Chapter 15: Poisonous Intent

Ennis sat at the small table in the rented room he shared with his brother. He stared at the back of his hands while he listened to KE talk, and tried hard not to let the tears at the back of his eyes make their way to the front.

"Ya understand don' ya, Ennis? Me and Tess… we been wantin' ta be together fer awhile now. We was jus' waitin' so's I could save up some money fer the weddin'.

"I understand," Ennis muttered into his hands, his head spinning with the knowledge that after his brother was married, he would truly be alone with no one left in his life and no place to call home.

"Course ya know ya won' be able ta live here no more… after the weddin'…" KE said.

Ennis nodded, and cringed when he felt a single tear drip onto the back of his hand.

He wasn't sure what he was crying for truthfully. He and his brother had never been close… perhaps when they were younger, but after the thing with Earl… after Ennis became sure that KE had helped their daddy kill that old man that was always kind to Ennis and sometimes bought he and KE a sucker when they went into the drug store with their mamma and he was there playing cards… Ennis had felt that he no longer knew his brother.

Perhaps the tears were more for the fact that he now well and truly felt like an orphan, and had no idea where he was going to go or what he was going to do.

"Was talkin' ta a guy I met in the bar the other night. Owner a the ranch he works on is looking fer a couple'a fellas ta take his sheep up on Brokeback Mountain this summer. Job'll run right through til the enda September. Man's name's Joe Aguirre. Fella told me that he's gonna be hiring on first weeka June. That's the same week me and Tess're gettin' hitch'd. I think ma'be ya oughta go up there, see if ya can getta job. That'll take care'a the summer and give ya a chance to earn some money ta get yer own place when ya get back.

Ennis nodded again, and took the piece of paper that KE offered him with the address of Joe Aguirre's office.

That night, Ennis lay in bed and thought about what he should do. He couldn't stand the thought of being alone. He was good at it, had always spent a lot of time by himself and was used to doing so, but it had always been by choice. His sister and brother had always been there if he chose to seek out their company. Then his sister had gotten married and it was just him and KE. Now KE was getting married, and Ennis knew that from that point on, there would be no one there if he felt the need for company. As he drifted into a troubled sleep, Ennis thought of the next few months and how bleak and empty they would be.

The next night, after working all day at the ranch with his brother, he went home, showered and changed and went to see Frank Beers. He walked away with Frank's consent to marry his daughter, Alma… a girl he had very causally courted and who he liked and got along with. Although he felt no physical attraction to her, and the one time he had kissed her had been brief and afterward he had felt an overwhelming urge to wipe his mouth, she was nice enough and seemed to be crazy about him… or at least KE had said so.

Three weeks later, Ennis stood in front of a crappy trailer in the tiny dusty town of Signal, WY and watched as a young man with black hair climbed out of a beat up old truck, kicking the tire and cursing at the sputtering hunk of metal.

Suddenly, piercing blue eyes were turned on him, and something down deep in Ennis' soul stirred and the tiniest little voice he had ever heard… a voice that he stifled and ignored as quick as it spoke… told him that his life would never be the same.

He spent that summer falling in love with that black haired man, and doing those things that he knew had gotten old Earl killed… all the things that he knew his daddy and brother had found horrible enough to end a man's life for.

When he finally got back into town that day in mid August… his heart broken into tiny pieces, his body and soul screaming at him for being a coward, for leaving the one person in his entire life that made him feel worthy of breathing, and his brain screaming at him for feeling the way he did… he had no place to go, and no desire to look, so he went straight to KE and Tess' apartment.

He walked into his brother's apartment and the minute his eyes met his brother's his stomach turned into knots the size of grapefruit.

Somehow, he knew, from the look in his eyes, that KE knew about him… knew about Jack… knew about him and Jack. He could see it in the steely glare and the stiff set of his brother's shoulders.

At that moment, Ennis' confusion and wariness of his brother came true fear, and when KE opened his mouth and began yelling at him… yelling about the things his 'buddy' had told him he'd heard from Joe Aguirre, yelling about the things his daddy would do to him if he was alive… Ennis grew cold inside, fear gripping him in a tight fist.

When KE's yelling became physical blows, Ennis could not muster the strength to fight back. He simply stood there and took it, and when KE's fist connected with his jaw and he fell to the floor, he didn't try to fight it, he just lay there while his brother kicked him and screamed at him for being a 'no good cocksucking faggot'.

When the hitting and kicking ended, Ennis just laid there. Every part of his body hurt, though strangely the pain in his heart still throbbed the most. His face red, sweaty and still enraged, KE reached down and pulled Ennis to his feet.

Grabbing the front of his shirt, he pulled Ennis' face within inches of his own, and said in a voice with no emotion or remorse whatsoever for the pale boy in his clutches, whose nose was dripping blood and whose eyes were swelling, "Ya listen ta me, Ennis… and ya listen good! Ain' no brother a mine gonna be no damn queer… ya hear me boy? Yer gonna marry that girl ya got yerself engaged ta, and yer gonna live like'a man! Ya got that?"

Ennis nodded, saying nothing, his jaw hurt and he knew talking would be painful. KE however was not satisfied with a nod. Shaking Ennis hard and forcing a moan out of him as his battered body was whipped around, KE yelled, "YA GOT THAT?"

"Y…Yeah…" Ennis stuttered, he had been right, talking was agony, "I got that."

"Good… ya jus' see to it ya don' forget it neither!" KE said, and pushed Ennis away before he wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

Ennis turned and stumbled to the door, as he turned the knob, KE added in a voice so hard and hate-filled, that Ennis' felt his heart literally stop for a moment with the knowledge that he meant every word of it, "Don' fergot, Ennis Del Mar… if I ev'r hear bout ya goin' near that Jack Twist faggot again… I'll kill ya both!"

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Jack paced back and front in front of the bed. He had returned to the hotel with every intention of packing his suitcase and heading back to Colorado, Let that asshole find his own damn way home!

However, as he stomped around the room throwing things in his bag, he tripped over something sticking out from under the bed and hidden by the bedspread. Stumbling and catching himself before he rammed face first into the nightstand, he cursed and reached down to grab whatever he had tripped over.

Ennis' boot.

Sighing heavily, Jack flopped back on the bed and closed his eyes. Dammit Ennis… ya dragged me all the way out here so's I'd be safe from some asshole, and then ya take off and go drinking with a even bigger asshole!

That was the problem, that right there. Jack knew that what he said to Ennis was all bullshit. He had been with Ennis long enough, and Ennis had opened up to him enough for him to know that it was not a case of Ennis not wanting him around, or even a case of Ennis being ashamed of him.

Jack's anger had been more about fear then actual rejection. He had seen the look in KE Del Mar's eyes… the hate and anger when their eyes had locked in that glare. Jack was afraid for Ennis… afraid of what KE might do or say to him.

Be honest with yerself Twist… yer afraid he might say somethin' ta convince Ennis that bein' with ya is a mistake!

Jack sighed again, and stood up dropping Ennis' boot back beside the bed and going into the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink, he splashed water on his face, and stood looking at himself as the water dripped off his chin and wet the front of his dress shirt.

Most of the time he didn't even admit it to himself, and he had done everything he could to perfect the art of hiding it from Ennis, but every now and then, a tiny little piece of Jack's mind still worried that one day Ennis was going to decide that loving him was a mistake and walk right out of his life forever.

Dammit, Twist! Snap the hell out of it… jus' cause he took off with his brother and left ya out of it don' mean you have sit here and sulk!

Jack thought for a minute, and then decided to call the one other person in his life with whom he could talk about anything, he picked up the phone and called his ma.

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So far everything was going ok. Ennis and KE had gone to a little bar in the outer part of town, and thus far little had been said. They talked a bit about family, KE telling Ennis about Tess' garden, and Mandy, his eldest daughter's baby boy born just last month.

Ennis listened carefully to KE's thoughts, and detected nothing that led him to think there was anything to worry about. He had begun to relax and was just starting on his third beer when KE suddenly turned to him with a glint of something unsettling in his eye, and said, "Hear from Joe Aguirre lately?"

Ennis felt his stomach drop, and he knew the color was draining quickly from his already pale face.

Shit!

Gulping, and trying to maintain a cool demeanor, Ennis said, "Nope… can' say's though I have… you?"

"Sure 'enough have…" KE replied, his voice getting harder.

Ennis swallowed his mouthful of beer forcing it down through his suddenly closed up throat, and plunked the bottle down on the table.

"Told me an interestin' lil bit'a information that ya seemed to leave outta yer letter tellin' me 'bout yer lil horse ranch out there in Colorado." KE added, smacking his own beer bottle down with a bit more force.

"Ya don' say." Ennis mumbled, his head lowering instinctively into his defensive huddle.

"Yup… told me that ya got yerself a partner up there runnin' that ranch. Fella name'a Jack Twist's what Joe said."

"Huh…" Ennis grunted in response. He could feel himself starting to tense up, and fought the fear that was suddenly coursing through him.

"Seems ta me," KE continued "that ya used ta know someone by that name… long time ago."

Ennis didn't respond to this, instead he closed his eyes and saw Jack lying cold and dead on the bed in their hotel room, a bullet hole in the center of his forehead.

Ya was wrong Jack… ole KE, he don' need no tire iron… he's got himself a pistol in his truck… seen it with my own eyes.

"Dammit Ennis," KE suddenly stormed, his voice lowered but still loud enough so the two men sitting at the bar turned to look, "I told ya ta stay away from that queer motherfucker… now I find out that yer ranched up with him and livin' the high life… flauntin' the fact that you're a fuckin' pervert fer the whole fuckin' world ta see!"

Ennis tensed, and glanced around quickly. Fortunately it was a slow night, and the only other people in the bar were Sam, the barkeep, and those two men who Ennis had never seen before.

"Didn'tcha listen when I told ya what would happen if I found out 'bout ya acting queer again?" KE said, his voice filled with disgust and anger.

Suddenly, Ennis saw Jack again against his closed eyelids. This Jack wasn't dead… this Jack was standing in an alley behind Newsome's Farm Equipment… this Jack was standing in front of his soon to be ex father-in-law, standing up to him and three big guys with baseball bats… this Jack had had enough of being bullied and pushed around… this Jack was telling L.D. Newsome, a man who had made Jack's life a living hell every chance he got for nearly 2 decades, exactly what he thought of him… this Jack was scared of what the men would do with those bats, had to have been scared to cross the man that could have him dead in minutes… but this Jack didn't let fear stop him from standing up to his tormenter and showing him what kind of a man he was. This Jack was the kind of man that Ennis admired and wanted more then anything to be.

For the first time in 20 years, Ennis raised his head until he met his brother's eyes head on and said with the barest hint of a smile on his face, "Yeah… I was listenin'… I jus' decided that I don' give flyin' fuck what you think!"

"Wha… what did ya say?" KE asked his voice full of surprise as well as anger. I can' believe he has the gaul ta sit there and talk like that ta me...

"Ya heard me, KE Del Mar… I don' give a shit what ya think or say anymore! I'm through bein' scared a ya! For 20 fuckin' years I liv'd in the shadow of yer threats… I married a woman I didn' love and hurt her in more ways then I can ev'r make up for. I hurt my lil' girls because I was too miserable ta be the daddy they needed. I hurt the one person that loved me more then anythin' on earth… a person who was willin' ta give up everythin' to have a life with me. I denied myself the right to be with the one person that I ever loved… hurt myself more then I can even begin to say… and for what? You damn near ruined my life with yer hate... I ain' lettin' ya do it no more!"

While he spoke, Ennis was rising slowly from his seat, his face turning red, and his eyes flashing with a fire that had never existed there before.

"Ya think yer such a big man, huh? Big, bad KE Del Mar… went on out and killed yerself an old man jus' cause ya didn' like who he was… didn' like what he done in private! Well let me tell ya somethin' and ya better be listenin' ta Me… Jack Twist is ten times the man you'll eve'r be! An I'll tell ya somethin' else… I may be queer… I may be a goddam cocksuckin' faggot… but I know this much… it takes a hellauva lot more then likin' pussy ta be a man! Do yer worst asshole... come on at it... I think you'll find that this particul'r queer is man enough ta kick the shit oughta the likes a you!"

Ennis stopped here, and stood watching KE, waiting to see what he would do next and almost hoping he would come at him. His fists were ready and his heart was waiting to take out 30 years of anger on one of the men who brought on the fear that nearly crippled both him and Jack... the fear that had touched and hurt so many people over the years.

He was to be disappointed. KE Del Mar sat speechless, anger and shock coursing through him and all he could do was sit there.

"S'what I thought," Ennis spat out finally, "I'm goin' walk on outta here now… gonna go on back to my man where I belong… and by tomorrow mornin' Jack and I will be gone. I don' think I need ta tell ya ta stay the hell away from me and my family or what will happen ta ya if ya don'. Ain' no need fer ya ta bother ta think of havin' a queer fer a brother neither… cause you don' have a brother… haven' had one since that day you helped our daddy murder an old man fer no other reason except fer bein' afraid of him and who he was!"

With that, Ennis spun on his heel, tipped his hat to the shocked men that sat at the bar and walked quickly out of the bar.

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Ennis stopped a few steps from the door and took a deep breath. He was afraid, afraid that KE might just follow him on out and make good on his threat. Ennis stood there for a minute or two… waiting to see if he would emerge. When the door didn't open, Ennis looked back through the window of the bar and saw KE still sitting in the same spot, his hands wrapped around his beer bottle, and a confused look on his face.

Satisfied that he was safe enough for now, Ennis walked quickly to the payphone on the other side of the street. Putting a quarter in the slot, Ennis dialed the number of the Super 8 motel, and asked to be connected to his and Jack's room.

The phone rang twice before it was picked up on the other end by a nearly hysterical sounding Jack.

"Jack… what's wrong?" Ennis said immediately, all the things he had planned to say forgotten at the tone of Jack's voice.

"Ennis! Thank God it's you… I was gettin' ready ta come lookin' fer ya!"

"Calm down, Jack! Tell me what happen'd."

"It's my Ma, Ennis… I called ta talk ta her… she always knows what ta say… Oh God… Ennis my Ma, she's dying! She had a stroke. Uncle Harold called the ranch, but Rhonda didn't have a number fer us... Ennis I gotta go there… I gotta be with her in case...!" Jack's voice broke.

Please God, let me see my ma… don' let her die 'fore I can get there.

"We're goin', Jack!" Ennis said, "I'm on my way there now… I'll be there in a few minutes… jus' hold on Jack. Try ta get our things pack'd so's we can leave as soon as I get there."

"Ok, Ennis, I'll pack. Get here quick ok!"

"I'm on my way, Jack!"

"Ennis..." Jack said, his voice desperate, "thank ya, bud... I'm awful sorry bout b'fore..."

"Hush now, darlin'" Ennis cut in, "plenty a time fer that later... let's jus' get ta yer ma... k?"

Ennis didn't wait for a reply, he simply hung up and started running as quickly as he could toward the hotel.

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