Author's note: Umm…so…remember me? I'm not even going to apologise for the length of time it's taken me to update, because, well it's ridiculous, really. I just got to a stage where I'd lost inspiration for the story, so chose to take a step back for a while and give it some distance, until I was ready to continue. I didn't want to force myself to keep writing, because it would have had a negative impact on the quality of the storytelling, which wouldn't have been fair to any of the readers, who've followed this from the beginning.

So, ladies and gentlemen, after three months of waiting, I finally give you chapter 48!

Chapter forty eight

Time.

The meaning of the word had changed. It passed so much more differently now, with the seconds languorously rolling into minutes, which, in turn, formed endless hours, that made up entire days. It could have seemed boring, dull to watch so much time pass by, but, with immortality came an observation and calm that most mortals were incapable of possessing.

Life, for the human race, had become just that-a race. Everything had a time limit, from periods of sleep, to the countdown of a shift at work. Very rarely could a person just stand in the middle of a field and simply…watch.

That was what I was doing right at that moment. Watching. A strong wind had enveloped Forks and I observed the movement of each individual leaf, on a particular tree ahead of me. There were so many shades of green decorating the leaves and, despite the grey, sombre lighting of the winter sky, the colours were still dazzling to my superior vision. Dancing in the air, those leaves appeared so carefree, so unburdened by the troubles that plagued other life forms and, at face value, that freedom could have aroused jealousy. However, a closer look revealed the truth behind the "freedom". They weren't free, their stems fixed to the branches, awaiting the season that they would be allowed to fall, before remembering that, as evergreens, they would never be released. They were trapped, forced to watch the world change around them, until their host eventually died.

It was a melancholic observation, I realised, yet it didn't stop me. I was feeling introspective. This was the third day I had spent an afternoon, simply watching the scenery. I wasn't sure why, although suspected that impending doom might be the cause, but, more and more, I felt the need to simply absorb my surroundings and carve them into my memory. I'd been doing the same with Carlisle, using every opportunity to touch or simply look at him, memorise the planes of his flawless face, or the feel of his hard body. In the week that had followed our argument, I would get him to sit with me each night and do nothing more than talk, because I wanted to revel in the sound of his smooth, velvety voice, as it caressed my ears.

This wasn't to say that the rest of my time hadn't been spent wisely. Every single day had been utilised as much as possible, to hone my talent and refine my fighting skills. I had a Hell of a long way to go, but progress had definitely been made. My shield could now encompass up to three people, not including myself and I kept on pushing, not content to feel confidence in my abilities until, at least, the six other members of the coven could safely reside within the barriers of my gift.

When I first tried developing my talent, it had been an unreachable glow of light, but, now it had grown to a beacon, easily identifiable, the moment I closed my eyes. For some reason, I couldn't quite focus enough to unleash it with open eyelids, but Carlisle reckoned it was simply because I had to get used to my newborn senses. Eventually, I'd be able to simply project my gift without thinking. I sincerely hoped so. Initially, it had been the angelic blonde's touch and voice that allowed me the mental calm needed to find the shield and, since then, I had decided to practise shutting out my environment and focusing on nothing but the memory of his dulcet tones. At one point, whilst reclining on one of the sofas in the lounge, I had closed my eyes, remembering his description of his mother that I had randomly asked for one night, but the moment was interrupted by a prod to the ribs. Falling back to reality, I had turned to get a thumbs up from Jasper, having apparently used my gift without realising.

Barely perceptible footsteps approached and I inhaled, discovering that the scent belonged to Alice. She gracefully skipped to halt beside me, her eyes following the direction of mine.

"Good afternoon, Bella," she said, her musical voice soft and high.

"Hi," I replied, turning my head to offer a small smile her way. I still had to get used to how incredibly her beauty had increased, since acquiring my vampiric eyesight. Back in the day, when I had assumed Alice was just a lowly, albeit extremely pale, human, I'd thought her long, dark lashes were fake, but, with improved vision came the knowledge that nothing fake could match the exquisiteness of the real thing. Each lash curled artfully, sculpting perfectly to the shape of her eyes and, just like the leaves, I could have studied them for hours.

"Practising?" she asked, meeting my gaze.

"No," I answered, aware that she referred to my constant desire to improve both my shield and fighting abilities. "Just watching, today."

Alice nodded, her golden eyes returning to the landscape ahead. "I do that, sometimes," she revealed. "Although, it's usually in a clothing boutique, rather than outdoors." A sigh of longing left her lips. "I find that nothing can quite compare to the delicate drape of a silk Oscar De La Renta gown."

Her remark brought a second smile to my face. "Can't say I've ever seen one," I admitted, waiting for the look of horror that would undoubtedly cross her delicate features.

"Poor, unfortunate child," she quipped. "We shall have to remedy that."

"I don't think so," I argued. "This body was made for Converse and jeans, not dresses and heels."

"Were it not for the return of my shopping buddy," Alice declared, referring to Rosalie. "I would despair at you."

"I'll get you a Barbie doll for Christmas," I retorted.

She smiled in reply, before a comfortable silence fell between us. It was nice, having a moment with Alice, as we hadn't been given the opportunity to see much of one another, despite now living under the same roof. Everyone was busy with their own plans and I knew she would want to spend as much time with her mate as possible, before the inevitable standoff against the Volturi. I wondered how she was feeling about it all, whether the tension was coiling in her stomach, like it was in mine, but decided not to pry, because it was the last topic I wanted to discuss.

As my eyes roamed the horizon, I felt the body beside me stiffen and turned to see Alice's face go blank. Her eyes were twitching left and right, up and down, yet they weren't seeing anything before them. She was having a vision. If I'd possessed a pulse, it would have quickened and I knew patience would be required, until her vision was over, but a dozen questions were already lining up in my mind, every single one beginning with the word what.

The diminutive vampire's eyes halted and her head whipped over her shoulder, towards the house behind us.

"What is it?" I asked. "What did you see?"

"Charlie."

Her whisper immobilised me with fear. What about Charlie? What's happened? Where is he?

I had moved round and gripped her arms, forcing her to look at me, but could tell she was distracted. Her eyes were flying everywhere again, but she was no longer in the throes of a vision, just panicking.

"Alice!" I cried, needing an answer.

"He-he's here," she said. "Oh God, he's entering the driveway. I didn't even see it! It must have been a last minute decision…" Her rambling continued, until her eyes finally found mine and her lips pursed into a thin line. "We have to get you out of here. He can't see you!"

"What..?"

Before I could finish my latest question, I was pulled into the nearby brush, just in time to avoid the sight of a car. It was a police cruiser, the most recognisable police cruiser of all. The wheels were caked in dirt and a dent in the left corner of the bonnet marked the vehicle as unmistakably Charlie Swan's. The car slowed to a clumsy stop, at the end of the driveway, before the engine was switched off and the driver door opened.

Alice and I were crouched only a few yards away and, as the figure emerged, my eyes connected with an all too familiar face. In a rush, a myriad of thoughts, memories and feelings assaulted my senses and my chest grew tight. It was him, the man who had helped bring me into this world. The man, from whom I had inherited my once-brown eyes. The man who had once carried me all the way home, when, at five years old, I fell over and grazed my right knee. The man who had held me tight and kissed the top of my head, the night I was almost attacked and discovered the existence of vampires.

The man…who was my father.

He looked old, so very old to my newborn eyes and tired. No, he was beyond that, as his fatigue had roamed into the realms of exhaustion. The worst part of all, though, was that Charlie was doing his darnedest to appear completely normal, but he'd failed so spectacularly that it felt enough to coax my dead heart into beating once again. His clothes were clean, but rumpled, his hair dishevelled and jaw lined with stubble. The lines of weariness were etched deep into his face and dark circles skirted his eyes. The quiet, yet authoritative demeanour had been replaced by a hunched figure, drooping under the weight of despair and depression.

It caused me physical pain to watch him shuffle along the path, towards the front door. He pressed the doorbell and followed it with a loud knock, before waiting patiently for someone to answer. Carlisle opened the door, a solemn expression on his face and, seeing them oppose one another, the two men I loved most, one of which I had sacrificed, to be with the other, was too much. Had I the ability to cry, tears would have been streaming down my face.

"Chief Swan," Carlisle greeted him, genuine surprise evident in his voice. There hadn't been time for Alice to warn the others.

"Carlisle," Charlie replied.

"What brings you here?" the doctor asked politely. He knew I was near and I could see his eyes quickly scan the driveway for me.

It took my dad a while to respond and his feet shuffled a little, as he considered his next words. "I…uh…I wanted to talk…to you."

Carlisle took a split second to weigh up the pros and cons of letting my father into his home, before standing aside and holding the door open.

"Come in," he said.

Charlie accepted the invitation and the door was closed.

I crouched there, utterly dumbstruck. Why was Charlie here? What did he want to talk to Carlisle about? Alice was on her feet in an instant, pulling me up with her.

"Come on, Bella," she said, gripping my wrist. "We need to go."

"No," I replied automatically, my voice soft and distant.

"Come on," the anxious pixie insisted. "We have to leave; you'll attack him, if we don't."

"No," I said again, more forcefully, this time, as I tried to pull my arm free. "I won't."

"Of course you will." She pulled at my wrist.

I span my torso, finally facing her, but my expression had turned hostile. "No. I. Won't."

Alice, taken aback by the sudden shift in my mood, studied me. Her eyes traversed every inch of my face, before boring deeply into my eyes. The realisation that my response was a reply to both her remarks struck us at the same time and my eyes widened in surprise.

We have to leave.

I won't.

You'll attack him, if we don't.

I won't.

It was true. During the brief time he was stood out in the open, in the driveway of a house far from the rest of the town's population, where anything could feasibly happen to him, not once had I thought of anything other than his connection to me. There was blood-warm, rich scarlet liquid-swimming through his veins, yet I hadn't even registered his heartbeat. All my mind had focused on was the expression on his face, the memories we had shared and the way my body felt tight with sorrow at witnessing his anguish. Was that normal?

"I…" I began, sounding much like my father just had. "I just…wanna hear him."

My gaze turned longingly to the building containing my dad and the flash of hostility thrown at Alice had fizzled away long ago. All that was left was…melancholy. The need to be near, or, at least, within hearing distance of Charlie was unbelievable, but, despite not feeling the bloodlust, I would need to keep Alice's warning in mind. It would be reckless to get too close, or make him aware of my presence. As far as Charlie and the rest of Forks knew, I was missing, presumed dead by some. That thought suddenly filled me with crippling guilt and I felt the tightness in my chest increase to a point where I had to clasp the collar of my jacket and inhale deeply. That was a mistake, because the first scent to enter my nostrils was that of my dad and I couldn't take it anymore, I had to see him.

Yanking free from Alice, I sprinted for the house, using the momentum from my run to fuel a gigantic leap up to the second floor balcony of one of the bedrooms. A harshly whispered call of my name followed, but I paid it no mind. The glass door wasn't locked, so I was able to enter quietly and heard the soft landing of my petite companion almost immediately after. I span, ready to confront her, in case she tried to stop me, but her expression was calm and her eyes held a resolute gleam within the glistening irises.

"If you're determined to see Charlie," she said, quietly. "Then I won't stop you, but I am going with you and I'll need Emmett to help, should you need restraining."

I studied her expression for a moment, then nodded, but wasn't sure how we were going to get the burly vampire's attention, without drawing focus upon ourselves. She told me to wait in her bedroom, which I suddenly realised we were stood in. I thought of the time that would be wasted, before remembering just how quick Alice could be and begrudgingly complied.

In a flash, she was out the door, leaving me alone and my eyes wandered impatiently about the elegantly decorated room. My fingers drummed against my thighs, as I remained in place, praying Alice and Emmett wouldn't take too long. I was about to defy orders and simply find Charlie by myself, when a sound filtered up through the floorboards, to reach my eardrums. It was soft and hard to discern at first, so I crouched down, turning my head so that my ear was facing the floor.

It was a voice, a male voice and I recognised it right away. Carlisle was speaking and I assumed Charlie was the audience. Perhaps I wouldn't need to leave the room, after all. Focusing my hearing, I listened intently to what was being said.

"…like a drink? Tea or coffee, perhaps?" Carlisle offered, the brush of fabric signalling that he had sat down.

"No…no thanks."

God, had Charlie's voice always sounded so morose? It seemed deeper than I remembered, flatter and lacking any real personality. It seemed alien, like someone impersonating my dad, rather than being the voice of the man himself.

"I just wanted to speak with you," he continued. "Alone…if possible."

That meant they had company and a pause followed, as the other occupants of the room exited, to offer the two men privacy. To aid comfort, I took the opportunity during their silence, to shift positions and found myself lying on the floor, my ear pressed against the cool, wooden surface. Carlisle had remained seated, but the shuffling footsteps meant that Charlie had decided to remain standing.

"I'm sorry for just coming here unannounced but…" he trailed off, unsure of how to continue the sentence. He cleared his throat, before recommencing. "I don't suppose…you've heard anything?"

"I'm afraid not," Carlisle replied and I heard regret in the tone, but wasn't sure if it was genuine. I didn't want to guess what he might be regretting, if it was. "And you are welcome here any time. We all want to do whatever we can to help you."

"Yeah," Charlie murmured, absently. "Esme said."

"How is the search going?"

My dad didn't reply immediately and I could hear the deep breaths entering his nostrils. Something was clearly troubling him and I felt the tightness in my chest again. I hated to hear him so troubled by something I'd caused. Forget bloodlust or the threat of the Volturi, this was the worst consequence of my new lifestyle by far.

"They-uh-they found…" Another pause, followed by a second clearing of the throat. "They found something…in a house-"

Charlie's voice cracked at the last word and my eyes widened in alarm. No specifics had been mentioned, but it wasn't hard to guess which house he was talking about. I couldn't remember the actual events, but Carlisle had told me all about the process of my transformation from human to vampire…and where I had been when it began. But, what would have been found? Surely, the coven would have cleared away any incriminating evidence? Oh God, what if they hadn't? The place would look horrific and I could imagine the conclusions any person visiting the scene would make.

"A witness came to the station a few days ago," Charlie explained, having gained a little composure. "Said he wasn't sure if it was connected, but he'd heard noises in a street on the outskirts of Forks, around the estimated time of the disappearance. They were sounds of a… s-struggle and even a few screams." His voice was tight and clipped, and I could hear the physical pain in his words. "He'd been out walking a dog. Couldn't remember exactly which house the sounds had come from. The police searched the whole street and, eventually, came to one of the abandoned houses."

I had to close my eyes, terrified of the outcome.

"Place didn't particularly look like the scene of a crime…until they found a message on the floor…"

More quiet. What message? Carlisle hadn't told me about any messages.

"…a-and blood."

I gasped, but it wasn't from shock or surprise at what had been said, it was the sheer volume of emotion loaded within the words. Charlie was broken. I'd broken him. I could tell in his voice that he was considering the very worst of outcomes and I was possessed by a desire to start banging on the floor and screaming that I was alive, if only to cease his anguish. My fists curled and I had to pin them beneath my stomach, in order to restrain them. Fabric rustled and I could sense Carlisle's movement away from his seat. He didn't step any closer to Charlie, though.

"The officers are gonna continue searching," my Dad said, his voice so quiet that it seemed a whisper to my ears. "But…they, uh, they said I should prepare myself…" Charlie took a deep breath and, even without seeing his face, I could tell my father was facing a battle to get the words out and wondered if he'd be successful. "I should prepare myself…for the worst."

Carlisle remained silent and I tried to imagine what might be going through the mind of my mate. For my part, my still heart was cracking, splintered by the grief I heard in Charlie's tone and my left arm slid out from under my torso, in order to lay my palm flat on the wooden floor, like I was reaching out to touch him.

"Just thought you should know, too…since you…and her…"

The sobs began and I'd never seen or heard my dad cry before. It was horrible, but made all the worse by Charlie's attempts to stifle them. He had always been the strong, silent, brooding type, who took no bullshit and brokered no argument when his mind was decided. He wasn't easily swayed and, for all the times I was glad not to possess his social awkwardness, I wished to have inherited even half the courage he embodied.

"Thank you," Carlisle said, his voice soft and tone neutral. What was this doing to him, to see my dad almost breaking down in his home, when the means of Charlie's mental salvation was currently hiding a floor above them? Carlisle was such a compassionate man, that I could imagine just how deeply it would affect him and the guilt he already carried regarding my fate was going to increase tenfold. I would have to remind my angel that this wasn't his fault in any way. I refused to let my thoughts wander far enough to picture the monster, upon which all blame lay.

"And I am so sorry for all that has happened," Carlisle continued and there was no lie in his words. He may have been hiding the truth of my fate, but it didn't mean he couldn't empathise with the sorrow enveloping the man before him. After all, in one way, I very much was dead. I certainly wasn't human anymore. "I know…" Now it was the vampire's turn to falter in his speech. "I know words mean little, but they are all I have right now. I wish there was a way to bring her back, right this moment. Were there anything I could do to stop this, I'd do it. I would sacrifice anything, in return for her. I cannot imagine the pain this has caused you, but I hope you will allow me to tell you that I love her and shan't give up hope yet. She is out there and I will not rest until the person responsible has been brought to justice."

A jolt of sorrow cut through me, forcing the arm still pinned beneath me to clutch at my abdomen, as the grief turned into physical pain. The palm on the floor curled into a fist and my head turned, so that my forehead now rested on the floor, whilst my eyelids squeezed shut. The pain increased at such a drastic rate, that my mouth opened and I had to fight back a scream. I wanted to tell Charlie I was alive, that I was sorry for my selfishness, for what I had done. In that moment, I truly hated myself.

No, I reasoned, I hated him. I no longer cared what had been done to me, but the unendurable sorrow unleashed upon those I loved more than anything else was unforgivable. Fury bubbled in my veins and, echoing Carlisle's vow, I promised myself that Edward would pay. No matter what it took, I would ensure that Edward Masen suffered terribly for his crimes.

Before that, though, there was something I had to do. I couldn't let Charlie carry on, burdened by heartache, as it ate away at his soul. It wasn't fair and he didn't deserve it.

"Oh, Bella," Alice sighed, rushing towards me, as I curled up on the floor.

Hearing her approach, I jerked upright and looked the pixie square in the eye.

"Alice," I began. "I need your phone."

Her lips pursed and her immaculate brows creased into a frown that in no way diminished her beauty. "Are you sure?" she asked, her gaze locked intensely with mine.

"Absolutely," I asserted.

Alice remained still, crouched beside me, her eyes assessing me. I stared defiantly back, letting her know that I had no intention of backing down on my resolution. It must have convinced her, because she let out a soft breath, before reaching for the phone sitting in its holder on her bedside table.

"I don't know if this is a good idea," she said, handing the phone over to me. "But I understand why you're doing it…and I'll help where I can."

I nodded, before my gaze lowered to the device now in my hand. I pressed the buttons, the desired number somehow emerging from memory. Perhaps it was determination at play, but I didn't give it a lot of thought. I had a far more important goal in mind. Bringing the phone up to my ear, I listened to the distorted ringing tone, praying someone would pick up.

"Hello?" came the intended masculine voice.

I closed my eyes and braced myself for rejection. This person wasn't exactly my biggest fan nowadays, but I had to pray his affection for Charlie would be enough persuasion.

"Jacob," I replied.

He was surprised to hear from me, I could tell, although he did his best to hide it. There was a long pause, before he asked for the reason behind my call. I braced myself, ready to plead my case until I was blue in the face, if need be.

"I need your help."

A/N: So, there we are. I sincerely hope this has gone some way to make up for the long wait and apologise if not. I really hope you all enjoyed and will do my very best to have the next chapter up far quicker than this one. Thanks to all the new followers, it's a great encouragement to know people are still reading this after the long break between updates.