Chapter 12: I Ain' Missin' Ya… Much!

August 1985, J&E Ranch& Stud, Fort Collins, CO.

"Ennis!" Jack yelled his voice urgent and excited, as he walked into the kitchen from the porch. In his hand was a pile of envelopes and catalogs.

"Christ, Jack, I ain' deaf!" Ennis said as he turned the corner into the kitchen.

"Couldn' prove it by me," Jack stated blandly, with a twinkle in his eye and a smile playing across his lips. His eyes swept quickly over Ennis from head to foot, and he licked his lips absently, an unconscious gesture that always sent a shiver up Ennis' spine, and didn't fail to do so this time as well.

"Damn… five fuckin' hours drivin' and the man still looks good enough ta eat!"
Ennis flushed a bit and returned this statement with "Way ya flap yer lips, it's a wonder I ain' gone deaf in self-defense!" and his mouth twitched with a repressed grin. He leaned causally on the counter and returned Jack's silent appraisal, and his pleasure at seeing him obvious by the darkened color and smoldering look in his eyes and his sudden intake of breath.

"God… missed ya so bad… no idea how good it is ta see ya…"

"Don' recall ya complainin' too much 'bout my lips last week, Cowboy…" Jack replied with a sly grin, taking a small step forward as he began losing the battle to hold himself back.

Ennis flushed again, and glanced around quickly before replying in a low, voice, "Yeah, well, ya was puttin' 'em ta better use then… weren' ya?"

"Play yer cards right, Cowboy, an I jus' might decide to give ya a replay a that…" Jack replied, before he gave up and, quickly tossing the mail on the table, crossed the room in 3 steps to grab Ennis and wrap him up in a huge hug.

"Damn…"Jack whispered, into Ennis' shoulder, "I missed ya, Cowboy!"

"Missed you too, Darlin'," Ennis whispered and dropped a kiss on the side of Jack's head.
Drawing back enough to see Ennis' face, but keeping his arms firmly around his waist, Jack asked, "How was it… was it awful as ya thought it would be?"

"Worse! I d'wanna talk bout it right now," Ennis said and waved his arm dismissively.
"What do'ya wanna talk bout then?" Jack asked, though he could tell by the look on Ennis face that talking was the last thing on his mind.

Ennis proved him right, by bringing their lips together in a passionate but gentle kiss.

"Ehem!"

Ennis practically leapt across the room at the sound of someone clearing their throat.
"Shit! Dammit… fergot ta close the damn door… all yer fault Ennis fer being so damned easy to lose myself in…"

Jack grimaced as he watched the color drain from Ennis' face and then immediately flood back in.
Breathing a sigh of relief when he saw who it was that had walked in on them, Jack stepped forward and extended his hand to shake with the man standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Sandy!"

"You boys gonna be doing that kinda thin' in the lighta day, might be a good idea ta close the door first!" The man growled, although his rough demeanor was tempered by the smile around his eyes that quickly reached his mouth when he reached out his hand to return Jack's handshake.

"Jack." He said, pumping Jack's hand and clapping him on the back.

"Ennis," the man said and tipped his hat by way of greeting.

"Sheriff Sanborn," Ennis muttered, his eyes lowered to his boots. He tipped his hat in return, but continued to look down.

"Dammint, Del Mar, if I tole ya once I musta tole ya a million times," Sandy said, rolling his eyes at Jack and grinning, "call me Sandy! Ain' noone in this town called me Sheriff Sanborn in the damn near 10 years I held the job!"

"Yessir," Ennis muttered, and both Jack and Sandy chuckled.

"So," Sandy said, sensing and sympathizing with Ennis' discomfort and deciding to take pity on him, "what's goin' on… that is… a… well what's the occasion?" This time his face colored briefly. Though he had no issue with Jack and Ennis and their connection to each other, and he thought highly of both men, he found it difficult at times to ask questions directly related to their relationship. He knew it made Ennis uncomfortable to talk about it, so for the most part he avoided the topic unless it could not be avoided.

"Oh," Jack replied his eyes never leaving their lock with the set of brown eyes peering at him from beneath a hat brim, "no occasion really. Ennis just got back from Wyoming. Been gone four days."
Sandy smirked at this last part, the words were casual, but Jack's tone of voice said it may as well have been months.

"Wyoming huh? Went up to visit the family I suppose."

"Yup," Jack replied, "his daughter, Alma Jr. just got engaged, Ennis went up to meet the boy she's fixin' to marry… weddin's in two weeks."

"Wow," Sandy exclaimed, genuine feeling in his voice, "congratulations, Ennis. Hope the boy met with yer likin'?"

"Seems a'right," Ennis replied, still looking down but his voice sounded a bit less stiff now that the subject was leaning away from he and Jack and into, what Ennis considered, 'safe' territory, "he'sa roughneck. Work's in tha oil fields."

"Glad to hear it, nice to know there're still some responsible young men out there." Sandy said, and frowned when he though of some the trouble that had been brewing around town lately.
Sensing that Sandy was not there purely for social reasons, Jack cleared his throat, and asked, "So, what brings ya out this way, Sandy?"

"Right!" Sandy said, he face serious, "I just wanted ta let you fellas know, we been havin' some trouble with a group of teenagers around town. Bit of a rough bunch really, but I ain' been able to prove it's them causin' the trouble, so there ain much I can do at this point 'cept keep my eye on em and hope to catch em in the act."

"What kinda trouble we talkin' bout?" Ennis said quickly, his head snapping up and Jack winced when he heard the slight thread of fear in his voice and saw that his face was draining of color again.
"Shit… this is not good… please don' get all work'd up, Ennis… we ain' had no trouble sense we been here… this don' mean there's any comin'…!"

"Ennis…" Jack said his concern evident in his voice. He wanted to put his arm around his, reassure him, but he knew from past experience that it was best to wait till they were alone. Ennis looked at him, a sort of anxious unease obvious in his eyes.

Witnessing the exchange, Sandy quickly added, "Now, there ain nothin' fer you fellas to worry bout. The kinda trouble these boys been causin' doesn' have nothin' ta do with… well… it ain' That kinda trouble. Mostly it's just vandalism, a lil' petty theft, that type of thin'. Just keep the barn closed and locked, and yer doors and the windows downstairs in the house too, an ya shouldn' have no trouble."
Ennis released an audible sigh, and Jack could see some of the color returning to his face, though the worry lines still remained around his eyes. Thinking to relax the situation and change the subject, he invited Sandy to join he and Ennis in a drink, and then showed him into the living room. Coming back into the kitchen, he headed straight for Ennis.

"Ya ok, Cowboy?" He asked, touching Ennis arm.

"Fine," Ennis said, his voice a little strange, but not tense and strained like before, "jus'… fer a minute there…"

"I know," Jack said, "but ya heard Sandy. He wouldn' say we didn' need ta worry if it weren' true."
"Christ, Ennis, don' worry so much… we're ok!"

"OK," Ennis replied and blew out a breath of air that ruffled a wisp of hair that had fallen onto his forehead.

Jack smiled, and brought a finger up to brush that hair off Ennis' forehead, saving his true comforting for after Sandy had left, knowing that any physical comforting would only serve to make Ennis uncomfortable.

He risked a pat on Ennis' arm, before turning away and walking to the kitchen island, pouring three glasses of whiskey and heading back to the living room.

His back to Ennis, Jack didn't see the look of concern and fear on his face when he watched Jack walk away, and didn't hear the deep sigh as he followed him to the living room.

Jack lay on his back with his arms above his head, elbows bent, and hands tucked under his head. He heard the water running in the bathroom, and smiled. The past week without Ennis had been rough. It was the first time they had been apart overnight since they had moved to Colorado over a year ago.

The first night, Jack laid away for hours. He missed Ennis something fierce, missed his warmth, his quiet snoring, being able to reach out his hand touch him while he slept, just reassuring himself that he was there. He missed waking up in the wee hours of the morning barely able to breath with Ennis lying half on top of him, arms wrapped around him so tight, face buried in Jack's neck, as though he were afraid to let go, afraid that Jack might disappear while he slept if he didn't hold on tight.
That night, Jack had fallen asleep with a heavy heart and a feeling of emptiness that he remembered all too well from the twenty years they had lived apart.

The next night had been worse. Jack couldn't seem to get rid of the horrible fear that Ennis might not come back.

He knew it was silly to think and feel that way, of course Ennis was coming back… would only be gone four nights, but there was a part of Jack that couldn't help feeling scared of Ennis going to Riverton alone. A tiny little voice in Jack's head wouldn't shut up, and insisted on playing the 'What If' game.

"What if" Ennis gets there and realizes he misses his old life? Think about it Jack… that ain't gonna happen… remember that shitty trailer?

"What if" everyone in town knows bout us… what if they get after him? I'd never know… would Alma call me? Proba'ly not… still hates me I 'magine, even if she and Ennis get on a'right now… shit… calm down, Twist! Ennis can take care'a himself… he'll be fine. 'Sides, ya jus' talk'd ta him earlier… didn' say nothin' bout noone botherin' him! Yer getting' bad as Ennis!

"What if" Junior talks Ennis into staying there with her now that she's moving back to town? That's stupid Jack, why would he walk away from a prosperin' ranch with his name on tha place to move in with his newly married daughter…

But the one that scared Jack more then any of the others…

"What if" he gets there and realizes he made a big mistake… decides he's sick'a ya and wants ta stay there? Now that'sa dumbass thought, Jack… Ennis loves ya… said so right as he was drivin' away!

The thoughts went on and on until he finally couldn't take it anymore, and gave up. He went down to the living room and watched TV until it was time to go out to the barn.
The third night started out pretty much the same as the previous night. Jack's mind started asking the "what if's" and his head began to pound from tension and lack of sleep. He sat on the sofa, watching a boring movie about some woman whose family was trying to make her think she was crazy.

Suddenly, the phone rang, and Jack, who must have dozed off in spite of himself, was so startled he fell off the sofa. Cursing, he looked at the clock.

"Fuck! Two in the damn morning… shit… hope it ain't Bobby…"

Scrambling up, he grabbed the phone off the little table next to the chair.

"Hullo?" He said, fear and a little bit of anger in his voice.

On the other end a strange voice began speaking, "I have a collect call from," and Ennis' voice sounding far away, "umm… s'me, Bud", again the strange voice spoke, saying, "will you except the charges?"

"Yes!" Jack said, his voice coming out in a rush of relief and disbelief.

"Thank you," the strange voice said, and Jack heard a beep and a click, and then Ennis' voice came through much clearer.

"Hey, Jack."

"Thank, God... need'd ta hear ya voice…"

A wave of happiness coursed through him at the sound of Ennis voice, but was quickly replaced by another bout of fear.

"Ennis?" Jack said, "ya ok, Cowboy? Everythin' a'right there?"

"I'm fine, Bud. Everythin's ok here… how are you?" Ennis replied, and Jack could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"Doin' ok… ranch is runnin' good… oh… and Salamar foaled this mornin'… young'un looks jus' like the stallion…"

Jack talked on for a few more minutes, telling Ennis about all that had been happening since he'd been gone. Finally after about 5 minutes, Ennis' voice cut him off.

"Jack…"

"Yeah?"

"Miss ya, Darlin'… can't hardly sleep without ya," this was said in a low gravelly voice, and Jack could hear how lonely Ennis was.

"I miss you too, Babe." Jack whispered, and sat down heavily in the chair.

"Wish ya was here, Jack." Ennis said, and sighed heavily.

"I know, Bud, but we both decid'd it'd be better fer me ta stay here, keep an eye on thin's." Jack replied.

"I know that!" Ennis said, "still wish… anyway… how's Gary workin' out?"

When Jack and Ennis had started up their horse breeding venture, they both had doubts about whether it was gonna work. Although Ennis was a natural with horses and seemed to have a way with them that amazed everyone with the good fortune to witness it, neither of them had ever really run a business before and at first they were a bit lost.

Several months after moving into their new home, after most of the immediate repairs and changes were finished, Ennis and Jack made a trip to Wyoming looking at horses. Then they traveled to Texas on the same mission. When they returned they had with them a nice group of prime horse stock. Applying Ennis talent with horses and Jack's salesmanship, the J&E Horse Ranch and Stud Farm, was born.

In the relatively short time they had been in business, they managed to amass a nice little clientele that included several large ranches known throughout the country for the quality of their horses.
Along the way, they had hired several hands to work the ranch, as well as Rhonda.

Rhonda was a tall somewhat stout woman in her early 50's. Her husband Stan was one of the hands they had hired, and they had offered her a job as the cook. She and Stan lived in a small house just down the road from the ranch.

They had no children of their own, but Jack knew that she often baked batches of cookies and took them over to the Children's Center in Fort Collins.

The new hand that Ennis had asked about, Gary Ryder, was a young man who had grown up here in town. Ennis had his doubts about hiring a nineteen year old fresh out of high school, but Jack had put short work to his protests by quirking an eyebrow at him and asking what he thought woulda happened to them had Aguirre not hired them just because they were nineteen.

Jack smiled now as Ennis asked about him. He knew that Ennis was trying to be causal, but he also knew Ennis well enough to know that he was still uneasy about having hired the kid.

"He's doin' jus' fine," Jack replied, trying hard to keep even a trace of amusement out of his voice.

"Yer not lettin' him help with the foalin' are ya… cause I ain' had a chance to show 'em how ta do a proper job a cleanin' the stall 'forehand, an all yet…"

"Ennis…" Jack cut him off, he could hear the tension in Ennis voice, and thought it best to end his worrying before he really got started, "don'cha worry, Cowboy! Noone's goin', near the new mommies 'cept those ya already approved."

"Smartass!" Ennis bit out, and Jack relaxed to hear the worry leaving his voice.

"Well…" Ennis said after they had exchanged a few more good-natured insults, "better letcha get ta bed… know ya got an early mornin'… sorry I call'd ya so late…"

"Ennis…" Jack cut him off again, "I'm real glad ya called, Cowboy. I ain' slept much neither…"

Ennis chuckled, "Quite a pair ain' we… guess this is what love does to a body… huh?"

Jack grinned happily and replied, "I reckon so, Babe…"

"Nite, Jack."

"Nite, Ennis."

After that, Jack climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep easily, comforted by the knowledge that Ennis was missing him as much as he was missing Ennis.

The fourth night had gone the same, their late night call planned this time, and even though both were tired the next morning, they both thought it worth it.

Now, Jack lay waiting for Ennis to finish up in the bathroom and smiled like an idiot knowing that tonight, if he reached out his hand, there would be smooth, hot skin there waiting for his fingers to touch it.

Just when Jack was beginning to think that Ennis might have fallen asleep while brushing his teeth, he finally came out of the bathroom.

Raising up on his hands, Jack watched as Ennis walked over to the bed wearing just his jeans, feet and chest bare. Without looking at him, Ennis unbuckled his belt, and removed his jeans, tossing them over a chair in the corner. Leaving his boxers on, he sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face with both palms.

Getting up on his knees behind him, Jack began to knead the muscles in Ennis' shoulders.
"Tired, Cowboy?" He asked quietly, feeling the tension in the other mans back and suspecting he knew what was causing it.

"Damn… he's tight as a drum… poor guy… guess I know dern well what's got him all cranked up."

Ennis grunted in response, and reached his hand up to cover the hand that was still working on the muscles in his shoulder. Jack kissed his fingers and pulled him backward until he was lying on his back, his feet still on the floor. Stretching out next to him, Jack propped himself up on one elbow so he could look at Ennis' face.

"What's wrong, Ennis?" He said as he gazed at those troubled brown eyes, "you been quiet all evenin', and ya didn' even bother to go look at Salamar's foal."

"Just thinkin' 'bout what Sandy said bout them kids." Ennis replied, trying to avoid looking directly at Jack. Instead, his gaze was aimed in the direction of the intertwined shirts hanging on the wall.
Sighing, Jack turned on his back and stared at the ceiling. "Sandy tole' ya that there ain' nothin' to worry 'bout, Ennis! Them boys ain' been botherin' folks directly… jus messin' around with stuff."
"I know what Sandy said, Jack… don' mean they wouldn' mess with us if'in they… knew."

Sighing again, Jack turned and looked at the side of Ennis' face. Netierh spoke for a few minutes, and Jack had about decided that Ennis was asleep when he suddenly said, "Yer goin' with me." He said it in a soft voice, but one that brooked no argument.

"What?" Jack said, sitting up and looking down into Ennis' face, "goin' where…?"

"Ta Junior's weddin'… it's in two weeks, and yer goin' with me."

"But… Ennis… ya said when the invite came it would be better if…!"

"Christ, Jack… ya ain' never listen'd ta a damn thin' I said ta ya in twenty-one years… why ya startin' now?" Ennis said, rolling his eyes, then he grabbed Jack's arm and pulled him down on top of him so their foreheads were touching.

"I ain' leavin' ya here again… can't sleep without yer ass hoggin' up the bed… yer goin' with me!" Ennis said, his eyes burning hot into Jack's.

"Ya ain't foolin' me none, Ennis Del Mar… I know why ya want me to go, and it ain' got nothin' ta do with my ass hoggin' nothin'… Hey… wait jus a damn minute…"

"Hold on there jus' a minute, Del Mar… jus' whatdaya mean by that crack… my ass don' hog nothin'! Yer the one that lays on me every night like ya think I'm gonna float away er' somethin'!"
"Nice one, dumbass… now he won' do it no more…!"

Ennis flushed at that, but couldn't help laughing at the offended look on Jack's face.

Putting on his best drawl, he pulled Jack back on top of him and said, "Darlin' far as I'm concerned yer ass can do anythin' it damn well pleases… long as I'm the only one it does it with!"

"I told ya, my ass don' hog nothin'…"

"Jack…" Ennis interrupted, bringing Jack's mouth down to his and muttering against his lips "shut the fuck up and com'ere already!"

Jack resisted for exactly three seconds before he finally melted into Ennis.

When they pulled apart enough to speak, Jack whispered in a low voice that gave away all that he was feeling, "so what do ya think my ass should do now…?"

Grinning, Ennis tugged Jack until they both rolled and Ennis was lying on top of Jack, their whole bodies touching and whispered into his mouth while grinding his hips against Jack's, "Oh… I think we can fig're somethin' out."

Jack grinned a wide smile that made Ennis' insides turn to mush and other parts of his body become hard as a rock. Feeling the evidence of that pressed against his own hardness, Jack pulled Ennis' lips back down to his.

"Sure am glad ta have ya home, Cowboy!"

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