The next week was the week I dreaded every year. It was the two weeks that I was forced to spend with Charlie in California. It's not like I did anything while I was there anyway, he was police chief of some little town out in California and left me alone most of the time. He was just wasting his money flying me out there, but I guess that's his choice. It made him feel like a father, if only for two weeks out of an entire year.

I stepped off the plane into the blazing sun. I had to squint to see. I hobbled down the steps and looked around for Charlie. Carlisle had given me the okay to ditch the crutches yesterday and I was still getting used to walking on my foot again.

I spent a total of two weeks on the crutches, one while I was staying at the Cullens and one while I was at home. But both were torture.

"Bella!" someone screamed. I looked out into the distance to see Charlie standing next to my luggage with a huge smile on his face. I put my best face forward and continued toward him.

"Hey dad" I said as I approached him.

He gave me an awkward hug, picked up my bags and headed for the cruiser. Not exactly my favorite way of transportation, but my only option. "How ya been Bells?" he asked.

I gave him the best fake smile I could muster, "Pretty good" I said as we loaded my bags into the back of the cruiser.

He nodded, "That's good, how's that friend of yours, um Alice?" he asked.

Last year when I came to stay with Charlie, Alice had come with me to make the trip better, and it was. We hung out at the beach and got tans, well Alice tanned, I tried. But this time I would have to bare it by myself.

I opened up the passenger side door to the cruiser and got in. Charlie smiled to let me know that it was ok to continue. I took a deep breath, "She's doing pretty good. She had other things to do this time, so she couldn't come." No need to go into details about our problems right now.

"Understandable" he smiled looking at me, "So how's your mom doing?" He always brought up Renee. I don't think he has ever really got over her, even though it had been over fourteen years.

I took a deep breath, "Um, she's been good dad, she's happy with Phil and Cole."

His face turned into a slight frown when I mentioned them. "Oh yeah, I heard you have a new little half brother" he said with fake interest. I nodded and turned to stare out the window. "How do you like having a sibling for a change?" he continued.

I flipped around to face him, this was one of the longest conversations we ever had, but it was extremely uncomfortable on my part. Especially when I knew that he still loved Renee. He still had their wedding picture up in his house.

I sighed, "It's nice to not be the center of attention all the time. Renee doesn't worry constantly about me anymore."

He nodded again taking it in, and then mumbled, "I never wanted you to be an only child." He said it super quiet, I didn't know if I was meant to hear, so I decided to pretend as if I didn't.

The rest of the ride was pretty silent, but it wasn't awkward. Charlie and I are both quieter people and preferred silence.

We pulled into Charlie's driveway of his small white two bedroom house. Every time that I came, nothing changed. The furniture looked like it came out of the 1980s and probably did. The only updated thing was his flat screen TV.

"I thought we would just order pizza tonight. Is that ok?" he asked as we took our shoes off.

I grinned, "Sounds good to me."

He nodded, "Why don't you bring your stuff up to your room. I'll order the pizza" he said as he left for the kitchen.

I stood in the doorway for awhile. I had been here so many times, but it still didn't feel like home, at least not mine.

I picked up my bags and started towards "my" room. I just considered it another room to the house. I wasn't here enough for it to be mine. I reached the top step and recognized it room by the color.

When I was six Charlie let me pick the colors of my room, I picked out a dark orange and a lime green. I don't know why Charlie let me pick those colors but he did, maybe he thought that I would feel more at home here, it didn't help.

But to make it worse he let me help paint, let's just say it's not a good idea to let a six year old paint with those colors. I had decided that the colors would be better mixed, which turned out more of a baby poop brown color than anything and it's been the same ever since.

I dropped my bags in the room, which only had a small single bed and an old desk. Which Charlie probably bought at a garage sale somewhere a long time ago.

I laid down on the bed and took out my cell, it was still off from the plane. I turned it on and smiled when it buzzed telling me I had a voicemail. I instantly dialed one to see who it was from.

"Hey Bella, its Edward" the message started, "I wanted to know if you got there safely. Call me when you have a chance. Bye."

I smiled like an idiot and called him back.

"Hello?" he answered with that musical voice of his.

I felt like I could melt, just hearing his voice made me go insane. "Hey Edward" was all I said for him to recognize me.

"Bella!" he screamed, "How's California."

"Sunny" I replied and immediately regretted it, of course it's sunny. Anywhere is sunny compared to Forks is sunny, even Antarctica.

He simply laughed and shook off my stupidity. "I miss you already" he whispered into the phone, "I don't know how I'm going to survive two weeks without you."

I wanted to cry, that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. I hadn't seen him since this time yesterday and I'll admit it, I too missed him already.

I heard Emmett in the background, "Is it ballerina? Is it!" he boomed, "Let me talk to her."
"No Emmett, I'm talking to her right now. You can later" Edward advised.

"Please Eddie" Emmett pleaded, I could just imagine the expressions on both their faces. "Oh come on Edward. Just let me talk to her for a minute, I'm her friend too you know."

"You're wasting my time and hers, I'll let you talk to her when I'm done" Edward continued. I heard kissing noises coming from Emmett and blushed tomato red. "Em! You know we're just friends!" Edward shouted.

"But you should be more!" Emmett taunted. I heard a little scuffle and a door slam.

"Bella, I have to go, I'll call you back in a minute." Edward said out of breath and then hung up the phone.

I tossed my phone to the end of the bed and sat back. I looked out the window and noticed how dry everything was. The grass was brown and the sun looked hot and uncomfortable.

I only had to wait about ten minutes before Edward called back. We talked for hours and everyday after that he would call to check how I was doing.

Charlie left me alone most of the day, so the calls from Edward were life savers. But as the week went on he seemed to be hiding something from me and he seemed to choose his words carefully.

The night before I left was the night I found out.

"Seriously Edward, I know something's going on. What is it?" I asked for the thousandth time.

"It's nothing that can't wait until you get home" he replied.

"But I want to know now" I whined.

"Don't get angry Bella, I would rather tell you in person, to be there for you."

"I'm not angry, but I will if you don't tell me" I started, "Hang on, why would you have to be there for me?"

He took a deep breath, "It would be better if you waited until tomorrow."
"But I don't want to wait until tomorrow, I want to know now!" I pleaded.

"Patients is a virtue Bella"

I laughed, "You sound like Phil!"

He chuckled, "Is that a good thing?"

"Not exactly" I admitted, "I don't like to wait, I not a patient person."

He laughed his magical laugh, "I knew that, but maybe just this once you could be?"

"Nope" I laughed, I was going to get this out of him. I began to plea "Please Edward, just tell me. I'm dieing here! Please, please, please!"

"Trust me Bella, you don't want to know" he said frustrated.

"But do I deserve to know?" I taunted.

I heard him sigh, I had done it, I had cracked him. He had to spill the beans. "If I tell you now" he began, "Promise me that you won't get upset and you will remain calm until you get home tomorrow."

I was confused, but agreed anyway, "Ok, fine, what ever. Just tell me!"

He took a deep breath, "Bella" he started, "Alice is gone."

I feel back, making my head hit the wall hard, I shook it off. "What do you mean she's gone" I asked puzzled.

He sighed again, "I…I don't know" I could tell he was confused himself, "She just left, left everything."

"Well when's she coming back?" I asked.

"That's the thing Bella" he mumbled, "I don't think she is" the last part was a whisper.

I let myself slide down my bed and coil up into a ball. This empty room suddenly seemed crowed and claustrophobic. Could she really leave without saying good-bye? Had our friendship meant nothing? I thought things were getting better a couple weeks ago, how could she?

"Bella are you still there?" he asked concerned after a while..

I nodded silently, but soon realized he couldn't see me. I mumbled a weak, "Yes."

After a moment of silence Edward spoke, "I'm sorry Bella, I know how much she means to you."

I was speechless; she couldn't be gone for good. Why would Edward think that? I sat up slowly trying to find answers to the millions of questions that taunted me. "What makes you think she's not coming back?" I asked Edward.

He hesitated at first but continued, "The last words she said as she ran out the door were 'Don't wait up for me, I won't be back'. I'm sorry Bella; there was nothing I could do to stop her."

I sat there confused and lonely, not sure what to do or say.

"Bella, she still cares for you. She wouldn't have left while you were gone if she didn't. She probably wanted to make it as painless as possible, for the both of you."

"She could have at least said good-bye" I murmured quietly.

"That may be true, but…"

I cut him off, "I'm feeling rather tired, I think I'm just going to go to bed now."

"Sure thing" he said smoothly, but I could hear the hurt in his voice. He too had lost a friend too and I wasn't being very supportive for him at the moment, but I couldn't think straight. "I'll see you tomorrow" he added.

"Yeah" I mumbled, distracted by my thoughts, "See you tomorrow."

I stared out the window into the dark Californian night, lightning bugs circled around the yard with children chasing them and putting them into jars.

Childhood, I thought. The time when we didn't have a care in the world, everything was simple. We had no responsibilities, no worries and no drama, defiantly no drama. Our biggest fear was that of the dark.

It was the time when cartoons ruled the world, boys still had cooties and everyone you met was your friend. No one could get up and leave, even if they wanted to. It was the ideal time.

But when you are young all you want to do is be a 'big kid' but as a 'big kid' you just want things to be simple again. No madder what kids say, childhood is perfect.

That night I went to bed early, trying not to think, not saying I succeeded. My dream that night was one of me and Alice trying to make cookies, in which we burned every pan because we would start talking and forget about them. I woke up with regret for not doing more things like that.

I had an early flight that morning. My plane took off at 7 so I was up at 5; repacking my stuff back to get ready to go home.

"Ready Bells?" Charlie called from downstairs.

"Almost" I called back shoving my toiletries into the last bag. I barely got it all in, but it fit. It's weird how you can go somewhere and everything fits perfectly into your bag, but when you leave, with the same amount as you came with, you can barely get the bag closed.

I grabbed all my stuff and took one last look around the room to make sure I didn't forget anything.

I met Charlie at the bottom of the steps. "I'm going to miss you Bella" he said with pain in his voice, "It gets lonely around here without you."

I just smiled unsure of how to respond.

He shook his head as if to brush it aside, "It's not like you would want to stay here anyway" he mumbled to himself.

I felt bad for Charlie, he got to play dad two weeks out of the year and once in a great while on holidays. He truly did care for me more than I knew.

He picked up my bags and helped me load them back into the cruiser.

I took one last look at the small white house before I crawled into the front seat.

Charlie patted my knee as I buckled myself in, "I bet you miss Alice don't you?" He smiled, "You guys were inseparable last year."

I nodded slowly as I watched the houses fly by us, little did he know.

"I mean, god you two were attached at the hip" he chuckled, "You two even moved in sync."

This is not what I wanted to hear at the moment. I continued to stare out the window and tried to ignore him.

But unfortunately Charlie's not stupid. He looked at me concerned, "Is something going on between you and Alice?"

I pondered on what to say. "It's nothing" I lied, "I'm sure we'll work it out" or should have a while ago.

He nodded as he pulled into a parking spot at the airport. He carried my luggage for me as we headed in. I checked my baggage and headed towards security.

I turned to Charlie, "I'll miss you dad."

He smiled and I swear he had tears in his eyes, "Me too Bells, me too."

I gave him a quick hug and started towards security.

"Bella, wait…I almost forgot" he said as he handed me an envelope. "Happy birthday Bella, I know that it's not for two weeks, but I figured since you're here I might as well."

"Oh um, thanks dad" I said opening the small envelope. His face brightened as I pulled out two plane tickets. I looked at him confused.

He chuckled, "It's so you and Alice can come visit me again. I know you don't like to come here alone, so I got one for Alice too. Come get some sun, anytime."

I didn't know what to say, how could I tell him that it would never happen. I smiled obnoxiously, "Thanks dad" I said and gave him a hug, "I should really be going."

He nodded, "You don't want to miss your flight."

"Thanks again, I'll see you soon" I said with as much enthusiasm I could.

His smile grew, "Yeah! See you soon."

The plane ride was terrible, all I could think about was the worthless birthday present in my back pocket.

This all felt like a bad dream that I would wake up any minute from to find out that everything was normal again. I couldn't believe Alice was gone, at least not for good.

To my surprise, Renee wasn't there to pick me up at the airport, Edward was.

"Bella" he screamed as he walked toward me. I ran toward him at a sprint. But of course, being me I tripped over my own two feet, but right before my face hit the ground he caught me.

I blushed as he pulled me into a standing position. "Thanks" I murmured embarrassed.

Edward just smiled my favorite smile and helped me out to his car. As soon as I stepped outside, I knew I was home. Everything was green, not brown and there was a slight mist.

"I've missed you" he sighed into my ear, "Two weeks is to long."

I blushed and turned to look at him, he was staring right back at me. I blushed even redder, but just kept walking, unable to speak. And we both kept quiet on the ride, and didn't speak until we turned into the Cullen's drive.

"What are we doing? Aren't you supposed to be taking me home?" I asked confused.

He parked the car in the garage and turned to look at me. His face looked concerned. "I need you to do something for me" he said seriously.

"Anything" I answered to quickly.

He chuckled slightly, "Bella, we haven't gotten Esme out of bed since, well since, Alice left" he whispered the last part.

Before he could say anything else I jumped out of the car and ran up the steps to Alice's room. I needed to see for myself that she was gone. I threw the door open and looked around. Everything was there, just like it had always been.

There were piles of dirty clothes, her bed unmade and a blanket draped over the couch.

Edward caught up to me and snaked his arms around my waist. I turned to see his face, "Exactly how long ago did you say she left?" I questioned.

He grimaced, "She left eight days ago, we haven't heard from her since."

I nodded and fell back into his arms, it had finally sunk in. I understood it, my best friend was gone and as far as I knew, she wasn't coming back.

I hadn't cried yet, I had been strong, but I now realized that this wasn't a dream. It was reality. I cried into Edward's shirt, probably ruining it with my salt water tears. But he didn't seem to mind, he just rubbed soothing circles on my back and told me everything would be alright, even though I didn't know how everything could be okay when I just lost my best friend, one of my only friends.

I cried continually into the night and as soon as I would calm down from one fit, something would remind me of Alice and it would start all over again.

Edward eventually got me out of her room and into his, where I sat on his lap and cried until I had no more tears.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked gingerly sometime as it got dark. I shook my no. I just wanted to stay in the comfort of his arms. He chuckled, "You can stay here tonight, but Renee will kill me if I steal you for any longer, she was supposed to get you back today."

"This is a special circumstance" I shivered.

"I'm going to change, I'll be right back" he said kissing the top of my head and got up and went into the bathroom.

I laid there for awhile looking up at the ceiling, million questions buzzing through my head, but the one that continued to come up was, 'Why' and the question that continued to haunt me for years.

I slowly got up to stretch my legs when I realized Edward had left a shirt and boxers for me to wear. I silently thanked him; I was still wearing what I wore on the plane.

I changed quickly and looked around the room. I had been in there before, but only to quickly grab something or to ask Edward a question. I never truly got the chance to look around.

I moved around looking at random pictures he had scattered about, the first one was of him as a baby with Emmett and what I assumed was his parents, Elizabeth and Edward Sr. The next ones were of him and Emmett growing up and the last picture was one taken last year around this time and I immediately regretted looking.

Everyone was sitting outside in the meadow. Emmett, Rose, Edward and I were laughing at something Emmett had said and Alice and Jasper were just looking at each other with stupid grins on there face. Everyone looked so happy.

Edward walked out of the bathroom and noticed me staring at the picture and rushed to my side. I tried to cry but I couldn't, my eyes were dry.

He carried me and set me on the bed. I stared at him and tried to think of happy things, things that didn't involve Alice, but that made everything worse.

Edward pulled me close to him and began to hum, it was a peaceful melody. It made me forget everything and I soon drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep.

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That morning I woke up in Edward's arms. It took me a while to remember why I was there. But it unfortunately all came back to me.

I began to blame myself for Alice's leaving. "Maybe if I would have talked to her when she came back from Seattle, nothing would have changed" I explained to Edward.

He shook his head, "Bella, you can't keep blaming this on yourself."
"But if I just…"

"But nothing" he said sweetly putting his hand on my face, "It's not fault."

"But it is Edward" I cried, "It is, I know it is. I could have at least tried to fix things with her, found out what was going on, something. I just never tried."
"You did what you thought was best and at the time we all did. We gave her space and she took it and went running. You cannot blame this on yourself. You just can't" he said seriously.

I looked to the ground and mumbled, "But I am."

He shook his head slowly and squeezed me into his chest, "Come with me" he said quickly pulling me out the door and down the hall.

"Edward?" I screamed, "What are you doing?"

He didn't answer until we were in front of Carlisle and Esme's room, "Bella, if you won't believe me then you are going to talk to Esme. She can explain to you what I can't."

I gave him a dazed look, "What do you mean?"

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head, "Just go talk to Esme, she may have more answers than you know."

I nodded and opened the door slowly. I turned back to look at Edward, who just pushed me forward. When I was inside he closed the door behind me.

The room was dark and kleenexes covered the floor. I walked over to the bed, "Esme?" I called calmly as I approached her lifeless figure.

She began to stir and turned to show her face. Her eyes were red and puffy; she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"Bella" she mumbled, I nodded. "I suppose Edwards told you?" I nodded again as I fought back tears. She motioned for me to sit down next to her.

She embraced me as I sat down. I took one look at Esme depressed figure and we both began to cry. We held each other and cried, how could one person hurt us both so much?

"Why Esme? Why did she just leave? Without a good-bye?" I wailed.

She sniffled, "I know Bella. There are so many questions I want answered myself."

After awhile Esme reached over to her nightstand and handed me an envelope.

I fought back tears and asked, "What's this?"

"Answers" she smiled slightly.

I stared back confused. "It's not much" she continued, "But it's all I've got."

I sat back against the pillows and slowly opened the small white envelope.

Bella, If you are in pain right now I'm sorry. I am sorry for any hurt I have caused you. But I couldn't face you, I couldn't say good-bye. I had been planning to slowly stray away from you so it wouldn't hurt you as much when I left, but as you know it didn't work. It was too easy for me to forget my plan a couple weeks ago. But the truth is I don't belong here and I never did. I have done things that you could only imagine and you deserve better friends than me. I promise you, you will never have to face me again if you don't want to and I'll totally understand if you don't. You are the best thing that ever happened to me Bella and you will forever be in my heart – Alice

I looked at Esme when I finished reading while silent tears flooded down my cheeks.

"You're the only one that got one Bella. She cares for you and don't ever forget that because she may need you one day and you two were to close to just forget each other."

I looked at her confused, "Why, why'd she leave? I still don't get it."

Esme hugged me tightly and gently stroked my hair, "I don't know why, the only information we have is the one in that note."

"But how could she just leave us, leave me…leave you" I cried.

Esme smiled and continued to stroke my hair, "That's what I want to know. All I know is that I lost one daughter this week and I don't plan to lose another."

I looked into her eyes and could tell she meant every word.

"I gave up on having a daughter so many years ago. Well actually I never thought that I would have children and then when my sister died I suddenly had two beautiful boys. Then you and Alice came into my life. Actually everything good has come in twos" she laughed, "I don't care if you aren't technically related to me Bella, you are my daughter and so is Alice. You will always be."

"You're like a second mom to me Esme and Alice is my sister" I said truthfully.

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It took us another two weeks to get Esme out of her bedroom, but everyday I would go and see her. She seemed to be happier when I was there.

We comforted each other and tried to make sense of everything. But never did, we both lost someone who meant everything to us. But in the back of my mind she wasn't gone, at least not forever.

Hope, that's what it came down to. I still had hope and with hope I knew that I would see Alice again. I would find the answers that haunted my dreams at night. I would see my best friend again.