get away and have my own little private panic attack, whilst the rest enjoyed their evening. I didn't begrudge them their time together, I just couldn't join in. Even after my earlier triumph against Emmett, I wasn't feeling confident enough in myself to get psyched up for a fight and to hear them talk so…so…so easily about fights and battles was just unnerving.
I stood by the tall window and looked out at the gradually darkening sky. The rain had taken a short holiday, allowing the earth to dry a little and it was sign that the temperatures were beginning to drop. Frost was starting to decorate the landscape in the mornings now and I knew it wouldn't be long before the dreaded snow covered the landscape; a signal of our doom. The overwhelming melancholy hit me like a silent wave and, in that moment, I wanted so badly just to be able to cry, to have some form of release for my feelings, but I was no longer allowed such luxuries. There was always the angry route, but I still felt bad for the damage I had already caused to the Cullens' property and what would anger solve really? I wasn't even particularly angry, more despondent about the situation everyone was in. Even those who had no knowledge of the truth, who had done nothing to deserve the torture they were currently under, were suffering. I was willing to shoulder the blame, to go alone and speak with the Volturi, if it meant keeping everyone else safe. Carlisle would never allow it, though and I was pretty sure that would prove to be one of Alice's successful visions. In the end, there was nothing more to do than wait, prepare and wait some more.
The brushing of carpet alerted me to the entrance of another and I already sensed who it was, but couldn't bring myself to look in his direction. It was nothing personal; I just needed to be alone.
"Isabella?"
"If you've come to brag some more about how many times you've almost died, I'm not interested."
Silence followed my remark, before a very gentle sigh drifted into the air. Barely audible footsteps announced Carlisle's approach, but still I refused to turn. I was far from over my emotional turmoil and I didn't want to appear any weaker before him than I already did.
The footsteps halted a step or two behind me. "I am sorry, Bella," he said, his voice just above a whisper. "It was not apparent that you were so affected by the conversation. Had I realised-"
I span to face him and cut him off, mid sentence. "How can you all just sit there and laugh it off?" I demanded, allowing a little of the anger to seep out through my tone.
To his credit, Carlisle actually displayed signs of sheepishness. It wasn't in abundance, but there, just below the surface, all the same.
"Perhaps because my own life is not most precious to me," he replied, looking me square in the eye.
Oh no, he wasn't getting out of this using those tactics! "And why not?" I argued. "It might not seem all that important to you, but there are those who thinks it's the most important in the world!"
"Bella-" he took a step forward.
"No!" I declared, holding an accusatory finger up. "I'm not finished. You might think your disregard for your own existence is altruistic, but it's utterly selfish! Have you even thought about what people would do without you?"
"Bella-" He tried to interrupt me again, but I was having none of it.
"What all those patients in the hospital would do without an incredible doctor like you? What this coven would do without someone like you to lead them? You're the reason they're living the life they do!"
"Bella-"
"There are people who wouldn't be able to go on without you by their side. How could they, knowing they would never see you again or benefit from all the wonderful things that make you you?" A hint of desperation crept into my tone. "I am utterly terrified of losing you and you're sat down there, treating it like its nothing worse than a paper cut! There are people who rely on you, who need you and you can't just throw that away, or even joke about it, because-"
The pleas died on my lips, the moment his came into contact with them. The action caught me by surprise and I didn't know if it was a form of thanks, an apology or simply a way to shut me up. Perhaps it was all three. Whatever it was, I began pouring all my pent up anxiety and desperation into my response, deepening the kiss, until his hand slid into the back of my hair, securing our mouths in place.
My mind emptied of all thought, as my senses were enveloped by the sensations he aroused. His tongue swept into my mouth and I mirrored its motions, as the kiss developed into something more. His free arm wrapped around my waist, before I was hoisted up and something collided with my back. I barely gave it a second thought, before wrapping my legs around his torso, my arms encircling his neck.
How long had it been since we had a moment like this? Too long, my memories cried and I chose to apologise to them by making the very most of this delicious embrace. My legs locked into place around him, pressing our bodies as tightly together as they could possibly be. Carlisle seemed to approve, because his lips left mine, to start trailing their way along my jaw line. I bit my lip and let out a soft moan. Grabbing a fistful of hair, my head was pulled back, to fully expose my neck and he started using his teeth to graze down the pale column, before sucking at the hollow of my throat. Oh God, it was…it was…I gave up even trying to describe it, because it distracted from my enjoyment of the act itself.
My arms removed themselves from his neck and hands searched for the restrictive buttons of his shirt. It was hard for the fingers to work properly, because he was doing such wonderful things with his tongue and I soon forwent the buttons to simply rip the garment from his body. His mouth left my throat and our lips met once again, capturing one another with hungry kisses. My fingers ran through the silken strands of his golden hair, before I decided it was my turn to play a little rough. Jerking his head back, I lunged straight for his clavicle, nipping, sucking and teasing until growls of arousal purred from the depths of his throat.
A tearing shattered the peace around us and I felt the air hit my bare skin, as a quiet thud signalled the discarding of my top. I had no bra on, so we were now both naked from the waist up and Carlisle planned for our lower halves to follow suit sooner rather than later. Before that could come, however, our mouths hadn't yet finished with one another. His hands ran up and down every inch of my naked skin and, with every one of my senses heightened, it was the most incredible thing I had ever experienced.
I could feel the result of his enjoyment pressing into the crotch of my jeans, which only served to increase my overwhelming desire and my hips started moving of their own accord, grinding against him, as I sought stimulus for the warmth growing inside. Carlisle's body began moving in rhythm with mine and my head fell back against the wall behind me, as my eyes closed in the ever increasing rapture I experienced.
Suddenly, Carlisle stopped moving and I heard a whimper exit my lips, before I looked down to see him undoing the top button of my jeans. The zipper was lowered at lightning speed, before the jeans became the latest in a long line of ruined garments that had once clothed my body. Panties were discarded at an even quicker speed, before his hands had to momentarily leave my body, in order to undress himself.
In seconds we were both completely naked and, without any warning or preparation, he entered me. I let out a breathless gasp of exhilaration, as he plunged deep inside and I couldn't find any words after that to express how delightful it felt when my insides clenched around him. That one thrust was almost enough to take me over the edge, but I managed to hold back. I fully intended to let this go on for as long as I possibly could. I let Carlisle find his rhythm, before my hips started grinding once again, to increase the friction and pleasure.
Christ, pleasure wasn't even the word! Flashbacks of our previous love making told me that he had been holding back previously and I was amazed to think we could top the sex we'd had before. There was nothing to fear now, though. I wasn't the breakable little human any longer and there was absolutely nothing to stop him going as far as we both wanted. And I was ready to go as far as our bodies would allow. I never wanted it to stop.
The thrusts got harder and more frenzied, as our desires began to reach their pinnacle. Fingers roamed the body, lips caressed the skin and teeth teased the nipples, which had hardened underneath expert ministrations. I was seeing stars and my head fell back once again, as my insides danced and contracted deliciously. I was so close, so very, very close. I had been for a while and it was the most wondrous game to fight the inevitable explosion. The fight could only last so long, though and, when I finally came, it was with cries of unbelievable ecstasy. My tipping point was also Carlisle's and his moans of pleasure in my ear were enough to make me want to fall to pieces all over again.
With spasms of quelled lust making our bodies tremble, I took a moment to gaze into Carlisle's beautiful golden eyes. His were fogged with spent desire, but, one look at me ignited the fire within them once again.
With a crashing of our lips, he threw me to the floor and, this time, I was shown just how much he had been holding back.
A/N: So, there were are, folks; one nice long chapter, finishing with a lemon. I felt it was about time they had a little action again and I hope you all enjoyed it :)
It was fun to give some more character to Emmett and Rosalie and I couldn't resist adding in the arm wrestle scene. I did love that in the second Breaking Dawn film.