Chapter 20: That's how the world ended

Elizabeth and Darcy sat opposite to one another in the library, reading something. But the truth was that neither of them paid any attention to it, they just stared at the pages. They were lost in their thoughts. It was morning and after taking breakfast separately, when Darcy entered the library, he found her already in. He decided that it would be amazing if he could feel her presence near him, even without talking. Elizabeth felt the same; even though she was mad and did not want to see him anymore, the darkest part of herself wanted him near her, all the time.

They were seated like that for almost an hour, until Darcy decided to break the silence and said,"Elizabeth" she turned her face to look at him and when she did, he continued "We need to talk, you know."

She nodded. "Yes, I know."

"Are you ready?"

Elizabeth stared at him for quite a while, trying to calm herself. She still could not forget the things the colonel had said to her. They were still there, torturing her.

As the colonel indicated to her, she sat on the chair and after a while he sat down as well. They looked at each other without talking, but Elizabeth, who could not stand the silence anymore she spoke. "What do you mean that I must not marry him?"

"He does not love you, Elizabeth" he almost whispered.

Elizabeth laughed "I see that you still insist on this absurd opinion."

"It is not my opinion" he paused "he had told me himself."

Elizabeth froze and then smiled a little. She could not, of course,believe such things, because they were the most ridiculous things she had ever heard. It was not possible. "Pray tell me..."

"There are some things that you do not know."

A small frown was created on her forehead. "Tell me" she demanded.

"Let me start from the beginning" he replied and looked at her eyes. "Did you know that he bought Longbourn?"

"What?" she almost yelled and he nodded.

"Yes, indeed. It happened when we had gone to London together, but he made me promise that I would not tell a soul" he paused. "He wanted you gone, Elizabeth, can you not see?"

"That is absurd Colonel" she said "Why would he want such a thing?"

"He told me that he wanted you to have something of your own. Because..." he paused, ashamed to continue "You had nothing that could tempt anyone to marry you."

Elizabeth did not know what to think or say. She remembered the conversation she overheard months ago, when the two gentlemen were in dining room discussing about her. Indeed, such words came out of his mouth but that did not mean that he still believed them, after all they were spoken in the beginning of theiracquaintance, when they did not like each other at all, but now everything was different. Elizabeth knew that he loved her, didn't she?

"If indeed such words were spoken, why he want to marry me then?"

He looked at her eyes and then said "Because he was forced to."

"What do you mean?"

"He had made an agreement with Lady Catherine." he paused "He had to choose a wife and announce her at the Christmas ball."

She froze; she felt her hands shaking and her heart beating so fast. "I do not understand"

"Lady Catherine made him promise that he would find a wife until the Christmas ball." he paused. "Many months ago, Darcy was in need of money and his aunt agreed to help him, because otherwise, it would probably have a bad effect on the family's fortune. They agreed with one condition; he had to find a wife. Darcy postponed the task as much as he could, but when we were in London, a letter arrived from her, saying that this would be his last chance." He paused again to take a deep breath "You can rely on Bingley's testimony as well, for we were present when the letter arrived and he is also aware of this deal."

Elizabeth kept looking at him, when she finally said "But, why he accepted in the first place? He could have borrowed money from anyone."

"Yes, he could" the Colonel paused, "but she told him that Georgiana was in need of a woman companion, that she could not longer live without a female influence. Lady Catherine as you know is childless and loves Georgiana as her own daughter; it is natural to want the best for her. If he did not agree on the deal, then she would take Georgiana's guardianship from us."

"Is that even possible?" It was all that she managed to say.

"Yes" he said and took her hand in his "With her connections and influence, she was able to do it. She had the means to take Georgiana away from him."

Elizabeth could hardly breathe. Everything was so confusing. "If so, then why he chose me?" she paused "Why are you so sure that he does not love me?"

"I am Elizabeth, I just know it" he said with a cold voice. "I think that his time was running out and since there was no..."

"Are you telling me that he proposed me, because he had not another option?" asked she angrily. He nodded. "He could have asked Penelope."

"He could not." he replied instantly. "Penelope is engaged" he paused "She always were. That is why she left him in the first place, she knew very well that they could not be together; her marriage was planned since infancy."

Elizabeth looked at her lap, not able to comprehend what Richard was trying to tell her. "I cannot..."

Richard touched her arm, just to comfort her "He did not tell you the reason of our fighting that night, did he?" Elizabeth looked up at him and shook her head negatively. "He knew my affection for you."

Her eyes widen. "Your what?"

"I loved you Elizabeth and he knew" he paused "I still do."

She breathed heavily before she decided to speak "No, not yet."

Darcy looked at her once more and immediately stood up. He slowly approached her and took her hand in his "I know that I have hurt you, but please do not ever doubt for one second my love for you." Here she was, all his, trying her best to give him all she could. How could he ever hurt her so?

She looked at him in the eyes and said "But how can I not Fitzwilliam, when you lied to me?" she paused. "Love is not supposed to hurt." She had never been this mad or hurt at anyone before. It was one thing to be attacked by someone you hated, but this was something else. This was the kind of hurt that could only be inflicted by someone you loved, who you thought loved you. It was sort of like being stabbed from the inside out. "When you love someone, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt-you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it's crippling-like having your heart carved out." She paused to wipe the tear that was falling on her cheek. "That is what you did, Fitzwilliam. I had told you not to hurt me." Darcy quickly grabbed Elizabeth from her seat and pushed her towards him without even saying anything; he quickly hugged her and brushed her hair. She let her head rest on his shoulder and he gently kissed her forehead. "How am I supposed to trust you again?" asked she.

Did you expect that? Do you think Colonel is telling the truth? Tell me your opinion!