The Other Side of the Story: John's Point of View
Interlude 16: Don't give up John
"Too late?" I looked at him with dawning suspicion, compelled to demand more information. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"
Rodney sighed, the hint of memories that didn't seem to be a comfort to him floating over his face. "Things didn't exactly go well for us after your disappearance," he admitted. "Once I figured out what happened to you, I realised there was nothing we could do. The Air Force pronounced you K.I.A. – gave you a very nice military funeral back on Earth. Obviously the casket was empty but you know, it's the thought that counts. From there ... well, from there things went from bad to worse."
And then I listened silently as Rodney began to explain what had happened in my absence. We hadn't found Teyla before she's gone into labour ... she had the baby and then Michael killed her, taking her son away and using him for his own sick purposes.
I could see the image all too clearly - Teyla lifeless and alone, stretched out on the floor of one of Michael's hideouts. It wasn't possible for me to comment right then, not with the grief trying to fight its way out of my chest ... Rodney hadn't mentioned Sabina yet and after the news about Teyla I didn't have the guts to ask. In fact I had to do a repeat litany in my head, over and over – "it's not real, it hasn't happened yet" just to assure myself there was still something I could do about this because the alterative wasn't something I could even contemplate.
"I'm so sorry Rodney," I said sadly ... he was a hologram but it was easy to forget that, to think of him as the real Rodney McKay, the one who'd lived through it. Better that than having to acknowledge that at this point in time it didn't really matter how any of them had died ... they were all long gone.
"It's not your fault," Rodney responded to my quiet air of guilt as we made our way towards the Stasis pods.
"I should have been there," I stated simply.
"And you will be – and knowing the address where we eventually found Teyla, you will be able to get there much quicker," the extent of Rodney's plan became clear with that one statement. "You'll save Teyla, save the baby, change the fate of the galaxy."
"That's what this is all about?" I asked grimly. "Saving Teyla and the baby?"
"It was the turning point," Rodney explained. "It was the key to everything. Once Michael had that baby, he was able to complete his research and perfect the hybrids. After that, well, he really kicked things into gear."
Turns out Teyla not making it wasn't the worst of the story. Rodney believed that Michael had used what he'd gotten from her son to make his hybrids unbeatable. But Michael didn't just rely on that – the Wraith had vastly superior numbers so he stepped up the distribution of the Hoffan drug first until the point when the Wraith food supply was beyond repair. He waited until they were weakened by in fighting to bring them to their knees – and wipe out every queen in the galaxy. And then he went back amongst the humans who'd survived the Hoffan sickness and picked the strongest to become his hybrid army. The rest he slaughtered like we'd slaughter a herd of contaminated cattle. Because that's all the remaining humans were to him – cattle that no longer had a buyer – useless and unwanted.
Rodney was convinced that if I went back and saved Teyla, then Michael wouldn't be able to perfect his hybrids and the rest of that future wouldn't happen either. Could one baby really be as important at all that? Michael had already created hybrids before Teyla's son even existed which made me sceptical but I kept that opinion to myself.
"You haven't asked me what happened to Sabina yet?" Rodney commented as we continued towards the stasis chambers. "The real Rodney was sure that'd be the first thing you'd want to know."
"Not yet," I tried to go for casual but it came out more as desperate, and had Rodney looking at me in concern. "I just ... it's too much Rodney. Just give me some time okay."
"Got plenty of that," Rodney quipped with a smile, leading me around the next corner. We'd have been at the chambers five, ten minutes later if not for the next act of bad luck that descended on me. A corridor blocked off by sand – the corridor we needed to go down.
"Or maybe not," Rodney commented weakly. "That could be a problem."
"No, no, that's not a problem," I insisted. "We'll just find another way around." Holo-Rodney flickered in and out a few times and he didn't respond. "Rodney?"
"There is no other way around," he'd obviously just gone and checked. "The sand has penetrated the lower levels."
"Forty eight thousand years into the future, you've still got a knack for stating the obvious," I quipped. "All right, what do we do?"
"I don't know," Rodney admitted.
"What do you mean, you don't know?" I demanded. He was a computer program – if he didn't know then who the hell would?
"Well, I wasn't programmed for this variable!" he protested indignantly.
"You said you had twenty five years to work on this plan!" I looked at him pointedly.
"Well, McKay did – and he brilliantly anticipated a lot of potential problems," holo-Rodney clarified, unable to resist an opportunity for self congratulations – all too reminiscent of the real Rodney. "It's just that, well, this wasn't one of them."
"All right," I took over decisively, already heading back up the corridor. "We go up two levels, turn right, there's an outer door. It's only a quarter of a mile across the plaza."
"You can't do that," Rodney denied my idea had merit.
"Why not?" I demanded impatiently.
"Not only is it extremely hot out there, but for the last half an hour the barometric pressure has been dropping and the wind speeds have increased significantly," Rodney gave me the weather report worriedly.
"A storm's coming?" I questioned.
"A sandstorm," Rodney countered. "Ever been in one of those?"
"As a matter of fact, I have," I said a bit smugly but come on – Afghanistan? Surely he'd remember that after M1B-129 and the whole 'I can't believe you shot me' debacle!
"Oh. Oh, then, then you know what that means," Rodney floundered before recovering.
"It's not like we have a lot of options here," I pointed out.
Not waiting for Rodney's agreement I turned and headed back the way we'd come. I was tired and hungry and just plain grumpy by the time we'd made it to the part of the outer corridor I was after. Standing at the door I listened to the wind howling outside.
"Sounds pretty nasty out there," I commented reluctantly.
"The winds are gusting over fifty miles an hour and increasing," Rodney explained. "Look, the visibility's basically zero. You can't go out there! You're just gonna have to wait it out."
"For how long?" I asked impatiently.
"Well I don't know. Maybe a couple of hours," Rodney suggested. Not the answer I needed ... shaking my head wearily I decided the floor looked pretty attractive right then and sat down with my back against the wall.
"Are you hungry?" Rodney asked. "Do you have any food?"
I'd gone on the mission that morning alone which meant I hadn't stuffed my pockets full of power bars like I usually did when Rodney was along – an action I was regretting right then. Still, no point in admitting that, so I just shook my head in response to his questions.
"Oh. Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter anyways," he commented. "We'll just wait for the storm to blow over and have you out of here in no time at all." Thinking some more about that he smiled awkwardly. "Well, you'll actually be here for seven hundred years but you know what I mean."
"What happened next?" I asked abruptly. "After we found Teyla, after Michael had the Wraith in disarray? There's no way we would have rolled over and let Michael take over the whole galaxy."
Of course we hadn't. Rodney told me how Sam had singlehandedly commandeered a new Earth ship, taking it on daring strike and retreat missions to wipe out Michael's fleet. How she'd been making a serious dent in his defences until he'd set a trap with false intel, surrounded her and disabled the Phoenix. She'd used it to ram one of the Hive ships, setting up a chain reaction that took out all three. And become another empty casket at Arlington.
It bothered me, hearing about Sam sacrificing herself like that ... not with that same rush of personal emotion I'd felt over Teyla because she wasn't an integral part of my life like Sabina and my team. Still I liked her, admired her guts and determination, respected her leadership. An empty casket at Arlington was hardly the end she'd earned after all her years of service.
Even though he was just a hologram the recounting of so much tragedy seemed too much for Rodney. Pleading the need to check systems he disappeared, leaving me alone with only the howling wind for company.
oOo
"Where the hell have you been?" I demanded angrily when he returned too many hours later.
"I was inputting our new solar flare requirements into the long-range sensors," Rodney reported with a strange expression. "And I found out what happened to the ocean."
"Well, are you gonna tell me or are you gonna keep it a secret?" I asked when he didn't immediately reveal the details.
"The sun in this system is dying. It's running out of fuel," he waited for me to react ... was there some implication I wasn't getting here?
"Wouldn't that make it colder?" I tried.
"No. As it consumes the heavier elements, it begins to expand. It's basically turning into a red giant."
"OK, so mystery solved," I acknowledged. "Let's move on."
"No, no. You don't get it," he insisted, sounding more like himself – the doom and gloom version anyway. "This isn't some kind of cyclical climate change. This is – this is a one-way ticket. This planet is going to get hotter and hotter. Eventually the atmosphere is gonna burn off."
"All right," I accepted the prognosis. "How long before that happens?"
"It's impossible to say, but my best estimate is under five hundred years," Rodney looked at me as if to say 'now do you get the problem?'
"But you said I'd be in stasis for at least seven hundred," I played along, pointing out the obvious inconsistency with his estimate.
"Right. So the moment you step out of the stasis chamber, you'll be killed."
"Rodney, you've gotta think of something!" I insisted, looking at him expectantly.
"I am trying. It's like I said ..." he trailed off miserably.
"You didn't anticipate the variable," I finished. "I get it." Thinking quickly gave me a number of questions related to the first idea that came to me. "All right: can the Mark Twelve power the shields?"
"Theoretically, but there'd never be enough power left over to maintain my systems, the long-range sensors, the stasis chamber," Rodney said in dismay.
"The city has solar-powered generators, right?" I looked hopeful, the idea taking full shape in my head.
"Yes, which would come in very handy if we were trying to power a couple of electric golf carts," he retorted sarcastically.
"See, you're still thinking like the old McKay," I pointed out smugly. "Still sound like him too," I added internally.
"I can't really help that!" Rodney protested. "Look, what are you saying?"
"The sun's going red giant, right?" I confirmed. "Increased solar energy. The worse it gets, the more power we'll have."
"Oh my God. That could work!" holo-Rodney said in amazement. "We use the shields to protect the atmosphere."
"Exactly," I smiled as he looked at me with new eyes.
"You're a lot smarter than I ever appreciated aren't you?" Rodney commented almost sadly.
"It's all relative," I countered with a fond grin. "In the shadow of the great Doctor Meredith Rodney McKay I was average."
"Mensa," Rodney muttered after a moment's pause, accessing the files my Rodney had made available to help him.
"Even as a hologram forty eight thousand years in the future he didn't forget that?" I shook my head in amazement. Diversion aside I knew the time to act had come ... pulling out my scarf I prepared to head out into the sandstorm.
"Listen, we wouldn't be able to power the shield indefinitely, but it would buy us a hundred years or so," Rodney was still stuck on assessing the plan.
"That's gonna have to do for now," I looked at him purposefully as I prepared to use the scarf as a mask. "Open up the door."
"What about the storm?" Rodney reminded me.
"It's been going on for seven hours," I pointed out. "For all we know, it could go on for days."
"It'll be dark soon," Rodney tried again to dissuade me.
"All the more reason to get going," I said simply. "All I've gotta do is walk in a straight line."
"You won't be able to see two steps in front of you!" holo-Rodney pointed out the problem with my strategy, his tone incredulous.
"I never said I thought it would be easy," I acknowledged, rolling my sleeves down to cover as much of my arms and hands as possible. "Look, I haven't eaten. I was hungry on my way back to Atlantis. The longer we wait, the weaker I get." Pulling the scarf I'd tied around my neck up to cover my nose and mouth put an end to the conversation more effectively than anything else I could have said.
"All right," Rodney gave up abruptly. "Look, I can't go outside, but I can stay in contact with you over the radio."
Sunglasses on I walked to the door ... Rodney opened it and I almost had to step back, the wind howled billowing sand into the city. Holding my hands up to protect my face I steeled myself and then resolutely headed out into the storm, just making out the words Rodney called out behind me.
"It's like you said: keep walking in a straight line," he urged. "When you hit the building on the other side, feel your way to the door. I'll be waiting for you there!"
Only a few steps away from the door and I was totally blind in a swirling mess of abrasive red sand, wind trying to push me back. Inside Atlantis it had been hot but outside the heat was staggering ... I could feel the sweat gathering and the strength draining out of me. If this took too long I was in serious trouble.
"Sheppard. Sheppard, can you hear me?" Rodney's voice echoed strongly in my ear.
"Yeah, I hear you," I ground out.
"How're you doing?" Rodney asked nervously.
"How'm I doing?" I thought incredulously. "How the hell did he think I was doing, out here in a sandstorm in the scorching heat?" "Never better!" I retorted aloud.
I'm sure I made an almost comic picture, the way I was bent horizontal against the invisible force of the wind, stumbling and having to push for every step. The first time I fell to my knees it was a struggle to drag myself back up again ... and I knew there'd be more, that each time I went down it'd be harder to get up.
I needed something, a distraction. "Rodney!"
"Yeah, I'm still here," Rodney answered immediately.
"Tell me about Ronon." I still wasn't ready to hear about Sabina – wasn't sure I could handle whatever had happened to Ronon either, but I had to start somewhere.
"What, now?!" Rodney reacted in surprise.
"Yes, now," I said firmly. "Talk to me, Rodney."
"Right. Uh, well, after what happened to you and then Teyla, I guess he didn't feel comfortable on the base anymore," Rodney began. "He left, went out to fight in his own way."
That sounded like Ronon, as did the rest of it. Recruiting his own strike force, training them, convincing Sam to give him weapons and supplies. I wasn't surprised by the conclusion either – sending his men back to the Gate and then staying behind to take out one of Michael's hybrid making labs was completely in character. Ronon would have pushed and pushed at Michael until he'd have no choice but to take him down – at least Ronon had been able to choose his own ending.
It saddened me that he hadn't gone on to old age but he was a warrior – he would have wanted to go out fighting. Sharing that end with Todd the Wraith probably wouldn't have been his first choice but I could see how human and Wraith would have had to unite against a common foe. After all, that was how we'd become allies with Todd in the first place.
"I'm sorry," Rodney said sadly. "I wish some of these stories had happier endings."
So did I. Didn't give me much hope that Sabina had made something of her life after I'd disappeared. My mind wanted to spiral into speculation on how Sabina would have reacted - what she would have been compelled to do ... assuming she'd been in any condition to do something ... "Don't go there John!" I ordered myself.
I'd continued my stumbling progress during his recitation even though I wasn't sure anymore if I was even heading in the right direction. And I admit it, I was pretty close to just falling down and giving it up as a lost cause. And then I saw her ... standing there a few steps in front of me.
"Sabina?" I croaked out, stumbling towards her.
"Don't give up John," I heard her easily even though the wind should have carried her words away from me. And then she turned and walked away.
"Sabina!" I yelled it this time, quickening my pace to catch up to her. "Wait!"
Rodney's words in my ear were a distance annoyance I could ignore. "Sheppard? Sheppard? Are you still with me?"
Sabina was getting away from me ... I had to hurry or see her disappear into the storm.
"Sheppard?" Rodney called to me again.
"You're almost there," Sabina was in front of me suddenly. "Just another step." She held out her hand to me and waited.
Reaching out for her my hand hit something solid instead. The door I'd been heading for! It slid open and I staggered inside, crashing to the floor face first. I registered the door closing and Rodney's panicked demands for a response.
"Your biosignature's barely registering! Sheppard!"
I don't know if that vision of Sabina had been real or not ... what I did know in the moments before I let exhaustion take me away was that I wouldn't have made it without her.
Authors Note:
Next Up? The Other Side of the Story Chapter 17