Cartman sat alone in his dark room on the floor, looking down to the ground.
'How could I do this?'
He looked to his hands,
'What the fuck happened to me?!' Cartman tightened his fists in anger.
Angry at himself.
A thought of Rick came to his mind.
'I'm becoming him' he realized.
Cartman put his hands into his face.
He didnt ask for this.
Sure he'd been a bad kid, you know,
he lied, cheated, made a kid eat his parents but who hasent?
Cartman wiped his tears from his cheeks.
'Kyle doesnt deserve this.'
Cartman sniffled, 'How could I HURT him?
How could I do that?' he repeated over and over in his mind.
He was sickened by himself, discusted.
'The guy who puts up with my shit for two fucking years..
The guy that only wants to help me..
and I hit him.'
Cartman shoke his head.
He still couldnt fucking believe it.
It was like something toke over him that he had no control over it.
It just sort of happened, just like that.
Cartman glanced accross his room and was a whisky bottle.
He narrowed his eyes, "This is your fucking fault" he sneered.
Kyle touched the side of his Cartman punched him,
It stung like a bitch.
Kyle sighed, clenching his eyes shut, even when shut he could feel his
eyes becomming watery.
'I was just trying to help..' his mind repeated.
Kyle sniffed from his stuffy nose and leaned forward ringing the doorbell.
Hopefully Stan would answer..
It would be really embarresing if someone else did and saw him crying.
He heard footsteps comming to the door and it swung open.
Stan saw Kyle and his eyes went wide seeing a big red mark on the side of his friend's face.
"Kyle.. what happened?!"
Kyle sobbed a little, looking down then looked back up to him.
"C.. Cartman punched me.."
"Oh my god.. Come in!" he urged moving out of the way.
Kyle slowly walked in and up the stairs,
"Mom?! Can you get some ice upstairs?"
Stan yelled into the kitchen,
She came out "Why?"
"Kyle got hurt.."
"Oh.. Yes I will."
"Thanks" Stan sprinted up the stairs.
Stan rushed inside, and shut the door behind him, then onto next
to Kyle to comfort him,
"What happened?" Stan asked immediatly.
Kyle sobbed and kept his head down, and sniffled from a stuffed nose.
"Um.. Cartman had pills.. that fell out of his bag. I, I told him that he needed to
get help and he got angry, I kept pressing on, so I guess he hit me."
"You guess he hit you?"
"Yeah.. Maybe if I didnt keep going.. Maybe -"
Stan toke a hold of Kyle's arms "No Kyle" he said firmly.
"You are not blameing this on yourself.
This is his fucking fault."
Kyle looked down and sobbed again.
The door swung open and Sharron came in with ice in a paper towel.
"Here you go Kyle.." She placed the ice on his face.
Kyle smiled and greatfully toke it.
"Wow, What happened?"
"Cartman -"
"CARTMAN, Tried to save me, while playing dodgeball and he missed"
Kyle interupted and shrugged "I got hit"
"Oh, well thats too bad"
Stan looked at Kyle unbelieveable.
"Well, I'll leave you boys alone now" Sharron said, and walked out with a basket of laundry
she came in with.
"Dude.." Stan stared.
"WHat?"
"Why did you lie?"
"About what?" he asked
Stan rolled his eyes, "Shut up, you know exactly about what"
Kyle looked down then back to him slowly,
"I dont want him to get in trouble.."
Stan frowned and stod up from his bed
"WHY?! Kyle he fucking hit you!"
"I know.. But dude, you know Cartman's step dad"
"So?! That fatass deserves to get the shit kicked out of him for what he did to you!"
Kyle stod up defensively, "Cartman's got a lot worse marks stan.."
"Doesnt give him a right! and why the fuck are you deffending him?!
"I'm not I just.." Kyle paused, then looked down. He had no words to say.
Stan undid his frown, "Kyle listen to me.." Stan said in a lower soft tone and guided him
to his bed.
"You need to break up with him dude."
Kyle frowned, "Stan, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS" Kyle sneered sternly.
"I know, But he fucking hurt you!"
"..He was mad"
"Cartman's almost always mad, and he's never hit you till now"
Kyle rolled his head, "Its not that simple dude, You know, he's going through His parents argueing,
He's addicted to drinking -"
"Make all the excuses you want Kyle! It still come's down to who he is NOW.
And its his own fucking fault he's addicted.
Kyle, as your best friend I'm telling you.. Stay the fuck away from him.
If he hits you now, what makes you think he wont do it again?"
Kyle stared at him.
"He said he was sorry -"
"Those are just words Kyle."
Kyle looked down to the floor a few seconds..
"I'm sorry."
Kyle looked to him, "I'm sorry, I cant do this"
He said getting up from Stan's bed and walking to the door.
"What?"
Kyle turned to him, "I cant break up with him.. I'm sorry I.. I just Cant" Kyle quickly turned away and left.
Kenny was playing his gameboy advantace takeing turns with his brother,
"Kenny its my turn! give it here!" Kevin tried grabbing the game out of Kenny's hands.
Kenny turned away shoving him off eyes glued to the game, "No Kevin, Fuck off"
"But mom said-"
"Mom's not here"
Kevin's eyes started getting watery, he heard his little brother sniffle
and Kenny looked up from the game a meer second, he saw his 9 year old brother
of the bridge of tears, Kenny rolled his eyes and reached inside his orange sweatshirt
and toke out his marlboro pack of ciggerates, He swaped one out, with a lighter,
"Here" He held a cig and lighter out to him.
"Now go away" Kenny said refocousing his eyes onto the game tappping the buttons.
Kevin smiled and snatched the cig and lighter from his brother's hand and rushed out their front
door. Kevin stole ciggerates from his parents anyway, Not long after Kenny started bribing him
with them to do something.
Kenny kept tapping away with his fingers then heard the door knock.
"Come in" he yelled.
A door swung open and Stan came inside with his blue leather football jacket and Jeans,
Putting his hands in his pocket, "Uh, Kenny you know your little brother is smokeing outside right?"
"Yeah" Kenny said without looking up from the screen.
"Uh.. do you care?"
Kenny shrugged "Nah. I was his age when I started."
Stan stared at him, then glarred.
He honestly always felt bad for Kenny growning up, his parents dont give
a shit what he did.. And now his brother is smokeing outside.
Stan walked and sat next to Kenny's who's eyes stayed glued onto his game boy.
"Dude.. Kyle came over today"
"Really?" Kenny asked eyes still on the game and tapping his fingers to the buttons,
"What happened?"
Stan sighed closeing his eyes and looked back to Kenny who was still playing his game.
Stan frrowned, "Dude, can you put that game down for one fucking second?"
Kenny paused the game and raised his eyebrow at him, "Sheesh. you never fuckin asked.
How was I suppose to know?"
"Sorry It's just.. Ok, Kyle came over today.. and he said.. well he said Cartman hit him.
Kenny's eyes went wide "What?!"
"Yeah, just today after school"
Kenny face fell "WHY?!"
"I dont know! I asked Kyle but.. wait, he said something about
pills falling out of Cartman's bag and Kyle trying to help him, then
Cartman got pissed off and.. yeah."
Kenny's eyes were still wide, "What Kinda pills were they?"
Stan rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall,
"I dunno dude.."
Kenny looked down then his eyes traveled back up to Stan's metting his,
"He's worse then I thought.. and what I thought was pretty fucking bad.."
Stan sat next to Kenny on the couch, "I know.." Stan put his head down.
"What did Kyle say?"
Stan sighed, "The usual. Excuses. He said, Maybe he did something wrong, or maybe
It was just the alcohol, and that Cartman was going through a hard time.."
Kenny looked at the ceiling thoughtfully, "He is going through a hard time.." he said slowly.
Stan frowned, "KENNY! Dont tell me your falling for that crap!"
Kenny shrugged "What?"
"JUST BEACUSE some's going through a hard time doesnt give them a right to hurt
people!" he shouted.
Kenny stared to the ground.
"You.. you shouldve seen the mark on Kyle's face..." Stan looked down also.
Kenny looked up to him, "It was like.. pure red Kenny. Kyle loves him so much.. How could he do that?"
Stan asked unbelievably, asking more to himself then Kenny.
Kenny frowned ancd stod up from the couch, stomped to the door
"Kenny?"
Kenny slamed the door before he could respond.
Flic On,
Flic off.
Flic ON
Flic off.
Cartman watched the fire of his lighter flic on,
then off. Over and over again.
He feld the burning flames next to his face, almost close enough.
Flic ON,
Flic off.
'I hurt him..'
He repteated in his head.
'I fucking hit him with my bear god damn fucking hand'
Flic ON,
Flic off.
Cartman looked to his hand,
'I should fucking burn it..'
He saught revenge on himself.
He put his fist next into the flames and yanked it away at the fiery touch.
'I deserve to get burned...'
He kept replaying the look on his boyfriend's face when he punched him.
Actually Punched him.
It wouldnt go away, like this sad heart breaking shock.
It couldnt escape from Cartman's mind.
Flic on,
Flic off.
He sighed and sat back against his bed.
"Who am I?" he whispered.
he put the bottle he had in his other hand aside and his lighter next
to it and got to his feet walking to his dresser.
Cartman looked at himself in the mirror.
The room was almost pitch black, but you could still see somethings if you looked
hard enough.. Cartman felt lightheaded as he leaned himself closer to the mirrior to get a
better look, concidering he was half drunk it was hard to keep foucs.
Cartman stared his reflection.
His shaggy brown hair, brown eyes, An oversized Grey shirt..
It was him.. but it wasent.
Cartman frowned and without thinking smashed his fist into the mirrior and glass
shaddered onto the ground, Cartman looked down to the ground where the broken bits of
glass laid and slowly bent his legs down to his knees then sat down, still stareing at the bits of glass,
Then put his hands to his face and started to cry.
His face got hot and he could feel warm tears treaming down his cheeks.
He was sitting on glass but he didnt care, Cartman sniffled and wipped his nose with his shirt bottem.
Then felt a prickle on his ass from one of the glass pieces, and quickly got off and grabbed it.
Cartman stared at the razor sharp piece of glass in his hand and then saw his reflection
In the piece and gripped the glass tighter,
Stareing at the person he hated. The person he become.
The guy who would fucking punch his boyfriend accross the face,
At that thought Cartman toke the piece of glass and scraped it accross his other arm,
His flesh ripped open and blood apeared to fill in, Cartman felt angry again, and cut himself
again, this time Harder and deeper, Tears were still streaming down his face,
He cut again, and again, and again, cutting out his anger in rage and yet crying at the same time,
He cut himself faster feeling the pain get stronger and stronger as the blood streamed down his arm,
"You fucking deserve this, You hit kahl with this hand.. you fucking hit him!" Cartman screamed as his cuts went
faster and faster and faster, A door opened behind him but he didnt stop.
"What the -"
"Cartman? Cartman?!"
Cartman kept cutting, and cutting, faster and faster and-
suddenly he feels his arm getting yanked up and the glass was
smaked out of his hand, Cartman frowned, and looked to Kenny
who had his hands over Cartman's arms controling them,
"Cartman - Cartman!" Kenny kept repeating as Cartman was struggleing to get away
from Kenny's grip, but kenny squeezed tighter, "Cart-Cartman, Calm down, Shh, calm down! Its Ok! Its Ok.."
The calmer Cartman became the softer Kenny's voice was. "Its Ok.." Kenny said gently.
Cartman was still frowning and breathing heavily.
He didnt know what came over him, He felt Kenny's hands slowly come off his arms and Cartman laid
back.. Anger instatly gone.. now he just wanted to cry again.
"Cartman.." Kenny said softly, and put an arm to Cartman's shoulder,
He looked to Cartman's arm that was bleeding badly, several cuts cut in deep
"Holly shit! Cartman what the fu- Hold on!" He quickly ran around the corner of Cartman's
room. Cartman didnt say anything, just slid his back sitting back onto the ground.. not careing that he's sitting
on more glass or that his arm is bleeding and half of it is cut open.. he could feel the pain.. he just didnt care.
He desereved this pain.
For what he did to Kyle he desereved a lot worse.
Kenny came rushing in and putting a white paper towel with ice inside and put it to Cartman's
arm, he shoved it away, "No"
"Dude, you gotta put it on"
"No! Let it fucking bleed!"
Cartman looked to his arm and watched as blood streamed from his arm from his ripped open
flesh. "Let it bleed.." he repeated softer.
Kenny atempted again and moved the ice package to his arm again,
"Just put this-"
"No!" Cartman interputed pulling his arm away.
Kenny stared at him in silence.
No use in fighting him.. He knew if Cartman didnt want a bandage,
he'd fight to get if off anyway.
Kenny looked around Cartman's dark room, all the lights were off and a piece of cloth covered his window
from sunlight. His room reeked of Whisky and vodka and there where sticky stains on his cartpet from spilling.
Kenny gazed at him levely,
"Why did you do it?" Kenny asked snernly.
Cartman glanced left and right to the floor, "Beacuse I'm a dick.. I'm a fucking dick.
Kenny.."
Cartman looked at him and paused, "I dont even know who the fuck I am anymore."
Kenny felt a wave of sorrow flow over him the way Cartman said those words.
Kenny looked down and saw glass shaddered all over the floor.
Mirror pieces it looked like.
Kenny picked up the one a few inches away from him, a bloody sharp one.
"Well doing this.." Kenny held the mirrior piece infront of him,
"Isnt going to help."
Cartman gruffed to him and rolled his eyes looking away.
"What would Kyle think?" Kenny lead, his voice piching higher.
Cartman put his hand to his head and shoke it at the thought of Kyle.
"I cant believe I did that.." Cartman said aloud as his mind replayed him punching him.
Kenny sighed and put his arm to Cartman's back,
"Dude, There's nothin you can do about it, it happened."
Cartman nodded his head again, The comment didnt help.
"Its Ok, Kyle's gunna forgive you.. It was a mistake.
I mean stan's up his own ass about getting him to break up
with you but Kyle's crazy about you." Kenny said trying to make his friend feel a little better
Cartman rubbed his head.
"I cant.."
Kenny raised his eyebrow confused "What?"
"I cant.. I cant stay with him"
Kenny frowned "Dude, What the fuck?!"
"What if I hurt him again?! Huh?! I cant fucking do that!
I couldnt fucking live with myself!
He's a lot better off with out me." Cartman looked away, takeing out a cigg from his pocket
and lighting it. Not really giving a fuck that he's still in the house.
Cartman's room filled with complete silence as Cartman toke a long drag and breathed it out,
Stareing at the ground looking down.
"Dude.. Ive been with a lot of girls, Ok.
A LOT of fucking girls.. and I never knew what love was,
Until you and Kyle were together."
Cartman blew out a long puff of smoke and flicced ash onto the carpet, and watched
it burn. "Right.. That's why I want him to stay the fuck away from me.
I dont want to hurt him, I cant fucking hurt him.
and somehow if I stay with him.. I know I will."
Kenny stared as another moment of silence went by.
Cartman didnt move, just stared at the ground as the ash on the ground continued
to be burning.
'Crash!'
"You fuckin piece of shit! You payed off five hundred dollars on gambleing
with my hard earned fucking cash?!"
"I'm the one that works, all you do is sit around drinking all day!
'SMACK' "Dont fucking talk to me like that bitch! Think you have a fucking right?!"
Kenny sat still with wide open eyes as the voices continued on downstairs,
Kenny looked to Cartman who didnt even move.
Just kept his stare to the ground.. Not even supprised.
"Dude.." Kenny began, feeling Very uncomfotable.
"Eh, Dont worry, A few things will break and he'll kick her ass
a little bit, then he'll pass out on the couch" Cartman shrugged as if it was nothing and
toke a drag off his cigerate.
Kenny said nothing,
"We have fucking bills to pay here Lianne!
We have food to pay for!"
The voices went on.
"You better get outta here,
It gets a lot worse later" Cartman said, not even bothering to look up from the ground.
Kenny stared at him, "Dude, You wanna stay with me for the night?
The tv sucks but you dont have to-"
"I'm fine" Cartman cut him off.
Kenny frowned, "I dont want you to fucking hurt yourself"
Cartman shrugged "Whatever happens, happens."
"DUDE -"
I'm kidding, I'm kidding" Cartman waved him off,
"No you werent!" Kenny frowned.
Cartman rolled his eyes putting his lips to his ciggerate.
"I uh.. I can stay here?" Kenny suggested,
"Nah. I dont want you goin through this shit"
"I wouldnt -"
"Kenny just fuckin leave. Alright? I dont need a babysitter,
I wont hurt myself"
Kenny stared at him as he watched Cartman becomeing irritaed and angery.
"Ok.." Kenny said slowly, and got up.
He walked to Cartman's window, deffinently not wanting to go out the front
door passing Rick and Lianne's scream session.
Kenny looked back one last time and Cartman as he toke another drag from his ciggerate and
puffed it out.
Kenny sighed as he opened the window,
'I hope he's right..'
Kyle sat on his bed looking down sadly.
He open his phone checking it for the thousanth time.
Nothing.
Nothing from Cartman.. at all.
Kyle put his two fingers and ran it down his sore cheek.
Before he could pretend that nothing ever happened.. that his boyfriend didnt punch
his fist accross his face.. But just feeling it made it so much more real and kept reminding him.
"Kyle?" A door cracked open, Kyle looked up and saw his mom opening the door.
"Dinners almost ready"
Kyle weakly smiled, "Thanks mom"
Shelia gasped ad entered his room walking up to him,
"Kyle! what on earth happened to your face!?"
"Oh.. Uh.." Kyle's heart sank.
Everything had to remind him.
"Dodgeball." he lied.
Shelia, develped a small sympathetic smile of relief
and put her hand to his chin facing it more to her getting a better look.
"Oh. I'm sorry bubby, Maybe you should cut back on the sports?
Athletes get terrible damages done from playing things like that"
"Yeah, Ok mom"
Shelia smiled one last time then walked to the door and closed it behind her.
Kyle shut his eyes holding onto his cheek and sighed.
He wished it was from dodgeball.
Stan stared at his green peas.
He hated peas.
How come everytime he's told his mom he hated pea's she keeps
putting it on his plate anyway?
Stan sighed.. Pea's wasent really the thing that kept waundering around his mind.
It was Kyle.
How could he Even possibly stay with Cartman?!
Cartman fucking hit him and he still says he staying with him?!
Doesnt Kyle see the red flag in that?
Stan thought KYLE was the smart one.
Stan breathed in deeply.
Just the thought of Cartman fucking punching Kyle made him all pissed off.
Cartman was His best friend's everything.
So fine if he wants to Hit him but hit Kyle?! After all he's done for him?!
The fuck?! Stan so badly wanted to fucking strangle that fatasshole.
Stan's hand's clenched as he thought about it.
"Um.. You ok sweetie?" He heard his mom ask accross the table.
Stan quickly looked up and undid his fists, "Oh yea. Um, fine."
Sharron nodded and went back to cutting the pot roast.
"Uh, Dad?"
"Yes Stanly?" Randy asked him, takeing a pig bite of roast that was already
on his plate.
Stan looked down and sighed, this was driving him crazy.
Kenny for some reason just walked out when he tried talking about
it with him and he had noone else to turn to.. Maybe he should ask his parents.
"uh.. I have a friend of a friend and um.. Their boyfriend hit hi- Er, Her."
Sharron stopped cutting the roast and looked at her son along with Shelly and Randy.
"Do you know who he is? or she is?"
"No, no I dont, I was just.. Well, My friend is friend's with the girl and he tried talking her
into breaking up with him but she wouldnt listen and wanrs to stay with him.. What do you think the friend should do?"
Sharron and Randy looked to one another and back to Stan.
"Uhh.." Sharron began,
"Well son, Maybe the girl thinks she's madly in love with the guy, and
if he hits her once, it was a mistake that's ok.."
Stan nodded, sounded familar so far.
"Then it happens again and again until they realize that guy.. isnt going to stop." Sharron finshed.
Stan looked down.
Randy put his hand to Stan's back
"Stanly, tell your friend that all he can do is talk to her.
He cant Make her break up with him but if he's there for for and keeps reminding her of what has happened..
Hopefully she'll come around."
Stan thought this through and nodded.
"Thanks"
Sharron and Randy smiled and went back to eating and cutting their food.
"Oh, and Can I go to Kyle's house quick after dinner?"
Sharron looked up to him, "Uh.. It's kind of late.. Make it quick."
"Ok" Stan aggred and put his fork into his peas and frowned slightly,
'The sooner I eat them, the sooner they'll be gone.'
Stan peddled down the street as fast as he could go, rushing to Kyle's
on his bike. His dad was right, He couldnt force Kyle to break up with them..
but as long as he keeps reminding him and being there for him he should eventually
see the picture.
Stan toke a left up Kyle's driveway and peddled till it got higher then jumped off and kicked his bike's
breaker down.
It's been a while sense he's ridden a bike.. figgured he should save gas money just to go a few blocks.
'Knock, Knock, Knock' Stan knocked.
He waited patentily as he hear some footsteps comming for the door.
The door clicked and it opened witn Gerold Broflovski Smiling to him,
"Hey, Is Kyle home?"
"Yeah, He is. He's up in his room." Gerold held the door open welcomming Stan in.
"Kyle! Someone's here to see you!" he yelled up the stairs.
Kyle dropped his pencil as he heard the word's "Kyle, someone's here to see you"
His heart sank.
'What if its Cartman? Oh my god, what if it's Cartman, What if its Cartman, what if its Cartman?'
He kept asking himself as he paced around the room waiting for his door to open.
Waiting, Waiting, the floor creeked on the other side and Kyle's chest squeezed hearing the doorknob
move, it flipped open and Kyle looked and it sank all the way down to his stomach to see Cartman not there.
But Stan.
"Oh. Um. Hey dude" Kyle said trying to hide the disapointment in his voice.
"Hey" Stan let out a small smile and walked to the bed and sat beside him,
"Look dude, Ive been thinking.. and It's wrong of me to keep judging I know.
I just want you to know, That I'm always here for you, and that you deserve a lot better."
Kyle starred at him, 'He never gives up does he?'
"Stan.. It was ONE mistake."
Stan looked deep into Kyle's emerold eyes,
"Yeah Kyle, your right. People do make mistakes.
But a mark like that couldnt have been an accident,
He hit you so fucking hard."
Kyle looked away trying to block Stan's words out of his head.
"It was just a mistake.." Kyle repated stareing to the ground.
Stan got up and toke Kyleby the shoulders, "Come here" Stan lifted him off from his bed
and pulled him accross the room to wear Kyle's mirrior was.
"Come here" Stan said again as Kyle was pressing back to get back onto the bed.
Kyle glared and gave in walking towards him.
"Now.. Look at yourself" Stan said turning to the mirrior.
Kyle looked away, not wanting to look at the mirrior
"No" he protested.
"Kyle" Stan put his hand's on Kyle and forced him infront of him, infront of the mirrior.
Kyle's eyes were clenched shut.
"Kyle open your eyes.." Stan pressed, from behind him.
Kyle refused, "Kyle Look!"
Kyle hesitated, then opened up one eye.
"Look at yourself.." Stan said.
Kyle opened up his eyes clearly looking at his reflection.
His face had a blackish purple bruise on the side of his face.
"Look at what he did to you, Was that a mistake?"
Kyle looked away not wanting to hear anymore.
"Look Kyle, look at what he fucking did to you!" Stan's voice raised.
Kyle sniffled with his eyes still clenched shut and could feel his eyes beggining
to water as Stan held him in that spot,
Kyle sniffled again, "He didnt mean it.." his voice crocked.
"Kyle.." Stan began with his voice lowering,
"Do you really believe the words you say or are you just trying to convince yourself?"
Kyle glanced at the mirror again seeing Stan standing behind him, holding him there,
and Him, On the verge of crying, with his curly red hair and the bruise..
Stan leaned in closer "Kyle he hurt you.." he whispered.
Kyle looked away again and sniffled.
"He's not the guy you fell in love with."
Kyle looked away and pushed himself out of Stan's holding grip,
"I need to be alone right now." Kyle said walking himself to his bed.
Stan stared at him, "Kyle I-"
"Just leave. Stan Ok? Please?" He asked with a tear rolling down his eye.
Stan stared at him as guilt travled through his chest.. he didnt intend on makeing him cry.
But Stan nodded respectivly and slowly walked to Kyle's door and quietly shut it behind him.
As soon as Kyle heard the door shut he slamed his face into his pillow letting out tears.
(The next day..)
Kyle rubbed his eyes sleepily getting up from his bed.
He felt like shit.
He didnt want to go to school today.. he wanted to just lay.
But atleast it was friday.
Kyle slowly got up from his bed and to the closet to pick out new clothes from the day.
It toke him a long tiome to get to sleep that night.
He mostly spent most of it crying.
Kyle ripped off his shirt and grabbed a green collared one and pulled it over him.
Before getting Jeans on Kyle walked to his cellphone on his desk and opened it.
Nothing.
Not a single fucking thing.
Kyle sighed as his heart sank, all he wanted was a call from Cartman,
Hell even a text.. he missed him so much.
Kyle shut the phone and started for his closet again to get jeans, then stopped
in the middle of walking and stopped at his mirrior.
He looked at himself, with the purpleish bruise still visable.
Kyle didnt want too, but he slowly walked over to the mirrior.
The bruise was close to his eye.. it was so fucking dark.
Kyle drew his finger down from it and it hurt,
Kyle then shook his head and forced himself to look away and go back to his closet for the jeans.
He wanted to pretend it didnt happen.. just block it all out.
'It was just a mistake, and it wont happen again.
Cartman said he was sorry and he didnt mean it to do it.'
Kyle's head was in his hand as he looked down at his Charles Dickens book he was suppose to be
reading along with in the class. He honestly wasent paying any attention.
He read this book twice.
His hand was on his chin, concidering he usually put it to his cheek but when hr tried it hurt like hell
beacuse he touched his bruise and it throbbed.
Kyle groaned, he iggnored the following looks teachers and other kid's gave him when they saw his face.
A few people asked what happened and Kyle said the last excuse. Dodgeball.
One kid asked and was on the dodgeball team..
Kyle told him he was playing outside the county.. it wasent part of a school activity.
He sighed putting his hand to his head.
He wanted the day to be over.
Of corse Cartman didnt come today.. Kyle didnt know weather he felt relieved or disapointed.
Guess he felt both.
Stan stared at Kyle from accross the room.
He looked worse then yesterday.
He kept feeling guilt about makeing Kyle look at himself..
He just so badly wanted Kyle to fucking realized the real asshole he is!
But Kyle still.. Goes back to him.
Stan didnt fucking understand.
Stan wanted to throw the fucking Charles Dickens book against the wall as Shirly Sheezack
reading it a loud.
Stan glanced to Kyle again.. looked like he wasent paying much attenttion either.. Kyle usually
always follows a long with school work.
He saw Kyle shake his head a few times, and sigh deeply stareing down at his desk.
Stan tapped his fingers on his desk. He wished there was more he could do for him.
Thank god that fuck didnt show up at school today. Immagine that.
Stan rubbed his black hair, He couldnt Stand watching his best friend be dragged into fucking
abuse, and him allowing it to happen. It wasent right.
After school Stan offered Kyle a ride home, and Kyle agreed.
Might as well.
They walked side by side heading for the doors of the highschool.
"Hey dudes" They heard a voice behind them, They looked and Kenny stod there.
"Hey" Stan replied, and started walking for the doors again, Kenny followed.
Stan was kind of glad Kenny showed up.. It was really akward between Kyle and him.
Cartman toke a deep breath holding his grip on the steeringwheel a lot tighter.
'You have to do this'
He told himself.
'It's what's best'
Cartman sighed and toke another drink of his beer.
Luckily he hadent had alcohol for about an hour before he stared driving
so he doesnt drive drunk.. but with beer it would take him hours to get drunk off this.
He could take heavy alcohol, Cartman toke another drink and sighed again.
He could almost feel himself starting to tear up.
He didnt want to do this.
He didnt want to fucking to this.
Cartman rubbed his finger to his eye,
He didnt want to do this.
Cartman toke a turn onto the street of the school.. He wanted to get there before Kyle left
he had to do this.
He HAD too.
Cartman's heart pounded and went faster in his chest and a tear rolled down his cheek and he wipped it off.
The closer he got the more real this became..
He didnt want to fucking do this.
The more the thought about it the more he wanted to cry more.
Cartman got to a parking lot, and stopped the car.
He didnt move just stared at the steeringwheel, then put his head down
resting his head onto it.
He couldnt believe he was going to do this.
He couldnt fucking believe it.
But he HAD too, though he wished to god he DIDNT at all.
Cartman pulled his head up wipping his wet eyes and opened the door and slammed it behind him.
He iggnored the looks of Craig and Clyde a few feet away from him stareing at him standing outside their green car.
Guess they saw Cartman crying in the car.
Cartman rolled his eyes and continued walking.
He knew where Stan always parked his car..
"Wendy, You, me, Kenny, Bebe? It'll be fun" Stan went on with his arm around Kyle
trying to cheer him up.
"Yeah" Kenny chipped in.
"Nah.. It's Ok, You guys can go without me" Kyle said not looking up from the ground,
"Dude, We dont want to go without you, just -"
"Look" Kenny interupted.
Stan and Kyle looked in his direction and saw.. CARTMAN.
Walking towards them!
Kyle's eyes went wide and his heart felt like it dropped to the far end of
his stomach,
"What does he want?" he heard Stan sneer.
Kyle couldnt talk.. He wondered what he wanted.
Cartman was wearing an oversized plain red T-shirt, Deminem Jeans and his brown
hair was messed up.. He looked, half nervous, sad, and shoken about something.
Stan noticed a white bandage wrapped around Cartman's arm..
'Probably something Rick did' he figguered.
He refused to feel bas for that Asshole.
Kyle stared as Cartman walked closer and closer towards them.
"Dont worry Kyle I wont let him go anywhere near you" he heard Stan whisper.
Kyle would respond in deffence to let Cartman say what he wants but he couldnt speak.
Cartman kept walking closer and closer to them seeing their confused faces as they waited fore him to reach them.
'I dont want too.
I dont want too.
I dont want too'
His voice repeated as he gulped and tried holding back tears blocking
the end of his throat. he toke a deep breath,
'But I HAVE too'
Cartman stopped infront of them, and then walked more towards Kyle,
Stan bounced infront of Kyle holding out his hands,
"Noway asshole, I'm keeping you the hell away from him!" He yelled.
Cartman's dark brown eyes met Stan's
"Good" Cartman whispered coldly.
Stan undid his frown and looked and him puzzled.
Cartman walked towards Kyle again passing Stan and this time,
Stan didnt stop him.
Cartman stod infront of Kyle who store at him with his wide green eyes.
Kyle had no idea what Cartman was thinking.
Cartman closed his eyes and sighed,
'You HAVE to do it' He reminded himself.
Cartman opened his eyes,
He saw the blackish purple bruise Kyle had accross his face
"My god.." he whispered to himself and looked down.
'I did that..' a huge pang of guilt toke over.
Kenny and Stan stared behind them watching intensly.
"I.. I dont want to hurt, You" Cartman said his voice craked sooner then he wanted it to
and his eyes instantly beacame watery,
Kyle stod in amazment, as his mouth opened to say something but nothing came out.
Kyle never saw Cartman cry when he was sober.. for years atleast.
Cartman looked down and rubbed his eye quick, and looked back up again.
He couldnt believe he was doing this.
"Stan's right.. You should stay away from me.." Cartman looked down left,
"Far away from me" Cartman looked right.
Kyle's eyes suddenly instantly became watery, he didnt like how this
was sounding he didnt like this at all, his heart shoke and he couldnt
move, 'Please dont let this be happening, please god, fucking please'
Cartman stode still not looking up.
"Are... Are you.." Kyle gulped, "Breaking up with me?" his voice squeeked near
the end.
Cartman kept his head down looking left and right, his heart felt like it was fucking bleeding,
he didnt want to say yes, he didnt want too!
But he slowly forced himself too.
Kyle gasped as tears were filling up even more, "Cartman.. Please.. Please Dont- "
Cartman looked up, "To think I.." Cartman interupted him, with wattering eyes,
"Hit you.." Cartman slowly brought his hand up and ever so lightly, barley touching,
he traced his finger down Kyle's face where the bruise was,
Cartman quickly toke his hand back, "I cant.." He said, A tear now rolled down his face and he looked
down a let out a silent sob, not careing that Kenny and Stan were watching.
Cartman looked up, "I.." Cartman started to say, but he couldnt say anymore.
Cartman turned and started walking away.
Cartman tried sucking it up as he walked away.. from everything.
From Kyle.. He couldnt fucking believe it.. Oh god.. it fucking hurt.. doing this fucking hurt.
He had to.. It was best for Kyle.
Cartman wanted to stop walking and go to his knees and start bawling, but he knew he had to stay strong and Keep
walking till he got to his car.
Kyle watched Cartman walking away.
His wattered, and his heart felt like it had put been punched kicked and stabbed
multipule and multipule of times, the hurting continued,
It was.. Over. It was fucking over.
He kept watching Cartman walking away and he turned and was out of sight.
"Oh my god.." Kyle whispered, he dropped to his knee's and his hands held him up from the snow,
"Kyle!" Stan came quickly to his side,
Kyle let out a scream as tears rolled down his face, he clenched his eyes shut,
His chest fucking hurt, like he had been shot, more hot tears kept streaming.
Authors Note:
YES! i wanted this to get done by tonight!!
(Well.. technically its morning, (12:05 AM) but whatever)
Sorry It toke SO long to write.. Its summer now and I had to
keep holding this back.
But im glad I got it all finnaly down in writting!
and sorry, I wrote in my last chapters authors note id do it the next
day, and i was planning to but i ended sleeping over at someones house.
ugh. Sorry!
But anyway, hope you liked it! and thanks people who did my poll
when i asked!
lol, I love you reviewers! Your the reason i keep writting! :D
*Gives you a hug
(Write next chapter soon! wont say tomorow, beacuse I dont want to make
another promise I wont beable to keep but I will try!)