House looked up, as Chase wandered into the office, looking lost.
"Uh," House said, as he sat, holding Rachel in one arm as he held her bottle with the other, "why are you here?"
"I cheated on Cameron," he said, blankly.
"What, you looking for Taub?"
Chase shook his head, "it's not that. She knows, and it's okay, because she took me to this party, and someone spiked the punch, and she doesn't even know what she did, but she woke up naked, and I just happen to actually remember doing it."
"So you cheated, but she doesn't mind. Why are you here again?"
"Because I liked it. I liked it more than I liked being with Cameron."
"Ah, in that case, go find Wilson. He has plenty of experience with that."
"He has plenty of experience having sex with a man and realizing he likes it way better than having sex with a woman?"
House groaned, "that sucks."
Chase looked at him.
Then smiled, weakly.
"You really don't give a damn, do you?"
House shook his head, "nope."
"Well then I guess the world hasn't quite broken after all."
House snorted, and set the now-empty bottle on his desk, gesturing one-handedly at Chase to hand him the baby bag.
Chase did, and House stuffed the bottle in a pocket.
House took Rachel's pacifier out of the bag, putting it in her mouth, and held the baby girl in his arms until she fell asleep.
Then he looked up at chase, "are you going to say something else, or has the sight of me taking care of a baby rendered you speechless?"
Chase sat in the recliner, as he watched House.
"No… it's just… kind of nice to watch."
House rolled his eyes, "go away. Go find Thirteen; maybe she'll have something to tell you."
*
Later that week, Wilson dropped Cuddy off, and she was more than a little surprised to find House on his hands and knees on the floor, grimacing, as he crawled around.
"What… are you doing?"
"Rachel decided it would be fun to stick her toy in an outlet. Thankfully, it was rubber and not wet. I'm child-proofing the apartment."
He stuck a plastic cover in a socket, then looked around.
He sat up, seemingly satisfied.
Rachel crawled over, from where she had been playing with blocks.
She smiled at him, and giggled.
He picked her up, and buzzed into her neck.
Cuddy watched, smiling.
House held Rachel up to her, and she took the baby girl, blinking.
House scooted over to the couch, and slowly, painfully started to pull himself to his feet.
He jerked, and in a split second, he was on the floor, holding on to his leg as though it were being sawed off.
"House!"
He grunted, but managed to raise a hand off his leg, telling her he was okay.
He crawled onto the couch, and curled there, breathing heavily, his back towards Cuddy.
Cuddy sat Rachel on her lap, and wheeled over to the couch, touching House's shoulder.
He raised his hand again.
"House, I'm not gonna believe you're okay unless you say something," she said, catching Rachel as the girl tried to crawl off her lap.
He slowly, painfully turned over, and looked at her, wearily, his face paper white.
She sighed.
"Every Wednesday, your leg pain is twice as bad as usual."
He sighed, tiredly.
"PT does that," he mumbled, reaching to gently brush his thumb over Rachel's cheek.
Cuddy looked at him.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I thought you'd be mad."
"Mad that you were finally checking out some PT after ten years of me nagging you to do so?"
"Mad that I was doing it so I could take care of you."
Cuddy gripped his hand.
"You're an idiot."
He smiled tiredly, nodding.
Cuddy brushed her hand over his face, "good."
He closed his eyes.
She put Rachel in her crib, and sat in the armchair, watching TV on mute while House slept off the pain.
*
Cuddy blinked, as her cellphone went off in the middle of a meeting… with House's ringtone.
"I'm sorry," she said, "it's my boyfriend, he knows not to call me unless it's an emergency."
The donor nodded.
"Yeah, House?"
"I think you should probably hear this."
A pause, and then, "cu-y! cu-y!"
She blinked, "she's babbling. She's been babbling for ages."
House's voice, "Rachel, what's mommy's name?"
"Cu-y!"
Cuddy nearly dropped the phone.
"Th-thank you, House. I… I'm in a meeting. I'll call you back later."
"Okay. Just thought you would want to hear."
"Uh-huh."
She hung up.
The donor, a woman about House's mother's age, smiled.
"Do I detect that something major has just gone on with baby development?"
Cuddy smiled weakly, "she just said her first word."
House sat on the table in Chang's office, watching Rachel chew on a set of brightly colored plastic keys.
Chang came in, and smiled at him and Rachel.
"Still hanging in there, I see?"
House nodded, with a small smirk.
Chang set her file down on the table, and pulled up a stool.
"You okay?"
House nodded.
"You look like you're in too much pain for the meds to be working right."
"I couldn't get down onto the floor."
"You couldn't physically lower yourself, or it hurt too much to try?"
"It hurt too much to try. I got there by falling and, but I couldn't get down in a controlled manner. Otherwise I would be telling this to Carla, instead."
Chang nodded, holding out her hands for him to straighten his leg, and looking down at Rachel, "what were you doing? Rachel being a terror? Throwing daddy's papers on the floor?"
Rachel giggled.
House snorted, "she decided it would be fun to stick a toy in a power outlet. I saw her and grabbed her away, and was trying to put one of those little plastic covers on it, but I couldn't get down onto the floor."
Chang nodded, letting go of his leg.
"Nerve or muscle?"
"Muscle. Keeps spasming… anything sets it off, it's really touchy."
She nodded, "I'll up the muscle relaxants, see if that helps."
House nodded, and took the script she wrote him, and watched as she crouched by Rachel's stroller, playing with the giggling girl.
Rachel seemed to love Chang.
House smiled a bit.
He'd been surprised, ten years ago, when Carla started showing.
He'd sort of expected that Chang would be the one who got pregnant, if they decided to have kids by a sperm donor, or something.
But Marian was younger than Carla, still doing her fellowship at the time.
They'd had their daughter, Samantha, a few weeks after Carla had stopped doing sessions.
He'd gotten a post-card in the mail.
It had been a few years later, that he'd gotten a second one, with Carla and Marian sitting, and a little blond girl holding a dark-haired baby wrapped in blue.
"So how old's…" he grimaced.
Chang smiled, "Aaron, the younger one?"
House nodded.
"Four."
"Cool."
She smiled.
*
Foreman frowned, as House stumbled into the smaller office, half holding himself up on the stroller.
The older doctor stumbled again trying to get to his desk, and that time fell, with a loud grunt.
The kids all looked at Foreman, who shrugged, and went into House's office.
House looked dizzily up at him.
"Have you been eating?"
"Yeah," said House, taking Foreman's offered hand, "pain lady upped the dose of muscle relaxants. Dizzy, blurred vision."
"You *drove* here like this?"
House shook his head, staggering, "it didn't start until a few minutes ago. First time I've taken the higher dosage."
Foreman nodded.
Rachel wailed.
House sighed, and tried to go figure out what the problem was, but fell.
Foreman rolled his eyes, put Kutner on baby-sitting duty, and gripped House's arm, half-dragging him over to the recliner, where he sat, looking… dizzy.
"Do we have a patient?"
"No."
"Okay."
House could hear Rachel giggling from the other room.
He closed his eyes and slept.
*
Marian took the muscle relaxants back down, and upped the NSAIDs instead.
*
House walked in, as Cuddy sat on the couch.
"House…" she said, looking at him, "I can take the legal guardianship back now."
He nodded, hesitating, "she's yours first, Cuddy."
"I want her to have both of us, House. We… we're like pool balls. We crash into each other every so often, and then we break apart. We can't ever have real relationships with anyone else, but we're both so screwed up we can't manage to stay together for more than a year."
House nodded, "I get that."
"She's maybe the thing that could hold us together."
House nodded.
"So… so I want to marry you. So that we can both be her legal guardians. It doesn't have to mean… that we're married. We don't have to wear rings. We can keep colliding and bouncing apart. But legally, we'll both be her parents. That way neither of us will be bouncing in and out of her life."
House plucked the pen out of her hand, leaned over the table, and signed the form to apply for a marriage license that was sitting on the table.
Then he looked at her.
She looked surprised.
"I would have married you twenty years ago if I could have gotten up the courage. I would marry you now if I wasn't too much of a coward to get rid of my escape route. And I will certainly sign a marriage license so that we can both be there for Rachel."
Cuddy wasn't a sappy person.
But something about House's flashes of humanity always got to her.
She smiled, and cried.
House looked alarmed.
*
Cuddy sat on the couch, watching House limp around after Rachel, as the girl toddled along through the apartment.
It was comical, this tall man limping along after this tiny child.
But it was also beautiful.
*
Wilson walked into the bowling alley, looking around.
Finally, he spotted his friend's lanky form.
He hadn't identified it previously, because it was currently kneeling on the floor, helping a two-year old roll a bowling ball down the alley.
Wilson smiled, and walked up.
House and Rachel turned around, and Rachel let out a squeal and ran towards him, "Wilson!"
Wilson smiled, and picked her up.
She smiled, "I bowl!"
"Uh-huh," said Wilson, setting her down so she could go pick up her ball as it rolled out into the ball return.
Wilson looked at House, who looked… tired… and pale.
"You okay?"
House nodded, "yeah, just… hectic. Lost a patient, hospital's being inspected, and Rachel had a cold."
Wilson nodded, reaching over to grip his friend's shoulder, briefly.
House rolled his eyes, and turned, as Rachel ran back over, "I want food!"
House nodded, "they've got pretzels, nachos, and fries."
"Pretzel."
House took her hand, nodding to Wilson, "I'll be right back."
Wilson smiled, and sat down to put on his bowling shoes.
A few moments later, he turned around, at a commotion at the food counter.
He walked over, as he failed to identify House's head, which would usually be sticking up above the crowd.
He found his friend sitting on the floor, holding his elbow.
Rachel was crying.
A lot of people were staring.
House sighed, as he saw Wilson, "just the medication. Having some side effects from the new anti-depressant, I think."
Wilson nodded, and pulled House to his feet.
House limped back to the lane while Wilson waited with Rachel for her pretzel.
*
When Wilson came back with a much calmer toddler on his hip, House was sitting in one of the chairs, rubbing his face with both hands.
"Are you okay, House?" asked Wilson, setting Rachel down and telling her to take House's turn.
House nodded, then shook his head, "I don't know. I feel like I'm going to pass ou—call Cameron."
Wilson blinked, "what?"
"Abdominal pain the last two weeks and tarry stool."
Wilson sighed, "the NSAIDs."
House nodded, "it's just an ulcer. Call Cameron… I should probably go to the emergency room, but there's no point in scaring Cuddy."
Wilson nodded, and called the blond emergency medicine attending.
Rachel came over, and climbed up into House's lap.
"I got gutter."
"That's okay. Dad isn't feeling too good, so we might have to call it quits, anyway."
"Okay."
House gently brushed Rachel's dark brown hair back out of her face.
"I think Uncle Wilson should drive you home okay?"
Wilson turned around, blinking.
House looked at him, blinking sweat out of his eyes, "a-m-b-u-l-a-n-c-e."
Wilson nodded, told Cameron something, picked up his bowling ball, and gripped Rachel's hand, leading her out.
House dialed 911, then leaned forward, and vomited.
He explained what was going on, staring down at his bloody spew until his vision went dark.