Chapter 51: You'll still have to play the game
"Time's up," John announced a week later. He'd called me up to his office and when he shut the door after me I knew it wasn't good news.
"Huh?" I frowned in confusion, sitting in the seat in front of his desk. John propped a hip on the desk next to me, watching me closely as he explained.
"They finally got somewhere on that investigation into how Walker knew so much about the SGC and in particular you," John explained. "Turns out one of the IOA committee members was involved as well."
"And?" I asked, knowing telling me that hadn't been why John wanted to speak to me.
"The IOA now have new membership," he revealed grimly. "The new guy is insisting on interviewing all the as he termed it 'aliens'. He's already locked Teyla and Ronon in for visits back to the SGC over the next few days." John rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. "I wanted to give you as much time as you needed to accept things but if we don't tell Colonel Carter that you were born here instead of back on Earth before the IOA start these interviews ..."
"It'll look really bad," I concluded glumly, getting up reluctantly. "Okay, I'll go tell her now."
"What about everyone else?" John asked, grabbing my hand and pulling me into him.
"God, I don't know," I leant my head against his chest wearily. "I guess I'll fill Major Lorne and the rest of my team in once I've spoken to Sam. You can tell Rodney and the others ... if you don't mind."
"They won't think any differently of you," John squeezed me tightly.
"I know," I sighed before adding, "but it's just another thing isn't it?"
"Well actually it's more like the thing that explains all the other things," John pointed out.
"Can I use that eloquent explanation with Sam?" I joked, looking up at him with a forced smile.
"It's not copyrighted – yet," John grinned smugly. "Listen, I could come with you, help you explain it to Sam."
"I appreciate the offer," I felt a genuine smile bubbling to the surface, "but I think it'll go over better if I'm not clinging to your hand like a child."
"Probably," John agreed, giving me a pat on the back before releasing me. "Off you go then ... you'll be fine."
oOo
"Uh, Sam?" I stood at her office door uncertainly. "Have you got a minute?"
"Sure Sabina," Sam smiled. "Come in."
"Okay," I sat down across from her, obviously apprehensive, trying to work out how best to begin.
"You can talk to me you know," Sam said gently. "I don't bite."
"I know," I acknowledged, "I'm just not sure how to start. Ah ... so when the Ancients took back Atlantis last year the leader, Helia, was very interested in my background, especially the gene power's I'd inherited. I spent a lot of time talking with her second, Caritas, about the Lantean genes as well as the Wraith ones and about how the anti replicator protein was matched to the Wraith DNA so I'd get that protection if the nanite virus was reintroduced. Caritas and Helia were both amazed that the link had survived through ten thousand years, but they put it down to the success of their genetic design. Only it turns out there's another explanation for all of that." I stopped for a second to work myself up for the punch line. "During the years when the Lanteans were heavily involved in the war with the Wraith there was a severe outbreak of Kirsan fever ... it affected babies and children alike, even some of the adults. In the confusion a baby was stolen from the infirmary and never heard of again. I ah ... I've pretty much confirmed that I am that baby."
"What?" Sam sat forward abruptly, looking at me with an expression I hoped didn't mean she thought I was crazy. "How? Why?"
"I don't know the why yet," I admitted. "I stumbled across a reference in the Ancient library for using the Hologram Room to make contact with an Ascended Ancient – to ask for guidance. I tried it out not really expecting it to work and eventually found myself talking to someone called Diamantia – she said she removed me from the past because I need to be here now, that all the humans in the galaxy will suffer if I don't fulfil my purpose."
"I don't suppose she told you what that purpose was?" Sam commented grimly.
"Ah – not really, no," I replied apologetically.
"I'm not discounting what you've told me," Sam said thoughtfully, "but for you to have travelled to the future goes against everything we believe about the nature of time itself."
"Diamantia explained that too," I responded. "She said that my future is her past ... in fact she said that our present is her past too. That's the reason the other Ascendeds haven't cottoned on to her interference – because of the separation of place and time as she put it."
"But surely if your origins are Lantean instead of Earth we would have discovered it before now?" Sam asked. "Didn't Doctor Becket do a full DNA analysis for you when you first came to Atlantis?"
"Not as far as I know," I offered. "He tested the sectors where the ATA gene resides and of course found that I had it – I think that's when he found the anti replicator protein too , and then later he matched up the Wraith DNA based on Teyla's DNA. He must have found a few things of interest because he spoke to Doctor Lam back at the SGC about me but it was mainly to do with the ATA/Wraith gene link. I haven't actually spent that much time in the infirmary, apart from my one stint recently. I'm not sure I've ever had anything done that would have made a Doctor suspicious – Lantean and human physiology is pretty similar, especially on the surface. Doctor Beckett didn't know Chia was an Ancient until Rodney tricked her into revealing herself."
"That does make sense," Sam agreed. "How long have you known about this?"
"Since we came back from Earth," I admitted a bit guiltily. "John wanted me to tell you but he didn't think a little time to get used to the idea would hurt anyone. To be honest I still don't know what to make of this ... the only reason I'm telling you now is because of this new IOA push to interview all the aliens. Not that I consider myself an alien – I was raised on Earth and something that happened so long ago isn't going to change who I am. I just didn't want this to come back and hurt John, or you, if we weren't up front before the IOA gets started."
"I appreciate you coming forward like this Sabina," Sam replied. "Leave it with me for now ... I'll inform the SGC and the IOA and I'll let you know if they want to speak to you personally."
"Thanks Sam," I got up feeling much lighter than I had when I'd sat down, relieved to have the conversation out of the way.
"You'll let me know as soon as you learn any more about this purpose Diamantia spoke of," Sam instructed firmly.
"Of course," I agreed. "Although to be honest I don't know how I'm going to find out any more than I already know. I've got nothing to go on and Diamantia said she couldn't speak to me again before whatever's gonna happen happens."
"She didn't give you any clues on the timing?" Sam asked curiously.
"Nothing obvious to me," I replied. I felt a pang of guilt at deliberately keeping Diamantia's comment about a companion being taken by the Wraith to myself. I wasn't doing that because she'd told me to – I was doing it because I had no way of knowing who that companion was likely to be. John wouldn't be able to prevent that from happening but he could ground me so I couldn't be with them. I wasn't sure I believed what Diamantia said about my purpose but if it happened the way she'd said and my being there helped save one of our own then I had to make sure I had the opportunity.
"Okay," Sam nodded. "I'll let you know what the response is from Earth."
Thanking Sam again I hurried from her office, keen to catch up with John.
oOo
John was conducting a training session by the time I got done so I couldn't see him until dinner ... and then it would be a team Sheppard affair. In the interim I tracked down Major Lorne and the rest of my team, keen to get it over with now I'd been forced to reveal what I'd learned about myself. Rather than search the city looking for them I radioed everyone individually and asked them to meet me in one of the smaller, rarely used, conference rooms.
They were all sitting around the table waiting for me when I rushed in deliberately a few minutes late.
"Guys," I said, sitting down and attempting a casual smile. I was nervous ... not because I really thought I'd get a less than favourable response but because I wasn't ready to be 'an Ancient' and after I'd told them there'd be no going back.
"Sabina?" Evan looked at me in concern, easily picking up on my nervousness.
"I ah ... I'm just going to blurt this out," I announced. "You guys all know that I was adopted right?" Parker and Brown both nodded without saying anything. "Okay, well, I was actually abandoned at birth and I never knew my birth parents. When John and I were on Earth recently I did some digging to see if I could find out about them – there were reasons for that but they're not really important right now. Anyway, I ah ... I managed to find my adoption record and it was ... vague." Realising that I was rambling and not doing a very good job of explaining the background I paused to regroup.
Looking at Evan I started again. "Remember that discovery I mentioned when we were waiting for Atlantis to contact us ... on M7G-677? The one I said I had to tell John about first?"
"I had other concerns at the time," Evan reminded me the situation had been a lot direr than I was making it sound. "But sure – I remember something like that being said."
"Well, the discovery was a way to talk to Ascended Ancients through the hologram room," I revealed. "I tried it and I actually spoke to one. She said things that made me question my origins and then after we got back from Earth I spoke to her again. This is where it gets really interesting. Diamantia ... that's her name ... she ah ... she said she stole me from my birth parents and took me to Earth and gave me to the Scott's."
"Stole you from where?" Evan frowned in confusion.
"From here ... from Atlantis," I replied. "Only it wasn't now ... it was 10,000 years ago."
There was silence for a moment before Parker decided to comment.
"That makes you really, really old, doesn't it?" he said with a straight face, making me laugh in spite of the situation.
"I hadn't really thought about it like that but I guess in a way it does," I returned. "Thanks for pointing that out."
"You're welcome," Parker grinned. "You know how I like to be helpful."
"So you've got an Ancient name then?" Brown queried after another moments pause.
"You're not calling me anything other than Sabina," I shot him a warning glance, "so there's really no point in telling you what my birth name was."
"Tell us anyway," Lorne practically ordered.
"I'm not telling you," I returned stubbornly.
"We'll just find out some other way," Parker pointed out.
"No you won't," I shot back. "And you can't tell anyone else about this yet," I almost pleaded. "I ah ... I know it'll get out eventually but I'm not ready to be a curiosity just yet."
"You were worried about how we'd take this weren't you?" Evan asked, his expression bland.
"No!" I returned instantly. "I trust you guys so no ... but once I start admitting to being someone born on Atlantis 10,000 years ago it's real ... and it has to change things. I don't know how yet but accepting that this is all true changes me ... I'm not who I thought I was anymore."
"You are to us," Parker said simply.
"Yeah," Brown seconded that quickly. "I don't care where you were born."
"Thank you," I smiled at each of my team mates gratefully. "Look ... I'll get used to this eventually. I just wanted you guys to know first because Colonel Carter has to report what I've told you to the SGC and the IOA ... their new membership is making some kind of push to evaluate the 'aliens'. God forbid they label me as one but it could happen."
"We won't let them take you anywhere," Brown promised.
"I'm not sure any of us will get the choice," I admitted. Not liking the downturn in the mood I smiled gamely. "So anyway, that's the news and ah ... thanks for listening."
Parker and Brown got up, each slapping my shoulder companionably as they walked out, talking about some football game they'd got on DVD in the last shipment from Earth. Evan loitered, waiting until they'd disappeared before speaking.
"This was what you were worried about?" he asked.
"Yeah," I agreed. "You were right though ... John laughed when I admitted I was worried it might change things."
"It won't," Evan reaffirmed. "Not with the people who count."
"I know," I smiled, all at once feeling more comfortable with my situation. I didn't have to accept everything right there and then and I didn't have to let it change how I looked at the world. What I did have to do was work out how to use it ... how to make something out of events contrived without my free will. How to make my birth parent's unwitting sacrifice have meaning.
"What happened to your parents?" Evan asked, "your birth parents?" It was something John and I had skirted around so far and Evan's question forced me to think about it right there and then.
"I found them in the Ancient database, but ...," I shook my head sadly. "I don't know Evan. They were in there ... I was in there but ... there were no personal details. They lost a baby that was never found ... that's all I know."
"I'm sure they missed you," Evan said softly.
"Well I hope not too much," I replied, causing him to frown. "Who wants to know that not being there made someone miserable for the rest of their lives?" I asked, trying to explain. "I'd much rather believe they grieved for a time and then went on with their lives ... just like I've had to. I mean - they would have gotten over it eventually, right?"
"No," Lorne returned, understanding immediately what I was alluding to. "I'm pretty sure you never get over the loss of a child. But did they learn to live with it? Did they find happiness in other areas of their lives? I think so."
"I think so too," I replied.
oOo
With my own team successfully 'in the know' all that remained was for me to find out how John's team had taken the news.
"Hey Sabina," Rodney greeted me smartly when I arrived at their table for dinner, "or should we be calling you Carus now?"
"Not if you want me to respond," I retorted, sliding into the seat next to John with a raised brow. "You told them the name thing too?"
"I filled them in on your latest discovery," John confirmed. "Rodney's not really going to start calling you Carus," he pinned Rodney with a warning look, wordlessly demanding Rodney agree.
"Ah ... no, no I'm not," Rodney gulped and looked both nervous and apologetic all at the same time.
"Having origins in the Pegasus galaxy is another thing we can share in common," Teyla offered graciously. "I am saddened for the parents you never knew ... I believe they would have been proud of what you've accomplished without them to guide you."
"Thanks Teyla," I smiled gratefully.
"Always knew you were too good to be a mere human," Ronon quipped, directly a teasing grin John's way.
"I wouldn't put it like that," I retorted, "but in a way I'm kind of relieved there's a much simpler reason for all that weird DNA and blood stuff."
"You call kidnapping and time travel to the future simple?" Rodney asked incredulously.
"It's a neat explanation," I persisted before trying to change the subject. "I know this is big news but can we just go back to me being Sabina Sheppard now?"
"For now," Teyla agreed. "But I fear you will not be able to bury your true origins forever."
"I'm going to give it a damn good try," I returned, deliberately ignoring the concerned look John was giving me. Telling his team and mine and resolving to accept it, to make something of it was one thing ... having the whole city talking about it was something else entirely and I was so not ready to go there.
"You know what this means, don't you?" Rodney had that teasing look on his face, this time directed at John.
"No Rodney," John retorted with exaggerated patience. "What does it mean?"
"You actually did end up with the hot alien!" Rodney laughed when everyone groaned at his poor jest.
"I think I'll take that as a compliment," I decided with a rueful laugh. "Anyway, if you believe all of this then this is my home turf."
"So?" Rodney looked at me in confusion.
"So you really should be saying it the other way – that I ended up with the hot alien," I pointed out with a mischievous look at John.
"All right," John said firmly as the others laughed again. "Can we change the subject now, please?"
The others let me off the hook and dinner returned to its usual pattern.
oOo
Of course it wasn't going to be as easy as that. The day before Teyla was due on Earth for her IOA interview I received what could only be classed as an order for an interview of my own. It was going to be Teyla first, then me and then Ronon.
"I can't believe they're doing this," I'd rushed straight down to John's office as soon as Sam had let me know and was pacing around because I had too much nervous energy inside to sit down. "They're treating me like I'm not even from Earth. It's insulting!"
"I'll speak to Colonel Carter," John promised grimly, just as annoyed as I was.
"She won't be able to stop this interview thing," I said despondently.
"No," John agreed, "but she can speak with General O'Neill, make sure the IOA can't revoke your placement here or reassign you somewhere else. Then it's just a case of you humouring them."
"God I didn't even think of that!" I exclaimed. "Is that a risk for Teyla and Ronon as well?"
"Only in an official capacity," John clarified. "It's not like the IOA can order us not to be friends anymore."
"Can you speak to Sam straight away?" I looked at him pleadingly. "We need to make sure I'm safe because I really don't think I can go back to Earth unless I've got some kind of promise."
"I won't let them keep you there," John made a promise of his own. "In any case, if they try something like that on the basis that you're Lantean then you can equally claim the Pegasus galaxy as your home for exactly the same reason. It'd be pretty stupid on their part to push that line."
"You're right," that thought actually did cheer me up a little, not that I wanted to claim another galaxy as my home if it meant I'd have to give up ties to Earth.
"I'll talk to Carter," John promised again.
oOo
Teyla took her almost seven month pregnant self through the Stargate to the midway station the next day. As if it wasn't enough to waste time going to Earth in the first place, first we'd have to waste 24 hours in quarantine, and then another 24 hours on the way back. I went about my usual routine for the four days Teyla was away, getting more and more apprehensive the closer it got to her return, because her return would signal my departure.
I was in the Control Room when she dialled in from Midway, and waited impatiently to speak with her while she filled Sam and John in on her visit.
"Teyla," I called when she walked from Sam's office a few minutes later.
"Sabina," Teyla greeted me with a smile.
"How'd it go?" I asked hopefully.
"It was an interesting experience," Teyla replied diplomatically. "The new IOA member, Mr Coolidge, was just as Sam cautioned he would be. I believe that I was able to convince him of my continuing importance on Atlantis, although he appeared to be distracted by the fact that I am pregnant."
"Great," I muttered sarcastically. "A male chauvinist – that's gonna work in my favour - not."
"You will do fine," Teyla insisted. "In fact I have something that should ease your mind considerably."
"What is it?" I asked with a puzzled frown.
"A note from General O'Neill," Teyla reached into a pocket and pulled out a sealed envelope. "General Landry assured me this would see you much happier to go along with the IOA's agenda."
"Thanks Teyla," I took the note and opened it straight away, smiling as soon as I'd got the gist of what it contained.
"Sabina," Jack had written. "Consider this your get out of jail free card. You can pass go but don't expect the IOA to be handing out anything anywhere near as useful as $200. Give me a call when you get done – we'll have cake. Jack."
"It is good news?" Teyla looked at me curiously.
"I was worried they'd revoke my position here," I admitted with a self depreciating shrug. "General O'Neill has given me his assurance that won't happen. So yeah, it's good news."
"When do you depart?" Teyla asked.
"An hour," I said unenthusiastically. "Just enough time for me to say goodbye to John and grab my gear. I'll catch up with you when I get back – we can compare notes."
"Of course," Teyla agreed. "I believe John is attempting to get your attention."
"What?" glancing over my shoulder I smiled when I saw John standing outside Sam's office waving at me. "See you later," I called to Teyla as I headed over to John. "Time to say goodbye?" I asked glumly.
"Come on," John urged. "I'll carry your bag."
It was just an excuse of course, John helping me with my gear so we could go back to our quarters for a private goodbye.
"General O'Neill came through with that guarantee," I told John once we were behind closed doors. "That's one less thing I have to worry about."
"You'll still have to play the game," John reminded me. "Just answer their questions as briefly as you can – don't give them anything they haven't asked for."
"You already told me this," I said, amused in a warm and fuzzy way at his 'take care of me' approach. "I think you can find a better use for my time."
"I'm sure I can," John smiled, pulling me into him and then dipping me low to the floor.
"What are you doing?" I asked, laughing as I clung to him tightly.
"Making sure you have something to think about during your interview," John said innocently, kissing me lightly as he pulled me up again. He spun me away from him before bringing me back in against his chest sharply.
"This will certainly do the trick," I agreed, keeping my arm strong around him. "They might think I'm insane though it I spend the whole time grinning to myself."
"I'm sure you'll be able to control yourself," John quipped before letting the humour drop from his face. He looked down at me, his eyes dark and serious. "Don't let them make you feel less than you are," he ordered. Before I could think of a response he was kissing me purposefully, making me feel like I was his whole world. He had me lost in those feelings to the point that I groaned and tried to keep him with me when he made to pull away.
"Not yet," I pleaded.
"We don't have time for everything I'd like to be doing right now," John ran his hands down my back, aligning us in all the right places just in case I was in doubt as to his meaning. "Everything I will be doing just as soon as you get back."
"I'll hold you to that," I promised. "I won't care what you're doing at the time ... it could be very embarrassing for you."
"I'll make myself available," John promised in return.
Wordlessly I gathered up my bag and took John's hand, letting him lead me from our room and all the way to the Gateroom.
Throwing him a confident wave and a 'see you later' I stepped through the wormhole.
Author's Note:
Next Up? Fortunate Journey Season 4 Chapter 52