The Other Side of the Story: John's Point of View

Interlude 17: You are the hologram system right?

Waking up was painful ... my skull hammered out an ache caused by too many hours without food and water, compounded by having the energy sapped out of me by the storm.

Groaning, I lifted my head carefully and looked up. There was Rodney, squatting beside me with a worried expression that immediately cleared to relief when he saw I was awake.

"There you go," he urged gently. "You can do it."

I realised how weak I'd gotten when it was an effort to roll over ... lying on my back I pulled down the scarf that was still on my face. "Hullo, Rodney," I greeted him simply.

"Yeah, I'm still here," Rodney quipped. "Look, I'd help you up but I'm – I'm, um ...." he gestured vaguely to his holographic body.

The help would have been welcomed but like he said, he wasn't exactly solid enough to provide that service. My head didn't like the change to sitting position any more than the rest of me but I got there, leaning dizzily against the wall, waiting for things to shift back into focus

"How long was I out?" I asked curiously.

"All night!" Rodney exclaimed. "You don't look so good. Maybe we should get you to the stasis chamber as soon as possible."

"Agreed," I said wearily, sighing before slowing pulling myself to my feet. I began to feel a little better as we made our way the short distance down the corridor to the Stasis Room.

"I've already prepped the solar panels," Rodney announced as we walked in. "You're good to go."

"Wait," I stood before the pod, not ready to become a John Sheppard Popsicle just yet. There were still things I needed to know. "You know, you never told me what happened to you – I mean, in the past," I started with the easy one first.

"Oh, you don't wanna hear about that," Rodney protested.

"Well, why not? Obviously you survived," I pointed out. Surely that meant his story at least would have some happiness in it.

"Only 'cause I quit," he admitted.

"Quit what?" I asked in surprise.

"Atlantis, Stargate Command – the whole thing," he said expansively.

"That doesn't sound like you," I frowned at the incongruity with what I'd known of my friend. From what I'd heard already the others had met their fates much as I would have predicted ... but not Rodney?

"Yeah, well, we were under new management," he excused lightly.

"Of course they were," I thought bitterly, listening incredulously as Rodney began to tell his own tale. The IOA had replaced Samantha Carter with Richard Woolsey? During the height of a major military situation? I could already see which way this was going ... of course they pulled back on helping the natives, contracted everything back to Atlantis and protection of the only gateway back to Earth.

Bastards.

Keller couldn't take it, couldn't sit by and watch people suffer and die when she could have helped, or at least eased their suffering a little. She'd had to resign – that wasn't the surprising thing. No, what was surprising was that Rodney McKay had already fallen for her and followed her back to Earth, quitting his job along with anything that had ever driven him in the process.

They should have had that happy ending back home but it wasn't to be. Jennifer had been exposed to the Hoffan drug too many times ... only a year back on Earth she developed complications and they found themselves back at the SGC.

There wasn't a cure. I could imagine how that tormented Rodney, how desperate he would have been to come up with a way to save her. That's when he came up with the idea to change the timeline – starting with getting me back to Atlantis soon enough to save Teyla. He devoted twenty five years to the task before he finally worked out how to make it happen.

Luckily for all of us Major Lorne had stuck with the Stargate program and was by then a General in charge of the whole place.

"I don't think he ever forgave himself for what happened," Rodney said. "Not the whole time he fought Michael's forces while everything here was turning to crap ... not when they recalled everyone back to Earth and locked out the Atlantis gate address. When I showed up at the SGC with my plan Evan didn't even question me ... just told me to bring you back so we could fix it. The rest you know."

"Yeah. I guess I've had a tough day, but you've had a tough twenty five years," I tried to lighten the mood, earning a brief smile from Rodney in return.

"Twenty six actually," he countered. "It took me another year here on the base to set everything up, get this program working so I'd be ready when you turned up.

"Thank you Rodney," I said it feelingly, wanting at least some version of him to realise how much his sacrifice had been appreciated. "This, everything you've done ... you've taken genius to a whole new level."

"He would have liked that," holo-Rodney commented fondly.

Story concluded Rodney moved over to the controls and waved a hand over one, releasing a draw full of crystal controls.

"Here," he instructed. "Take the first crystal. I've loaded all the intel we got on Michael after your disappearance, including the address where we found Teyla."

I took the crystal, clutching it in my hand for a moment before carefully putting it in my top pocket.

"The place where we found her – it was a warehouse beside two tall towers," Rodney offered. "Surrounded by three large circular buildings. The room where Teyla was held was near the middle of the warehouse, ground floor three corners in. Should help you recognise it when you get there."

"Okay," I said grimly. I hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "Tell me."

"You mean about Sabina?" He looked at me with questioning, waiting until I'd nodded before continuing. "She escaped," he began with something I hadn't been expecting. "Hours before Teyla had the baby she convinced Sabina the only way was for her to make it back to Atlantis and bring help. That way they could give us everything they'd learnt about Michael too."

"But it didn't help," I commented with a frown.

"We were too late," Rodney confirmed. "She was devastated John ... broken inside because she believed Teyla's death was directly on her. She'd been holding it together the first few days after we found Teyla – when we still didn't know what had happened to you. When I worked it out, told her just how far away from us you were, that there was no way we could get you back she went all quiet, shut everything down deep inside. She wasn't the same after that." Rodney sighed sadly, glancing at me reluctantly before he went on with the story.

"The funeral back on Earth ... we buried your empty casket at Arlington. God, the expression on her face when they handed her that folded flag! She walked away John ... after the funeral, she just turned around and walked away and she didn't come back."

"You let her go it alone?" I asked, angry at the thought that somehow Sabina has been abandoned when she'd needed her friends the most.

"Of course not!" holo-Rodney returned. "She and Lorne practically came to blows at your service because he wouldn't let her shut everyone out. But you know Sabina ... she was so determined ... and she took us all by surprise, leaving so suddenly. Evan searched for her ... God knows for how long, but she did too good a job of staying hidden ... at the time Jennifer and I cut ties with the SGC Lorne still hadn't found her."

"So you don't know what happened to her after that?" I asked in a low tone.

"Ah," Rodney hesitated, clearly thinking about whether he should respond. "Okay, I did hear one thing ... about seven and a half months later." I raised an eyebrow at the specific way he'd described the timing. "She was pregnant John ... must have happened just before Michael took them. She didn't know ... I'm pretty sure she walked away from Arlington not knowing."

"She had a baby?" my voice shook ... I felt frozen inside.

"Your baby," Rodney said insistently. "Your son ... she called him John, came back to the SGC for the birth because of the whole Wraith and Lantean gene thing. Jennifer and I were still off trying to live normal lives – by the time I heard and tried to get in touch she was gone again. I don't know where anyone else from Atlantis was at the time ... just that Sabina and the baby stayed at the SGC only briefly and then she disappeared again."

"He was okay? They were both okay?" I asked worriedly.

"From what Doctor Lam said, yeah they were – whatever Michael did to her while she was his captive had no effect on your son," Rodney reassured me. "I didn't hear anything about her for years ... when I ran into the first major snag trying to work out how to get you back I searched for her myself because I thought she'd be able to help."

"Did you find her?" I suspected the answer but had to ask the question anyway.

"Not exactly," Rodney admitted. "She left Earth John ... picked a random gate address when John junior was about five. From what I could work out Sabina picked her time carefully - Lorne and the rest of her team were off world and I guess there wasn't anyone else there at the time to argue with her. The SGC checked for me but so many years later there was no trace of her on that planet ... they didn't know where she'd gone – no one did."

"That's it?" I felt blank inside, devastated that my disappearance had led to so much suffering. The story hadn't been anything like I'd expected because Sabina being pregnant wasn't something I could have anticipated.

And then the full meaning hit me in a burst.

Sabina was pregnant ... right now in my time, the time I was hopefully heading back to. She was pregnant and completely unaware of it. I didn't know what to think, what to feel ... it was too much and all I wanted was to see her because I knew she'd rip away the static in my head and make everything clear again.

"Are you ready to do this?" Rodney let me be for a few moments before speaking gently ... like he thought I might crack if he was too loud.

"You are the hologram system right?" I asked weakly as an idea occurred to me. Perhaps Diamantia could help ... tell me what happened to Sabina after she'd disappeared from Earth.

"I suppose," Rodney agreed with a puzzled frown at the abrupt change in topic.

"Then ... ah ... Ego quaeso ... um ... regimen ex ... ah ex preteritus!" I bent my head low and drew the words from my memory, hoping they'd work for me like they had for Sabina even though I wasn't actually standing in the Hologram Room.

"Hello John," I looked up in startled confusion. Rodney was gone and in his place was someone I wasn't expecting to see.

"Sabina?"

She smiled sadly, taking a few steps closer until she could have reached out and touched me.

"That was you, out there in the storm?" I knew it had to be, whether she'd own up to it or not. "You're really here?"

"It's me," she confirmed, "although not quite the way you left me."

"Ah ... no," I surged forward unsteadily, the weeks of separation making the sight of her enough to have me almost mute with emotion. Holding out a shaking hand I looked at her pleadingly, desperate for something ... anything to make her real.

"Oh John," Sabina stepped forward and enfolded me in her embrace ... she was there, physically and in every other way that counted.

"God I missed you," I muttered into her hair as I clutched her tightly, revelling in how she clung to me in return.

"You missed me?" she pulled away and looked at me incredulously. "Try waiting forty eight thousand years for someone to turn up and then tell me about missing them!"

"I'm sorry," I apologised even though it was hardly my fault this had happened.

"You have no idea what I had to go through to get here," Sabina looked sad for a moment, before her expression smoothed and she smiled teasingly. "I said more than once that I'd never give up on you, no matter the circumstances. You just had to find a way to push that to the limit, didn't you?"

"You ah ... how?" I asked, unable to conceive of the level of patience and commitment that had taken for her to be standing there before me. I felt ... humbled ... and so much in love with her right then that I struggled to contain everything I was feeling.

"It wasn't easy," Sabina admitted. "Rodney told you what happened as far as he knew... now I'll tell you the rest."

Drawing me over to the wall she urged me to sit down, sitting down herself and crossing her legs underneath her. She was wearing one of those robes like I remembered from the Sanctuary ... and she looked good, really, really good.

"Rodney told you I was pregnant when you disappeared," she began, putting a hand over mine and squeezing firmly. "I didn't know John ... the whole time with Michael and then back on Earth when everything was going so wrong I never suspected. I guess that was my one piece of luck ... that Ryan survived despite the poor treatment I endured during the first three months."

"Ryan?" I asked, confused because Rodney had said she'd named him John.

"Yeah – John Ryan Sheppard," Sabina expanded it out for me. "I was gonna call him John but ... it was really hard without you. The pleasure and the torment of looking at him and seeing you, hearing your name every day. So I used his middle name instead. I tried to make a go of it on Earth but I couldn't get past the fact that you weren't gone, that you'd arrive here and be all alone with no way of finding out what happened. I didn't know about Rodney's plan and I just ... I couldn't let it go. So I went to the SGC, asked General Landry if I could go off world. He took pity on me, said it was the least they could do. As soon as Ryan and I arrived at the planet I chose, I dialled another address, and then another after that until I was sure they wouldn't be able to trace me."

"Why?" I asked in dismay. "Why would you isolate yourself from everything? You had friends there who could have helped you. Rodney said Evan searched for you ... for years! That you deliberately avoided him and everyone else ... why?"

"Because I had a plan of my own," Sabina stated, "and I didn't want to hear any of them telling me it was too far out there, that it wouldn't work. I couldn't allow any hint of doubt to enter my mind or it wouldn't have worked."

"Ascension," in a rush it all made sense to me. "You actively sought out a way to Ascend."

"Made the decision before Ryan was even born," Sabina admitted. "It wasn't the life I would have chosen for him but I couldn't leave him behind on Earth ... he'd inherited pretty much every genetic trait from both of us and I was scared the IOA would find a way to use him. I researched it for months before we left, spoke to Daniel and got every reference to every planet he'd ever seen linked to Ascension. We moved from planet to planet following those leads at first and then others that I came across. Eventually I found a place similar to the Sanctuary but without the time dilation field. Ryan and I settled there and I spent the rest of my life 'letting go of my burdens'. Eventually I did it – I ascended. It wasn't quite what I'd expected but it did give me a way to be with you again. All I had to do was wait another forty seven thousand nine hundred and fifty years, give or take a few years."

"And Ryan?" I asked curiously.

"He missed having a father, having you in his life and the first few years were tough for him," she admitted. "Over time the atmosphere of the place calmed him and he came to love the sanctuary," she reassured me. "Settled with a lovely girl there ... and eventually they both ascended too."

"There's one thing I don't understand," I admitted. "If you ascended why didn't you just go back to the point before I stepped through that wormhole and tell me not to? We know time travel isn't beyond the capabilities of an Ascended being."

"Because you were lost to everyone," she tried to explain. "That had been my original intention but you were trapped in an instant of time ... even with all my ascended powers I couldn't reach you, no matter how hard I tried. I soon discovered that while Ascension might be a ticket to still being around 48 thousand years later it didn't grant me omnipotence or unlimited powers. There were boundaries I couldn't cross, and not because of the Ascended rules. Diamantia was right in that – my goals were so expansive the others never picked up on them. Me talking to you now isn't of interest to them because I'm not here to change anything ... just to make sure you didn't end up alone. Rodney's the one who'll fix this and they can't – they won't – interfere with that."

"Wow," I looked across at her in amazement. "I can't believe this ... I don't know what to say."

"Rodney devoted just as much of his life to the same thing," she pointed out. "He'll get you back there, back to the me I was then. And none of this will have happened."

"And you're okay with that?" I asked hesitantly.

"More than okay," she assured me with a smile. "I'll give up the past forty eight thousand years if it means I get to have the fifty or so I was hoping for with you."

"All right," I got up and dusted off my pants, holding out my hands to her. "I'm ready to do this."

She let me pull her up and into my arms, holding on to me tightly. I just stood there, breathing her in, letting her presence fill the space that had been empty since Michael had whisked her away. I don't know how she was doing it because she was Ascended but she felt like Sabina to me, exactly the same as before.

"I have to go," she murmured sadly, leaning back to look into my eyes. "You need Rodney to complete this and he can't come back until I exit from the hologram system."

"I'll see you soon," I promised, kissing her with everything I had in me. She was smiling when I pulled back ... running her hands up my chest and into my hair she leaned up to kiss me again and then stepped away.

"Be careful what you share when you get back," she warned seriously. "The strategic stuff, the things we hope to avoid sure. But everything else has to stay here in this future."

"You want me to keep a secret this big from you?" I asked in surprise.

"This really is me John," Sabina said with a smile, "and yes, I'm giving you permission to keep everything you've learned about the me of this future to yourself. Well obviously you can tell me about the pregnancy because that's a given, but the rest is no longer important. God forbid you should influence the new future in a way we can't predict because you shared something you shouldn't have."

"Fair enough, but I'm telling you about that military funeral," I countered decisively. "There is no way I'm letting you live on tender hooks for years waiting for that vision to come true when it already has."

"Now that I would appreciate," Sabina agreed. Reaching up she drew my head down to hers, rested her cheek against mine for a few seconds before sighing and letting me go. "See you later John," she grinned, raised a hand in a careless wave and then was gone. She'd left me with a parting gift though ... my headache and the weariness that had been sitting heavy on me were gone. Her contribution to making sure I had enough left to get back through the gate to Atlantis.

"What was that?" holo-Rodney came back abruptly, frowning in confusion.

"Nothing – just a glitch," I dismissed lightly. "Let's get this done."

Rodney checked the controls, pressed a few buttons and then looked at me. "Okay - we're ready." The stasis pod came to life at Rodney's command ... I didn't hesitate, just stepped inside and turned to face him.

"Now, if this works, I'll be waiting right here when you come out,' Rodney promised. "I may not have much time to get you through the Gate, but I think we can manage it."

"And if it doesn't work?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Well, you won't feel a thing, but basically you just ... won't wake up," Rodney admitted awkwardly.

"Right," I shrugged – it wasn't like I had a choice after all. Thinking quickly I came up with one final question. "Anything else you want to tell me about the future? Sports results, stuff like that?"

"I was never really much of a sports fan," Rodney reminded me.

"Had to ask," I looked at him closely, saw the hint of amusement in his expression, and felt marginally better.

"Good luck, John," he said earnestly.

I nodded, waiting silently for what was coming next. I felt the chill creeping up over me from back to front. And some time in the middle I went to sleep.

oOo

Rodney was standing in front of the stasis pod when I awoke.

"Quickly," he urged. "Power reserves are dangerously low!"

I didn't have time to think, just react in a sprint from the Stasis Room, up the corridor to the door leading outside. Thankfully with the shield in play there was no sandstorm to grapple with, no oppressive heat to force my way through. Still running hard I made quick time across what used to be the plaza and back inside, up steps, down corridors until I burst out into the Gateroom.

The Stargate was already in motion, lights flashing around the outside as the chevrons locked in the address for Atlantis ... I wasn't sure how it was possible to make a call to yourself but Rodney assured me it would work.

"Shield collapse is imminent," Rodney yelled just as the wormhole kawhooshed. I hit the event horizon at a run ...

Authors Note:

Look at that! A new chapter two days in a row! Apologies for not getting to review replies ... will do that before the next chapter. And I know what you're all thinking ... FINALLY!

Next Up? The Other Side of the Story Chapter 18