The Other Side of the Story: John's Point of View

Interlude 13: I shot her

Carson led us through the complex without us finding any resistance, until we turned a corner and were greeted with P-90 gun fire from two mercenaries guarding an open doorway. Diving for cover I glanced around at Carson.

"I'm tired of getting shot at with our own guns," I grated out irritably.

"I'm generally not fond of it regardless of the weapon," Carson replied.

I ducked low, firing a rapid burst that took down one of the guards. Ronon blasted the other and the coast was clear. Proceeding cautiously we moved slowly into the room.

"Hello! Is anyone there?" The voice issued from further inside the room. "You must help us!"

"D'you hear that?" Ronon looked at me with a raised brow.

"Is that Halling?" Rodney queried incredulously.

Moving quicker we headed towards the source. "Halling?" I called out when we were close enough to see a locked door ahead.

"Colonel! Through here!" Halling shouted, prompting us to run towards him. "Colonel Sheppard. It is very good to see you."

"Likewise, my friend," I smiled at him through the bars before stepping back so Ronon could shove the door open.

"Are you all right?" Carson rushed forward in concern, with good cause. They were bruised and looked half starved ... and more than half way to beaten.

"We're fine – those of us that are left," Halling replied. "Teyla said you would come."

"Where is she?" I'd already done a survey of their group and knew that both Teyla and Sabina were absent.

"Michael has taken her," Halling revealed urgently. "You must go after her."

"What about Sabina," I asked quickly. "Did you see Sabina?"

"I am sorry Colonel," Halling said compassionately. "Michael brought only Teyla to see us. There was little time to speak of anything before he came for her."

"Oh, okay," I felt blank for a moment and unsure what to make of that. Shaking myself back to the present I looked up at Halling. "Take your people. We'll meet you in a little while."

"It doesn't mean anything you know," Rodney ran beside me as we followed Carson towards the central lab.

"What doesn't?" I shot a glance at Rodney before looking forward again.

"That Halling hasn't seen Sabina," Rodney clarified. "Michael wouldn't see it as a way to coerce her – he was using them to torment Teyla."

I said nothing, just nodded once and then picked up the speed a little.

Carson looked exhausted by the time we ran into the lab – a creepy vault of a room with racks upon racks of shadowy outlines obscured behind thick plastic.

"My God," Carson intoned, looking around with a horrified expression. Moving over to the nearest platform he reached in and felt for a pulse. "They're dead," he confirmed.

There was a table in the centre of the room that gave us all an ominous feeling, looking too much like the Wraith version of an obstetrician's set up. An empty syringe completed the picture and I had to caution Rodney not to think the worst.

There was no sign of Sabina ... "but it doesn't mean anything," I told myself firmly.

We didn't get the chance to search far beyond that lab ... more enemy fire converged on our position, this time Wraith stunner blasts from the upper level. We took cover as the ones responsible ran down the stairs for cover of their own. Upstairs they were replaced with more guys with P-90's dividing our attention.

"I don't mean to rush this, but I'm picking up an energy reading," Rodney called out urgently. "Someone's firing up the ship!"

We fired in tandem, trying to flush the enemy out. In the background I heard Rodney calling out for Carson but I couldn't take attention away from the fight long enough to see why. I had to focus on getting rid of these guys – they were standing between me and the chance of finding Sabina and Teyla.

Rodney managed to take out the upstairs mercenary but the downstairs ones were proving stubborn and I could almost hear the clock ticking on stopping the Cruiser from taking off. We needed something else – glancing quickly out of my cover position I spotted just the thing.

"Take a look," I said to Ronon. "East wall. Those things look like gas containers?"

"Yeah," Ronon agreed. "Worth a shot."

"You take the tanks, I'll pin them down with cover fire," I instructed. As one we surged up out of hiding, executing the plan with precision until the roaring gas had knocked the mercenaries off their feet. Before they could get back up Ronon and I had finished them off.

Looking for Rodney I demanded an update. "Where's Beckett?"

"This way," Rodney pointed forwards. We ran through the complex until we reached a section with a second level walkway. I saw him immediately, Carson lying unconscious with two felled hybrid guards nearby.

Ronon and I took care of disarming them while Rodney ran to Carson, shaking him awake.

"What happened?" Carson was at first disorientated.

"You ran off – that's what happened," Rodney explained irritably.

"Teyla," Carson looked at me, "Sabina."

"Did you see them?" I demanded.

"Oh, no," Carson looked at me in horror, not the expression I needed to see right then.

Before I could quiz him though, the roar of an engine resounded from outside the building, loud enough that it seemed to shake the whole structure.

"What the hell is that?" Ronon demanded.

"It's the ship!" Rodney returned grimly.

I had Ronon stay to help Carson down while Rodney and I pursued the ship. A rapid descent down a flight of stairs and through an external door and we were just in time to see Michael's cruiser lift up into the sky.

"Damn it!" I yelled, slamming my clenched fist against the doorframe before leaning my forehead against the wall with a pained groan. I felt the disappointment like a physical pain, like an elastic band clenched around my chest.

I had to get out of there.

Shrugging off Rodney's hesitant hand on my shoulder, I surged out the door and down towards the trees.

Kicking at tree stumps wasn't satisfying and I'm pretty sure only made me look ridiculous but it did ease the pressure in my chest a little. Slumping down against a tree trunk I stared blankly into the forest, wondering what the hell I should do next.

"How're you doing lad?" Carson's footfalls announced his presence before he sat down next to me.

"Wishing I had a set of golf clubs so I could beat the crap out of something," I returned with grim humour. "How're you doing?"

"I came to apologise," Carson ignored my enquiry about his health. "Michael had a way of getting me to do things even when I'd resolved I wouldn't cooperate. I thought it was just a combination of the drugs he was feeding me and the fears because he held Atlantis as a threat over my head every single day. Only it wasn't ... he did something to me. I had the gun pointed right at him, had the clear shot but I couldn't do it. I could hear his voice in my head telling me not to shoot ... I wanted to but ... I didn't."

"It's not your fault," I excused lightly.

"There's more Colonel," Carson said despondently. "I saw Sabina too. She'd managed to get free and snuck up behind Michael – put a gun to his head as calm as you please. You'd have been proud if you could have seen her face down Michael like that."

"So why isn't she still here then?" I knew this was the bit that had put that horrified look on Carson's face and I wasn't sure I wanted to find out why.

"I shot her," Carson said it forcefully, his face screwed up with misery. "Michael's voice was in my head, demanding over and over. Shoot her. Kill her. I tried to resist but he wouldn't stop, like a knife twisting in my head. I couldn't help myself. I had to obey."

"How bad?" I asked starkly.

"Shoulder wound, right side, mostly ... hopefully a flesh wound," Carson admitted. "My hand was shaking so much and I never was that good a shot."

"She's gonna be steamed," I looked over at him with a forced smile. "Same shoulder she took a Replicator spike in a couple of months back."

"I am so sorry Colonel," Carson said again, looking like he was about to cry. I couldn't hold him responsible ... he was as much a victim as anyone.

"Not your fault," I said again. "We wouldn't have been here at all without your help." We sat for a few minutes in silence before I roused myself to action, opening a channel so I could get things moving. "Ronon, round up all the prisoners – we'll take them back to Atlantis for questioning. I'm heading back to search that place from top to bottom – maybe there's a clue in there somewhere."

oOo

There wasn't, and no trace of Teyla or Sabina either, forcing me to return to Atlantis empty handed again. I could barely contain the frustration I felt at being so close to Sabina but having the chance to rescue her slip through my fingers. It had taken too long to take out Michael's forces, his hybrids proving smarter and more resilient than I would have imagined ... something else that worried me. How many of those things did Michael have under his command? How many were on the ship with Sabina and Teyla?

"We have made progress," Colonel Carter insisted later when I stopped in at her office to find out how the Athosian's were doing.

"Not that I'm unhappy seeing Halling and the others again," I returned, expression grim, "but it's not exactly a consolation Colonel ... the longer this goes on the ...," I broke off, unable to say it.

"I know this is difficult John but at this point I think we can assume that Michael will keep them both alive," Sam offered.

"He wanted Carson to kill her!" I shot back, the stark reality of that making my voice choppy and harsh.

"I'm not so sure that's really what Michael wanted," Sam suggested. "He's worked with Carson for two years ... he knows what Beckett is capable of. More than likely Michael just wanted Carson to know that he could control him ... could still force him to do his bidding even without being a captive."

"Mind games?" I suggested, frowning as I tried to convince myself that was all it had been. Believing otherwise would only have me imagining Sabina at the whim of every hybrid Michael controlled, living on the edge every second of every day. I couldn't do that day in day out and focus on getting her back so I did my best to buy into Sam's belief.

oOo

As if the situation with Sabina wasn't bad enough, another difficult situation awaited us a few hours after our return. Carson was sinking too fast to find the formula he needed and he'd agreed to Jennifer's stasis pod idea. Rodney was distraught to lose his friend for the second time but doing a surprisingly good job of hiding it, even with Carson's self diagnosis that entry into that pod was probably a one way deal.

It was difficult to stand there and watch him say goodbye, although I guess on the plus side this time he actually was getting the chance to do that. When he stopped in front of me, hand outstretched I shook it firmly.

"Don't you worry, Doc," I reassured him. "We're gonna have you out of there in no time."

"Colonel. You bring her home, now, you understand?" he urged intently. "You bring them both home."

"Count on it," I promised, earning a nod from him in return.

The others said their goodbyes too and then there was nothing left but for Carson to step inside the chamber.

"I want you all to know that seeing you again these last few days – it was all worth it, no matter what happens," he looked at us all with a smile.

On agreement with Rodney that this wasn't goodbye, he raised a hand. "See you all later."

It was disturbing to see the stasis field sweep over Carson, leaving behind his frozen figure, and it felt like that goodbye Rodney had been so determined not to say. Leaving the room mutely I walked aimlessly until I ended up on the East Pier. It was easy to picture Sabina there, sitting on the edge with her legs dangling over the side.

Sitting down beside her spot I looked out over the ocean and thought. Carson was in a stasis pod and we had multiple prisoners to interrogate but nothing concrete to pursue. It felt like we were settling in for the long haul, like the urgency of the past week had run out and we'd given up on finding Sabina and Teyla quickly.

My soul felt heavy as I acknowledged that it could be weeks before I was reunited with my wife ... although I promised myself that it would happen – I would see her again.

Authors Note:

Next Up? Fortunate Journey Season 4 Chapter 57